A/N: Two things. One, I don't own Miley Cyrus/Stewart, Disney Channel, Hannah Montana, Lily Truscott, or whatever! I only own my creativity. Ha. Second thing: I know I've been starting a lot of stories but if I get a good idea, I at least post the first chapter so that I don't forget it. Call me stupid, but that's what I do. Don't read if you can't a) be patient or b) give me a couple ideas. Oh, wait, three things: When Lily and Miley or anybody is passing notes, Miley is always bolded and the other person is always italicized.
Lily and I filed into the auditorium, attempting to score back row seats for the assembly, which was unsurprisingly very popular. We got the best seats—the back row, the corner, and right behind the basketball teams (the tallest boys and girls in the county). There we could write notes to each other while our principal tried to bore us to death. Soon the lights dimmed slightly and the principal fumbled with the microphone, which emitted some feedback. The whole audience jumped. When he finally got control of his microphone, the assembly began.
The first part was relatively boring, including the usual things. Lily and I wrote notes during this.
This is the most boring assembly all year, I bet. What do you think, Lil?
I totally and completely agree—why can't we do something fun? How about we have a "Vote 4 Your Own Assembly" content? I mean, seriously, is a little fun too hard to—oh, my gosh, they just said your name! Well, kind of your name. You know, your-your name. If you catch my drift. Which you might not. But you should.
Lily, I understand. Seriously. Could you be any less subtle? But why would they say my name? Did you pick that up?
No, but I'll know in a sec…
Lily reached forward and tapped one of the basketball players. "Excuse me, but did they just say Hannah Montana?" she asked politely. The guy grunted like a caveman but nodded. Lily rolled her eyes, not even bothering to thank him. However, I freaked out. "Why is he talking about me?" Lily shrugged and we both listened to the principal.
"So as I was saying, this whole assembly was just an excuse so we could give you a huge surprise! Hannah Montana is coming to perform! I was just stalling you until we were prepared. The show will start in ten minutes. Right now you may talk quietly amongst yourselves." And he left the stage. People cheered, but probably because either a) they were about to see Hannah Montana or b) they really wanted him to leave.
Most likely a mixture.
Lily nudged me. "I didn't know Hannah was performing," she said, hinting. I shrugged nonchalantly. "Neither did I. But I'll just sneak back there and check it out. It's probably a huge misunderstanding and I can just call my dad, he'll bring over my wig discreetly, we'll temporarily postpone the show, and then it'll be all good," I whispered. Lily was being mulish. "Oh, yeah? Well what if somebody else is pretending to be you, huh?" she demanded. I rolled my eyes. "Lily, it's going to be alright. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom," I lied. I shot up and marched out the door that led to the backstage entrance and the restrooms. I grabbed some snacks out of my backpack (that we were asked to bring since the assembly would last until the finish of the school day) that were supposed to be for my club meeting after school. My members would understand. I tapped on the door to the backstage entrance and then tiptoed in. My principal was backstage talking with two people disguised by sweatshirts and hoods and hats. I shrugged. They were probably representatives Daddy had sent over to warn the principal that Hannah would be late (when I say Hannah I mean me!).
"Excuse me?" I interrupted meekly and as politely as I could manage. One of the hooded figures turned to glance at me and immediately ran into a portable dressing room (we have an incredibly large backstage). I shrugged off the insult and took a deep breath of bravery. "I have this snacks for you guys. But, I do have a price," I said craftily. The principal liked me a lot, and would basically do whatever I wished. "And what might that be, Miss Stewart?" the principal asked in fake formality. I smiled. "I want to see Hannah Montana for just one moment. I won't even talk to her or anything. I just want to be the first to see her," I pleaded, giving my best puppy dog pout. He grinned a large one. "Of course," he said to my shock and displeasure. "Why, let me fetch her." He disappeared and came back with the retreating hooded figure. "Miss Montana, this is Miss Stewart. Or Hannah, this is Miley. She's one of your fans. Would you like to meet her?" he asked kindly, as though speaking to a child with autism who needed gentle and over exaggerated words. A/N: No offense to any autistic people. What I'm implying could be using a different case of autism than you have. Please don't be insulted by it. "Hannah" shook her head violently.
The principal gave her a strict look and said, "But I want snacks!" and rudely snatched her attachable hood off of her head, revealing blonde hair. My blonde hair. My wig. My face. Me. Or was it me?
"Howdy, Myyyyllleee."
LUANNE!