A/N- This was origninally supposed to be a FEM!Sam story, but much like Reality Check as the story started unfolding, it kind of came out Male!Sam.

Chapter One

Feeling had left every limb of his body leaving him sluggish and unwilling to further fight his fate. It was so cold. He had thought at the beginning he would be strong enough, that he could endure but he knew now that he was spent. How long had it been? Hours, Days? Not that he could tell. All he knew now was the despairing cold, and the sweet promise of sleep.

"Sam!"

A voice sounded very far away, and he attempted to place the face the voice belonged to. All his sluggish mind could conjure up was love-filled vibrant eyes. A shock of hair came next framing a familiar face that drew out line by line in his head. Then a name. Dean.

The voice called again and Sam tried to respond but just like his limbs his lips barely moved. All that came out was a weak groan. Maybe this was just wishful thinking? Dean wasn't actually here. This was just his mind trying to give the boy what he wanted. His big brother.

Dean had always been there. Dean helped him with his homework, and Dean made sure he ate; even if he had to steal. Dean comforted him when he was sick or scared. Soon all his thoughts were the name Dean repeated almost like a mantra.

He even felt the familiar warm, calloused hands on his face.

"Sam! Hey, it's okay. I'm here."

Sam peeked his eyes opened after a long struggle. It was Dean. He was there. Everything was okay. He could let go now.

xxxOOOxxx

It had been a long two hours. The plant was huge and when Sam simply disappeared Dean hadn't known where to start.

Despite this being Sam's first hunt, his father had the family split up. This place is too big. It would be better if we split into two and searched. So the teams were made. Sam and Dean checking the perimeter, and John and his huge ego starting on the main office building. Dean wasn't quite down with the plan. Already this spirit had dropped two bodies in one week, and before that six in a period of two months. Each body had been found in horrible manners. Their death had been torturous and slow. But John was adamant. It was a simple salt and burn. Find the body and burn it. The end.

Even though Sam was amazing with guns, blades, and of course his large nerd brain Dean couldn't help but think he wasn't quite ready yet. Hunting just wasn't going out there and killing the monster. There was so much that could go wrong from stupidly tripping and scraping your knee, to bleeding out and dying; and instinct had a large way to go to avoid the worst of the problems. Something Sam didn't have quite yet.

So when Sam went MIA after being behind Dean just a split second ago Dean felt scared. Ignoring the chilled rain Dean rushed around checking the surround area, all the while screaming his brother's name till he was hoarse. When it was clear Sam was nowhere near, Dean picked up the phone and dialed his father.

"Plan hasn't changed." His father barked after hearing his son tell him what had happened. "Find the body and burn it."

The boy's mind went directly to the eight dead bodies and the different types of torture they endured before death. His mind went particularly to the girl who had been strung up. The rope had been positioned strategicly so as to ensure she didn't die immediately. Coroner said she died after being strung up for thirty minutes. "Are you kidding me?!" Dean clenched his hand tighter around the rifle. "Sam is out there with the spirit right now."

"Exactly. No ghost, no danger. So we're taking out the threat and finding your brother."

Dean got the thought process. It made sense; but it also pissed him off too. Everything about what his father said pissed him off. Sam was in danger. His son was in danger. Maybe he was just trying to remain calm and not think of the possibilities, but to label Sam in this instance as Dean's brother and not his own son was crap. "No, you find the body and burn it. I'm finding my brother." He hung up when his father was mid way growling out his name.

It took an hour and a half. It took 90 heart-stopping minutes, for him to finally locate his brother. Steve- Stan, whatever this stupid spirits name was had put his little brother inside a cooler with the cold cranked up the furthest it could go.

Already damp from the rain outside it had turned his little brother into a mess. A mess that had seemed to stop shivering; not good at all. Dean placed two fingers on his brother's cold wrist and felt his heart still as he waited for a single pump from Sam's. It took a while but finally Dean felt the pulse of blood and he was able to breathe. "Sam! Hey Sam!" He gently patted at Sam's face and heard his brother moan. "Sam! Hey it's okay. I'm here."

Sam's eyelids fluttered up gazing sleepily at his brother. Dean wanted to start crying at the sight of his hazel eyes. They didn't hold the usual intelligence that Dean was used to but Dean would take what he could get. Upon seeing his brother Sam's body went slack and his eyes shut again.

"No! No, Sammy. I need you to stay awake. Come on Runt, open your eyes." This time his brother didn't come around. He still had a pulse, though sluggish, and his breath puffed out slow and steady. He needed to get out of the cooler and warm, now. Dean had his brother in his arms and out of the cooler quickly. He didn't want to risk getting caught inside it as well. Then there would be no helping him. Then Dean had Sam out of his damp hoodie and t-shirt and shrugged off his own jacket.

When Sam was zipped up in Dean's warmer jacket, Dean pulled out his phone again. There were two calls. No doubt his father getting after him for his disobedience. Dean scooped up his brother and held him close the gun close by in case their friend decided to stop by and check on his human Popsicle. Using his other hand he dialed his father's number again and didn't even have to wait for it to ring.

"Damn it, Dean! I called you twice. You pick up when I call." His father was beyond mad. Good soldiers don't disobey orders.

"I found him." Dean tucked his brother's head under his chin, dislodging a few chips of ice that had formed in his brother's damp hair. "I found Sam." Dean wasn't sure why he needed to repeat the phrase, but he did. "Bastard stuck him in the cooler. He's not shivering anymore."

John let out a string of curses. "I've found the body already. He's been burned. Which building are you in?"

"I've got him. Just meet me at the car." Dean was already scooping up his brother in his arms. He wasn't going to wait for his father to find them. His mind ran through the amount of blankets they had in the trunk. "If you beat me there then start up the heat in Baby, and pull out any blankets we have in the back." This time it was his father who hung up first hopefully on a mad run back to the Impala.

Dean sat there for a second feeling his baby brother slowly puff out breath onto his neck. It came too close. He never wanted to feel like this ever again.

xxxOOOxxx

He hadn't bothered listening to his father bake up a lie for the doctors, then later the clueless police. All Dean's mind slipped too was the memory of the nurses swarming over his brother, strapping on the breathing apparatus, and rushing the still form through the double doors and out of Dean's sight. He didn't want to think about it, but everything that could happen ran through his head. He thought about the organs that could have stopped working. He thought about the doctor screwing up in an emergency surgery and his baby brother bleeding out. He thought about what would have happened if he'd followed his father's orders. What state would his brother have been in then? Would he be alive?

His hand without much thought slipped into his pocket and the next second had Bobby's number dialed onto the glowing screen. Dean hesitated his thumb over the button that would complete the call. He allowed his eyes to drift over to his father standing with the police his arms crossed, and his face a mask. The button was pressed and Dean found himself standing up and slipping out the doors of the hospital without his father even taking notice.

It took two rings, but Bobby picked up; grumpy per usual. "Who is this?"

Dean inhaled a shaky breath. "Bobby?"

"Dean? What's wrong, boy?" Bobby's voice softened at the broken tone his name had been spoken. He knew the Winchester boys like the back of his hand, and something was defiantly wrong. Especially if he was getting a call this early in the morning.

The story tumbled out. His brother disappearing, his father's orders being broken, finding his brother, then the hospital. Dean could already hear the sound of a bag being packed and keys jingling in the receiving end of his phone as he spoke.

"How is your brother now?" Bobby asked when Dean finally finished.

"I don't know…" Dean's voice caught at the end and he wiped away moisture in his eyes. "They took him through the doors. I tried to follow- What if Sam is dying? It would be my fault Bobby. I would have killed him. What do I do if he doesn't make it?"

The background noise stopped on Bobby's end. "Ease up boy. None of this is your fault." He cut off Dean's protest. "I said, NONE of this is your fault. Your fool daddy never should have split you guys up. Sam never should have gone on this hunt in the first place." Bobby collected himself. "And he'll be fine. You and your brother are both too stubborn to die."

Dean didn't say anything.

"Think about it boy. Would your brother ever give up?" Bobby thought back to the last call he'd gotten from John just a few days ago, and catalogued the place. If they had gone to the nearest hospital it would only be an hour drive for him.

"No…" Dean thought back to the stubborn, bull headed kid brother who would butt heads with his rule driven father. If Sam could stand up to his marine father then he would be fine. He wouldn't go down today. "No, you're right. He's too stubborn."

Bobby was already locking up his home. "Right, so you need to stay strong too. You both are going to come out of this okay. I don't have a doubt in my mind." Bobby didn't bother taking the stairs he simply jumped off the porch and rushed to his truck. "I think I know where you are, but confirm it with me. What hospital are you boys at?"

"You don't have to-"

"I know I don't. Where are you boys at?"

Dean felt a weight lift off his chest. He glanced at the illuminated sign near the door and rattled off the name.

"Okay, I can be there in an hour."

"Thank you, Bobby."

"That's what I'm here for boy."

Dean went back in after the call was cut off and sank into the uncomfortable plastic chairs. Time blurred as his stare remained on the double doors his brother had disappeared through. Every time the door would open he'd sit up until he'd realize that they weren't headed towards him with news on his brother. He watched from the corner of his eye as his father paced the room. In different intervals his dad would leave and return with a coffee, and have his hand slip inside his jacket pocket and come out with his worn flask. Although Dean didn't need to see the contents of the flask get poured into the coffee. While John wasn't a violent drunk he did rely too heavily on the alcohol to get past his troubles.

Both Winchester's stayed a good distance away from each other. While they had worked well together putting Sam in a cocoon of blankets and steaming up the inside of now Dean's Baby, the fighting had happened immediately after. John kept his foot heavy on the pedal while he berated Dean with harsh words about following orders, and repeating over and over that he could have been killed while he was running around panicked. Dean who usually just took the words in stride couldn't. He shot back telling his father he was cold and calloused when on hunts, and that family always should come first. By the time they had reached the hospital John had been finished. He locked himself and his words away, unless someone other than Dean spoke with him of course.

About an hour later Dean had resorted to bouncing his knee worriedly and clutching a rapidly cooling coffee that he was fairly certain an attractive nurse had pressed into his hands somewhere in that time. He only startled when he heard his name being called. At first his eyes darted towards the hospital doors but there was no one there. His name was called again. This time closer and softer, and then a hand landed on his slumped over shoulder.

There standing behind him was Bobby singer, looking haphazardly put together but so wonderful to Dean at the time. The coffee tumbled from Dean's hand and spilled to the ground as he shot out of his seat and circled Bobby in a hug.

"God, Bobby. It's been an hour and I've heard nothing." Trying to keep his emotions in check Dean pressed his face into Bobby's chest. "I don't know what's going on."

"Hey now. That's enough panicking from you. I have no doubt Sammy'll pull through but you gotta believe in him too."

"Family of Sam Winchester?"

Dean broke off the hug and turned around quickly at the sight of a petite Hispanic woman wearing a white coat. The sudden movement had the doctor walking towards the pair. "Are you Sam Winchester's father and brother?"

Dean nodded hastily, and John lunged out of his chair and shoved Bobby away. "Sam, my son. Is he okay?"

The doctor looked uncertainly at Bobby. "Is he family as well?"

"My uncle." Dean bit out before John could have Bobby removed from the situation. "Bobby is my Uncle. Now is Sam okay?"

The doctor continued. "Sam's doing fine. He's resting right now. Unfortunately he's going to be out of it for a little, and require a lot of rest in the days coming. Currently we have on oxygen and warm fluids."

Dean's eyes widened. "Can we see him?"

"Right now we're setting him up in his room, but I'll have one of my nurses bring you up when he's situated."

The next ten minutes were the longest Dean could recall waiting. The ticking of the clock seemed to echo off the walls almost mocking the boy at how slow time was going. When a man in blue scrubs finally stepped into the room to escort the men to the room Dean was ready to start singing halleluiah. The man stopped at a door on the second floor and gave the three a warning about the machines that would be hooked up to the boy.

And he hadn't lied.

Sam was a small boy to begin with, but he looked so much smaller amongst the machines they had around him. Dean wordlessly slipped into the chair next to the bed and took his little brother's hand, careful to avoid ripping out any IV's. Bobby and John remained outside stopped by the doctor as she further explained Sam's state. While Dean was concerned about whatever the doctor was saying he wasn't about to leave Sam. He'd get the information whenever they stepped in.

"Hey, Sammy." Dean kept a hold on his brother's hand and using his other to sweep damp bangs away from his face. "You're going to be fine. Just next time I'm going to attach a rope to your waist and drag you along behind me. Or we could get one of those stupid kid leashes. I'll make sure the animal is a dog." His smile didn't last. "God, I'm sorry runt. I should have never taken my eyes off of you." Dean choked back a very unmanly cry and wiped at suspicious moisture collecting in his eyes. "Have I ever told you about Hailey-" He paused. "I think her last name was Johnson. Oh but man was she flexible." Dean went regaling an unconscious Sam about one of his horribly failed dates when the door opened and shut gently. Dean glanced over and allowed the story to die down as he met Bobby's concerned gaze.

"You doing okay, boy?" The older man didn't miss Dean gaze drift past him noting the absence of his father.

Dean's hand continued to card softly through Sam's hair, but he kept his eyes on Bobby. "He's alive. Can't ask for more. What did the doctor say?"

"I'm not going to sugar coat it, son. Sam suffered a seizure and nearly stopped breathing while they were starting to warm him up." He cupped Dean's shoulder when the boy shut his eyes tightly. "He'll be fine though. She doesn't foresee any complications. He'll make a full recovery."

"A seizure? I should have found him faster Bobby. He had been missing two hours. It took me two hours to find him while he was in a cooler." Dean pressed his forehead into his brother's still shoulder. "I failed him Bobby."

"Now that is enough." Bobby growled. "You did not fail your brother. You saved Sam. Even after your dad gave you a direct order. If you hadn't gone to look for Sam when you did-" Bobby cut off at the consequence of the action. "You care so much for him, and he loves you back just as much."

Dean smiled warmly his expression hidden. "I know. Sometimes it's not like he's my brother but-"

Dean stopped at the final word but Bobby knew exactly where he was going. Sam was almost his son. The one who had consistently been to every stupid elementary school play, who had seen the boy cross stages to receive dumb little awards like perfect attendance, or read winning essays, was Dean. The one who had tended to a fevered, sick, vomiting Sam, and hold back his long hair, was Dean. The one who always made sure that there was enough food on the younger boy's plate, even if it meant he went hungry, was Dean. Dean for all intents and purposes was Sam's father. John may have been the gene donor, but Dean was the one who cared and loved Sam like nothing else.

It broke the man's heart to hear the sixteen year old sound so serious. It wasn't supposed to be on the boy to be the parent of his younger brother. John should have been there more for his boys. Dean should be out hanging with friends. Hell, he'd settle for Dean sneaking away and going to a party with alcohol. Trouble that a normal teenager ran into. Then there was the constant traveling and hunting. The way the boys lives were going now their regular homes were cockroach infested motel and hospital rooms. He'd defiantly have to have a word with John later when everything had calmed, and undoubtedly the Winchester's were resting up at Casa de Bobby.

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