A/N: I'm not sure if the dates are correct here. The Diet is set in Harry's fourth year, and according to Harry Potter Wiki Snape is born on January 9th 1960. At the moment, it's about a week before school starts, so Severus would be thirty three turning thirty four in a few months. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Prologue
It was at age eleven that Severus discovered a liking to Treacle Tart.
His mouth watered as he thought of it – chewy, sweet, treacle-ness of the treacle and the soft pasty that melted in your mouth. Just thinking about it made his mouth water.
Of course, like everything he loved, it had almost been the death of him.
Severus remembered it clearly – it was just after dinner in his fourth year. He'd finished his homework quickly that day; old Slughorn had set them a twelve inch essay on the properties of moonstone (What an ingenious subject, fourteen year old Severus had thought to himself, if I'm ever made potion teacher, I'll sure give that to my students).
With a smirk on his face, he'd made his way across the green Slytherin common room and down the stone steps leading to his room. The steps were either very well polished or very wet that day. They always seemed overly shiny, like James Potter's shoes (here Severus actually growled out loud – how he hated that horrible git).
Thinking of James Potter also made him think of his good friend Lily: charming, pleasant, sweet, smart, popular, beautiful Lily. Severus just knew they were meant to be together…
Anyway, while he was thinking about Lily and James he'd arrived in his dormitory. It was the same as ever – a blur of silver and green hangings, polished mahogany furnishings, and heavy black flagstone. He wandered across the room and into the bathroom – which was very similar to the dorm room, incidentally.
It was only when he looked in the mirror that he knew in an instant that something was wrong.
Loud alarm bells rang in his head as he gaped at his reflection. He looked very much like a bat that had somehow half transformed into a balloon (Not fashionable at all!). There was a large rip in his school robes (Not fashionable at all!). And to top it all off, he had a button missing on his shirt!
Severus's heart began to beat fast. Oh no. What must Lily think of him? How long had he looked like this?
He stood there for a minute, trying to calm himself down. Panicking would not help. Usually he would recite the properties of a Bezoar. That sometimes helped when James Potter what taunting him.
Bezoar can be used for many different purposes…
Coming from the stomach of a goat, it works as an effective cure to almost any potion…
Bezoar is commonly used in instances of poisoning…
Many fashion conscious witches use it to alter their appearance…
The Bezoar can…
Wait.
Alter his appearance?
Severus's heart beat even faster. This was it! This was what would revolutionise the WORLD!
Ha ha. To think - now Dumbledore had requested the use of his potion, thirty three year old Severus thought to himself as he poured the Powdered Unicorn Horn. No more worrying about Treacle Tart ever again. No five-small-meals-a-day diets ever again. He, Severus, was the saviour of humanity!
He called it Knoltorgus Plotussum, or Slimming Potion. It wasn't quite fool proof yet, but Dumbledore had tried it and everything had been fine.
Now just let it simmer for a few minutes…
Snape slid his journal across the desk and opened it to August 16th. Dipping his quill into a pot of blood red ink, he began to record his progress so far on the Slimming Potion.
Footsteps sounded in the corridor. Dumbledore, he thought absentmindedly, what does he want now?
Someone knocked at the door.
"Come in," Severus said tersely.
He turned around just in time to see a black cloaked figure lunge at him.
Severus staggered backwards, knocking into the desk. He hurriedly slipped his wand out of his pocket as the figure snatched something from his desk.
"Expelliarmus!" he half-screamed. The trespasser deflected his spell expertly, took his wand from his robes, and shot a beam of green light towards the potions master. Snape dodged it and propelled a Sectumsempra curse at his attacker. It missed the figure by an inch and hit the wall, bouncing back towards him. The attacker sent another spell at Severus, which he quickly repelled, making for the door.
He glanced at his challenger. Neither of them dared make a move. Severus had blocked the way out. The attacker had something that was his.
Then before Severus knew what was happening, the figure had snatched a potion from his desk and forced it in the professor's mouth.
Severus instantly dropped to the floor, gasping for breath and dropping his wand. It fell with a clatter to the floor and rolled under his desk. Not this potion, he thought vaguely, no…
He was dragged across the floor and into a dark space. He thought he heard a door slam, a long way away. Pitch blackness swam before his eyes as he collapsed into nothingness.
Severus is a bit OOC (on purpose) in this chapter, as you can probably tell. I can't imagine JK Rowling's Severus boasting about being the saviour of humanity. Can you?
Please review. Even if you can't be bothered to login.