Chapter 1: Master's Idea

Hello there, peoples! I was really bored and thought of this for some strange reason. Since Nintendo's lawyers are holding a gun to my head, I'd better say that I own nothing except my OC's (If I include any). Now, put the gun down so I can write in peace. Thank you. Roll chapter.

Master Hand was in a bad mood. Nothing was going right, the bills for food (Kirby, Yoshi, and Pikachu's fault) and electricity (Marth, Peach, Zelda, Falcon, and Wolf) were through the roof. He needed a dang vacation. Even now, the Brawlers were racing around, lighting things on fire, eating, fighting, and being idiots. Wolf, Fox, and Falco were racing around in their ships, blasting each other if they came too close. Roy, tired of all the swordsmen, was trying to teach of them to fight well. So far, only Ganondorf, Meta-Knight, and Link were any good. Captain Falcon took a break from racing and currently wasting power upgrading the Blue Falcon with power tools Pichu gave him for Christmas.

Just as Master was considering rationing the electricity and food, in popped Link. "What?!" the enormous glove demanded. Link scratched his head. He hated talking with Master: it made him nervous to be around a giant floating glove that reminded him somehow of Bongo-Bongo.

"Master, umm . . . do you need a vacation?" he asked hesitantly. On Master Hand's invisible forehead, a vein began to pulse.

"Are you willing to take over for me?" the elder Hand inquired, barely concealing his desire to beat the hell out of the Hero of Time. Link paled at the thought of all that paperwork.

"Uhhh . . . no, I was thinking . . . everybody's bored, and, uh . . . you could, well, you could keep us all occupied by enlisting in a sport or something, you know, safe for the kids and stuff, and uh . . ."

"BRILLIANT!" the Hand seized Link and squeezed tightly, his attempt at a hug, and raced out the door. "EVERYBODY, FRONT AND CENTER!"

Link blinked (rhyme!). "Uh, that went well."

"All right you useless excuses for skin, PAY ATTENTION!" Master floated onstage into the deathly quiet. Almost deathly quiet. "Wolf O'Donnell put away that damn phone before I beat you to death with it!"

Wolf hastily put away the iPhone and pretended to be listening. "Good. We are going to play a little game. And before you ask," he added, seeing Bowser, Mewtwo, Meta-Knight, Ganondorf, and a handful of others raise their hands, "participation is mandatory. If you don't, I'll make you babysit my brother and clean out the basement."

"I don't actually mind your brother," replied Ganondorf. He was the version from OOT, because Master Hand hated the TP counterpart (and so does the author). OOT Ganondorf wasn't half as rude and rude as TP version.

Master Hand scowled (if it's possible). "Dang you, Ganondork. Uh, I'll make you . . . uh . . . uh . . . I don't know, you still have to play."

"Dammit."

"SHUT UP!" Master took a few deep breaths to calm down and continued in a tone of forced composedness. "This is a fairly easy game; you will all be separated into teams, Red Team, Blue Team, and Green Team. Each person will be given 'guns' that, when shot, 'kill' you enemies. In reality, they vanish from the playing field and reappear in a room where they can watch their friends and opponents at leisure. Each team is also given a flag. If one team steals another's flag and takes it back to home base, they win a point and the stolen-from team's base vanishes. For example, if Green Team takes Red Team's flag back to base, Red's base is gone, and anyone in it has to flee in order to survive. They can either try to take down as many as they can, quit and be 'executed', be taken prisoner, or attempt to run away to the 'border,' like the border in a country. If they want to do so, they have to get rid of all their weaponry and anything given to them at the beginning to go forward."

"So we'd be like, fleeing civilians?" asked Ness.

"Except anyone, and I mean anyone, can catch you easily. Cloaking devices, Grappling Hook-like things, 'grenades,' vehicles, and a twenty strong Wire Frame army will be hard to evade. But, you'll be able to know if anyone's been around, because each shot that misses will leave a splash of correspondingly-colored paint."

"Does anyone have the feeling that we're doomed?" muttered Bowser out of the corner of his mouth. Marth nodded gravely.

"Very dead," he said. More rhymes!

"So, uh, we get vehicles, 'grenades' to 'kill' our enemies, guns, Cloaking Devices, Grappling Hooks . . . Probably full military-like gear too, right?" asked Mario, ticking the things off on his fingers.

"Camouflage," admitted Master. "Or whatever you want to wear. Samus is forbidden from wearing her suit; the boys can't use their ships, limited magic for Zelda, Ness, Lucas, and any of you other peoples. Mewtwo's powers will also be limited, a lot. Is that all?" there were scattered nods. "One more thing. If you want a particular person on your team, write their name and a small explanation on a card and turn it in by tomorrow. That is all. Get LOST!"

Roy grinned, putting the finishing touches on his letter. He had asked to have Link and Marth on his team, his two best friends in the entire Mansion. Marth was funny and Link was an excellent swordsman and hunter; he'd be essential to the entire project.

"Hey Roy," called Link. He too held a letter in his hand. "Just finished. Who'd you ask for?"

"You and Marth," the pyro replied promptly. "You?"

"Zelda," admitted Link sheepishly. "And you, Marth, and Ike. I don't have a crush on her or anything, I love her like a sister and I don't want her on the same side as Ganondorf or Bowser. I bet Mario feels the same way."

"About what?" Mario had come from the opposite end of the hallway. "I asked for Peach to be on my team, away from Bowser," he explained to Link's questioning look. "I don't want her hurt."

"I feel the same way about Zelda."

"I see." Mario pondered a moment. "We can only hope that, if they are put on the same team as our adversaries, nothing happens. Relationships have settled between Bowser and I, but . . . in such a game, who knows what will go wrong?"

Alone in the room she shared with Peach and Samus, Zelda began to write a letter to Master Hand.

Dear Master,
This might sound strange, but I'd actually like Ganondorf on my team. Link is extremely overprotective of me, and I actually believe what you told us about Ganondorf's condition. He's a great fighter and probably experienced in something like this. Please don't put Link on my team, and don't tell him I wrote this to you.
Thank you,
Zelda

She sealed the letter and crept out the window as Sheik, climbing on balconies and open-air walkways down to Master Hand's office.

Master Hand looked over the notes he received that night.

Dear Master Hand,
I WANT NESS ON MY TEAM BECAUSE HE'S AWESOME!
Thanks,
Lucas

Master,
Whatever you do, don't put Lucario and Mewtwo on the same team. They'll kill each other.
Roy (Learned from experience)

Mazter Hand,
Like my new way of spelling your name? Anyway, I'd really like it if Fox was on the opposite team. We're already opponents; I don't want to work with him.
Wolf

DON'T PUT ME WITH WOLF!
Peace,
Fox

Master,
You might want to consider checking Snake's pockets for any unwanted "tricks" before he enters the game. Just warning you so nobody blows up.
Sincerely,
Marth

"Definitely some changes to make," muttered the giant hand. "Hmm . . . she goes here, he goes there . . ."

Master Hand was up all night making changes to the list, while Crazy Hand snored in a corner of the room, curled up in an oversized dog basket.

So, should I continue this or delete it, folks? And also, if you've noticed a lot of Ganondorf cropping up in this, I plan on featuring him, Bowser, Mewtwo, and a couple others that everyone else seems to ignore more often. I try to be equal. It's hard.
Zelda: Suggestions and reviews are great, folks. Whom would YOU like on each team? Some requests will be granted, not all, sorry.
Don't hurt me for saying that, people. Thanks, and be sure to review!