Mary-Sue: (n) a made up female character by another author of a fanfic that is seen as perfect. Usually has some tragic or perfect past and is seen, or will be seen, by exceptional beauty. Afterwards each character in the story, wether they are cute, innocent, evil, cold, hot, or etc. will fall madly in love with her.
Fanfic: (n) a story of any cartoon, movie, TV show, etc. written by fans of that subject
Fangirl: (n or v) a girl that is a major fan, sometimes obsessed, of a person, place or thing. Tends to get crazy, scary, or get VERY hyper and happy when they see what they love.
Yaoi: (n or v) a fanfic term mostly used by fangirls. The maleXmale relationship in a fanfic. Has been known to sometimes beat the power of a Mary-Sue
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Kiraracutie: sitting on a stool on stage with a TV screen behind her hello, this is KC reporting from inside the studio with a special TV show this week.
WHEN MARY-SUES ATTACK
KC: Tke and I have finally gotten an urge to get them AWAY from our Beyblade boys so we went ahead and made a TV show to lure these "perfect girls" in. We will now go to Tysonkaiexperiment out in the field. Turns to screen behind her Tke, Tke can you hear me?
Tke: is shown on the screen KC, I am here.
KC: All right, we'll go straight to the action, who's with you?
Tke: our first victim… goes silent at the cough in the background
KC? Tke?
Tke: -our first assistant is…
DRUM ROLL
Camera: Looks toward the guest
Tke: THAT SEXY, RICH, BISHOUNEN, HIWATARI KAI!
Camera: zooms in on Kai and he death glares it
KC: we now take a moment for Kai fan girls to squeal.
SHORT BREAK FOR KAI FANS, THERE IS SQUEALING AND SUCH HEARD
KC: so we back to normal? Okay, good. Now we will show you what happens when Mary Sues come to Kai without protection!
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Kai: walking down the street, minding his own business as usual
Girl: comes up running and latches onto Kai I'm so glad I found you, Kai!
Kai: stares at girl Who the fuck are you?
Girl: purrs you don't remember me! I'm Courtney! We grew up in the Abbey together and you protected me until Boris sent me to America and we never heard from each other again! The American abbey was bad too! I had to do so many training routines and such. Yet I could never forget you! So I snuck out in search to find you and low and behold, here I am!
Kai: O.o okay…
Courtney: aren't you happy to see me?
Kai: … um… starts looking very out of character let's go see a movie.
Courtney: All right! Kai you remember me! Cuddles Kai's arm and they head to the movies
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KC: Did you see that? Don't let Mary Sues ruin your favorite characters! Don't make them act not like themselves! That's not how you fell in love with them! SAVE THEM!
Tke: so energetic KC…
KC: glares what's wrong with being energetic?
Tke: nothing! Looks scared although not in building
KC: Glances back with a stern look on her face but we have a secret weapon against them.
Tke: yes!
Audience: THE POWER OF YAOI!
KC: yes, now we will put that yaoi into action in two different ways! The seme and uke ways!
Tke: We chose Tyson Kinomiya to be Kai's lover because… well, hell, we like the couple!
Tyka fans: CHEER!
KaRa fans: BOO!
Tyka fans: smirk that they are most in the room
KaRa: inch back slowly
NOISES IN THE BACKGROUND ARE HEARD AND IT DOESN'T SOUND PRETTY
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IF KAI HIWATARI WAS THE UKE IN A YAOI RELATIONSHIP
Kai: walking hand in hand with Tyson down the street
Courtney: runs up again and drapes herself all over Kai I've missed you Kai! I haven't seen you forever! She goes to cuddle but before she realizes it, she's on the floor
Tyson: arms protectively around Kai's waist, he's glaring, and Tyson gives her the "birdie" This is MY lover! Go find your own slut!
Courtney: stands up red from embarrassment and anger no one has EVER talked to me that way after I got that boob transplant!
Tyson: pulls Kai closer Go get your tits replanted, bitch.
Kai: watches Courtney run away that was close.
Tyson: seriously.
Kai: okay, I need a shower.
Tyson? O.o
Kai: all that talk about her gross ass tits made me feel sick.
Tyson: ditto.
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KC: … Sammi… you TAPED THAT?
Tke: I liked it. And now the seme part!
KC: mouth agape YOU TAPED THAT?
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IF KAI HIWATARI WAS THE SEME IN A YAOI RELATIONSHIP
Kai: walking hand in hand with Tyson down the street
Courtney: runs up, shoves Tyson out of the way and glomps Kai
Tyson: lands on the floor and just looks with big teary eyes
Courtney: Oh Kai! I'm sorry you had to put up with him! But I'm here now! Come into my bosom and cry-!
Kai: death glares her who the fuck are you, bitch!
Courtney: I know you don't remember me Kai, but it's okay-! Forget that ugly ass loser right there. Smirks as tears fall down Tyson's cheeks Let's make him pay-.
Kai: suddenly shoves her onto the floor Look bitch, NO ONE TALKS ABOUT MY KOI THAT WAY! I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU!
Courtney: Oh Kai love, I know you're just kidding-.
Kai: hits her so hard he knocks her out UNDERSTAND NOW, BITCH? Goes down to a teary-eyed Tyson I'm sorry Ty, are you all right? Reaches out to his shoulder
Tyson: flinches she's right Kai, I'm not good enough for you…
Kai: kisses him as all Tyka fans cheer You mean EVERYTHING to me Ty, even if you let go, I won't. All Tyka fans sigh and cheer Come on, let's go home. Reaches out
Tyson: smiles and grasps Kai's hand, they walk off in the sunset
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KC: o.O that was… mushy…
Tke: but so… GREAT!
KC: …
Tke: well KC, I leave it back to you at the studio.
TV: Turns off
KC: well, that was entertaining… turns back to studio audience You have just witnessed three of many ways a Mary Sue can attack you, but you have also learned how to defend you and/or your bishie. Don't let this happen to you, save yourself!
NEXT EPISODE: WE USE VICTIM RAY KON TO SHOCK MARY-SUES!
Matt: All viewing is for reviewers mostly. Reviewers receive cookies for watching. R & R!