Going For Broke
By S-Chrome

Disclaimer: They're not owned by me... I think you can see that.

Chrome Warning Label: Avert your eyes at times, people. That's all I can say...

Welcome back to my world.

Wait a minute, hood... What world are we talking about exactly?

Ron Stoppable got out of bed and ambled over to his dresser with a noticeable spring in his step. Today was the three month anniversary of his relationship with his girlfriend, Kim Possible. To celebrate, they were going to go to the mall, the movies, do some illegal gambling, see a real live cockfight, play cops and robbers, and to top it all off, make out until either they were tired or until her father chased him off with a double-barreled shotgun. It was going to be a bon-diggity day, whether he was caught gambling or if Mr. Dr. P. did end up pistol whipping the young teenager. There was one little foible in this day though.

Go to the mall? That actually sounded a lot more like him being dragged off to Club Banana between the span of two and five hours and her buying a wardrobe full of the latest fashions and having him carry all of the cargo. That wasn't great... In fact, it was more painful than great. Adding to that, she was taking full over-advantage of the Undeserving Boyfriend Act of 1983. Everybody knew that this act was unfair.

Well, those who lived after 1983 anyway.

Bag after bag, after bag, after hernia, after surgery, after walking about with a cane like any common cripple... Ron cringed violently. Carrying bags wasn't exactly what he was looking for in this relationship. Being 5'10 and about 145 didn't bode well for the young man. He sighed, there wasn't much of a way to get out of this mall business without balking on the rest of the day. Bailing on his girlfriend would drop his overall BF Rating to below a 55... and he didn't need that right now. He literally had to have pain before his pleasure... and an average BF Rating for that matter. It was sort of a packaged deal that way... Ron carries bags... Ron gets loooooving at least six hours later... Packaged deals... Sort of like in comedy sitcoms where the token black guy teaches the awkward white nerd the intricacies of style, rhythm, dancing properly, and of course, slang from tha streets.

"I hate you, Will Smith," Ron yelled to anyone who would listen... Including Will Smith.

Serenity Prayer be damned, Ron hated the things he couldn't change.

This particular set-up reminded him of another immovable fix that he was in... This one a lot closer to himself. He would attempt to gather up the nerve to tell someone about it, but he would never follow through on it. Who would understand? The blond took a long glance at the mantelpiece and saw a familiar frame; Kim and himself, hand-in-hand at the junior prom almost four months ago.

Fine product placement... niiiiice.

Telling her this could potentially be damaging to her and their relationship. This thing had been nagging him for many months now, and he just had to get it out in the open. The possibility of hurting Kim wasn't a chance he was willing to take...Or was it? Maybe it would be good for the both of them... and maybe it would it help them out in the long run. Or maybe it would destroy everything that they built over the years.

And maybe some people are too damn vague for their own good.

"Ron, what's wrong?" A soothing voice asked him.

"You... You're what's wrong," The blond retorted.

"Come now, Ron, don't be like that," The voice said. The blond felt a pair of arms encircle his waist... He tried to escape the grasp, but found it quite impossible to do so. Add to that the fact that it almost felt... comforting.

This was so very wrong. But it felt so very right... and whatnot.

The teenager let his defenses down and allowed himself to be embraced by this... intruder. Why didn't he find this kind of happiness with his girlfriend of three months? Why couldn't he spontaneously change the person in his bedroom with him? It was something that the young man couldn't understand and couldn't control. The reality of the situation was that Ron Stoppable was in his bedroom being held by someone that wasn't his girlfriend... and he really didn't care.

"Doesn't that feel better?"

"Yeah... I guess so," A relieved Ron said. "But... What am I going to tell Kim. It's not going to be long until she find out about this."

"You are so naive... The only way she'll know is if you tell her."

"It's good thing I don't take your advice."

"It's good that you don't, if you did, you'd actually be a little more intelligent."

"Now why must you insult me?"

"Because I've got to be me, that's why."

A blaring, hurtful truth to all people in every town and country... and whatnot. Ron had no reply to that statement... just some overused lament that he heard from some movie.

"Drew Lipsky, I wish I could quit you!" Ron whined. Jack Twist he ain't...

"Then why don't you?" Drakken challenged. Once again, the teenager found it extremely difficult to answer. The freckled boy turned his back on the scientist and let out a defeated groan.

"I don't know," He muttered.

"Lucky for you, I know why," The doc said softly. He placed a hand on Ron's shoulder and felt a twinge of surprise when the blond clasped it with his own.

"Then, why?" Ron asked, looking directly into the doctor's brown eyes.

"Because... I'm your..."

Ron nodded. "Yeah?"

"...Sexual blueberry."

"Sexual blueberry?"

That even surprised me... Sexual blueberry? What the hell?

"That's right my young buffoon. You can't get rid of me because I'm your sexual blueberry," Drakken boasted. Ron was aghast... to say the least. He thought Drakken, or... Drew was going to say something meaningful. Then again, he thought thatanother sequel to Scary Movie was greatly needed as well... In addition, he also thought that if he could try hard enough, he could stop another 50 Cent from coming out, heck, he also thought...

You get the idea then.

"Drew you are so whacked," An exasperated Ron said. There was so much frustration evident in the teen and the blue-skinned man was not mitigating any of it. "Just get your stuff and g-get out of here."

The doctor shrugged before gathering his belongings. Before he left the room, however, he felt something else needed to be said before he went on his way.

"Ronald, you would be a lot less stressed if you would just be honest without yourself and admit the truth."

Sage words... "Admit what truth?"

"Admit the truth that... I'm your sexual blueberry."

The slam of the door came so fast that the blond didn't even catch the ear-to-ear grin on the mad scientist's dace. With an even more grim outlook of what was to come, the blond racked through his closet to find something reputable to wear.

This was going to be one long and frustrating day.

The End

Yes, folks. Rokken for all y'all... and what-not. I don't think I need to say that this is my first full stab at slash. But I just did, soooo...

Drop a review, or a flame if your one of those... fundamentalistas.

S-Chrome