He scanned the dimly lit bar finding a seat near the corner, selecting a spot that promised solitude. It was the usual routine. Pull out his wallet order the brown liquid with just enough kick to numb the pain, listening as the chunks of ice made a clinking noise inside the round glass. Take the first drink and trying to escape.
Taking a final sip from his first of many drinks to come, he closed his eyes and let it slide down his throat. The memory of her glided through his thoughts like a fleeting dream, all blonde and light, but for him all it brought was darkness. It was supposed to be epic, they were supposed to beat the odds, find a way but in the end it wasn't, it was just tragic.
He supposed he should count himself lucky. On again and then off again was getting kind of tiring. He laughed at himself as he thought of their relationship as the dance the Hokey Pokey, one foot in and then one foot out. His heart, however, didn't find any humor in it, as it was all the way in love with her and never believed lines of a song could force it out of love.
He was just about to wave the bartender for another drink when someone had the audacity to choose the seat beside him, breaking into his forced solitude. He tossed a glance in her direction noting her dark blonde hair and slender frame. She turned her gaze to him and it was like staring into a mirror. No, there was no physical resemblance, but the haunted expression was the one he had worn for days.
He twirled the empty glass watching the ice bounce off the glass. The debate was this – he could sit here and wallow in his own sorrow or he could force himself into a conversation. It was one of those moments in life, feeling that unknown force telling someone to open up, to release the pain and perhaps heal.
It wasn't like that with her, the one he loved. In a way she had always been there, it just took the right circumstances to find his way to her. God, he could still remember that first kiss, that first embrace. The puzzled look on both their faces as she parted from him and walked away, it followed him like a dark cloud. He should have known something that first day as she left him, she was always leaving him. Putting himself and his actions to a measuring stick, and no matter how hard he tried, he was always lacking. She seemed to forgive everyone but him.
"I know that look," he forced himself to say to the young woman beside him.
She turned to him and simply stared. Her gaze was so piercing he caught his breath. Big green eyes looked him up and down and then she turned back to the drink the bartender just sat down beside her.
Okay, he could take a hint. He lifted his glass to the bartender who quickly answered with another drink. Number two, and who knew how many would follow.
"What look is that," he heard her ask softly. She flipped her head back to him, a strand of her long wavy hair hiding part of her face. Hiding her fear, hiding her sorrow and hiding her heartbreak, just like him.
"The look of heartbreak," he said slowly. He put the glass of liqueur to his lips and took a long drink.
She lifted her lip up in a smirk and turned back to her drink. He could see it in her mannerisms; she saw his assessment as a pick-up line. If she only knew how far off she was.
"That wasn't a pick-up line," he told her as he sat the glass down on the bar.
"Who said it was?" Her tone was flippant but he could tell it was also guarded.
"I did," he told her.
She simply shook her head. She took the first sip of her drink and he watched her as she let the warm liquid take over.
"I just wanted to let you know I have been where you're at," he admitted. "Hell, I am still there."
"Right," she said taking another drink. "Again, great line."
"Try me." He challenged her.
"Alright," she said in a mocking tone as she twisted her seat to face him.
"Let's see if we match." She held up her hand in a fist. "First," she said as she held up her index finger. "I pushed the love of my life away because he asked me to marry him and I said someday which he thought meant never." She shook her head. "Second I totally fucked up my life in L.A. so I decided to run back to my little hometown thinking I could get my old life back. But you know what? It wasn't there."
He watched as a tear began to slide down her cheek. Man he understood more then she knew.
"I mean, the people I grew up were there," she continued. "Well, most of them were. And so was he and I had the reunion all mapped out in my head."
"So what happened?" He was intrigued now. Drawn in by the story.
"What I should have thought would happen." She put her head in her hands and he could hear her attempt to take a cleansing breath. "He looks at me and blurts out, even before I had the words hello out, I am with someone."
"Ouch," he said to her as she delivered the words.
"And I told people I was back to escape L.A. and to just be home." She brushed away a tear on her cheek. "But it was for him. I thought we had some epic love story and we would find our way back."
The word epic hit him square in the solar-plex. Yeah, he knew all about epic love and how it was all just a romantic lie.
"So, I am guessing from you sad state that you didn't find your way back to each other."
She shook her head no. "He is getting married tomorrow. End of epic love story."
"Sounds all to familiar," he told her. And he offered her a sardonic smile.
"What you are in love with a guy who is in love with another woman?"
"Close, but replace the guy with a girl and the other girl with a guy and you have my story."
"Really?" She was intrigued now.
"Let me guess." He waved his hands as if predicting the future. "You met in high school. You were from two different classes yet something brought you together."
"Wow, you are a mind reader." She placed her forearms on the bar and leaned in closer to him.
"Nope, I just told you I have seen that look." He stared at her. "Because I have the same one."
She felt comfortable with this man. They shared similar experiences, shared the same pain. She looked at him more closely. Tall thin frame with closely cropped brown hair, he was really attractive. Not in a brooding seductive way but subtle and calming. She thought about what would happen if she invited him to her hotel room across the street. Maybe meaningless sex would help ease the pain – after all her best friend swore by it. But first she felt she had to introduce herself, it just felt right.
"By the way," she began as she extended her hand. "I am Peyton Sawyer."
A moment of recognition flashed across his face. His eyes grew wide and he sat back in his chair.
"You have got to be kidding me," he said with a chuckle. "This is too weird." He held up both palms.
"What is it?" She was becoming concerned.
"You wouldn't be THE PEYTON SAWYER in the book "An Unkindness of Ravens" by Lucas Scott?"
That damned book, she thought to herself. Damn Lucas and his literary prose of their relationship. Would it haunt her forever?
He watched the emotions play across her face. She was so expressive. He knew her answer before she acknowledged who she was.
"What if I am," she answered defensively.
"You are going to find this strange but my name is Logan Echolls," he began. "I just bought the rights to turn Lucas Scott's book into a movie."
"Well, isn't that just perfect end to a real shitty day?" She lifted her glass and drained the remainder of her drink. "Hell, maybe the perfect year." Her comments oozed sarcasm and Logan almost laughed but saw the flash of pain in her eyes again.
"Let me guess," he said to change the subject from Lucas Scott's book. "You poured your heart out and got shot down." He pointed his finger like a gun and made a shooting sound.
"Murdered is more like it." She wrapped her arms around her shoulders as if to the shelter her self from the freezing out she got from the man she loved. "I told him I loved him and I came back for him and he told me he loved her and not me."
"Ouch." He reached out and brushed his hand down her arm. After he did it, he thought better of the gesture and she leaned back in her chair and tossed him a guarded expression.
"Sorry," just looked like you might need a little comforting.
"Thanks but no thanks." She pushed her glass near the edge of the bar and watched it as she glided it back and forth.
"So, what are you going do about all this?" He cocked his head and waited for her answer.
"Well, I think I am going to sit in this bar and get totally wasted," she said in a matter fo fact tone. "Then, when I have a nice buzz going, I might take you by the hand and ask you to have sex with me. How does that sound to you?"
God, how many times had he dreamed about a beautiful woman like her say she wanted no strings sex? He screw her and think about his epic love and no one would get hurt because neither one cared about the other. But he knew it would never happen. She loved Lucas Scott and he loved Veronica Mars. Yet here they sat in a bar in L.A. longing for their epic loves.
"If Lucas is getting married," he stopped himself. Maybe it wasn't Lucas, maybe the book was more fiction then truth. "It is Lucas, right."
"Who else?" She raised her hands and then dropped them in defeat.
"If Lucas is getting married tomorrow," he began again. "Then why are you here in L.A.? Why aren't you back in Tree Hill fighting for the one you love?" He had to know the answer. He wanted Peyton to say something prophetic because maybe, just maybe, it could motivate him to go and fight for Veronica.
"Because I have a huge deal here with a company about my record label and I told Lucas I would sacrifice my love for his happiness. For our friendship." She laid her head on the bar. "So, I thought I would get away from the wedding stuff and just focus on my business."
"Fuck that," he was angry with her for giving up. "I read that damn book. The guy who wrote that book doesn't marry anyone else but Peyton Sawyer. If no one else's love is epic, then it has to be yours."
"Get up girl." Logan jumped from his bar stool and grabbed her arm. Peyton pulled back.
"What are you doing?" She attempted to sit back down.
"Getting your ass in gear." He tugged on her again and started dragging her through the bar. "You are going home and you are going to get your epic love."
She stopped in her tracks and he pulled back from her stoppage of motion. "Why are you doing this?" She asked the question with her soulful eyes.
"Because if you can get Lucas back then I have a shot with Veronica," he said slowly. "She is my epic love."
"Oh," Peyton said.
"So get your butt in a cab and get back to North Carolina and don't give up," he said.
They went out of the door of the club and hit the street. Logan hailed a cab.
"Why are you doing this," Peyton asked with a puzzled expression. "I understand about Veronica, that she is like my Lucas, but why the urgency?"
"Beside it would make a damn good sequel to his first novel and an awesome sequel to the smash movie I am going to make out of this?" He smiled at her.
"Yeah, besides that," Peyton said as she slid into the cab he had flagged down for her.
"Because my heart refuses to learn the hokey pokey." He waved at Peyton as she drove off, a perplexed expression on her face.
ONE YEAR LATER:
"Hey, we got some invitation in the mail," he said. He used the letter opener to cut a slit in the envelope and slide out the invitation.
"This is odd," he said as he furrowed his brow. "Have you ever heard of a movie premier slash wedding?"
"Let me see," she said holding out her hand. He placed the invitation in her awaiting palm. She scanned over the invitation and began to laugh uncontrollable. "I'll be damned, they made it."
"What?" He looked down at the invitation expecting to see some sort of clarity where he hadn't before.
"Epic Love," she said slowly. "It's your movie, well your book."
"They changed the name?" Lucas leaned closer and studied the paper closely.
"That is not the point." Peyton waved the invitation back and forth. "It's from Logan Echolls. He is marrying the love of his life on the day the movie premiers. I think its sweet."
"How do you know Logan?" Lucas had met the guy a few times in meetings but Peyton had been too busy with her label to go out to L.A. with him.
"Let's just say that one night Logan Echolls gave me the swift kick in the ass I needed."
"Would that have something to do with you showing up at my wedding?" Lucas smiled.
"Hey, I didn't say a word at you wedding," she assured him. Peyton had intended to speak up but then the guilt and remorse kept her from it. She silent said sorry to Logan but she just couldn't do it.
It turned out it was Lucas who spoke up. He saw Peyton in the pew and had told her later that he couldn't get her out of his heart.
After the fall-up they talked for a few months and tied to let the dust settle. Then, six months ago, in front of family and friends, Lucas Scott and Peyton Sawyer got married. Their wedding cake had "True Love Always" written on it.
"Hey, what's this mean down here?" Lucas pointed at the last line on the invitation.
It read – "ABSOLUTELY NO HOKEY POKEY WILL BE ALLOWED."
Peyton began laughing uncontrollable. "The man hates the Hokey Pokey."