Disclaimer: Not mine
The Horrible Malfoy Visit
Lucius Malfoy watched as the snowy owl flew over to him as he was eating breakfast. He knew of no one who owned an owl like this one, so he had no idea what to expect as he opened the envelope.
Dear Mr. Malfoy,
I know that we haven't always gotten along, but I feel that the time has come for us to make amends, especially considering the current situation.
However, I now have a problem that requires your assistance. As I am sure you are aware, Draco and I are engaged. I also am aware that you question this union due to my less than pure blood status. I can assure you sir, that I intend for your grandchildren to be raised in the same noble pure blood way that Draco was.
Draco is where my problem stems from. I love him dearly, but he is pushing me into a physical relationship. While I look forward to being with my betrothed, I wish to save myself for our wedding night.
I was hoping that you could have a word with your son regarding this. I believe it would be better if you did this in person, as Draco is not receptive to mail. Thank you for you help, sir, or would you prefer it if I start calling you "dad" just to get used to it?
Respectfully yours,
Harry Potter
"What?" screamed Lucius. He had become progressively bewildered as he read the letter, but as the sender was revealed, he became just plain angry.
"What is it, darling?" Narcissa asked as she came into the room. "I could hear you halfway across the manor."
Without a word, Lucius handed the letter to his wife. She read the first paragraph and part of the second. However, at news of her sons engagement she looked to her husband. "Engaged?" she asked.
"He didn't tell me about it. Are you sure he did not mention it to you?"
"No." Narcissa answered. "He's so young. How could he become engaged without our knowledge? Did he even consult Mr. Parkinson first?"
"What?" Lucius asked.
"Surely Draco would not have defied pure blood protocol and proposed to Pansy without her father's consent."
"Keep reading it." Lucius ordered stiffly.
Narcissa looked back at the leader and read only one other sentence. "What?" she shrieked. 'What does she mean by "less than pure blood status?' Draco knows only to keep the company of pure bloods."
"Keep reading." Lucius said through clenched teeth.
Narcissa read through most of the remaining letter. "Well, as a woman, I admire her for standing her ground with Draco and rebuffing her advances. However, I do hope that she understands that she is going to have to obey him-"
"Shut the hell up and keep reading." shouted Lucius.
"This says that he is not receptive to mail. I thought Healer Anderson helped him through that fear."
"Focus, Narcissa."
Narcissa read the closing and then, finally, the name of her future daughter-in-law. When she was finished, she looked up. "Is this a joke?"
"I don't know. Severus had a talk with Draco and Potter, and he didn't mention anything about Draco being gay. I believe he told our son that it would be unacceptable, as we needed to continue our noble line."
Narcissa's eyes widened. "What was Severus doing having a talk with Draco. I told you to do it."
"I really feel that is more of a godfather's responsibility." Lucius said. The truth was, he just didn't want to do it. Besides, Draco probably knew all about sex already.
"Well, we have to do something." Narcissa said. "We can't have Harry Potter engaged to our son. What would the Dark Lord say?"
"I will owl the old coot headmaster and inform him we are coming this afternoon." Lucius said, leaving the room quickly.
Three hours later, Professor McGonagall approached the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. She had quickly spotted Harry having lunch with his two best friends.
"Mr. Potter." she said.
"Yes, Professor?"
"You are to be in the headmaster's office in an hour."
"What's wrong?" Harry asked, suddenly worried.
"Relax, nothing is wrong. Though I do not know what this visit is regarding, Professor Dumbledore did say that you should not be concerned about it."
"Yes, Ma'am." Harry said.
"Boy, you sure have been having a lot of meetings lately." Ron said while smirking.
"Maybe Snuffles has decided to go back south." Hermione suggested. "He might just want to say good-bye to you before he goes."
"I imagine Remus will be disappointed." Harry remarked.
An hour later, Harry stood in front of the gargoyle. It automatically opened for him and he rode the steps up to the Headmaster's office. As Harry entered, the gargoyle descended again quickly.
"Ah, how nice to see you again, Harry. Please sit down. Would you care for a lemon drop?"
"No thank you, Professor. What did you need to see me about?"
"I don't. However, you do have a meeting that is taking place here."
"A meeting?" Harry asked confused. Just then, Draco entered the office, while Lucius and then Narcissa flooed in. Harry looked around at the inhabitants as a horrible realization occured. Malfoy had taken the letter seriously, but he was going to be talked to too. He had assumed that only Draco would receive a lecture. "Great. Just great." he thought.
"Sit, Draco." barked Lucius.
Draco obeyed his father quickly. Lucius then turned to Dumbledore. "Could we have some privacy?"
"I'd rather not leave Harry here. As I do not know what this meeting pertains too, I think he would benefit from my presence.
"You're probably going to want to leave." Harry said quickly.
"I will be the judge of that, Harry." Dumbledore answered benignly.
"You're probably going to regret that, sir." Harry rebutted.
"What's going on, sir?" Draco asked his father.
"You call your father 'sir'?" Harry asked.
"Why wouldn't I?" Draco questioned with a confused look on his face.
"Well it certainly is nice that you do care about some traditions." sneered Narcissa.
"What do you mean?" Draco asked, confusion once again marring his face.
"I don't know what to be more upset about, Draco." Lucius said. "That you are with a non-pure blood, that you are gay, or that you became engaged without notifying us."
"Engaged?" question Draco in much the same way as his mother did earlier that morning.
Despite the situation that Harry was in, he could not help but snort. Draco had somehow become even more pale than normal, and Lucius was looking murderous. Narcissa stood beside her husband, once again acting as if she smelled something foul.
"What do you mean?" Draco asked.
"Do not pretend young man." Lucius said, his volume growing with each word he spoke. "Potter has told us all about it."
Draco looked at the boy next to him, suspicion suddenly overcoming all else. "What did you do?"
As straight-faced as possible, Harry responded. "I'm sorry, love. I assumed they knew."
"What?" shrieked not only Draco, but oddly enough, Dumbledore.
"Please don't be angry." Harry continued. "I only wanted help. You know I wish to give you my virginity on our wedding night."
"What?" Draco yelled again.
"According to your betrothed, you are getting too frisky." Lucius snapped.
Draco stared at his father, at Harry, and then back to his father. "Father, you don't honestly think-"
"I honestly believe that if you wanted to engage in this particular type of activity, you could have at least found a girl who would accept you taking lovers on the side." Lucius said. "Miss Parkinson was raised knowing that it was her place to provide a respectable appearance for her husband. She understands that it is her place as a pure blood witch to bear children and support her husband through whatever he desires. Why are you no longer with Miss Parkinson."
Before Draco could answer, Harry spoke. "Pansy believed that she was no match for me. She said her beauty was nothing compared to mine after she walked in on a pretty nice snog session between Draco and me."
"Draco," Narcissa said gently, "I know that you are eventually going to engage in some sort of activity with men. That's what the Death Eaters do, but-"
"Narcissa." barked Lucius as he cast a glance toward the headmaster. Narcissa stopped talking while her husband walked over to the fireplace. He placed a quick call and then returned to the group. Within five minutes, Severus was entering the office. The first thing he heard was Harry questioning Lucius on what Narcissa had just said.
"So, the Death Eaters are a cover for a gay men's group?"
Severus turned to walk back out of the office before Dumbledore called him.
"Please do join us, Severus."
Snape turned back and greeted the Malfoys while looking disgustedly at Harry.
"What have you done?" Narcissa shrieked.
"What do you mean, Cissa?" Severus asked.
"You made my son gay." she accused.
"What?" Here, Snape looked at his godson. Draco in turn glared at Harry.
"I don't know what the idiot wonder over here said, but I can assure you, Draco is not gay. Just two evenings ago, I caught him with Miss. Bulstrode. They were in the middle of quite an amorous activity."
All eyes turned to Harry. Without even pausing to think, he explained. "I didn't say Draco was gay, either. I accept that it is my burden as the spouse of a pure blood to tolerate his indiscretions with women. I love him, and that is all that matters."
Narcissa turned to her son again. "But Millicent is ugly. What happened to Pansy?"
"Out of all the things in this situation to be concerned about, you pick that?" Lucius said, eyeing his wife with displeasure. "Severus, remind me to take care of that bloody stupid therapist Draco saw over the summer."
"You say a therapist?" Harry asked his fake fiancee.
"Draco, it is not good to keep secrets from your partner. I am pleased that you did disclose your mail fear with Mr. Potter, though." his mother lectured.
"Mail fear?" Albus asked.
"Yes, my son fears mail." Narcissa answered, then turned to Harry. "Yes, he saw a therapist to help cure some of his more deviant behavior that even the Dark Lord would not have been impressed with."
"Having a sexual preference for men is not deviant behavior." Severus said in a defensive voice.
"Draco, ignore your mother." Lucius argued. "It is perfectly fine to keep secrets from your partner if that partner is a loudmouthed airhead."
"What kind of deviant behavior?" Harry asked. "And why are you afraid of mail?"
"At least Harry is attractive." Narcissa said, resuming her earlier conversation with Lucius. "Millicent looks like a hippogriff relieved himself on her face."
"Shut up, Narcissa." Then Lucius turned to say something to Draco. However, before he could, Harry spoke.
"You know what, Draco. You're not worth it. Your parents are obviously a little insane and quite frankly, you're not rich enough. We're through, Malfoy." Harry stood to leave. He stopped in front of Lucius and Narcissa. "Well, it sure was something seeing you both again. Not a good something. More like something you eat that tastes horrible and you have to continually brush your teeth throughout the day to keep just the reminder out of you mouth. Yeah, I think that fits." Then he simply walked out of the room.
The other four occupants of the office watched him go. Narcissa walked over and put her arms around Draco. "It's okay, sweetheart. You'll get over it. Even if an attractive, rich guy dumped you, you are still worthy of love. He doesn't have anything that you can't get from your father's friends at your initiation-"
"Shut up, Narcissa." Lucius again barked.
Narcissa, however, did not stop talking. "Oh, darling," she said, turning to her husband, "I imagine this is going to make the Dark Lord's rebirth awkward for you."
"Shut up you stupid woman." Lucius said. Then he turned to Draco. "I hope you are happy. You just got rejected by one of the richest, most famous wizards in the world."
"But I thought you didn't want me with a man, or a half blood, or a-"
"Shut up, Draco." the elder Malfoy said before turning on his heel and walking to the fireplace. "Come Narcissa."
"Yes, Lucius." she answered obediently.
"Draco, go somewhere else." Severus ordered.
"Yes, sir."
Across the castle, Harry was once again explaining his experience while Ron and Hermione giggled madly.
"Why mail?" Hermione asked.
"I don't know." Harry said before adding, "But it is my new mission in life to find out."
"Hey, Harry?" Ron asked once he was finished
"Hm?"
"You don't really believe what Narcissa said about the Death Eaters do you?"
"Oh, I'm sure they do it. I just don't think that is their sole purpose."
"It's a shame, really." Ron said.
"How so?" Hermione asked.
"Think of how much easier it would be to defeat them if that was all they did." Ron answered, as all three once again began laughing. The last thought Harry had before they returned to writing essays was that he definitely feared some type of retribution from Draco.
A/N: Here it is, as promised. I hope it lived up to everyone's expectations, as several people commented about how they couldn't wait to read it. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Please keep it up:)