Everyone wants to be normal,
when in reality normalcy is just a big pile of bullshit. Who's normal to
begin with? We try so hard to be normal, that in the end, we're not normal.
Normalcy is a lie, a big
white lie... maybe if we stopped pretending to be something we're not,
we can see that the best people we can be, is us.
But of course, why am I preaching
about being proud of the people we are? I pretend to be the best friend
of Vince McMahon, I follow him around like a little puppy dog, always trying
to hug him. When in reality, I can't stand the guy, he really gets on my
nerves, but I am holding on to him, because once I let him go, what do
I have?
A marriage?
What marriage? Me and Debra,
we hardly talk when we're alone, there's no communication there, no love...
no understanding.
I got no real friends, I
kicked the shit out of the only REAL friend I had, there is no way
I can undo the damage I have created.
But all that doesn't matter,
because at the end of the night, I have my championship belt right? That
is all that matters to Stone Cold Steve Austin right?
Wrong.
This belt, sure in the beginning
it meant the world to me, but it don't mean shit anymore. The belt is empty,
I didn't win this on my own, I cheated for it... I became a sell-out for
it, I sold all my humanity for that belt, a belt that is an empty victory
now. It holds me down now, it tries to drown me, it's useless... it's not
worth it.
The Rock, Kurt Angle, Triple
H... all former champions, they all won the belt fair and square, they
didn't need any help to win it, they didn't need to betray everything they
stood for to win the belt.
I have nothing...
Well that's a lie too.
I got Stephanie.
Oh big shocker there huh?
Yes, I have Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley.
Out of them all, she understands me, she understands me completely. She
doesn't presume she knows what makes me tick, she just doesn't assume that
she sees the *real* me.
Despite what everybody sees
on tv, me and Stephanie are close, more close then she knows. Stephanie
is different from everybody in the WWF, she doesn't judge me, partially
because if she judged me that would give me the right to judge her, and
her life is nowhere near the perfect life.
She's married to a man who's
married to his work. Her father is married to the WWF and currently trying
to find a way to destroy Shane McMahon. Her mom is god knows where, and
she doesn't like her mom anyways. And her brother is too busy trying to
destroy the WWF to spend a little quality time getting to know his little
sister.
And I am married to a woman
I hardly speak to. I can't stand Triple H or Vince.
So pretty much, me and Stephanie
are all we have. It's fitting that we bonded out of everybody, it just
happened one day, we had lunch, we talked... we became friends. We're those
type of friends you can go to when your day sucks and you need someone
you can bitch about it too, well yeah that's us.
It started out simple, a
phone call here and there to bitch about our days to each other, small
talk chats backstage.... the regular friendship stuff you know? But then
I started seeing things about Stephanie....
How she sticks strands of
her brown hair behind her ear when she's talking, or how when she's nervous
she bites down on her bottom lip... she does these little things that I
seem to notice... and then she'll smile at me, and I'm over the edge.
Have you ever had someone
smile at you and feel incredibly just amazed? Amazed by their beauty? That
is what Stephanie does to me, she's so beautiful, it makes me feel *weird*
and in a good way. She amazes me....
Everytime our eyes meet
This feeling inside me
Is almost more than I
can take
Baby when you touch me
I can feel how much you
love me
And it just blows me
away
I've never been this
close to anyone or anything
I can hear your thoughts
I can see your dreams
I don't know how you do
what you do
I'm so in love with you,
it just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest
of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that
you do
Baby I'm amazed by you
The smell of your skin
The taste of your kiss
The way you whisper in
the dark
Your hair all around
me, baby you surround me
You touch every place
in my heart
Oh, it feels the first
time everytime
I wanna spend the whole
night in your eyes
I don't know how you do
what you do
I'm so in love with you,
it just keeps getting better
I wanna spend the rest
of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that
you do
Baby I'm amazed by you
Every little thing that
you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting
better
I wanna spend the rest
of my life with you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that
you do
Oh, every little thing
that you do
Baby I'm amazed by you
Like the song says, everything
about Stephanie amazes me, and lately I have found myself falling in love
with her.
It's WRONG. I can't
fall in love with Stephanie, I'm married... TAKEN. But I look at
her and all that seems to go away and it's just us, she's everything I
have ever wanted. She understands me, she communicates with me, she doesn't
assume things with me....
ADULTERY.
Falling in love with another
woman, thinking about wanting to spend your life with another woman that
isn't your wife is wrong, and it's adultery. Even thinking about how you
two would move together, how you would dance with one another, how it would
feel to have her hold you is WRONG. I can't even begin to imagine
how wrong I am... how much I have wronged Debra by having these feelings
for Stephanie.
When you marry someone, you
have a obligation to stay true and faithful to them, you say them in your
vows, and you say til' death do us part... but there is nowhere in the
bible or in the vows that says there is a escape clause.
ESCAPE CLAUSE:
If the husband/wife shall
fall in love with another woman/man and if the love is true and not fake,
then it's okay to walk out on the marriage you are already in, no hard
feelings.
I don't think so. When you
marry someone, you're not supposed to fall in love with another person...
when you say you are going to devote yourself to that person, you don't
go and start devoting yourself to another woman, it's not how marriage
is supposed to work out.
But I have found more of
me belonging to Stephanie then Debra, I devote myself to Stephanie without
even thinking twice, and it takes all of my strength not to stay with Stephanie
instead of going home to Debra.
Normalcy is Debra...
Debra is normal.
Normal.
Stable.
Steady.
Simple.
But there is one thing that
Debra isn't....
She's not Stephanie.
