For the greater good
by jalpari
A/N: {This is part two in my series of Zutara through the years}
My Zutara one shots are canon compliant and will lead to all the implied history and emotions in my first two Zutara one shots - Until we meet again and Long after you're gone - where I give them the happy ending I think they deserve.
For anyone who needs a break from the angst, I recommend reading 'Autumn magic'. It's canon compliant Zutara fluff!
P. S. - Some of these musings are also inspired by the fan art posted by huan_beifong on Instagram and credited to te_al_latte.
"Are you okay?"
Zuko looked away, his anger and frustration rising to the surface. Hearing Katara's concern for him only increased his sense of disgust with himself.
"No, I'm not okay. My Uncle hates me, I know it. He loved me and supported me in every way he could."
He looked at Katara who had seated herself beside him. Her face was filled with concern and sympathy. Her warm kind eyes thawed his stiffening body. His shoulders slumped and his gaze dropped.
"And I still turned against him. How can I even face him?"
Katara watched as Zuko sank with every word. His dejected face touched her heart in more ways than one. He was no longer the angry prince who had chased them across the world. He was no longer the confused boy who had let his guard down in Ba Sing Se. He was just Zuko.
With every passing day since he joined the team, he was revealing the real him. And now, as she sat there watching him bare his fears, he was just Zuko - kind, caring, confused, loyal, determined, strong, awkward, funny, proud, and honorable Zuko.
"Zuko, you're sorry for what you did, right?"
"More sorry than I've been about anything in my entire life."
"Then he'll forgive you."
Zuko saw the conviction in her eyes. Those blue orbs held the ocean. And just like the ocean they ebbed and flowed with the changing tides of time. For the longest time, they were stormy every time she looked at him. But lately, they gazed upon him like a gentle and glistening lake.
She was sure, and that was enough for him. Her voice soothed him enough to get him up on his feet. With a deep breath, he made his way into his uncle's tent.
Katara sat outside the tent, a little nervous and anxious. A silent laugh escaped her as she realized how Zuko had probably sat outside her tent in the same manner the night he spoke to Sokka about their mother's death. He had looked so haggard and exhausted. But he had remained there, unwilling to budge, determined to reach out to her. He had wanted to gain her trust so badly. She shook her head at how far they had come. He had made it happen.
Katara waited patiently but heard nothing. Her ears tried to separate the sound of the insects from the silence in the tent, as her mind fought the sleep that was gliding over her senses. The next thing she knew, she jerked awake with muffled sounds coming from inside the tent.
"But how can you forgive me so easily?! I thought you would be furious with me!"
Zuko's voice was trembling with confusion, astonishment, disbelief and pain. Katara's heart jumped in her chest. He sounded like a little boy. His innocence tugged at her eyes, drawing out a few tears. She thought of how different the outcome must have been, the last time he begged a father figure for forgiveness.
"I was never angry with you", she heard Iroh's loving voice. "I was sad because I was afraid you lost your way."
"I did lose my way", Zuko muttered. Katara's tears flowed more freely. Zuko's path had been difficult, perhaps even more so than hers or Sokka's or Aang's.
"But you found it again. And you did it by yourself. I am so happy you found your way here."
"It wasn't that hard, Uncle. You have a pretty strong scent."
Katara stifled a giggle and wiped her cheeks. Zuko was finally home. Safe in the arms of his uncle. She turned to leave but glanced back at the tent. She walked towards the tent and ever so lightly, pulled the drape aside. She peeked and in and saw uncle and nephew on their knees. Zuko's back was to her but she could see his shoulders shake as he wept. Iroh cradled him like a child, and the look on his face was heartbreakingly joyful and reflected his unconditional love for the boy.
Katara resisted the urge to rush in and hug Zuko and thank Iroh for being the safe space Zuko needed. Before she could retreat, Iroh caught her eye. Katara froze, but seeing the warm smile he threw her way, she gave him a thankful smile and then took in a deep breath and walked back to sit on the grass. She would wait for him, just as he had.
Zuko stepped out of his uncle's tent, wiping his cheeks. He startled at the sight of Katara. Her head rested on her propped knees. Her eyes were open but she sat still, oblivious to his presence.
"Katara?"
Katara jumped out of her reverie. She looked at him a little dazed.
"Katara?" He knelt beside her. "Are you alright? What is it? Why are you here?"
"I waited out here all night", she smiled sleepily.
"Oh", Zuko grinned, "You look terrible."
The memory made them both laugh as Zuko sat beside her on the grass.
"So, I assume it went well?" Katara wrapped her shawl around tighter.
"Much much better than I expected", Zuko sighed.
He looked at Katara and then slid closer, "You're cold."
"I'm fin…", Katara began but let out a long sigh when Zuko increased his inner fire and his warmth cloaked her entire body. "That's nice."
Zuko chuckled and leaned in.
"You should go sleep. We have a long day tomorrow."
"Yeah, I just..wanted to make sure you're okay."
Zuko was a little taken aback.
Don't overthink this. This is how Katara is. It's in her nature. She is kind and concerned for everyone.
"'Uh...I'm doing okay. Uncle was..."
"I'm talking about tomorrow. It must be hard...going back...there."
"Hmm, yeah", Zuko shrugged nonchalantly.
Katara rolled her eyes and flicked his forehead.
"Ow! What was that for?"
"Don't act like it's not a big deal."
Zuko rubbed his forehead, "You could have just said that."
"This was more fun", Katara smirked.
"You know, for a waterbender...you are quite violent."
"Maybe you're a bad influence", Katara snorted.
"Guess so. But you've been a good influence on me. I'm sure my uncle would agree."
Katara beamed at his words and leaned against his shoulder. Zuko felt her hair brush against his neck and ears.
"I'm glad you found your way back to him."
"Me too."
"And I'm glad you found your way to us. We couldn't do this without you."
Zuko smiled and rested his head over hers. Inside the tent, Iroh smiled to himself in satisfaction.
"Zuko, you must return to the Fire Nation, so that when the Fire Lord falls, you can assume the throne and restore peace and order. But...Azula will be there, waiting for you."
Zuko looked at his uncle. He had never seen him so serious. Firelord Zuko. He took strength from his Uncle's faith in him.
"I can handle Azula."
"Not alone. You'll need help." Iroh warned him.
"You're right", Zuko nodded. Without a second thought, he turned to Katara who had been listening intently to their exchange, with a worried expression. "Katara, how would you like to help me put Azula in her place?"
"It would be my pleasure."
Katara was amazed at her lack of hesitation in deciding, her lack of surprise at his asking, and her lack of fear for what it entailed. All she knew was that they were a great team. When they fought together, she felt secure - secure that she was in control, secure that someone had unconditional faith in her, secure that she did not have to hold back her powers, and secure that she wouldn't have to worry about the other person. They flowed like an unhindered chi force. When they fought side by side, she felt her energy combine with his. They would fight as one. And they would be unstoppable.
Zuko was a little stunned at the quickness of her response. He had expected a moment of hesitation, some contemplation, at the prospect of her not being where Aang would have to face the Firelord. But she had responded to his question instantly. And she had never seemed more sure about anything.
Was she expecting me to ask her? Maybe even hoping for it? No, don't be stupid.
All Zuko knew was that when they fought together, he felt more confident in his abilities and bending than he had ever felt. He felt like his chi was at its peak. He could feel their energy combine and become unstoppable.
And more importantly, whatever was to happen when he faced Azula, he wanted Katara to be there. If he won, he wanted to share his victory with her. If he lost, he wanted to breath his last by her side. He didn't know if he would ever get such a chance after it all ended; where he could have her all to himself, even if just for a moment. This was his important moment of his life yet. And he wanted the girl he had come to respect, admire, and love right by his side.
With Azula in chains, Katara rushed to Zuko. She turned him over and saw where the lightning had hit him. The wound was deep and almost star-like. She gulped back her sobs and lowered her glowing hands on his tattered robes. She focussed all of her remaining energy on his wound. It was hard. The exhaustion of the fight combined with her misery on seeing Zuko get hit, made her hands tremble with fear. Her mind replayed the sight of him jumping in front of her and taking the lightning to his chest, over and over again. She closed her eyes and willed all her thoughts aside.
After a few seconds, she heard Zuko grimace and move. She kept her eyes closed for just a second longer, preparing herself to meet his gaze, to see his pain once more, to acknowledge what had just transpired. She collected herself and reeled in her overflowing emotions. As she opened her eyes she saw a half smiling half wincing Zuko looking at her.
"Thank you, Katara."
And just like that she came undone again. Her tears burst forth and her body shook in relief.
"I think I'm the one who should be thanking you."
She healed him just enough for him to stand up. His face betrayed no emotion as he faced Azula. She saw only a strong resolve and a readiness for what was to come. But in his eyes, there was so much more - the pain, the suffering, the compassion, the hurt, the sadness. All she wanted to do in the moment was wrap him in her embrace and shield him from everything. Hide him from what was soon to descend on him. Cling to him to be sure he was really still alive. Hold him and express her immense gratitude and sympathy.
All she could let herself do, though, was place her hand on his arm as they stood there, together, letting the reality sink in. After several minutes of silence, she wrapped her arms around herself, calming her shivers, soothing her nerves, grounding herself in her body so that she didn't drift away with her chaotic thoughts. She closed her eyes trying to center herself, when she felt warm hands on her shoulders.
"Katara…", Zuko looked at her unsure, almost childlike.
He didn't say anything else and seemed to be at a loss for words. She didn't have any words either. Neither was sure what to say to carry them ahead, and leave this moment behind. She tried smiling again only for more tears to come gushing forth.
Zuko's heart grew heavy and before he knew what he was doing, he pulled her into his embrace and wrapped his arms around her tighter with every sob. Katara was thankful for the human touch and held him firmly as well. She could feel his racing heartbeats, matching her own. She could feel his tears, joining her own. She could feel them calming down as every second passed them by.
"Thank you." They both whispered almost simultaneously.
Katara giggled and lifted her head off his chest. Zuko sighed and prepared for her to pull out of the hug. Much to his surprise and relief, she didn't.
"You did it."
"We did it", he added.
Katara's face dropped and her eyes wandered off into the distance.
"What do you think is happening...there."
Zuko wanted to hold her face in his hands, drop words of comfort on her, plant buds of hope all over her face, and tell her everything would be okay. But all he could mumble was,
"I don't know."
'I hope Aang is…"
"He will fulfil his destiny."
"Destiny is our friend today", Katara whispered remembering Iroh's words.
"Yes it is", Zuko replied and then a sudden pain shot through his body.
"Zuko!" Katara stepped back to prop him up and see what was wrong.
She saw him clutching his body and squirming in pain.
"We need to get you to a room. You need to lie down and get a proper healing session."
Zuko managed a nod and leaned on Katara, whose arms circled behind his back. He led her to his room and opened the door.
"So...this is your room", Katara wondered out loud as they stepped in and made their way to his bed.
"Uh...yeah."
"We could fit ten huts in this!"
"Oh...uh…"
"Lie down."
Zuko complied. Katara sat by his side and began pulling his tattered burnt clothes off.
"Who would have thought a water tribe peasant would be in the Firelord's room taking his clothes off."
Zuko felt his face heat up and he devolved into a fit of coughs. Katara laughed and shook her head.
"Oh, Zuko! You're so easy."
Zuko eventually settled down again and grinned at her laughing face. His heart began racing as it began to sink. He was in love with her. It was as simple as that.
"It's good to know that you still remember how to smile", Katara placed a hand on his cheek and leaned in closer.
"It's good to know you still remember how to laugh", Zuko held her hand in place.
"Alright, let's see what you've gotten yourself into."
She pulled on her water glove and moved her hands all over his torso slowly. Zuko saw a frown spread across her face. He took the liberty to keep staring at her as long as her eyes remained focussed on the wounds. He couldn't help but feel glad that she was here with him, and that they had this one, possibly last, chance at being alone. His eyes snapped away as she turned to him.
"Zuko...it's going to be a long night", she sighed.
"It can't be that bad", Zuko tried speaking casually. "At least it's shaped like a star, unlike this…", he pointed to his face.
"Ha ha, very funny", Katara grumbled and began her healing.
Yep. I love her. Congratulations, Zuko. You've just made your life a whole lot harder.
When Katara woke up, it was nearly dawn. She had felt a stirring beside her. It was Zuko. She rubbed her eyes and lifted her head. She had dozed off by his bedside, her hand on his chest, his hand on hers.
He rises with the sun.
She groaned and sat up, feeling every crank and click of her stiff body as she straightened up.
"You should lie down", Zuko whispered as he sat up. "You can sleep here if you want. I'm going to freshen up and...deal with things."
"Not so fast, Sparky", Katara pushed him back down. "You need more time. The others should be on their way here soon."
They both glanced at each other, realizing the assumptions she had just made as she uttered those words. They still hadn't heard anything from Aang or Sokka.
"No, I'm feeling fine. It's just a small…"
Zuko was interrupted mid sentence as a clump of brown, soft, damp hair smashed into his face. Katara had flung herself over him and was now hugging him tightly.
"Zuko…", she whispered in between soft sobs.
"Katara! What's the matter?" Zuko was alarmed and his hands found their way behind her back and head.
She said nothing for several minutes and Zuko just held her against his chest, waiting anxiously. A million thoughts ran through his head.
Did she know something about Aang that he didn't? Had something else happened over the night? Was she injured? Did he say something stupid in his sleep? Did Ozai hurt Aang? Was Sokka okay? Did Toph make it out?
"I'm so glad you're okay. I was so scared", she pulled back and sat facing him.
She felt his warm fingers wipe her tears.
"You're the best healer, Katara. I know you would never let anything happen to me." He froze in surprise at the intimacy of the sentence. "I mean...I didn't mean…"
"You're right", Katara smiled and held his hands in hers. "I am the best."
She leaned forward and pressed her lips into his cheek and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"I would never let anything happen to you", she whispered in his ear before laying him back down and resuming the healing.
Zuko paced his room nervously. It was the day of his coronation. All his struggles and experiences had let to this day. And now, his body refused to comply with his demand for it to just keep it together so he could get through the ceremonies.
"You look like you're going to throw up", he heard a familiar voice laughing at the door.
"I wouldn't put that past my stomach at the moment", he felt a wave of relief just by her presence.
Katara walked over and led him by his arm and seated him on the chair by his desk.
"Sit down, I want to check your wound once more before the craziness begins."
Zuko complied in silence, thankful for a distraction. Katara leaned in and moved his robe aside and examined the gash. She frowned and brought her water out.
"It's healing fast, Katara. I barely feel anything", Zuko assured her.
"No, I can do more. Just a few more healing sessions."
Zuko caught her wrists and his tone grew more insistent and commanding.
"I know how much healing takes out of you. I don't want you to waste your energy on this."
"Zuko, it's really not a…."
"Oh for spirit's sake Katara!" Zuko exclaimed.
She looked at his face and gave in.
"Fine...Firelord", she grumbled. "But if you feel any pain or discomfort or the color doesn't go away in a week…."
"Yes, yes. I will let you know", he chuckled and let go of her wrists.
"Good Firelord", Katara patted his head and giggled at his scowl.
"Firelord", he repeated and he grew quiet as if weighing the word on his lips.
"Zuko", Katara knelt by his side. "You're going to be a fantastic leader." She placed one hand on his cheek, "and you're not going to do this alone. We will be all be right by your side through this."
"Yes, together. As a family", Zuko leaned into her hand and sighed.
Katara beamed at his words. She could see him changing, thawing, allowing himself to feel included and worthy of their love. She could also see his growing attachment to everyone, especially Toph...and her. Her heart skipped a beat. An internal conflict had been brewing ever since she had confronted the southern raiders with Zuko. And it had come to the forefront after Ozai's defeat when Aang finally returned to the palace along with Sokka, Toph and Suki.
While Zuko rested, they regaled her with stories of Aang's triumph. Her heart had jumped every time they spoke of Ozai's assaults and swelled with pride at Aang's solution to bringing Ozai down without taking his life. She looked lovingly at the young Avatar who she had found in the iceberg. Deep in her heart, she knew she loved him. But now, she also knew she loved Zuko.
But something more had made itself evident to her. Her choice...the decision she would have to make...went beyond her own life. She knew their destiny. All of them. They would have to see what they started all the way to its end. More than an obligation, it was her dream. There was a bigger purpose to her life. Her sense of duty had told her that the choice had already been made for her.
They were a family now. Brought closer with every obstacle, challenge, and sacrifice. They could achieve anything and everything together. As long as they were in harmony and balance, they could bring peace to the world. And Aang and Zuko were the key to this door that had been locked for over a century. She had to do everything she could to support them...to support Aang.
He had no one. His people had been wiped from the face of this earth. Any hope of reviving the air nation now rested heavily on his shoulder. Any chance of him having a home to return to, depended on her. Any aspiration to strengthen the partnership between him and Zuko and the fire nation, rested on the fragile balance within their little family. And she would never do anything to endanger it.
She sighed and knew that this was the moment when she would have to lay any uncertainty to rest.
"Zuko…", her voice grew heavy, "...no matter how things unfold as we move ahead, I hope you know...", Katara hesitated. For a brief moment, her heart faltered.
"Know what, Katara?" Zuko looked at her, almost expectantly.
Even though she knew Zuko's honor would hold him back from crossing any lines, she also knew he would do anything...anything... if she gave him the slightest reason to have hope. It had to be done.
"I hope you know that even though we all will put our duty first", his face fell ever so slightly, "...that doesn't mean...our love will diminish, or become any less significant or mean anything less than what it is right now...in this moment."
Zuko's heart jumped at her words Our love. He convinced himself that he was reading too much into her words and rejected the thought. Wishful thinking. But something in Katara's eyes made him feel that she understood. Something told him, she knew.
In the improbable chance that Katara was saying what he thought she was, it only meant that this was where it ended. They had a long journey ahead. His own scar was nothing compared to the scars the last century had left on the world. His heart tried to maintain its composure and let his mind lead the way.
"I know, Katara", he finally said. "I won't let anything endanger our family, our purpose, and the balance we have worked so hard to achieve. I will never let you down."
Katara moved her hand back and he felt a tinge of sadness. She smiled and nodded. He understood.
Of course he understands. Zuko always understands.
"I need to go now. Aang is pretty much as nervous as you. And I have to find my father. He must be back by now."
Aang. Of course. "Yeah, of course."
"Zuko", Katara paused before walking away. "You have to find a way to be happy. We can still be happy. You have people who love you. You have Mai who risked her life for you. You have a whole nation that will grow to love you. I know it."
Katara leaned forward and hugged him once more. This time, he felt her hold on to him tight and he thought he heard her stifle a sob. His arms held tight and he found himself consoling her but he wasn't sure what for.
"Shh...I understand. I will be happy." Zuko whispered.
"Promise?"
"If you promise the same."
He could feel her smile against his cheek. And for the first time, Zuko allowed himself to return her affection. He planted a chaste kiss on her shoulder and then on her cheek. Their foreheads leaned together and a content smile spread across their faces. For the briefest of moments, Katara felt the urge to kiss his lips. But good sense reined and she returned his kiss on the cheek.
She left the room, nodding her head; reassured that everything would be alright. That she had done the right thing. That love came in different forms. That she loved Aang. And Zuko. And that was alright.
Zuko leaned back in the chair and touched his cheek. He would be happy. Everything would be alright. Love came in different forms. And he loved Katara. But he could make space in his heart for someone else. For a Firelady. For his nation. For his duty.
After several minutes of replaying that moment over and over again, he stood up with new determination and began pulling his robe back on. He heard another voice, this one raspy and calm.
"You need some help with that?"
"Mai! You're ok. They let you out of prison?" He felt a genuine wave of joy and relief.
"My uncle pulled some strings, and it doesn't hurt when the new Fire Lord is your boyfriend."
His composure faltered at her words. Boyfriend? And then Katara's words echoed in his mind.
You have to find a way to be happy. We can still be happy.
"Promise", he muttered under his breath and turned to welcome Mai. "So does this mean you don't hate me anymore?"
"I think it means...I actually kind of like you. But don't ever break up with me again."
Zuko grinned at the frowning girl approaching him and opened his arms to embrace her. As she leaned in, bringing her lips closer to his, Zuko made up his mind. He was going to try and be happy.