Title: Think about it.
Author: Lisa Email: lc7685@hotmail.com Disclaimer: I don't own the show, characters, original idea etc. etc. Rating: PG (PG in Australia's probably the equivalent of PG-13) Category: D/R Setting: Post Scary Monsters, but no to only maybe tiny spoilers :) Notes: This is much longer than I intended. I thought it'd be a two pager. Try twenty. Meh :P I got myself drowned in fluff. Ahhhh the goodness! :D Thanks for the feedback! It's always greatly appreciated and is excellent encouragement! I wanted to look at what Monica and John would be like if they took a chance to relax a little and since I'm still getting to know the characters, they may not be as solid as some other fics, but meh, hope you enjoy nonetheless! :D
Scully arched a very impressively groomed eyebrow as she read the report she was holding in her hands. Her eyes drifted up and to the left, glancing at Monica, who was watching eagerly.
"What do you think?" she asked. Scully looked back down at the report, disbelieving.
"I'm...impressed." Monica grinned. "Shocked, even." Scully handed the papers back to Monica, who shoved them back into a file and put it on John's desk, which she'd taken it off. "Did you help him?" Scully asked as Monica turned back to her, leaning against her own desk.
"No, he did it all by himself." Scully shook her head, a small smile on her lips.
"A little over a year and he's writing reports concluding the inconclusive. It's so...-"
"Dana can I ask you something?" Scully looked up as Monica cut her off.
"Of course."
"When you came to the X Files, did you feel any kind of pressure, to be like Mulder?"
"Not really."
"Why not?"
"Truthfully?" Scully asked. Monica nodded. "I thought Mulder was a little uh..."
"Spooky?" Scully laughed.
"Insane," she replied after a second to compose herself. "I thought he was a nutter. But, after a couple of cases I, well, let's say I lied to myself for a long time because I didn't want to think I was as nutty as him." Not completely true, Scully knew, but she and Monica were having a bit of fun, and she was having a particularly good day.
"You're not."
"Thankyou, I think," Scully replied. "But why the original question?"
"Well, Leyla, she's-"
"Interesting," Scully suggested.
"I just never thought Mulder and Scully had groupies."
"What do you think you and John are?" Scully asked, laughing as Monica grinned.
"Oh, yeah, forgot about that!"
"Leyla's very, 'very', open," Scully stated. "But she's also very accepting, and that's why she's not here, and we are."
"You think she's gullible?"
"I don't know her that well, Monica."
"No, I guess not."
"You still haven't answered my question."
"Oh, don't worry. You explained it."
"I did?" Scully paused. "Listen, Monica, if you're worried that you won't live up to my standards, you know-" Monica rolled her eyes and Scully laughed. They were enjoying this. John had been sent out to get lunches because Scully was working and Monica was "recovering", as she had put it with a grin plastered across her face, even though there had been nothing to recover from. John bought it with a groan then a chuckle, and she knew she was in the clear. Since he'd left, Monica and Scully had been mucking around a little more than usual, and had gone through John's report on the Conlon case.
*
Scully left an hour and a half later for Quantico, leaving John and Monica to tie up a couple of loose ends in the reports.
"Monica can you read over this for me?" John asked, handing her his report. She sat at her desk while he stood opposite it, and looked up, smiling.
"It's fine, John." John's brow creased.
"How do you know? You haven't read it yet." A look passed over Monica's face, reminiscent of the look young children get when they realise they've been caught out by their parents.
"Well actually, I had a look over the file while you were getting lunch. It's fine, John."
"I dunno. It sounds..." He sighed as though he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.
"It sounds like you fully understand and believe what happened. That's great."
"I don't understand it."
"This is the X Files, John. You're not meant to fully understand what happens, but you have to sound like you do."
"Oh," John stated. Monica smiled, reaching out and touching his arm affectionately.
"What's the matter? I couldn't have written it better. Scully loved it. I think it reminded her of something Mulder wrote."
"Really?"
"Well she was shocked that you had written it, of course, but she was smiling." Monica nodded as though that were all John should need to hear.
"Hmm," John mumbled, moving back to his desk. After several minutes came an even louder sigh, accompanied by an "Ah, dammit!"
"What?" Monica asked.
"I can't sign this."
"Yes you can. Can't you see? You're finally accepting that strange things happen."
"I accepted that a long time ago."
"Yeah but you've never submitted reports to Skinner accepting it. Sign it. Otherwise all this time, it's just been a waste."
"What do you mean?"
"John, I don't hold it against you, but you're much nicer to be around when you're being honest with yourself. So sign it." She looked back down at her own statement and crossed a punctuation mark out, hearing John's chair scrape along the ground as he got up.
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing. Don't worry," Monica replied, feeling him on the other side of the desk but not looking up.
"No, I want to know."
"I know some things in life are hard to accept," Monica began after a long time spent choosing her words carefully. "When I was younger, all the way up into my early twenties, I had a hard time accepting that I'd never know who my parents were-"
"You could-"
"They're sealed and I don't want to," Monica cut him off before he could even really start. "And there are other things that I've had to come to terms with, like death." She looked up and met his eyes. "But I've always been able to accept that sometimes there are anomalies in this world, the spiritual world, and in the human race. That's our work, right? This report you wrote proves that now you accept it too. It's proof."
"Maybe I don't want this to be proof and I'll rewrite it."
"Maybe, but then you'll be lying to yourself. You know what you saw. Even Scully describes things she saw, and offers all possible explanations. All. She's just non-conclusive in a lot of her reports. You're being conclusive in this one, John. You're doing what Scully couldn't do for years. Don't you see that?"
"That's not true," he stated emphatically, getting worked up.
"What do you mean?"
"If I sign this report you're saying that it says I believe in all this stuff."
"Not all this stuff, just the case-"
"Well that's not true."
"You don't believe what happened? John-" Monica went to comment and offer a large smile but John cut her off, firing himself up.
"What happened, happened. I can't be sure of it and neither can you."
"I'm sure of it."
"Well I'm not you, Monica. And I don't wanna be. I don't wanna be like you and I don't wanna be like Mulder!" The silence that followed was unmistakably pained. Monica pushed herself up out of her chair slowly. She'd been sitting down the whole time and had only just begun to feel uncomfortable. Now she stood across from him, meeting his height and still feeling insignificant, her mouth open.
"Well you're not Mulder, John," she managed, reaching for her bag and coat. "And you don't have to be like me." She stepped around her desk and walked out, stopping first at the door. John hadn't turned around to see her, so she spoke to his back. "I never asked you to be like me John. I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. I just wanted you to be...you." Her words reached John's ears and slowly sank in. By the time he'd spun around on his heel she'd gone.
Author: Lisa Email: lc7685@hotmail.com Disclaimer: I don't own the show, characters, original idea etc. etc. Rating: PG (PG in Australia's probably the equivalent of PG-13) Category: D/R Setting: Post Scary Monsters, but no to only maybe tiny spoilers :) Notes: This is much longer than I intended. I thought it'd be a two pager. Try twenty. Meh :P I got myself drowned in fluff. Ahhhh the goodness! :D Thanks for the feedback! It's always greatly appreciated and is excellent encouragement! I wanted to look at what Monica and John would be like if they took a chance to relax a little and since I'm still getting to know the characters, they may not be as solid as some other fics, but meh, hope you enjoy nonetheless! :D
Scully arched a very impressively groomed eyebrow as she read the report she was holding in her hands. Her eyes drifted up and to the left, glancing at Monica, who was watching eagerly.
"What do you think?" she asked. Scully looked back down at the report, disbelieving.
"I'm...impressed." Monica grinned. "Shocked, even." Scully handed the papers back to Monica, who shoved them back into a file and put it on John's desk, which she'd taken it off. "Did you help him?" Scully asked as Monica turned back to her, leaning against her own desk.
"No, he did it all by himself." Scully shook her head, a small smile on her lips.
"A little over a year and he's writing reports concluding the inconclusive. It's so...-"
"Dana can I ask you something?" Scully looked up as Monica cut her off.
"Of course."
"When you came to the X Files, did you feel any kind of pressure, to be like Mulder?"
"Not really."
"Why not?"
"Truthfully?" Scully asked. Monica nodded. "I thought Mulder was a little uh..."
"Spooky?" Scully laughed.
"Insane," she replied after a second to compose herself. "I thought he was a nutter. But, after a couple of cases I, well, let's say I lied to myself for a long time because I didn't want to think I was as nutty as him." Not completely true, Scully knew, but she and Monica were having a bit of fun, and she was having a particularly good day.
"You're not."
"Thankyou, I think," Scully replied. "But why the original question?"
"Well, Leyla, she's-"
"Interesting," Scully suggested.
"I just never thought Mulder and Scully had groupies."
"What do you think you and John are?" Scully asked, laughing as Monica grinned.
"Oh, yeah, forgot about that!"
"Leyla's very, 'very', open," Scully stated. "But she's also very accepting, and that's why she's not here, and we are."
"You think she's gullible?"
"I don't know her that well, Monica."
"No, I guess not."
"You still haven't answered my question."
"Oh, don't worry. You explained it."
"I did?" Scully paused. "Listen, Monica, if you're worried that you won't live up to my standards, you know-" Monica rolled her eyes and Scully laughed. They were enjoying this. John had been sent out to get lunches because Scully was working and Monica was "recovering", as she had put it with a grin plastered across her face, even though there had been nothing to recover from. John bought it with a groan then a chuckle, and she knew she was in the clear. Since he'd left, Monica and Scully had been mucking around a little more than usual, and had gone through John's report on the Conlon case.
*
Scully left an hour and a half later for Quantico, leaving John and Monica to tie up a couple of loose ends in the reports.
"Monica can you read over this for me?" John asked, handing her his report. She sat at her desk while he stood opposite it, and looked up, smiling.
"It's fine, John." John's brow creased.
"How do you know? You haven't read it yet." A look passed over Monica's face, reminiscent of the look young children get when they realise they've been caught out by their parents.
"Well actually, I had a look over the file while you were getting lunch. It's fine, John."
"I dunno. It sounds..." He sighed as though he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.
"It sounds like you fully understand and believe what happened. That's great."
"I don't understand it."
"This is the X Files, John. You're not meant to fully understand what happens, but you have to sound like you do."
"Oh," John stated. Monica smiled, reaching out and touching his arm affectionately.
"What's the matter? I couldn't have written it better. Scully loved it. I think it reminded her of something Mulder wrote."
"Really?"
"Well she was shocked that you had written it, of course, but she was smiling." Monica nodded as though that were all John should need to hear.
"Hmm," John mumbled, moving back to his desk. After several minutes came an even louder sigh, accompanied by an "Ah, dammit!"
"What?" Monica asked.
"I can't sign this."
"Yes you can. Can't you see? You're finally accepting that strange things happen."
"I accepted that a long time ago."
"Yeah but you've never submitted reports to Skinner accepting it. Sign it. Otherwise all this time, it's just been a waste."
"What do you mean?"
"John, I don't hold it against you, but you're much nicer to be around when you're being honest with yourself. So sign it." She looked back down at her own statement and crossed a punctuation mark out, hearing John's chair scrape along the ground as he got up.
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing. Don't worry," Monica replied, feeling him on the other side of the desk but not looking up.
"No, I want to know."
"I know some things in life are hard to accept," Monica began after a long time spent choosing her words carefully. "When I was younger, all the way up into my early twenties, I had a hard time accepting that I'd never know who my parents were-"
"You could-"
"They're sealed and I don't want to," Monica cut him off before he could even really start. "And there are other things that I've had to come to terms with, like death." She looked up and met his eyes. "But I've always been able to accept that sometimes there are anomalies in this world, the spiritual world, and in the human race. That's our work, right? This report you wrote proves that now you accept it too. It's proof."
"Maybe I don't want this to be proof and I'll rewrite it."
"Maybe, but then you'll be lying to yourself. You know what you saw. Even Scully describes things she saw, and offers all possible explanations. All. She's just non-conclusive in a lot of her reports. You're being conclusive in this one, John. You're doing what Scully couldn't do for years. Don't you see that?"
"That's not true," he stated emphatically, getting worked up.
"What do you mean?"
"If I sign this report you're saying that it says I believe in all this stuff."
"Not all this stuff, just the case-"
"Well that's not true."
"You don't believe what happened? John-" Monica went to comment and offer a large smile but John cut her off, firing himself up.
"What happened, happened. I can't be sure of it and neither can you."
"I'm sure of it."
"Well I'm not you, Monica. And I don't wanna be. I don't wanna be like you and I don't wanna be like Mulder!" The silence that followed was unmistakably pained. Monica pushed herself up out of her chair slowly. She'd been sitting down the whole time and had only just begun to feel uncomfortable. Now she stood across from him, meeting his height and still feeling insignificant, her mouth open.
"Well you're not Mulder, John," she managed, reaching for her bag and coat. "And you don't have to be like me." She stepped around her desk and walked out, stopping first at the door. John hadn't turned around to see her, so she spoke to his back. "I never asked you to be like me John. I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. I just wanted you to be...you." Her words reached John's ears and slowly sank in. By the time he'd spun around on his heel she'd gone.