AN: This is my very first M rated fic. No realy, total perverted randomness.
One day 47 got a call from diana to go to hell and die and he kills himself with his fiberwire after that. But he failes as the fiber wire cracks in his hands so he gets a heart-attack after masturbating himself with a fiber wire he goes and Cuts his dick off before bleeding to death...Koniec. 47 then asks ''what does Koniec mean?'' The end was near. 47 ran as fast as he could but fell and broke his neck. Diana ran up to 47 with a broken neck and died. Before she died she let out a big queiff which in return ended up dead and the story died and everybody screamed and went to hell. In hell the devil stabbed the thread and 47 with a huge ass spear just to be sure. When 47 got stabbed he shit out a load of crap and it flew into the devils face causing him to Vomit a stream of Uwe Boll-like game-to-movie ripoffs (So that's where they come from...) and fall backwards into a pile of rotten fruit which smelled sorta like Old fish - as piles of stuff tend to - lying there, coated in shite and rotten fruit, Satan stared at the ceiling and wondered "Is that Saddam hanging there?" Before he could react he heard a loud rumbling sound and a Sherman tank, crewed by Ghandi, Niezche and John Lennon rolled over Satan's face, leaving 47 scratching his balls, as he openly showed his manlyhood, shocking every inhabitant of hell who suddenly felt rather inadequate, aside from Ghandi, who whipped out his own John Thomas and proceeded to cockslap 47, who fainted and woke up finding Bush fiddling with his manly areas, and in a sudden bout of rage, whipped out his Ballers and leaned backwards, shooting Bush's wife and camera, who was filming the whole thing, and proceeded to say ''Go on, George.'' Bush pokes around a little more, then satisfied that there are no WMD's there, goes off to play on his Etch-A-Sketch. Unknown to him 47 has rigged his etch a sketch which shortly explodes, so 47 flicks on his MP3 player and dances (very badly) to 'Can't touch this' by MC Hammer. The next track on his player is You Could Be Mine by Guns N' Roses, which puts him in the mood for shotguns from roseboxes so he dies, his pubes purple, but Diana sees this and takes off his clothes and greases every square inch of 47's body with C4, before jamming the detonator in 47's nose, but then Jesus came and stomped on Diana's boobs which caused her to shout out: "Do it again!!!" 47 then started masturbating quickly to the site which caused the devil to reappear and along with 47 proceed to spitroast Diana until she grew a 6 feet penis. 47 then pulled out a 9ft strapon and proceeded to cockfight diana with it until the winner decided to fuck Satan, but Satan womited himself to death at the sight of the two dueling with their cocks. Instead the winner decided to give a throathjob to Jesus who wanished into thin air. The winner of the cockfight received a trophy in the shape of a condome which 47 covered in lemon juice, hoping that a luckless elephant would use it and get a nasty burn. But instead, Timothy Olyphant licked it and turned into the Sheriff of Deadwood, only to be owned by a flying cat, cleverly disguised as a verb. Words were exchanged, before 47 reloaded his cat-a-pult and aimed up shot and hit God who fell butt-first on top of George Bush. His head up God's arse, Mr Bush struggled, until he realised that this was where he'd wanted to be all his life but got sniped by Mark Parchezzi III who then got shot by Dick Cheney who said: "Vote for Pedro."
AN: Completely made on Hitmanforum. Vote for Pedro