A/N: Wow! Thank you so much everyone who read my first fic and for all your amazing reviews, you really inspired me to keep writing. This fic follows the same timeline as Truths and Dares and Wine, Oh My, but reading it isn't necessary for you to understand this fic. The song I used momentarily near the bottom (THIS ISN'T A SONG FIC! One line is used to prove a point haha!) is The Tide by the Spill Canvas. Enjoy, I think you guys are going to really like this one :3
I'm looking to continue writing one-shots about their relationship for as long as I have ideas, as committing myself to a series is not a good idea seeing as I never finish, so these fics will act as stand-alones but will follow the same timeline for those who want to read them. So in saying that, here is part 2 of my Klaine 'verse.
Kurt was sitting cross-legged on the bed, textbooks scattered in front of him, forgotten in favour of the ever-knowing almighty Google. His frustration at the stupid text assignment he'd been given was only building as he trawled through different links about the influence of religion on Shakespearean culture, all either way too complicated or people who thought that their wisdom of "society was well into jesus and stuff" was necessary. He clicked a link to a forum about religion and society, hoping that finally he might find something he could use for his assignment. Suddenly, something appeared on his screen, flashing with an incredibly obnoxious image of cherubs.
"Jesus Loves You! Click Here To Find God!"
Kurt glanced away from his laptop screen that was now flashing the pop-up in a way that could only be described as violent, at the boy on the floor of his dorm room. Blaine was humming "Hey Soul Sister" under his breath, a frustrated look on his face and Kurt had to roll his eyes at how ridiculous he looked. He was lying flat on his stomach, scribbling away at something that looked a lot like it may have been a maths equation at one point rather than a mess of black ink. This wouldn't have seemed so ridiculous if it wasn't for the fact that upon reaching Kurt's room, kissing his boyfriend gently and stepping inside, Blaine had shut the door and grabbed the pink glittery feather boa that was hanging on Kurt's doorknob and strung it around his neck for no particular reason at all. It had stayed there ever since, and he looked like the most adorable dork Kurt had ever seen. It had been one month and two days since they had kissed in Kurt's bedroom, and Kurt hadn't been happier in that time.
Blaine was completely engrossed in whatever work he was doing and Kurt allowed himself to drift off into thought momentarily. He glanced back at the laptop screen at the pop-up and closed it. He rarely thought about religion, being atheist, but he had found that lately he had a lot of unanswered questions. He would joke around to his friends that the only person he would ever pray to was Godga, but Kurt had once been pretty adamant about God not existing. Why would he believe in a God that condemns him for being who he really is? All Kurt had ever wanted to do was exist, and yet every single day he was at McKinley he was targeted for the fact that he believed love was about the soul, not the shell.
When his Dad had his heart attack, Kurt had been so angry. He was completely bitter. He'd had enough shit heaped on him by that point that he could do nothing but be completely inconsolable. His father was his world, he was the only person who had always been by his side and Kurt was expected to believe that him ending up in hospital, it was all part of God's plan? How fucking fair was it that "God's plan" meant Kurt had to go through even more pain? He had considered karma, and fate, but this just seemed like his entire world was crashing down and he hadn't done anything to deserve it. He had already had his mother taken from him, how could it be fair that he was now facing the fact that his father could be gone just as quickly? He was also angry at himself. His own selfishness, the things he hadn't said, hadn't done... and the things he had. His friends – well, they'd tried to help at first but Kurt had been so furious at them. He thought they didn't understand, couldn't understand. Then they had brought faith into it and it only made him angrier. Their singing... he'd felt like they almost weren't taking it seriously. He had been one hundred percent sure that there was no God. No doubts. But then, what Mercedes had said to him at church... She'd told him that he had to believe in something, something more than you can touch, taste or see. She'd told him that life was too hard to go at alone without something to hold on to, without something that's sacred. He would never forget what she said to him that day. At the time, he had held onto his Dad getting better. He had believed in his Dad. Now, there was something else that was sacred to him. Something – someone - else that was getting him through every single day.
He had to believe that there was something that had brought Blaine into his life. At first he had thought that maybe it was karma. His experiences with Karofsky, the hell he was put through, fearing for his safety, fearing for his life. Maybe Blaine was his reward for... surviving? Kurt didn't know. He didn't know how to explain away this amazing boy that was now in his life. Kurt was used to having all the answers – or at least most of them. It couldn't have been purely coincidence, so if it wasn't a coincidence – what was it? Did... God, or somebody, orchestrate their lives so that fate brought them together? It all made his head hurt. Kurt had always tried to live his life with faith, love, and acceptance, and he used to get so mad when people would use God as a spearhead for those things that should've been a part of basic human kindness.
"Kurt?"
Kurt snapped out of his thoughts to find Blaine staring up at him, an endearingly concerned look across his face. He had noticed how quiet Kurt had been and had been watching the boy staring into space for minutes now, growing increasingly worried as the look on his face detailed thoughts that were obviously plaguing him.
"Are you okay?"
Kurt was tempted to just smile, say yes, and go back to his work, but he was curious. He pushed the laptop off his body and turned to face Blaine, his face solemn. They hadn't really had many deep and meaningful conversations since they'd gotten together. They talked all the time, and it wasn't superficial, but they hadn't really jumped into the bigger things – beliefs and thoughts about their futures and so on – just yet.
"Do you believe in God, Blaine?"
Blaine looked a little taken aback as he thought carefully about the question, looking ridiculous for being so pensive in a glittery pink feather boa. The pen he'd been twirling dropped down onto his textbook as he took a deep breath, looking up at Kurt with his earnest and kind eyes.
"I used to, a long time ago. Now... now I just believe in something – bigger. Fate, destiny, I don't know what you'd want to call it. I do believe everything happens for a reason, that parts of our lives are planned out for us and that we all have a purpose in being here."
Blaine hesitated slightly, almost like he was considering stopping there before he took a deep breath and continued.
"I do believe there was a reason you went through what you went through with Karofsky. There was a reason you spoke to me on the stairs that day, of all the people that were passing you by. There was a reason you transferred to Dalton, bigger than Karofsky and everything that had happened. A reason you were meant to be here, for yourself, for your own growth. There is a reason we're together, Kurt. Hell, while I'm being honest here, you could say... I guess you could say that you are my reason. You give me faith. So when it comes to faith – that's what I put my faith in. I put my faith in love. I put my faith in us."
Kurt pondered this for a moment, a smile creeping across half of his face.
"What about when we die? What about heaven, and hell, and the afterlife?"
Blaine pushed up off the ground to settle into a cross-legged position more conducive for the conversation, and Kurt did his best to not notice the strength in his arms and his beautifully messy hair, as it was a completely inappropriate time considering the intimacy of the conversation. He failed, and smiled momentarily at how ridiculously gorgeous Blaine could be – and the fact that he never even realised it.
"It reminds me of that song, you know the one I played you last week by the Spill Canvas?"
"I think so, the one about the ocean?"
Blaine reached out to grab his guitar that he'd brought along with him, like he always did anytime he and Kurt studied together. Late night study sessions always inevitably led to Blaine getting frustrated with his work or finishing it and deciding that if he wasn't getting anything done, Kurt definitely couldn't. Blaine had learnt quickly that harassing him for kisses would just end up with Kurt annoyed because he saw it as "teasing". Kurt had been working like a dog since starting at Dalton to try and keep up the standard that he'd kept up with ease at McKinley, and even Blaine whimpering for attention wouldn't distract him. Blaine then quickly learnt that if he started playing his guitar, sooner or later Kurt would stop working to either join in with vocals or just watch, listening intently. Kurt saw right through it, of course, but as soon as he heard Blaine start playing there wasn't much he could do in the way of being annoyed considering he melted into a puddle of goo on the floor.
Blaine started strumming the chords to the chorus and launched into song.
Heaven's not a place that you go when you die, it's that moment in life when you actually feel alive, so live for the moment
He strummed the song for a few minutes and Kurt sat, captivated by the beauty of both the song and the incredible person singing it. He couldn't explain Blaine, not with God, or with logic, but he didn't care anymore. Blaine was here, and Kurt was living for the moment. This person he cared for so tenderly, layered with beauty, truth - was unbelievable. Kurt wanted to absorb every part of him. It was as if he had been darkness, suffering at McKinley and then along came Blaine – full of light, and he had shone so brilliantly that Kurt wasn't even surprised that he was still blinded by him every single day. He had stirred something in Kurt that he'd thought he'd given up on a long time ago – the idea that he could be deserving of real, honest love. He felt his eyes well up slightly as he watched him play, and when he finally strummed the last chord it took all of Kurt to not burst into tears of joy and overwhelming emotion. Suddenly, Blaine spoke.
"Heaven... Hell... I don't know about either. What I do know, is that I feel alive with you Kurt. I'm not the scared little boy who was bullied at my old school and I'm not the Dalton senior who's trying so hard to be right all the time. I'm just me, flaws and all, and when I'm with you I'm okay with them. I don't have to... pretend to be anything, not for you, or for myself because you are everything for me just by existing and that's enough. That's enough for me. You are my heaven, Kurt."
Blaine blushed slightly at his last sentence, resting the guitar back against the dresser. Kurt just looked at him with love in his eyes. There were no words; Blaine always left him speechless, unable to express just how much he meant to him, just how much he was. He was everything. As corny as it had been, Kurt could do nothing but quietly step off his bed, and outstretch his hand to pull Blaine up to him for a kiss. He stared into his eyes, captivated by the eyes of the boy who had given him faith in everything. Faith in himself, in his future, and most of all, faith in true love.
