Our dance

Ever since they had known each other they had been colliding.

The first time they had met he had literally run into her on a med school party, spilling his drink all over her. A tasteless joke about her cleavage had followed, no excuse, no smile. Just another dirty joke the next day when they had met the second time in the library.

The next time fate had made them collide they were forced to spend four weeks working together on a ward. Four weeks they had spent fighting constantly. Followed by the ultimate collision: rough, passionate and conscience-free sex.

And ever since that one night they had been trying to gain distance from each other.

But like two planets in the dark night of the universe always stayed in their orbits, some invisible force made them circle each other, keeping them in their orbits, where they danced through each other's lives in a fine balance between destruction and stability.

Last night, though, it had happened again.

Cuddy let her hand glide over her face as she was looking at herself in the mirror.

She closed her eyes as the memories of that kiss flashed through her mind.

She had leaned in for this kiss first following the implicitness of what they were: two parts of a unit, that, once parted, naturally seeked reunion.
That moment when she had been stripped of all her guards for the first time in years she had allowed this force to take over her heart which set the pace for every single move that followed. 
When her heart had skipped a beat she had woken from this trance, finding herself only inches away from him, breathing his breath, leaning against him as the ground under her feet  had started shifting.
Her eyes focussing on his, she had found her balance again, noticing the restless dance of their gazes hovering between each other's lips and eyes, not knowing what to consume first.
However, at that point they had already lost control over it.
While she had tried to draw back it had now been him who had followed her into this kiss, his breath brushing her upper lip warm and hungry.
Initially swaying, eventually holding onto each other they had finally found stability in the rhythms of their hearts merging into one.
Until their minds got dizzy as they forgot to breathe and once again were losing halt, swaying towards the fall into something that would have consumed them in their weakest of all moments when they had nothing to defend themselves with.
Because they were both vulnerable from the circumstances of their own wretched lives - and hurt from the countless collisions before.

She opened her eyes again as her heartbeat stopped and brushed the memory away like a dream.

Her balance gone she now felt shaky, lost and somehow light. As if gravity was no longer a force that had power over her.
As if there was only one force in her universe that held her together.

She took a deep breath as she left the bathroom and got ready to go to work.

The pain that had managed her only 12 hours ago had long been gone. It was merely a dull faint reminiscence of sorrow behind a hazy curtain of something nameless.

Something that made her feel untouchable as she was gliding through the world outside. Where she lightly danced around the puddles on the ground that reflected the glow on her face.
Something that made her float through the crowds that moved around her like a viscid amorphous mass while she felt like a feather.
Something that made her collide with him again when she pushed the hospital door open, her eyes focussed on the latest edition of the New England Journal of Medicine in her hand.

This time, though, there were no dirty jokes, no insults. Again, no excuses.

All there was, was a blank, forceful stare shared between their blue eyes and a silent, simple nod before they both turned away from each other in their own rhythm.

Trying to gain distance once more.

Knowing they wouldn't succeed, but also knowing that the force drawing them together grew stronger with every move apart.

They needed to know just how strong it could get.

Because even if they were thereby heading for destruction, it would be preceeded by one last collision.

And this was their dance.