The light of the moon lit the area around them, making it easy for her to watch him sleep. It was cold and though she was shaking, he laid handsomely still. He was shirtless, his chest pulling her attention as it rose with a breath, reminding her of the moment she watched him remove the blue fabric. He spilt a spoonful of the wizard's soup on the front and had been fighting ants for the first few minutes of lying down. It was she, who had suggested that he take of the shirt, saying that it would be a shame to have the Keeper win because he had been eaten by bugs.

Kahlan gritted her teeth together, trying to keep from waking him with the sound of their chattering. He looked warm and part of her longed to crawl into his arms and experience something simple and comforting. It was impossible, though to that part of her, it was all that mattered. His shoulders rolled back, making her freeze at the movement. Moving slowly, he rolled onto his left side, facing her as his arm came up to rest beneath his head.

She could hear Zedd eating, he was always finishing off their food during his watch in the middle of the night. He was the strongest force that kept her from inching into Richard's arms. Closing her eyes, she turned her head back to the sky and tried to find a thought to keep herself warm. It would be her watch soon and she found herself wishing for the time to come. Opening her eyes, she sighed quietly and turned her head for one last look.

Their eyes met instantly and before she could look away, he smiled widely. "Can't sleep?"

"No."

Moving his eyes over her, he began inching closer. "Are you cold?"

"The nights have been cooling."

Richard touched her cheek and quickly wrapped her in his arms. "You're freezing. Here," he added, pulling his blanket over them both. "I don't know how much this will help."

Pushing her nose against his chest, she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath of his scent. "Thank you."

His hands rubbed over her back, making her warmer with each stroke. "I'll take your watch, Kahlan. Try to sleep." When she didn't respond, he pulled back and looked at her. It was the first time in days he saw her asleep, somehow completely comforted by his embrace.

She was still in his arms when she awoke the next morning. He held her firmly against him and she wondered if he had moved during his watch. Turning her head away from his chest, she removed the pressure against her nose and fought to open her eyes against the rising sun. She wondered if she should pull out of his arms or if the action would wake him up. Settling for a different motion, she pulled herself closer and for a moment, allowed herself to believe this was the way they would always be.

"You've been shaking most of the night."

Kahlan started to pull away, but he stopped her instantly. "Did I keep you awake?"

"No," he said with a smile. "But I did everything I could to keep you warm."

"Thank you."

"I think we should ask Zedd to- Kahlan, if you're sick..."

"I'm fine, I promise."

Rolling her to her back, he moved to lay over her and gently touched his hand to her cheek. "You look exhausted. Try to get more sleep before the others wake up."

"I can't," she said with a small smile. "Someone has to clean your shirt before we head out."

"I can do it."

"Cutting the fabric to remove the stain isn't the same thing."

He chuckled, his thumb stoking her cheek. "If you'll rest, I promise that I will take proper care of it."

"Richard-"

"Kahlan, please?"

"I will try to rest, but I cannot promise."

Tightening the covers around her, he smiled. "I'll take it."

He left her side with hesitation, the paleness of her skin causing him to worry more and more. It took him a few minutes to clean his shirt, long enough for their friends to awaken and pack their belongings. Kahlan didn't move other than the quiver of her body from the cold only she felt. When the others were ready to go, the Seeker knelt down at her side and gently rocked her shoulder. She gave no sign of waking.

"Kahlan? It's time to go." He shook her shoulder again, harder this time, but again, she remained still. Pushing her hair out of her face, he leaned forward and listened to her breath. "Zedd!" Looking up, he looked to his grandfather and motioned for him to come to their aid. Without hesitation, Richard ripped open part of her dress and reached inside, running his hand over the front and side of her corset. The others were surprised to see blood on his hand as he pulled it free. "Spirits, Kahlan. Why didn't you say anything?" He ripped the dress from her body and pressed a portion of it against the hole in the leather. "Zedd, heal her!"

Laying his hand over her, the wizard closed his eyes and took in the wound. "It's infected. She must have received it many days ago."

"She never said anything. Zedd, we haven't fought anyone in almost a week. Where could she have-"

"She may have been caught on something in the river when she bathed." Bringing back his hand, the older man sighed. "I have removed the infection and sealed the wound. She may need a few minutes to regain her strength."

"You and Cara go on ahead of us. When she wakes up, we'll catch up to you."

"Richard-"

"I won't leave her here, Zedd. Go, you know the way and we'll follow your trail."

"If you haven't reached us by dark, we will come back for you."

Richard grinned widely, slapping his grandfather lightly on the shoulder. "I'd hope so."

Kahlan awoke with a jump, searching the area as she sat forward. He was sitting beside her, his hands ready to stable her as she took a moment to breath. The others had been gone over an hour and he was beginning to wonder if she had needed more from the wizard.

"How long did I sleep?"

"A few hours. I wasn't sure you were going to wake up. Zedd healed the cut." Her hand reached to her stomach, the exact spot she had been bleeding from, telling him that she had indeed known about it. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to slow us down. We're so close to finding the stone."

"What happened?"

Looking away from him, she frowned. "There was a baneling by the river."

"Kahlan-"

"I was fine, Richard. I killed him and came back."

Shaking his head, he touched her stomach and pushed. "You weren't fine, Kahlan. I could have- We could have lost you!"

Ignoring his words, she looked around them. "Where are they?"

"I told them to go ahead of us."

"You didn't have to stay."

"I wasn't going to leave you here, Kahlan. I would never go without you." Pushing away from him, she stumbled to her feet and looked around for her dress. Grabbing the white fabric off of the ground, she started to redress, but was forced to stop. "I had to get it off of you."

Throwing it into the small flames of the fire, Kahlan sighed in frustration. "We should hurry and catch them."

He bent down and lifted her dress out of the, now died out, flames. "Kahlan, I understand why you didn't tell them, but why didn't you tell me you were hurt?"

She turned, almost angrily, toward him and took a single step forward. "I do not have to report to you."

He started to move to her, but the hardened look in her eyes stopped him. "No," he agreed quietly. "You're right, but I thought we didn't have any secrets."

"We all have secrets."

"I don't. Not with you." Pushing her dress into his pack, he turned and began walking, never pausing for her to follow.

"What's wrong?"

Staring into the darkness, Kahlan shook her head to the old man's question. "Nothing."

"You two haven't spoken in hours and I don't think I've seen you two so far apart before."

"Isn't this what you've wanted?"

Sitting down, the wizard inched closer. "Kahlan-"

"I'm protecting him, Zedd."

"I know you would do anything to keep him safe, but I'm afraid this is not the best way."

"This is the only way." Meeting her friend's eyes, she frowned. "When he looks at me like that, I can't think straight. He shouldn't care so much about me, Zedd."

"We've told him, dear one. I believe it will take far more than this to change his mind. He's seen what you are capable of and it hasn't scared him away."

"It should."

Releasing a heavy sigh, he leaned closer. "It can't. He didn't know what you were when he met you. Kahlan, you allowed his feelings for you to grow before telling him the dangers. He cannot simply throw it away."

Staring out into the darkness, the brunette nodded slowly. "Neither can I. I'm not sure I'm doing the for him anymore. It hurts, Zedd."

"I know. Talk to him, it may help."

Meeting his eyes, she frowned. "If I tell him how I feel, it will only make things worse."

"It shouldn't keep you from trying."

"I can't-"

"Yes, you can. Go, he's gathering firewood, talk to him."

She saw him in the trees, no more than a few feet ahead of her, but she couldn't get her feet to move any closer. He was moving without pause, never once looking up in her direction, though she was sure he knew she was there. Her mind raced in every direction except the one she wanted it to. The taste of his kiss suddenly flooded her mouth, the memory of his embrace making her warmer by the second. She was almost panting as her desire for him grew wild around her body and demanded his presence. Turning away, she began walking as quickly as her legs would take her, not caring, in the slightest, where they took her.

Finding a darker area of trees, she shoved her back against a tree and slid down to the ground. The corset left some of her skin exposed to the bark, letting it scratch her as she pushed harder into it. The slight pain was welcome, giving her mind something else to fuel off of than the image it had of him laying above her. Shaking her head, she closed her eyes and took in a slow, deep breath. If the thoughts remained with her, she would never be strong enough to push him away.

Stretching out her legs, she prepared herself for another few minutes of silent turmoil, praying to the spirits that it would soon be over. He knew why she hadn't told him about the wound, but he wanted her to say it. If she said it aloud, their relationship would change, it would become more than it was and for her, it was already too much. She needed to protect him and not because he was the Seeker, but because she cared more about him than she did anyone. When she had been attacked by the baneling, she knew that there would be more coming and if they found him, their quest could come to an end.

Even now, she wasn't sure what had bothered her more, thinking he could have been killed or that the world would end without him. She wanted to think it was the latter, but her heart refused to believe.

"Zedd said you wanted to talk to me."

Her body stiffened for a minute, giving her a clear mind to feel the tears that fell down her face. Kahlan wiped them quickly, hoping he didn't see as he walked around her. "He is mistaken."

"That's what I told him. I'm going for a walk." She remained quiet and still as he began moving away, his eyes never coming to look at her directly. "You got what you wanted," he added after taking a few steps. Looking over his shoulder, he held a firm frown that saddened the rest of his features. "I will never push you again."

'I want you to.' She nearly shouted, catching herself instantly.

"You've been right this entire time. I'm foolish to have cared for you."

"And now you see," she replied through a whisper of pain that ripped open his skin. "A monster cannot be cared for."

"You're the only one who saw you that way."

"Until now." It was a simple answer, but spoken in a terrified voice.

He turned toward her completely, hating the trees for hiding her from the light of the moon. "I don't see you as a monster, Kahlan."

"Why not?"

"You don't need me to answer that." Before he knew it, he was stepping forward and without hesitation. "You're not a monster, Kahlan."

"You've seen my magic."

"And it should scare me, I know, but it doesn't." He kneeled down a few feet from her, neither of them knowing if they could handle anything more. "I've watched you confess men before and I- I've been confessed. I think about that, every day." She started to speak, but he continued too quickly. "I remember the way it feels, Kahlan, but it doesn't- it hasn't changed the way I feel about you. When I was confessed, I loved her as much as I've always loved you." He stood and turned away, making it easier for him to speak. "I know it frustrates you, I do, but each time you do this, shove me off of- You push me away and it doesn't make me hate you. I know it's what you want, but I don't. I can't. When I'm looking at you, I see the look in your eyes and I know that it hurts you more than it does me. I know you, Kahlan and I know that you would never hurt me."

"Richard-"

"You've had every chance to hurt me, but you hadn't. You won't." Taking another few steps, he paused for a moment and looked slightly over his shoulder at her. "I'm going to take that walk."

She waited a few hours before moving, waiting for the sting of the wind to grow wilder around her. Her hair stood on end, announcing the cold she felt. Coming to her feet, she started for their camp, but stopped herself after only a few steps. Richard hadn't passed her again and she couldn't keep her mind from wondering if he was alright. Turning on her heels, she began walking in the direction she had seen him go.

Reaching to the back of her shoulder, she pushed against the scrapes, stopping the small drops of blood from hitting the leather of her corset. His tracks were easy to follow, almost making her question if he had wanted her, at some point, to follow and find him. He hadn't gone as far as she thought, she found him no more than nine minutes from where she had started. He sat in the same position she had been in, his eyes closed.

"Did Zedd send you after me?"

"No." His eyes opened in confusion as she sat down next to him. "We both know what he would say if we didn't go back together."

"It wouldn't matter. He can't expect us to go back to the way it was before."

"Can we?"

"I don't know." Pulling up his legs, he crossed them before him and turned his head slightly to her. "I wouldn't think you'd want- I don't know if I can."

"Richard-"

"You can't tell someone you love them and then pretend it never happened."

"Why-"

"Because you can't make the feelings go away."

"I didn't want to hurt you."

He met her eyes with a nod. "I know, but you were right. It was the only way you could-"

"No it wasn't. Richard, I- it's not your feelings alone I was trying to change." She was staring down at the dirt, watching as a leaf landed smoothly. "I shouldn't feel this way, Richard. It's not safe for you."

"How can you say that? You would never hurt me, Kahlan."

"That's where you're wrong."

He turned, almost facing her completely. "I'm not wrong, Kahlan. Thinking about confessing me is not- You're not the only one who's thought about it. There have been times when I have wanted to grab your arm and be taken with the enemy."

"But you don't. You know what it would do to you."

He frowned as she looked into his eyes. He could see a light fog covering her eyes, hiding a bit of the blue in sadness. "That's not why I don't do it. Kahlan as much as I want to be with you, I could never do that to you. If you were to confess me, it would kill you. As many times as I've thought about it, it always comes back to that. I can't hurt you and I think that would be the deepest pain of all."

"Richard-"

"That is what's holding us back. We don't want to hurt the other in that kind of way, so we nick them with our knife. It hurts, but it's not the pain we could have."

"I'm sorry."

"No you're not," he said quietly, looking down to her hands while they twisted in her lap. "You want to protect me and we both know that you will do anything to keep me safe, even if it's from you. You're not sorry for having to do it."

Meeting his eyes, she swallowed her brains effort to convince her to run. "I'm sorry it hurts you."

He gave her a small smile, easing a portion of her disoriented body. "Me too." She continued to stare at him, her eyes seeming to be looking for something. "I'm not going to apologize for loving you," he added after a minute. "There are worse feelings I could have."

She chuckled at his words, her smile lightening his entire being. "I'm not sure I would agree."

He straightened his back with a quiet sigh, his eyes moving over her. "I'm afraid that not loving you would be a worse pain."

"You can't love me, Richard."

"Yes, I can. I do and I know that you feel the same way, I can see it in your eyes, in the sadness. We may not have the relationship that other people do, but Kahlan... It doesn't make what we have anything less."

She moved slowly, giving him a chance to pull away if he wanted to. Straddling his thighs, she pushed into him, their chests connected as they shared their breaths. "We can't have any of the things they can."

He leaned forward, grazing his lips against hers. "We have this."

"This can't give you a family."

He felt the weight of her words, it mixed with a pain he couldn't dissolve and with her eyes looking into his, it was stronger. "Maybe this is all we need."

Tears filled her eyes as she looked away. Pushing against his chest, she tried to move away, but he held her close. "And the day you wake up and realize you want- need more?"

He smiled in spite of himself, unable to keep it hidden as he voiced his thoughts. "Then I'll have to give you a daughter."

"Richard-"

"As Mother Confessor, it is your duty to give the world another and then maybe another."

She tried harder to move away, the thought he provided being more than painful. "We can never have children, Richard. You know that."

"You doubt the Seeker?"

A small smile snuck onto her lips before she could stop it. "I don't doubt you, Richard."

"But you don't think I can give you a daughter."

"No."

"Because you would confess me."

"Yes."

Rushing all of his fingers through her hair, he held her gaze and inched closer. "Try not to confess me."

She returned his kiss with hesitation, her hands taking hold of his shirt as he brought her closer. Feeling her caution, he trailed his lips over jaw and to her neck, sucking gently as her hands came to his hair. They had only done this a handful of times, but it had quickly become one of his favorite things. Her pulse quickened beneath his tongue, a quiet moan leaving her lips as his hands moved over the leather of her corset and over her shoulders. The contact of his hands on her skin pushed her onward, bringing her to pull his lips back to hers.

He took her action as permission to continue, his hold on her instantly tightening until their was no space between them. Pushing his tongue past her lips, he battled with hers until she surrendered without care. Richard fought his instincts to lean forward and bring her to the ground, knowing that the moment her back touched the cold ground, all reason would flood her mind and she would stop him. Keeping her close, he laid back and submitted himself to her.

Her hair danced around his face, tickling and comforting him at the same time. Slipping his hands beneath the fabric of her dark green skirt, he slowly traced up the length of her thighs, massaging gently as she pushed into him. He wanted more of her, his desire fueled to the maximum with each kiss. She felt him beneath her, his body craving for more without demanding. Breaking their kiss, she sat forward and inched back.

His heart pounded in his ears as he stared down at her hands, slowly pulling open the laces of his pants. Her name left his lips in a breathless whisper, a failed attempt to tell her she didn't have to continue, but she didn't stop her fingers. He grabbed her shoulders as her hand reached inside, bringing her eyes to meet his as her fingers wrapped around him. A gasp of pleasure left his lips as she tugged, watching him for directions he couldn't help but give.

Holding her gaze, he reached for her, needing more contact to keep from exploding from the moment. Without hesitation, she leaned down and reconnected their lips, moving her hand over him in rhythm with their mouths. His chest heaved beneath hers, his body trying desperately to hold on as he imagined more. Breaking their kiss for a gasp of air, he reached between them and stilled her hand, his eyes squeezed shut as she panted softly above him.

"Am I doing something wrong?"

"No," he managed to whisper before opening his eyes. "Spirits no, but Kahlan, you don't have to do this."

Confused and embarrassed, she released him and moved away, doing her best to avert her eyes. "I'm sorry."

He was on top of her within seconds, his lips pressed against hers as he lifted the bottom of her skirt. Her head jerked back as he touched her, her eyes opening wide to reveal the darkness of her magic as she gasped. She was more than ready for him, her body experiencing a pleasure she had never known.

"This may hurt you."

She managed a small nod before her eyes fell closed and her fingers began digging into his sides. He pushed forward, connecting them just slightly before rethinking. Flipping their positions, he grabbed her hips and slowly guided her onto him. They paused as a painful moan softly left her lips, Richard trying his best to keep from taking over and tearing through her. She didn't stop as he thought she was going to, instead, she shifted her legs and allowed him to fill her completely.

His head pushed back into the ground, her name on his tongue. Kahlan tried to remain still, her body beginning to act on instinct. Her breath warmed his neck as she struggled for air, afraid to lift her head and meet his eyes. Magic flooded through her, crying for release and threatening to let go without her. Her hips rolled slowly, so slowly, she wasn't sure she would make it through. He tightened his hold on her hips, his own rising slightly as she gasped in his ear.

Following his lead, she lifted herself and then met his hips again and again, the action driving her to continue without pause. Lifting her head, she grabbed his face and connected their lips, kissing him passionately until they had no other need. She bit his lip and he returned the favor, nipping hers just before sucking away the pain.

Breaking their kiss, Richard dug his fingers into her hip and gasped for air. "Kahlan, I- I can't hold on much longer."

Nudging her forehead and nose against his, the Mother Confessor nodded. "It's alright. What do you need?"

Her words were enough, but he refused to let it end that way. He was rougher than he intended, but she didn't seem to mind. Their mouths reconnected as he yanked her down, a united moan passing between them as he bruised her porcelain skin with his fingers. With his body shaking, he tried to provide her with more. Pushing one of his hands against her breast, he tried to grab hold through the leather, but found it nearly impossible. She smiled against his lips, her own hand coming to his to hold it in place as she gave her hips another roll.

Pushing his head back, he let go with a low growl and a series of spasms. Moving quickly, he rolled them to their sides and slipped from her warmth. Breathing heavily, he tried to keep her in his arms, but she wouldn't allow it. He watched as she fixed her skirt and then paused, her head turning to look at him. Without hesitation, she began removing her corset and within seconds, she laid down beside him and pulled at his shirt until he pulled it over his head. He was still breathing through gasps and the sudden connection of their chests did nothing to help him.

He knew what she wanted and without pause, he tried to give it to her. He moved his hands over her back, bringing her closer while their lips found each others once again. They clung to each other as they kissed frantically, neither caring about anything other than the feel of their embrace.

"Richard," she panted after several minutes. "We have to get back."

"I don't want to let go of you."

"They can't find us like this."

Bringing back his head, he grinned and met her eyes. "They wanted us to make up." He wiped his thumb beneath her bottom lip, removing some of the blood that had come from his bite.

"Richard..."

"The minute we move, we have to pretend this never happened, don't we?"

"They can't know."

"It's fighting you right now, isn't it? Your magic wants to be freed."

"I-"

"I know, Kahlan. You would never confess me, but I see the struggle in your eyes and it's hard on you. It's taking almost everything you have to hold on, your- your nose is starting to bleed."

She sat forward and turned away from him, wiping her face quickly. "I'm sorry."

"Do you want me to help you with the corset?"

"Yes, please, but I think I need a few moments to control myself."

"Take all of the time you need. I'll still be here."

There was a few minutes of near silence, the only sound was the deep breaths coming from her lips as she tried to gain full control of her magic. She knew how close she had been, how thin the rope had been for her to hold onto, but as the magic flowed through her blood, settling at her fingertips; threatening to destroy anything she touched, she hated herself for putting him in danger. He didn't touch her and she knew why, but a part of her wished he would because it was the only thing she could think of that would comfort her. No matter how bad things seemed to get, a single touch from him was more than enough to ease away it all. He had a way with people, but with her, she felt like he was the only one who could make her feel safe just by being near.

"Kahlan, are you alright?"

"Nearly."

He came to her side quietly, wrapping his right arm around her shoulder. "You're shaking."

"If I release it, Cara and Zedd will feel it."

"I'll tell them you were trying to scare me." He smiled as she met his eyes in a sadness. "We fought, words were exchanged, I hit you..." Touching his left index finger to her lip, he frowned for a moment.

"And I hit you back?" she questioned with a growing smile of her own.

"And just to make your point, you released your magic into the night air."

"There's a problem with your plan."

"What?"

"You would never hit me."

"I was angry."

She chuckled and reached for her corset. "They would never believe it. We will have to come up with a different story to tell."

"We made up and lost ourselves for a moment."

Turning away from him, she pulled the straps of her corset over her shoulders. "Will you help me?"

His hands circled her waist, pulling her back to his chest as his lips came to her shoulder. She didn't stop him, though he was sure the thought came to her mind as his fingers slipped beneath her leather and came to her breasts. Tilting her head to the side, Kahlan granted him more access with a long moan. His name left her lips in warning, bringing his actions to a slow stop.

"I'm sorry."

He smiled into the skin of her shoulder and tightened his hold on her. "Me too. I didn't want to stop."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know." Giving her a final kiss, he brought his hands to the lacing of her corset. "I won't guarantee this will be done correctly. I don't see how you have..." He was pulling at it in confusion, trying to understand how it had been done before.

"Start at the top and cross down."

"It seemed easier when you removed it."

"It is," she laughed. "Sometimes, when I know we're going to be passing by a river or lake, I ask Cara not to knot it at the bottom. One pull and it falls-"

He tied a small bow at the bottom of her corset and wrapped his arms around her. "I'll have to remember that."

"Richard..."

"They don't have to know, Kahlan. We haven't done anything wrong."

"We can't-" She took a step forward and crossed her arms as she turned toward him. "We can't do this again. Richard, we can't fool ourselves into thinking we can have this life. I'm a Confessor, I- As much as I would give to be able to give you-"

"Answer one question, Kahlan and I will do what you want and pretend this didn't happen."

"Alright. What's your question?"

"If we could have that life, would you take it with me?"

She straightened her back as she took in a breath and smiled weakly. "Without hesitation."

He kissed her at once, but quickly pulled back, doing his best not to upset her. "I promise to give that life to you. Someday Kahlan, I'll be yours."