NoName-chan: Hello, my crack babies~! Today, I have for you a SemiCrack Oneshot! The idea for this was thought up by the ever so amazing Elvira Rayne, so everybody send her love! I'll elaborate further in the Endnote, so let's get started: Vira-chan? Care to do the Disclaimer~?

Elvira Rayne: *throws glitter at readers* NoName-chan does not own DGM or the idea behind this! ^-^

Komui sighed into the stack of paper he was currently resting his head on, stirring his cup of coffee with a spoon. It had been nothing but a morning of torture for him. Reever had been breathing down his neck nonstop, forcing him to do hours upon hours of backbreaking labor. His back and wrist ached horribly, and his eyelids felt heavier than a sack of rocks. There was so much paperwork at this point, the purple haired man wondered if there was even an end to it. He felt like some kind of man slave! Was this legal? There was no way this grueling torment was legal! This day would go down as the most painful day of Komui's entire life…

Or, for a more accurate description of that morning, it was just an ordinary day in the science wing of the Black Order Headquarters.

Komui sighed once more, but this time the loud exhalation transformed into a long yawn. The man was exhausted after pulling yet another all-nighter, and not even his precious Lenalee's coffee could help subdue the fatigue. Another yawn escaped his lips. Perhaps he could close his eyes for just a little while and…

Suddenly, he felt a smack of pain on his head and sat up abruptly with a yelp. "Hey! Get back to work!" Reever snapped at the chief cantankerously, lowering his most recent tool of torture – a particularly thick folder – and rubbing the dark bags under his eyes. The purpled haired man had clearly not been the only one who'd stayed up all night.

Komui groaned and picked up his pen once more, signing the next document in the pile before him without even reading it. He was so bored! It would be another hour or so before Reever allowed him to take a lunch break, so until then, he was stuck slaving away under the sandy haired man's command. Oh, what he would give for a break, or at least an excuse to shove aside the endlessly growing pile of paperwork before him and do something else. Anything else!

God must have heard his plea.

Suddenly, the door to Komui's paper tornado of an office creaked open, and a certain white haired exorcist waltzed in like an angel from heaven. Or at least, he did in Komui's excuse-thirsty eyes. "I'm back from my mission!" Allen greeted with a smile. The scientist couldn't resist a cat-like grin as he jumped up from his desk and ran to the younger boy.

"Allen~! How incredibly wonderfully fantastically great it is to see you! How did the mission go?" he asked, getting way too close for the younger's comfort. He had to keep this conversation going for as long as possible.

Allen shrunk back a little, his supervisor's overly enthusiastic attitude scaring him a little. "U-Um, fine," he stuttered before holding out a folder he's been carrying. "We recovered the Innocence without too much difficulty. Lavi's taking it down to Hevlaska right now."

Komui yanked the folder from the exorcist's grasp and flung it behind him like a bouquet on his wedding day, his slightly psychotic gaze not leaving Allen's for a moment. Not even upon hearing the loud curses following the folder in question coincidentally hitting Reever in the nose.

Allen gulped slightly, shrinking back even more. Did Reever put Komui on steroids or something? Whatever the matter, he wanted to get away from him and fast. "W-Well, that's all, so I'll be going now…" he said, stepping back a few feet.

"No, no, what's the rush? Why don't you stay awhile, Allen~?" Komui asked in an eerie sing-song voice, thoroughly creeping Allen out. The terrified teen before him was his only way out of another hour of labor, he couldn't leave yet!

"N-No, really, I need to go. I have to… go see Jeryy! Yeah, that's it! He needs me right now, so bye!" Allen said, all but running out the door.

Komui's cat-like grin faded to a pathetic frown as tears welled up in his eyes. "WAIT! DON'T GOOO-" His plea was interrupted, however, by yet another whack to the head. He yelped in pain and looked up once more to see Reever clutching his damaged nose angrily.

"How about instead of tormenting children, you clean up the mess you made?" Reever suggested irritably, his inquiry sounding more like a command than a question, gesturing to the mess of papers that was once Allen's neat mission report. Komui gulped under the sandy haired man's glare and scrambled over to the mess, where he proceeded to pick up and organize the many papers – more to add to his stack *sigh* – and place them back in their folder.

After five minutes or so, Komui was almost done cleaning up his mess. The older scientist could hardly believe how many papers had been in that folder. It had seriously taken five whole minutes to pick them all up! Oh well, whatever. He was almost done now, so it didn't really matter. Komui was just placing the last paper in its designated spot when a bright gleam caught his eye. He picked up the source of the shine and inspected it to find that it was a one foot long unnaturally stark white hair.

"Hm, must be Allen's," Reever commented upon spotting the object of interest. "His hair sure is getting long, huh?"

Komui nodded in agreement, remembering the silver eyed exorcist's shoulder blade length ponytail flowing behind him as he hastily retreated. He was about to just fling the hair aside when, suddenly, another thought occurred to him.

"Wait, Reever," he began, looking up at the younger man, "didn't Allen get a haircut right before his mission?"

The Australian male blinked before his eyes widened in realization. "You're right! He got his hair cut to his ears right before he left!" His light brown eyebrows then furrowed. "But wait, if that's true, how is his hair already so long? He was only gone for a week… Unless you tested another one of your experiments on him." Reever glared down at the older man accusingly.

Komui yelped and shook his head rapidly. "No, no, I didn't test anything on him, I swear!" He was being honest, too. Believe it or not, this one actually wasn't his fault.

Reever seemed to sense the sincerity in his supervisor's words, and his glare slackened. He turned to look at the door Allen had exited out of not ten minutes before curiously. "This does raise some questions, though. How did his hair grow out so quickly?"

" I dunno…" Komui trailed off. However, he then seemingly got an idea, and his expression brightened considerably. "Does this mean we can take a day off to find out?" he asked, smiling at Reever with an excited smile. His dark gray eyes sparkled with hope and joy, and he looked so enthusiastic and inspired, it would take the cruelest of the cruel to crush his spirits.

So, naturally, Reever replied, "No, get back to work."

~oxOxo~

As soon as he escaped the cluttered death trap that was Komui's office, Allen breathed a long sigh of relief. That had been a close one! It had looked like Komui was bored when he'd entered the office, and the supervisor's boredom was never a good thing, especially when condensed and aimed at a single person. The last time Komui's boredom had targeted someone, well… Let's just say, Kanda Yuu had become Kanda Yuuki for a week.

That week had gone down as the most destructive seven days in the entire history of the Black Order, and that was even going up against the invention of Sir Komurin II.

Oh, yes, it had most certainly been a narrow escape on Allen's part.

The teenage exorcist's train of thought was derailed as a few long strands of snow white hair fell in front of his eyes. They must have come out of his ponytail while he was running, he assumed. He blew them away, but they just fell right back into his field of vision. He huffed a sigh of annoyance. This long hair was already getting annoying. Perhaps it was already time to see her again. But seeing her was dangerous, so he should only do so if he really needed to...

A jab in the eye with one particularly askew strand of hair, and his choice was made.

Allen's expression immediately turned serious, and he looked left and right to make sure he was alone before slipping into a nearby hallway as quietly as possible. If he was going to see her, he needed to make sure he wasn't caught…

The silver eyed boy silently snuck his way through the maze of corridors, hiding in the shadows whenever someone would walk by and breathing more quietly than an assassin. Stealthy as a ninja. He unnoticeably made his way around several more corners before reaching a long hallway lined with doors. After once again glancing around to make sure he was completely alone, he soundlessly sprinted to the end of the hall, stopping at the fourth to last door. He stared at the dark wooden surface leering over him for several moments. He had made it there. Her room.

Allen swallowed a gulp, a bead of sweat traveling down his cheek. He would need to get in and out of there fast if he was to avoid being caught by a passing finder, of worse – one of his fellow exorcists. His heart pounded in his chest, and adrenaline coursed through his veins. It was a risky task. However, the white haired boy clenched his fist. It had to be done. Gritting his teeth and furrowing his eyebrows in determination, he grasped the metal doorknob and turned it before pushing the door open. It was time to face her.

The door creaked open slowly, and Allen spotted the petite figure sitting in front of her vanity. She turned around, shoulder length locks of forest green swaying ever so slightly with the movement. Her amethyst eyes rose to meet his own silver, and her gaze seemed to bear into his very soul.

"Oh, hey, Allen. Do you need something?"

Lenalee.

Allen nodded his head. "Yeah. I need a new fix."

The teenage girl's eyes widened ever so slightly in realization. "Already? But it's only been a week!"

The younger male didn't let his gaze move from hers. "I know, but I need one and now. Can you help?"

Lenalee nodded her head slowly and turned around, grabbing a small wooden box off the vanity. "How much?"

"About half as much as last time."

"Right away." The violet eyed girl opened the box and removed something from it. She turned around to face Allen again and held out her closed fist. Allen reached out his hand so he could take the object from her grasp before bringing it close to his face to inspect it. In his palm lied six inch long stark white strands of hair joined together by a small clear comb-like plastic piece.

Hair extensions.

Allen reached behind his head to pull out his ponytail before clawing at his scalp and pulling away an accessory similar to that in his hand but twice the length. He handed the longer of the two back to Lenalee, who placed it in the wooden box before closing it, and replaced it with the shorter one. He glanced at his reflection in the vanity's mirror to find that his ashen hair now reached his shoulders. Perfect.

"Thank a lot, Lenalee," he told the female exorcist with a smile. "That long stuff was getting annoying."

Lenalee beamed back at him. "Any time, Allen!" The younger of the two couldn't help but admire the girl's kindness. For the past year or so, the older exorcist had always lent him hair extensions whenever he wanted to change his hairstyle up a bit. Hey, don't judge! Boys could care about their hair, too! This was really useful, anyway. This way, he could always keep his natural hair cut to his ears in case he ever had a mission or something that longer hair would be a burden in but still have to option of his low gentleman's ponytail. Lenalee was really nice about it, too. She was perfectly fine with keeping his love of hair extensions a secret from the rest of the Order. After all, who knew what would happen if his friends found out. Lavi would never let him live it down, that's for sure! Not to mention Kanda. The stoic samurai had enough to get at him about as it was. The last thing Allen needed was another thing for him to make fun of him for!

"Well, that's all I really needed, so I guess I'll head out now," Allen told Lenalee with a sheepish smile before turning toward the door. "I'll see you at dinner!"

"'Kay!-"

Suddenly, the door before Allen slammed open with a loud bang. A tall figure stood in the doorway, looming over him ominously. The young boy froze. Oh shit.

Like previously mentioned, Allen couldn't let anyone find out about his hair extensions. He would die of embarrassment! Boys weren't supposed to use girly things like hair extensions, and he would never hear the end of it if word got out that he wore them. But someone just barged into the room. Surely they'd find out! Oh shit oh shit oh shit-

Allen mentally smacked himself. He needed to calm down. Lenalee had already put away the hair extensions, so there was no reason for whoever just walked in to know what he'd been up to. It was fine, he could just say he was in Lenalee's room because-

Oh shit.

He was in Lenalee's room.

A teenage boy being alone with a teenage girl in her bedroom looked bad enough as it was, but the fact that the female in this equation was Lenalee made it deadly! How would he explain this one? He couldn't think of a way that wouldn't put him in the direct path of Komui's wrath should he find out. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit!

With no other options left, Allen settled for his safest option: Running out of there as fast as he could and hoping whoever just entered didn't get a good look at him! Yeah, that sounded like his best course of action! All of his mental arguing had only taken a second or two, anyway; The chances were that the person in the doorway hadn't even fully noticed his presence yet. The white haired boy could definitely escape! He would definitely escape! He was just about to take off, too, when he actually took a split second to look at who had just entered.

Standing in the doorway was none other than Kanda Yuu himself. Allen almost had a heart attack upon seeing the worst person he could possibly imagine to find him in Lenalee's room. This man would tell Komui without the slightest hesitation! Oh shit. He was dead!

However, then Allen noticed the samurai's hair.

Or more like, lack of it.

Kanda's hair – his long, straight, most well known hair in the entire Order – was cut to his chin. And in his left hand lied a long ponytail of hair extensions.

All thoughts of making a run for it left Allen's mind, and he stood there, frozen and gaping at Kanda. Said samurai's eyes widened in surprise and, most likely, slight panic upon seeing the shorter male. There were probably hundreds of things Kanda could have said at that moment, hundreds of ways he could have tried to explain the scene before the white haired boy, but he said only one word:

"Fuck."

What seemed like hours of shocked silence followed as the two male exorcists stared at each other wide-eyed. Neither had expected to meet the other in Lenalee's room, especially not like this, and it was pretty obvious neither knew what exactly to say. The room remained soundless for several more moments before, finally, Allen broke the silence.

"You… use extensions…"

"You're dead."

Before the apparently-short-haired samurai could slice Allen's head off or something equally horrifying, Lenalee jumped up and stood between the two guys.

"Guys, guys!" she exclaimed frantically, waving her hands, "I can explain!"

"'Explain'? HOW?! Kanda has EXTENSIONS!" Allen shrieked.

"I lend you both extensions!"

The two males froze. "What…?" Allen and Kanda asked in unison.

Lenalee huffed a sigh. "Yes, I lend you both extensions! You both have been coming to me for about the same amount of time, but you both asked me to stay quiet about it, so I did!"

Allen blinked before his eyes widened in realization. "You mean… I'm not the only one who uses hair extensions?!"

"Wait, moyashi uses hair extensions, too?" Kanda asked, blinking.

"IT'S ALLEN!"

"It's not just you two! Most of the exorcists at HQ borrow hair extensions from me in secret because they like to keep their hair short on solo missions," Lenalee explained, sighing once more.

"It's not… just us?" Allen and Kanda asked in unison.

"Nope. Lavi, Miranda, Krory, even General Cross; They've all come to me for hair extensions at least once. In fact, so many people come to me at this point, it's a wonder nobody has found out about this earlier!"

Realization dawned on Allen and Kanda. Lenalee… had a charity going for hair extensions! They gaped in shock at her. How long had this been going on? And why hadn't they realized before?

"But wait," Kanda said, shaking his head, "if all these people get hair extensions from you, doesn't that mean you'd have to have all their hair colors?" Allen nodded in agreement. She would have to have a lot of colors for that.

"I keep hair extensions of every color," Lenalee answered, scooting her chair aside to reveal the entire vanity to be covered with wooden boxes. Allen's eyes widened. How hadn't he noticed this?!

"But… why?" the white haired boy finally asked.

Lenalee offered the two male exorcists a small smile and raised a hand to touch her own shoulder length hair. "Because when my hair got burned off during my battle with the Level 3 Akuma on the ship a year ago, I missed my hair a lot. However, there's no way I'd be able to get by my brother with extensions, so I had to just let it grow it out naturally. That's why I got extensions of every color; This way, if anybody ever loses their hair in battle, they won't have to miss it like I did."

Allen and Kanda stood in silence for several moments. Lenalee… bought all those extensions… just so nobody would have to miss their hair like she did?

That…

… was actually really sweet of her.

"Well," Allen said, breaking the silence that had once again consumed the atmosphere upon Lenalee's confession. "Thank you, Lenalee. I think it's about time for me to get going now, though…"

"You're welcome, Allen," the girl replied with a smile. Allen returned the expression and walked off toward the door. However, before he was able to exit, he was stopped by a rough grasp on his shoulder.

Allen looked to the source of the almost painful grip to find Kanda glaring at him coldly. "I don't care if everyone in the Order uses extensions. If you tell anyone about this, you're dead," Kanda hissed before releasing the younger boy, shoving him out of the room, and slamming the door.

Allen blinked several times at Kanda's threat. Normally, he wouldn't give the stoic samurai's words a second thought, but this time… he… actually sounded pretty serious…

A shudder ran down Allen's spine. Yeah, he would keep his mouth shut.

~oxOxo~

Weeks, months, and years passed after that eventful day in Lenalee's room, and neither Allen nor Kanda ever told a soul about what they had discovered. It was for that reason that nobody besides the two boys would ever know that the entire Order used hair extensions. And it was for that reason that Lenalee's kind deed would be kept a secret forever.

NoName-chan: And there you have it! 3k+ words of plotless drabble! ^.^

Elvira Rayne: Did this seriously take you over 6 hours to write? e.e

NoName-chan: Yup! And it's now 7:30AM, so I need to wrap this up quickly! Now, let me quickly explain the backstory behind this shit: Vira started a group on Facebook for DGM fans called "D Gray-man Fanbase" (You should totally go join it btw ;D), and I posted a picture in there of some of the DGM protagonists, except Allen was a Fem!Allen for some reason. So Vira came up with the theory that Allen wasn't a female in the picture, he was just wearing hair extensions. The conversation went on, and she eventually came up with our new headcanon: Lenalee keeps hair extensions of every color just in case anybody's hair gets burnt off like hers did. I told Vira that someone should totally write a drabble about that, she told me to do it, and boom! Here we are 6-7ish hours later (In my defense, I did take several breaks to play Candy Crush…)! I hope you enjoyed this drabble (I doubt it this is pretty lame XD)! ^.^ Anyway, I've gotta go to breakfast with my dad, so let's end this. Vira?

Elvira Rayne: Please R&R this pointless shit so NoName-chan's all-nighter wasn't for nothing! ^.^