Author's Note: This is my thirty fourth episode of Epic Rap Battles Of History. This episode, in honour of Halloween, I'm gonna give you a Creepypasta free for all rap battle. I don't own the characters in the rap battle or the ERBOH series themselves.
Also, compared to other rap battles, I'm gonna do things a little bit differently. Since this rap battle will be 'performed live', it's gonna be on a stage with various things.
BTW, if you want to work with me on a rap battle, tell me. I'm already working on a project with SSBBFan.
And of course, I give all credit to Peter Alexis Shukoff (Aka. Nice Peter) and Lloyd Leonard Alqhist (Aka. Epic Lloyd) for creating the Epic Rap Battles Of History series.
(A black screen is shown before white text appears)
(Text)
"On October 24th 2013, a violent massacre occured at the newly built KJMusical ERBOH arena."
(The text disappears before more take its place.)
"Not much is known about this massacre, but rumours state that this occured after a rap battle, but when police arrived, the crime scene was empty aside from dead, mutilated bodies, destroyed cameras and other ruins around the arena."
(The original text disappears before more text appears.)
"Due to a lack of evidence, the police are unable to identify who were the suspects nor their intentions for commiting this act that resulted in the deaths of nearly 275 people."
"All cameras available were destroyed. However, one camera was able to film the whole rap battle and the massacre itself."
"What you're about to see is possibly the last moments of nearly 275 people."
(The text disappears before one more line of text is shown.)
"What you're about to see….."
"May disturb you."
Location: London
Date: 24th October 2013
Time: 11:45PM
(There is a stage similar to that of Encore from Black Ops 2, except it is twice the size and has been shrouded by darkness. There are large television screens on the wall behind the stage. Cheers of crowds can be heard. The stage suddenly lights up with white, red & orange colors The stage has a rusty, run-down and abandoned appearance as if the stage hasn't been used in years and is littered with jack-o-lanterns, graves, candles, spiders, chains, nooses, inflatable ghosts, skeletons and other Halloween decorations, looking like Mob Of The Dead, Nuketown Zombies & The Black Parade Is Dead! Tour all combined on this one stage. Suddenly, a loud piercing scream is heard as a scary picture is shown on the TV screens.)
Epic Rap Battles Of History!
(Upon hearing those 5 words, the crowd goes wild.)
Halloween special!
(Fog machines activate on the stage.)
Creepypasta free for all!
(Suddenly, The Announcer, who is a man with grey hair and a white suit, appears from under the stage via hydrolic lift. Accompanied by this are bats and projected ghosts.)
(Announcer)
"Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome all, to the biggest battle of Halloween! 16 legends, 16 names of evil, 16 faces of death! But only one can become champion! The one you think is the best. Lads and lasses,..."
(There is a short pause. The audience falls silent.)
"...Let's get ready to rumbleeeeeeeeee!"
(The crowd once again goes wild as the beat starts up.)
Beat: Hard Horror Hip-Hop Rap Instrumental 2011 by OfficialDJDSign (/watch?v=7iAQEQIrIY4)
"Our first combatant today. Please welcome, the spirit of the forest, the faceless terror, A.K.A. der Ritter, Slendermaaaaaaan!"
(Upon being mentioned, the lights flicker violently before Slenderman appears on stage. He grabs a near by mic and starts rapping.)
(Slenderman)
My name's the Slenderman, welcome to the halloween rap battle,
I slaughter & devour the courage of even the bravest men like cattle.
Looking directly at me's a decision that really ain't bright.
I'm the reason you don't go into the woods late at night!
I'm like a ghost, I disappear in the quickest blink of an eye.
When I'm nearby, you can guarantee for sure that you'll die!
I have tons of fan art, fan stories and a game series, you see.
I'm the most famous pasta monster, who dares challenge me?!
(Voice)
"I do."
(A man appears in the audience and climbs up onto the stage, keeping his back to the audience so his face isn't showing. The man wears a white hoodie with black dress pants and a pair of black shoes.)
(Announcer)
"Oh boy. This is gonna be good I can tell."
(He clears his throat before speaking again.)
"The next one in the ring, the grin of the Devil, the white hoodie from Hell, the one to send you to sleep, Jeff the Killeeeeeeer!"
(Upon the name being called, he suddenly turns around, revealing his pale face with his glasgow smile as the crowd cheers at Jeff. He snatches the mic from Slenderman.)
(Jeff)
You seem tired, here, Slendy-boy, I'll put you to bed quick.
The only time you were scary was a lame YouTube flick.
Look at me, I'm popular, my pics all over the net!
You got lost in the media and ended up all wrecked!
You're a joke on the net, just pictures turned out bad,
When I become a champ today, you'll stand there, all sad!
Noone fears you anymore, you're a bad sitcom star!
I'll get you now to go to sleep and maybe a new scar!
(With the final line, he shakes his knife at Slenderman.)
"PEACE!"
(He turns to the audience, who's cheering wildly at this point, and makes a V sign. He's about to leave the stage when...)
(German Voice)
"Now hold on for vone second."
(Slenderman and Jeff stop in their tracks and look around as the announcer speaks.)
(Announcer)
"Is that-? It is! Now, wasn't man's best friend a dog? Well, these folks surely aren't playing around. Welcome, the intelligent cat, all the way from the Pasta Monsters universe, and his master, who's German and Australian for some reason, Mr. Widemouth and Grinny, the cat!"
(The two appear on stage with a puff of smoke upon mention as the beat starts up.)
(Grinny)
Ah Mr. Videmouth, look vhat ve have right here!
(Mr. Widemouth)
A pair of talking freak shows trying to be tough this year?
(Grinny)
Don't talk like you're king Slenderman! You're outdated!
(Mr. Widemouth)
And Jeff, that Joker smile of yours is seriously overrated.
(Grinny)
Don't vorget I can turn into a human, a hybrid und a cat!
(Mr. Widemouth)
And I can make kids die. What you gonna say 'bout that?
(Grinny)
When our popularity explodes, we'll be remembered for infinity.
(Mr. Widemouth)
And we'll continue this way like I took Grinny's virgini-.
(The beat stops with a record skip.)
"AH! DAMN IT! NO! I'M NOT GAY! I SWEAR!"
(Mr. Widemouth runs off stage.)
(Grinny)
"Mr. Videmouth, vait! It's just a rap battle. It doesn't matter if vone of your lines makes you sound gay."
(Grinny runs off after Mr. Widemouth.)
(Announcer)
"Okay then. Maybe it's best they don't know that KJMusical ships Grinny & Mr. Widemouth together.
(As the announcer says the next line, a woman with a black hood over her head walks onto the stage and stops in front of Jeff & Slenderman.)
Anyway, next up, dear audience, we have a girl in the house! Please let me introduce, the female Killer, the vengeful daughter, Jeff's worst nightmare, Jane the Killer!"
(Jane throws her hood down to reveal her face as the beat starts back up.)
(Jane)
If you wanna beat me in rapping, then true talent is required.
As for Jeff & Slenderman, those two are officially retired.
As soon as I stepped in, your rapping started to look bleak,
I'll be surprised if anybody remembers you two in a week.
And wherever they are, Grinny & Widemouth serve no better.
I'll run all of you out of business like I made you a debtor
Oh, and to the other two, remember my fame'll last forever.
Think you're the better raps? KJMusical ships you too together!
(To roaring applause, Jane smiles and waves at the crowd.)
(Announcer)
"For a girl, that Jane has some brilliant lines! Now, anyone up for jokes? The next one certainly is! Please welcome him, with applause, ladies and gentleman, the nightmare of daddies, the clown turned wrong, the killer joke, Laughing Jack!"
(Laughing Jack appears with a psychotic laugh and a puff of smoke which makes the stage lights all go out before a lone spotlight shines on him and the beat changes to just violins and a music box playing a loop of 'Pop Goes The Weasel'.)
(Laughing Jack)
All around the rap fight stage, the crowd was cheering for me,
The crowd thought this was all and fun, it's clear for all to see!
My killer song means death is near, I kill your kid, then cage you,
Then after some years in the jail, come back again and claim you.
You can't defeat me, just accept, that someone's gonna die now,
I am the scary clown of death, so just surrender and bow!
When your flesh gets cut up and sliced, by a rusted chi-sel,
The last thing you hear in your life, is 'Pop goes the wea-sel'!
(The stage goes dark and the beat abruptly stops as Jack's maniacal laughter can be heard. After a few seconds, the lights turn back on to reveal Slenderman, Jeff, the Announcer, Grinny & Mr. Widemouth, the latter two having returned to the stage during Jack's verse. However, a figure with black eyes and blue skin can also be seen too.)
(Announcer)
"Well, well, we have another Jack incoming, audience! Please allow me to introduce, the kidney thief, the "should-be-blind" entity...Eyeless Jaaaaaaaack!"
(Eyeless Jack)
I don't know what I'm supposed to see here!
I can tell these are a bunch of imbusiles over there!
What I hear is crappy lyrics!
What I smell is a bunch of harmless recks.
I will eat of your lunges.
I am not spitting puns.
I will kill you in your bed.
One last thing: your brother is DEAD!
(The music stops.)
(Jeff)
"Uh Jack? I KNOW my brother's dead. I killed him."
(Jack looks around awkwardly.)
(Jack)
"Yeah, I-I knew that."
(Announcer)
"That must be so awkward for him. Regardless, the show must go on!"
(As the Announcer speaks the next line, the Song Of Unhealing can be heard as a statue is rolled out onto the stage by two individuals in Halloween costumes, one being a zombie, the other being a vampire.)
"For the next one, Zelda fans, please look away. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, here comes, the haunted statue, the dark side of Link..."
(The statue topples forward and shatters as the Song Of Unhealing abruptly stops. Everyone looks around, confused.)
(Slenderman)
"Um, that's it? Seriously?"
(Laughing Jack)
"He was only in this battle for like, 5 seconds."
(Announcer)
"Please welcome, Beeeeen!"
(As his name is being called, the pieces of the statue catches fire and a black and white form of Link with black eyes & red pupils bursts out of the flames.)
(Ben)
Welcome, dear audience, it's my turn on the field,
Today, I'm gonna hit you hard, through a broken shield.
Slender, Jeff and Grinny, HAH! This is a joke, right?
Widemouth, Jane and the two Jacks, who thought this is a fight?
Look at me, I just stand here and still manage to kill,
I grab you with my mental force and throw you down a hill!
Song Of Unhealing marks your end, you're next it's clear now!
I drowned, but I am here again, tonight I'll steal the show!
(Announcer)
"Excellent rapping there Ben buddy!"
(Ben turns to the Announcer and the two bro-fist.)
"Now ladies and gentlemen, anyone up for a fox hunt? Or maybe a fox doll hunt? Here and now, ladies and gentlemen, the cursed doll is present. The glitch of a fright time, the cruel joke of Japan, the cursed fox, Tails Doll!"
(Tails Doll appears out of roaring flames, to the shock of the other characters.)
(Tails Doll)
Raps again? This is my third time, and I'm truly better then all of you!
Jane and Jeff, just kiss already. You know you want to!
I'm a famous rapper, Ben, you got drowned.
With my skills, you already got owned.
Eyeless Jack and laughless Jack, I can't tell you apart.
I'm so creepy, they won't sell my game at Wal-Mart!
Grinny? Ha, sounds like Granny! I was declared winner when this rap started!
Let's just finish by saying your creepypastas are retarted!
(After a pause, wolves can be heard howling around the stage. Everybody look around, confused.)
(Announcer)
"Oh boy. Now, dear audience. Would you like to "spread the word?" No? Then please leave the scene. The next fighter is the human toothed hound, the haunted picture, from the dark corner of chainmails, welcome, Smiiiiile dog!"
(The original image appears on one of the giant TV screens. Suddenly, the lights go out and when they turn back on, Smile Dog is centre stage and the picture in the background is replaced with the infamous orange tinted image.)
(Smile Dog)
I'm a spirit, right from Hell, picture made of the Devil!
You get me as a chainmail, but what I have is true evil!
If you don't spread the word, your nights will go baad!
Cause when I'm in town, little children cry "DAAAAD!"
I can bite through anything, so you'll all better fear!
I can kill everyone here and not shed a single tear!
You're outdated, old Slendy, just quit and retire,
For here's the new killer, nightmare bringer for hire!
(There is a loud explosion on the stage combined with a loud wolf howl as the audience goes wild once again, some chanting Smile Dog's name followed by 3 claps. Suddenly, a blue streak zooms across the stage, startling the other Pasta Monsters on stage.)
(Jeff)
"Oh God, not him!"
(Grinny)
"I hate his shtory!"
(Announcer)
"Looks like it's him. Next one on the list, is the game turned horrific, the one, who calls himself God, always ready for round twoooooo...Sonic EXE!"
(With the name, Sonic zooms to the centre of the stage, stops, gives the thumbs up to the audience, then snatches the mic off the announcer.)
(Sonic)
Who's up for some racing, a deadly racing of fire?
Tails got nailed there, that was like one flat tire.
Or maybe, we could play some hide and seek,
Knuckles died there, I showed him who's really weak!
Or maybe I'll just kill you, for good time's sake!
Like what I did to Robotnik, yeah, it wasn't fake!
This is my own game, not some lame mod!
Now let me say it clear, that I AM GOD!
(The last 3 lines are also shouted by the audience as Sonic raps them. Almost immediately afterwards, laughter can be heard and a Party Cannon rolls onto the stage. Sonic looks around, notices the Party Cannon, then sighs in annnoyance.)
"Oh for God's sake, not you again! You know I don't have a good history with you!"
(Announcer)
"Ladies and gentlemen, do you like cupcakes? I sure hope so, because we have the next fighter from just that. Let's scream for Pinkamena Diane Pie!"
(The Party Cannon fires, shooting out confetti, internal organs, balloons and severed heads. Pinkamina herself, is also fired out of the cannon. She front flips a couple of times whilst in mid air, before landing on her hooves. She then stands on her hind legs with her head down. She then slowly looks up with an evil smile on her face.)
(Sonic)
"Yeah yeah, we all know who you are Pinkie! Just get on with your verse!"
(Pinkamena)
Trying to rap battle me's like walking on thin frozen water.
I'm queen of this, you're all just lambs to the slaughter!
Jeff, Jane, Smile & Sonic, I don't see how you guys are scary.
Ben, just go back to the Afterlife and stay there, you glitchy fairy.
Mr. Widemouth & Grinny, do me a favour and give yourselves a shave.
To the two Jack's, let's just say I'll put you both back in your graves.
Don't bother responding guys, for I am ALL your true master!
Need I mention, I'm the staple of My Little Pony creepypasta?
(Sonic has a look of shock on his face.)
(Sonic)
"My God. She's perfect. I think I love her."
(Announcer)
"What was that Sonic?"
(Sonic)
"Uh, nothing! I said nothing!"
(There is a loud buzz as an announcement comes over loud speakers.)
(Announcement)
"Ladies and gentlemen, SCP 173 has escaped captivity. If you see it, remain eyesight on it at all times. Repeat, remain eyesight on it at ALL TIMES."
(Mr. Widemouth)
"Oh Christ, I could never finish SCP Containment Breach, it's so scary."
(Eyeless Jack)
"Oh please not him! Anybody else but him!"
(Announcer)
"Now, dear audience, keep your eyes open, or you might get choked to death. Please, allow me to introduce...
(Pinkamena)
"Please don't introduce it! It'll kill everyone in this arena."
(Announcer)
"The cute looking maniac..."
(Sonic)
"Maniac? Definately. Cute? No!"
(Announcer)
"The devilish sculpture..."
(Grinny)
"He's not coming up to battle us."
(Announcer)
"The enemy of eyesight..."
(Mr. Widemouth)
"He is."
(Announcer)
"Object SCP 173!"
(Immediately afterwards, the lights go out.)
(Grinny)
"Vat ze hell?!"
(Jeff)
"Hey! Who turned out the lights?!"
(The lights come back on dimmly. The other characters notice SCP 173 and react with fear. Throughout his verse, the lights go out and the statue itself appears on different sections of the stage whenever they turn back on.)
(SCP 173)
Subject, they call me, what am I, a lab rat?!
Object, they call me, well, I am none of that!
I'm a deadly Grim Reaper, come out of hell,
Whoever saw me, just knows, they can tell!
Sculpture, they say? Well, aint that ironic!
When they see me for real, I'm very demonic!
They locked me up, just like that, throwing the key!
I'll kill them all, unlock the cell and finally, be free!
(Suddenly, rumbling is heard, confusing the group.)
(Announcer)
"And now, all you, dear audience. Why don't we get a bite of meat? Here, from the Pokemon Tower, the man, who was buried, the replaced boss, the cartridge hacker, Buried Alive Model!"
(With his name being called, Buried Alive Model bursts out of the group in the center of the stage, startling the group.)
(Buried Alive Model)
I'm back from the dead and this time, I'm STAYING alive!
When I rap on this beat, gurantee no one shall survive.
You want free nightmares? Put ME into your Pokemon game.
Even with your verses all combined, they'll still be lame!
I can hear your crappy raps from down here, they annoy me.
It's so dark and lonely in death, somebody should join me!
There's no time to diss individuals. You ALL suck on the beat!
So, you all better flee unless you want to become fresh meat!
(Announcer)
"Nice rapping there, Buryman!"
(The lights start to lose focus and begin going dim as a distorted piano begins playing. The screens also lose signal and disolve into static. An odd laughter can be heard too.)
(Grinny)
"Vait. Vhy does zat laugh zound familiar?"
(Announcer)
"Oh boy! This'll be brilliant!"
(A black and white shape slowly walks on stage. The Announcer notices and speaks up.)
"Whoops, guess this one will ruin a few childhoods. Allow me to introduce, the crownless king of jumpscares, the unbeatable game, the horrible way to die...Suicide Mouse Mickey!"
(The scream from Suicide Mouse plays as Mickey turns to the audience, revealing an evil smurk on his face.)
(Suicide Mouse Mickey)
Oh boy! So I've been released to this rap battle?
I feel so alive, I'll ride on this beat without a saddle!
I'm fighting you all?! Please! I'm the Lost Episode forefather!
I started that creepypasta genre, so seriously why bother
Battling me? I'm a pasta both worth watching and reading.
I MAKE my victims stop themselves from living & breathing
Nevermind all your raps, this battle's so obvious that I win
Just remember: The sights of Hell bring its viewers back in.
(Announcer)
"OH! Excellent rapping there Mickey!"
(Mickey hi-fives the Announcer.)
(Announcer)
"Now, ladies and gentlemen-."
(Someone in the audience has a coughing fit.)
"Hey, are you alright down there?"
(The audience member climbs onto the stage. He's wearing a red shirt and blue jeans. He's also wearing a black skull cap. The Announcer looks at the person and smiles.)
"Oh boy! This is it. This is definately the end of the battle now. Aaaaaaand, last, but not least, the lord of disturbing images, the God of ruining photos, the monster of a being...Lord Zalgo!"
(At the name, the member turns around, revealing black eyes with blood dripping from them. Evil laughter can be heard as Lord Zalgo himself, in his appearence from The Seer, appears on the television screens.)
(Zalgo)
Enough of your puny rhymes, let the real evil rhyme,
You're nothing compared to me, no more than swine!
You shouldn't have done that Ben, I'll kill you now!
And you, Tails Doll, nonsensical! I'll force you to bow.
Pinkamena, you're no more than a laughable fanfic.
SCP?! HAH! You look like a big, human sized prick!
Buried and Mickey? I couldn't deal with you faster!
Now all of you will see the power of ZALGO, THE MASTER!
(There's a loud bang as the lights go out. The audience cheers wildly.)
(Announcer)
"What a battle, people! Well, that's it for now, but I hope you enjoyed it! See you next Halloween and sweet dreams!"
Who Won?
Who's Next?
You Decide!
(The lights turn back on to reveal the stage once again, all of the rappers standing in a line, except Lord Zalgo. The Announcer can be seen speaking with Jane The Killer, who walks off stage.)
"Oh! I almost forgot! Lord Zalgo would like to say a few words."
(Lord Zalgo appears on the stage. He has the same appearence as he did on the screens and is slightly taller than the Slenderman.)
(Lord Zalgo)
"Thank you. I want to thank everyone for coming out tonight. I assure you Halloween of 2013 will be excellent and scary for you all and I'm sure you'll have a good time."
(He pauses. He then raises a finger before speaking.)
"However, I regret to announce to everybody here, that the gates out of this arena has been locked. The reason? It's because nobody here is going to get out."
(He readies a smoking red skull.)
"And not only that, nobody here is going to get out, ALIVE!"
(He throws the skull which explodes near a group of people. Red smoke shoots out and hits them. The victims' skin goes grey and they collapse, dead.)
"GET 'EM GUYS!"
(The Pasta Monsters break the line and charge into the audience. Almost immediately, there is total panic as people rush to try and escape their rampage. The only sounds that can be heard is blood splatting, bodies hitting the ground and screaming. The camera shifts and moves, revealing Slenderman using his appendages to impale his victims whilst Jeff stabs anyone that runs past. The camera turns around and starts to wobble, as if the camera man has started running. He passes Grinny and Mr. Widemouth, Grinny scratching at his victim's throats whilst Mr. Widemouth slashes people's throats using a long metal shard. The camera turns to show Laughing Jack, controlling people to kill each other and themselves. Eyeless Jack can be seen in the background, tearing organs out of the bodies of his victims. The camera turns to see somebody float in the air before bursting into flames. It turns back to the stage to see only Ben using his ability. Next to him is Lord Zalgo, still throwing the smoking red skull grenades. The Announcer can also be seen, sitting on a chair with an evil smile on his face. The camera turns to see a woman getting ripped apart by Sonic before having her soul consumed by Tails Doll. The cameraman begins running again, catching somebody getting mauled to death by Smile Dog. A teenage girl and her boyfriend can be seen. Suddenly, SCP-173 appears behind the boyfriend and snaps his neck. Almost immediately afterwards, the ground below the girl falls apart as Buried Alive Model drags her underground as she screams for help. Suicide Mickey can be seen, influencing people to suicide. The camera man turns and runs for the exit. Getting to the gate however, it's shown to be locked. He turns to see Pinkamena Diane Pie disecting various people and using their organs to kill others e.g. strangling somebody to death with their intestines, throwing stomach acid into someone's face. She looks up and notices the cameraman. She then advances on him.)
(Cameraman)
"No. Please no! No! No! No! NO! NO!"
(Before the camera man can react, Pinkamena raises her scalpel and slits the camera man's throat. The camera flies up into the air and slams back on the ground. After a few minutes of total carnage, the noise dies down to almost complete silence. After a few seconds, the Pasta Monsters can be seen, Slenderman talking to the Announcer.)
(Slenderman)
"Everybody in this arena is dead sir. Just like you wanted."
(Announcer)
"Excellent. I wish for absolutely no wittnesses to this massacre."
(Jeff The Killer)
"Yeah yeah. You got your wish, now pay up!"
(The Announcer takes a small wad of bank notes out of his pocket and hands it to Jeff.)
"What the Hell's this?! Pounds?! We don't have pounds in the Under Realm! I'll kill you for not paying our fees!"
(He raises his knife to stab the Announcer, but Lord Zalgo appears and stops him. In the background, the gate can be heard being unlocked and opened.)
(Lord Zalgo)
"No Jeff. We can convert it into our currency when we get back. Now sir, you may leave. But tell nobody about what happened here tonight."
(Announcer)
"It was a pleasure doing business with you guys."
(The Announcer walks off as a red portal appears behind him. All of the Pasta Monsters walk through the portal except Jeff and Slenderman.)
(Slenderman)
"Come on Jeff. It's time to go."
(Jeff)
"Hang on a second. I think I saw somebody with a video camera. Ah! Here it is!"
(Jeff picks up the camera and looks into it.)
"Ya know Slendy? I've always wanted to be on TV and stuff. Then I can finally know what being famous feels like."
(Slenderman is about to walk into the portal.)
(Slenderman)
"Remember Jeff, no eye wittnesses. No evidence either."
(He disappears into the portal.)
(Jeff)
"Alright."
(He lifts up the camera over his shoulder and throws it at the ground. The image starts to lose quality and the sound becomes glitched. Jeff takes one last look at it before stamping on it, completely breaking the camera. After a few seconds of black, white text appears.)
(Text)
"The video ends here."
"The Announcer of this rap battle's current location is unknown."
Cast:
Slenderman, Grinny, Mr. Widemouth, Jane The Killer, Pinkamena Diane Pie, Buried Alive Model & Suicide Mouse: KJMusical
Jeff The Killer, Laughing Jack, Ben, Smile Dog, Sonic, SCP-173 & Lord Zalgo: writer of chaos
Eyeless Jack: The Original Mr. D
Tails Doll: Siily Lilly