Another meaningless oneshot for you. Just popped into my head on the way home from a wedding.
Disclaimer: I do not own the song or the characters or the lot, i am just borrowing them for entertainment purposes. No profit being made from this.
Please r'n'r
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
Your probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself instead of calamity
Peace, Serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But Ive got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps until I'm full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
Ill be your best friend and you'll be mine
Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if u want to
Cause I want to hold yours too
Well be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But its time for me to go home
Its getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself instead of calamity
Peace, Serenity
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Lindsay sat in the airport departures lounge, waiting for her flight to be called. As much as she might have tried, she hadn't really prepared herself for this moment, where she had to go back to face the worst nightmare of her life.
Strangely enough though, her mind wasn't really focused on the trial, or of coming face to face with the monster who took her friend's lives many years before. Her mind was instead focused on Danny. Hawke's words echoed in her head. At least call him. Give him a chance to say goodbye.
As it was, she wished that she could have said goodbye to Danny. She knew that leaving a card was the cowards way out, but she hadn't been able to face him. Wouldn't have been able to lie if he asked where she was going.
She hadn't told Danny about the night her friend's had been murdered. The only people in the lab that knew at the moment were Mac and Stella. Mac, because he knew from her file, and Stella, because she needed someone to talk to after she broke down in the morgue 2 weeks before. She didn't want anyone else to know, didn't want to face the looks of pity, didn't want to be reminded of what she had to face. Didn't want anyone, especially Danny, to see her inner self, the one who still cried herself to sleep, and the one who still had nightmares about her inability to help as her friends were screaming in the next room. She didn't want to lose the tough outer façade that she kept, the one that kept everyone at a distance.
But now, she reasoned, everyone in the lab would know. Mac couldn't keep it a secret from the other team members, who had to cover her shifts, and not give a reason.
She knew Danny would be hurt by the fact she never told him. Despite how close they had become in the last few months, she'd always kept her distance. Deep down, she knew this wasn't fair to him - he too had so much baggage, what with Tanglewood and his past, and yet he had no idea that she too, had a deep secret.
The reason she never told him, she mused, was that she didn't want him to think that she'd not done enough to save them. She knew, deep down, that he wouldn't think that of her, but her heart fought to keep the blocks up, just in case he let her down. She didn't want to lose his friendship. Didn't want to lose him. Because she knew that he was more than just a friend to her.
She sighed and shook her head. She shouldn't be tormenting herself with this. If he was angry, then she could deal with it when she got back. She had enough to worry about without wondering about Danny.
She was so wrapped up in her thoughts, that she didn't notice that she was being watched. Danny stood in the doorway watching her. He could she that she was conflicted about something, but since she'd stood him up, they'd lost that closeness they once had.
He'd smiled when he read her card. He knew that Lindsay wasn't one for emotion, and that she preferred to keep her feelings to herself. So he just accepted that she'd be back soon. Until he was stood around waiting for his results. He'd let his mind wander, and he thought back to earlier that day where he's seen Mac and Stella hug Lindsay, like they knew something he didn't. He heard Hawkes and Adam talking about Lindsay's goodbyes to them. And he began to feel left out. If they were as close as he thought they were, why hadn't she said goodbye to him face to face, like she had with everyone else. He didn't even know why she'd gone.
Well that was until Mac called his meeting, and told them they would have to work longer shifts for the next few weeks while Lindsay was away. None of the team had been too happy about it, so they had demanded an explanation. But once Mac told them about Lindsay's mysterious past, Danny felt his anger die. He never would have guessed that behind the mask that she wore (and he knew it was a mask), there was a secret that had almost destroyed her life. He couldn't stay mad at her. Not after what she went through.
But he was still upset that she hadn't said goodbye. And Mac must have noticed. Mac seemed to know everything. After Lindsay hadn't shown up for their date, Mac had tried his best to pair them together as little as possible, as if he knew they had issues that had not been resolved. Mac could see that, even though Lindsay had asked for her space, Danny still acted like a friend, offering the support she needed, trying to help all he could. Which was why, after they had wrapped up their case about the guy being bashed in the head with a skateboard by his partner, Mac pulled Danny aside and gave him Lindsay's flight information.
Danny hadn't been sure what to do with what Mac had given him. Yes he wanted to see Lindsay and ask why she had left without warning, but he could tell that she hadn't wanted to talk to him just yet, That was why she sent the card.
In the end, he decided that he needed to see her. Needed to talk to her. Which is why he was stood in the airport, watching her suffer with whatever memories were plaguing her. But now he was here, he didn't know what to do. She hadn't wanted to talk to him for a reason, so why was he here. He'd just make it harder for her. Debating whether or not to just turn around and go back to the lab, he had his decision made for him when Lindsay turned around and saw him.
Lindsay jerked herself out of her thoughts when she heard that her would be flight was starting to board in 5 minutes. It was then she could feel someone watching her. She spun around in her seat, and her heart almost stopped when she saw him there. She couldn't understand how he'd found her, how he knew when her flight was. She started to get angry - how dare he come here when she'd told him she couldn't do goodbyes. But her anger died when she saw the uncertainty in his eyes - he didn't know how she would react to his presence. And she knew he deserved an explanation. Even if she didn't want to give him one.
"What are you doing here Danny?" Her voice was soft, but to Danny it sounded defeated.
"Came to say goodbye Montana, what does it look like?"
"I told you I couldn't do goodbyes Danny."
"I know. As I recall you also impersonated a farmyard animal."
Lindsay laughed - she couldn't help it. No matter how bad she was feeling, he always made her laugh. But her laughter died when she realised that she had to leave. Soon. And that he had to stay.
"Montana, I know. I know why you're leaving."
"Is that why you came? To bitch about how I never told you?"
"God know. I'd never do that." With a few short strides, he crossed the lounge to stand in front of her. "I just had to see you before you left. 'Cos I don't know when I'll get to see you again."
Lindsay lowered her head, trying to stop herself crying. She couldn't believe that he wasn't angry, that he'd still come and offered the support.
It was then that the attendant announced that Lindsay's plane was boarding now. Lindsay looked up again, half grateful that she wouldn't have to endure a painful chat with someone that she was trying hard to distance herself from, and half annoyed that she'd have to leave him.
"Danny, I have to go."
"Linds, wait a sec."
"Danny I can't. I have to go. I have to do this."
"No listen. I'm not gonna make you stay, 'cos I agree that you need to do this. You have to face these demons that are haunting you. I just want you to remember that if you need something, call me. Hell, if I could get the time off, I'd even come with you."
"You can't Danny. As much as I would want you to, I need to do this by myself. Alone."
"You're never alone Linds."
"Don't you understand? I have to. I don't have a choice here."
Hesitantly, Danny lifted a hand and brushed away the tears that were now pouring down Lindsay's face. The feel of his thumb on her face made her cry even harder.
"Please Danny, don't make this harder. I can't… I don't want to lose you, lose this, whatever this is. But I have to do this by myself, or I'll never be able to more on. I'm sorry, I have to go". Leaning up, she briefly touched her lips to his, before stumbling backwards, she turned and picked up her bag.
Turning to face Danny once more, she looked him in the eye, and whispered "I'm sorry." She waited until he nodded at her, showing that he understood, and then walked to the gate. As she walked away, Danny called out, "You're never alone. You'll see Montana. I'll be waiting for you when you come back."
Lindsay heard him, but carried on walking until she reached the gate, where she turned to look at Danny once more. She nodded at him to show that she heard him, and then turned away to enter the plane.
Danny stood there, watching until she was out of sight. He raised a finger to his lips and touched the spot where her lips had met his. Even though she couldn't hear him anymore, he whispered once more, "You're never alone."
Review? Please? Let me know what you think :)