The Blackstairs feels have hit me hard after finishing COHF. Since there is little to no TDA fics yet, I decided to write this short oneshot. Enjoy!
Emma cursed under her breath as the knife she had thrown sailed past the target and into the wall. It was like she was ten years old again, learning how to throw for the first time. She could feel Julian's eyes on her from the other end of the room, the main source of her distraction.
With a startling clatter, she dropped the rest of the knives to the floor. She threw a clean towel over her shoulder and sat down on the bench with a groan of frustration. Burying her head in her hands, it wasn't until she felt a hand on her back that she realized Julian had come and sat next to her.
Her instinct these days was to flinch away. Upon realizing the depth of her feelings for him, she had tried to avoid physical contact as much as she could. This had proved more of a challenge than she had expected. She had never noticed how much her parabatai and she had casually touched each other until now. Cringing internally, she let him rub her back, trying to stop the erratic pounding of her heart.
"What's up, Em? You've seemed off for a few weeks now. Something bothering you?" Julian's blue-green eyes held genuine concern for her. She felt a pang of remorse in her chest.
Nothing you could fix, she thought.
"Aw, come on Emma. I'm sure I can. Just tell me what's wrong," Jules pleaded. Realizing she had said that aloud, she blushed; covering her face with her hands even more to hide it.
"Just drop it, Jules. I already told you that you can't help me with this one, okay? You don't have to constantly be worrying about me," burst Emma, her voice a coming out lot harsher than she had intended.
Julian blinked, removing his hand from her back. She immediately felt guilty; she could tell he was hurt.
She sighed, standing up. "I'm sorry, Jules. I didn't mean that."
He offered a small smile in return. "It's alright. How about we just move on to some hand-to-hand?" Julian suggested.
Emma's heart sank. She had been especially evading hand-to-hand training with Julian lately, but she could put it off no longer. Nodding faintly, she pulled a training dagger from the rack on the wall and went to stand on the mat with Julian.
Squatting low, she anticipated Julian's first attack. He lunged to the left, but she rolled to the right. Unsheathing her practice dagger, she came at him from his exposed back, thinking she could get a blow in before he spun around. But he had seen her already, and she found herself tumbling backwards onto her back, Julian landing directly on top of her.
Her pulse spiked. This was the exact situation she had been trying to avoid or weeks. She swallowed hard as she gazed up at Julian's exuberant face, every inch of her body on fire where their skin made contact.
"I finally beat you! Let this day go down in the history books. The title will read: Julian Blackthorn knocks the wind out of Emma Carstairs in hand to hand combat training."
You've knocked the wind out of me in all senses, Jules, she wanted to say. But even if she had been able to breathe, she wouldn't have had the courage to speak those words aloud.
She didn't know if she ever would.
Emma turned her face away from Julian so he couldn't see the tears welling in her blue eyes.
Review and let me know if you want a collection of Blackstairs oneshots or if I should just leave this one as it is. Thanks for reading!