An Eventful Day at the Market
by Prathdrake
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A/N: Woohoo! Another ACHOO! challenge! The requirements were:
-Someone must say "Bring me chocolate, mortal!"
-The phrase "BAILAMOS!" must be included, which, in Spanish, means "we dance!"
-Must include SPAM
-Any Slytherin/former Slytherin should have a prominent role
********************************************************************************
Legal Stuff: The Harry Potter characters and terms belong to Warner Bros. Some ideas were created by Draco Malfoy. But don't worry about him. He's been all paid up. Hehe...........
********************************************************************************
"Shopping day!" declared Draco Malfoy, "Lets's go to Hogsmeade and get everything we need."
Draco, Gregory Goyle and Vincent Crabbe had taken a recent obsession with shopping. They had taken a bit of "girlification potion" in Potions class.
"We can't go to Hogsmeade," informed Gregory, "Look at the things on our list. We can only get those in Muggle shops."
Draco read the list. Chocolate, SPAM, dresses for the Yule Ball (maybe they had taken a little TOO much girlification potion) and finally, chip dip.
"I guess you're right," said Draco, "We'll have to go to London even though we're way up here in Scotland."
"Hogwarts is in Scotland?" asked Vincent.
"Yeah," said Draco, "Ten miles north of King Cross is Scotland. Now let's go!"
****
"Let's get cheese first," said Gregory, like a little girl.
"We don't have cheese on our list," said Vincent
"Oh I knew that," lied Gregory, "I was just...teasing." he got all "shifty-eyed".
"No offense," said Vincent, "But that was...stupid."
"Well, you're not very nice!" yelled Gregory. By now, everyone in the store was staring at them. Gregory went over in a corner to cry, which was odd because it was a round store. Draco and Vincent just stared at him.
"I think we should go on without him," suggested Vincent.
"Good idea," agreed Draco. They walked over to 'Ugly, Stinking Foods You'll Never Ever Eat Once You Buy Them' aisle and got a can of SPAM.
"Wait!" yelled Draco, "Before we buy SPAM, we have to sing the SPAM song!"
So they did:
"We like SPAM!
We eat it when we can!
It tastes so good!
Like it should!
Plus, it's cheap!
It's makes us leap(?)
We think it's neat,
That's it's so sweet!
SPAM is fun!
And now we're done!"
Scores of people had backed away from them with their fingers made into crosses.
"What's next on the list?" asked Vincent.
"Chocolate," replied Draco, "Let's head over to the 'Chocolate Lovers" aisle. When they got there, they found that there was...no chocolate.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" yelled Vincent, "We're all gonna die!"
"There's no need to panic," said Draco hyperventilating, "Let's go over to Customer Service and see what is the matter."
****
"What do you mean there's no chocolate?" yelled Draco, "Bring me CHOCOLATE, mortal!"
"I'm sorry, sir," said the nerdy employee, "The truck that delivered our chocolate crashed on a road near Bristol."
"Then you shall die!" shouted Draco. He whipped out his wand, ready to curse the employee, but the wand turned into a rubber chicken.
"Curse those Weasleys!" said Draco.
"Come on, let's just get the rest of our stuff," said Vincent. He pulled the stiff Draco away from the counter.
"I guess we don't have to have chocolate," Draco finally said. Let's get them dresses."
When they reached the bulk section, they found Gregory there.
"Are ya better, Gregory?" asked Vincent, "I'm sorry I was so mean."
"I'm better," answered Gregory, wiping a tear from his eye, "But guess what! I found that they sell dresses in bulk! It's really cheap! Only fifty-eight cents per hundred grams!"
"That is cheap," said Draco, amazed, "Let's stock up while we can!"
So they bought green dresses, blue dresses, ones with frills and some spaghetti straps. Yep. They just took the scoop and shoveled them into tiny plastic bags.
****
"Well that was fun," stated Draco, "What else do we have on our list?"
"Just the chip dip left," answered Gregory, "And look there's some right here!" He took a jar of "Heartburn's Spanish Chip Dip" from the bottom of a pyramid display. The BOTTOM.
Just as a reader would assume, the entire display toppled over into a heap on the floor.
"Maybe we should go," suggested Draco. They tried to look innocent as they sprinted for the door (if that's possible).
****
"Yep. We're just a couple of guys hanging' out, eating chips with dip!" said Gregory when they were back in the common room.
"You should really try some of this dip," encouraged Draco to Vincent.
"No thanks," declined Vincent, "I don't like red peppers."
"Your loss," said Draco as he munched a chip. Suddenly, Draco leapt up in the air and started clicking his heels and moving his hands. Gregory did the same.
"¡BAILAMOS!" shouted Draco.
"¡VENGA Y BAILE CON NOSOTROS!" yelled Gregory.
"What's wrong with you guys?" asked Vincent, "Oh, I get it! Since the dip was a Spanish mix, it turned you too into Spaniards and now we have to get you to eat an 'All British' food to turn you back into Brits, am I correct?"
"Si," said Gregory and Draco together.
"Boy, am I good," said Vincent. He whipped up some English Muffins with his wand and crammed them in the mouths of Draco and Gregory.
****
Thanks for making us normal again, Vincent. We owe you," said Gregory.
"It was nothing," commented Vincent, "Now let's play cards!"
"Okay," said Draco, "But have you ever noticed how the King of Hearts has a sword through his head........"
THE END
********************************************************************************
A/N: That's it! That last part was just to sum up the story. Hoped you liked it! Please review!
********************************************************************************
by Prathdrake
********************************************************************************
A/N: Woohoo! Another ACHOO! challenge! The requirements were:
-Someone must say "Bring me chocolate, mortal!"
-The phrase "BAILAMOS!" must be included, which, in Spanish, means "we dance!"
-Must include SPAM
-Any Slytherin/former Slytherin should have a prominent role
********************************************************************************
Legal Stuff: The Harry Potter characters and terms belong to Warner Bros. Some ideas were created by Draco Malfoy. But don't worry about him. He's been all paid up. Hehe...........
********************************************************************************
"Shopping day!" declared Draco Malfoy, "Lets's go to Hogsmeade and get everything we need."
Draco, Gregory Goyle and Vincent Crabbe had taken a recent obsession with shopping. They had taken a bit of "girlification potion" in Potions class.
"We can't go to Hogsmeade," informed Gregory, "Look at the things on our list. We can only get those in Muggle shops."
Draco read the list. Chocolate, SPAM, dresses for the Yule Ball (maybe they had taken a little TOO much girlification potion) and finally, chip dip.
"I guess you're right," said Draco, "We'll have to go to London even though we're way up here in Scotland."
"Hogwarts is in Scotland?" asked Vincent.
"Yeah," said Draco, "Ten miles north of King Cross is Scotland. Now let's go!"
****
"Let's get cheese first," said Gregory, like a little girl.
"We don't have cheese on our list," said Vincent
"Oh I knew that," lied Gregory, "I was just...teasing." he got all "shifty-eyed".
"No offense," said Vincent, "But that was...stupid."
"Well, you're not very nice!" yelled Gregory. By now, everyone in the store was staring at them. Gregory went over in a corner to cry, which was odd because it was a round store. Draco and Vincent just stared at him.
"I think we should go on without him," suggested Vincent.
"Good idea," agreed Draco. They walked over to 'Ugly, Stinking Foods You'll Never Ever Eat Once You Buy Them' aisle and got a can of SPAM.
"Wait!" yelled Draco, "Before we buy SPAM, we have to sing the SPAM song!"
So they did:
"We like SPAM!
We eat it when we can!
It tastes so good!
Like it should!
Plus, it's cheap!
It's makes us leap(?)
We think it's neat,
That's it's so sweet!
SPAM is fun!
And now we're done!"
Scores of people had backed away from them with their fingers made into crosses.
"What's next on the list?" asked Vincent.
"Chocolate," replied Draco, "Let's head over to the 'Chocolate Lovers" aisle. When they got there, they found that there was...no chocolate.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" yelled Vincent, "We're all gonna die!"
"There's no need to panic," said Draco hyperventilating, "Let's go over to Customer Service and see what is the matter."
****
"What do you mean there's no chocolate?" yelled Draco, "Bring me CHOCOLATE, mortal!"
"I'm sorry, sir," said the nerdy employee, "The truck that delivered our chocolate crashed on a road near Bristol."
"Then you shall die!" shouted Draco. He whipped out his wand, ready to curse the employee, but the wand turned into a rubber chicken.
"Curse those Weasleys!" said Draco.
"Come on, let's just get the rest of our stuff," said Vincent. He pulled the stiff Draco away from the counter.
"I guess we don't have to have chocolate," Draco finally said. Let's get them dresses."
When they reached the bulk section, they found Gregory there.
"Are ya better, Gregory?" asked Vincent, "I'm sorry I was so mean."
"I'm better," answered Gregory, wiping a tear from his eye, "But guess what! I found that they sell dresses in bulk! It's really cheap! Only fifty-eight cents per hundred grams!"
"That is cheap," said Draco, amazed, "Let's stock up while we can!"
So they bought green dresses, blue dresses, ones with frills and some spaghetti straps. Yep. They just took the scoop and shoveled them into tiny plastic bags.
****
"Well that was fun," stated Draco, "What else do we have on our list?"
"Just the chip dip left," answered Gregory, "And look there's some right here!" He took a jar of "Heartburn's Spanish Chip Dip" from the bottom of a pyramid display. The BOTTOM.
Just as a reader would assume, the entire display toppled over into a heap on the floor.
"Maybe we should go," suggested Draco. They tried to look innocent as they sprinted for the door (if that's possible).
****
"Yep. We're just a couple of guys hanging' out, eating chips with dip!" said Gregory when they were back in the common room.
"You should really try some of this dip," encouraged Draco to Vincent.
"No thanks," declined Vincent, "I don't like red peppers."
"Your loss," said Draco as he munched a chip. Suddenly, Draco leapt up in the air and started clicking his heels and moving his hands. Gregory did the same.
"¡BAILAMOS!" shouted Draco.
"¡VENGA Y BAILE CON NOSOTROS!" yelled Gregory.
"What's wrong with you guys?" asked Vincent, "Oh, I get it! Since the dip was a Spanish mix, it turned you too into Spaniards and now we have to get you to eat an 'All British' food to turn you back into Brits, am I correct?"
"Si," said Gregory and Draco together.
"Boy, am I good," said Vincent. He whipped up some English Muffins with his wand and crammed them in the mouths of Draco and Gregory.
****
Thanks for making us normal again, Vincent. We owe you," said Gregory.
"It was nothing," commented Vincent, "Now let's play cards!"
"Okay," said Draco, "But have you ever noticed how the King of Hearts has a sword through his head........"
THE END
********************************************************************************
A/N: That's it! That last part was just to sum up the story. Hoped you liked it! Please review!
********************************************************************************