Dying Flame
Strange how there is always a little more inncocence left to lose.
(Outsider)
They were young and they were invincible – until they fell.
In school it seemed like a great adventure: a secret Order, an easy chance to make their life mean something. So when the call came, they traded their golden futures for a few moments of false glory.
It was like a fire and, oh yes, they were seen, but they burned, bright and hot, and their flight was short and hurt far more than it was ever worth it.
They were meant to be glorious, but in the end they were everything but. They were children, waving around their weapons like new-found toys, acting brave and being so very oblivious to their world falling apart.
How could they not win?, they asked. And when the last of them was lowered in a cold, too-early grave, that question was still unanswered (and not all of them died, but sometimes living is worse than death, and seeing that their sacrifices were in vain, they almost wished they had, for what had they done to deserve seeing their world burn down twice?)
They all dealt with bad news and bitter realizations in their own way, keeping their heads held high and their minds ready for the next blow. And they all believed in something to keep them sane.
(And they wouldn't admit that they were terrified, for they were young, invincible.)
i
Marlene used that perfect red mouth of hers to laugh and curse and joke.
She was beautiful and she didn't give a damn. The scars edged into her skin made her proud, because they showed that she had fought and won (she could never admit that every scar showed a lost battle, too, for then her picture-perfect mask would shatter and what would be left of her without it?)
She danced in battle, looking like a queen of old, her skin glowing, a burning fire in her eyes.
She didn't hesitate and she didn't pity, slashing and dodging as if she'd never done anything else.
As if she hadn't been a little girl once, with blonde pigtails, sitting on her father's knees, begging for just one more story, another hero's tale (only now did she know that heroes were but broken men, broken wings and broken hearts.)
As if she hadn't been a dressed-up teenager once, sneaking to the Astronomy Tower after curfew to see some boy she was undyingly in love with (but she couldn't love anymore, now that caring meant getting hurt.)
As if she hadn't been afraid of darkness before everything around them became dark.
(Now she just didn't care because she was stubborn above anything else, and she wouldn't give up.)
She laughed when Lily scolded Sirius for bringing her cigarettes, not knowing that she had been the one to give him his first (because they were something to hold on to).
When the boys bet she couldn't empty that bottle of Odgen's finest, she proved them wrong (how couldn't they know that the burning liquid was so much better than hurting from within, and who wouldn't want some sweet hours of oblivion, afterwards?)
She was the perfect partner for Black, mocking their enemies on the battlefield (to silence the screams rising in their throats), and clinging onto each other at night while pretending to do everything but (he understood, because he was just as messed up).
They didn't love each other and she wasn't sure she could. But he was there and nothing else mattered (for she never believed in invincibility).
She was young and she knew she would die, so she laughed and cursed and joked, because she wouldn't go down broken.
(Only in the end she did, for her family was all that still mattered and it just wasn't fair that they had to share her fate, for they never chose to die like she did.)
Next up: Benjy
Hope you liked it. If so - or not - tell me.