KidxMaka4eva here,
Hi all, I am really depressed at this moment in time.
I miss my boyfriend, I can't get over him.
He made me happy no matter what.
I'm gonna miss him.
I wanted to write out my feelings,
So I wrote a fanfic for, Red – Never Be the Same.
Never Be the Same
Death the Kid POV:
I know you. But who are you now? Your eyes are nothing but two sad watery emeralds that glisten as light shines against the watery surface. You will never be the same. It breaks my heart to watch you suffer in the pain and sadness from the pit of despair that you were drove into. I just can't watch it…
I watch you walk holding your head down towards the ground, hanging it loosely as if the string that was once holding it up high had snapped and there was no use of holding your head that high ever again.
After everything that has happened, I can see right inside you that your heart has been broken, broken into hundreds of pieces. The good and the bad are both of what caused it to be that way. No matter how many times you picked up the pieces and tried to glue them back together, every word, every move, destroyed you even more.
You will never be the same.
Maka POV:
Everything hurts. It all hurts. The pain of the past, the pain of not knowing what the future is going to bring, the pain of not being able to let go. It hurts me. Tears me apart from the inside out, from my very heart, to my brain, revealing scars on the outside. But no one will ever know. I repeat, no one…
No matter how loud I scream, how hard I try, the words will just not come out. I cannot find the words to say I'm not okay. Just three simple words, but the amount of meanings standing behind it, there are so many to count.
Look into my eyes, do you remember, why can't you remember?
I hold my head down low, I can't stare at the people around me, I don't know who they are, I don't care who they are, besides one of them, I cannot let that person go.
Death the Kid POV:
She's even paler, her eyes are so bloodshot also. She doesn't eat, she cannot sleep. She cries, she screams and no one can help her. She writes out her feelings so she can get it out of her system. I only know because she dropped one of the pieces of paper in the corridor once. I called out to her to hand it back, but still she held her head down low and continued on walking.
I scanned my eyes across the paper and in bold thick black writing the words You are the only voice my heart can recognize where spread out across from one side of paper, to the other.
I didn't know what to do, so I held it firmly in my pocket and made sure no one else saw it. I didn't want her to know I had found that piece of paper.
Maka POV:
No one can hear me, why can't anyone hear me. I wanna kill everyone, anyone who has ever mocked me, they must all die. The rumors, the lies, the laughter. Everything! Anyone that has ever mocked me, they must fall to the ground in blood with pleading looks spread wide across their faces. All of them, except from one that is, only ever one.
I freeze, because I want him to help me, I want him to know. But I didn't know what to say, I never know what to say. My words mean nothing! They will never mean anything anymore! Never again, I will never be the same…
Death the Kid POV:
I remember the memories, the promises I made her. I told her I would never leave her, no matter what the consequences were, I promised I'd stay by her side. But she drifted away, she stayed away from me and didn't come back, as if I were an acid, her own personally acid.
Everything about her isn't normal, she's not what she used to be, she's so delicate like the softest of glass, even if a feather were to brush against it, it with smash within seconds and turn to tiny grains of sand.
She used to belong to me, but I was stupid enough to let her go.
Maka POV:
My best friend gone. My brother gone. My boyfriend gone. Everything is slowly going, like it doesn't want to be by my side anymore, anything I ever cared about. I NEVER REALISED WHAT I HAD UNTIL I LOST IT! But no one will no. No one will ever know that I feel this way, it's all mixed up in the tears, the scars and the confusion. They won't understand, what do I say?
I make myself sick, the amount of thoughts going through my head makes me physically sick because I can't let out any of the emotion. My face hurts from the fake smiles that were never well hidden but everyone else is blind enough to believe in them. It makes me shudder.
I just can't walk away, because after loving you, I will never be the same.
Death the Kid POV:
You wanted me to pretend like I never knew you, like you meant nothing to me. But if you were my everything, it's not that easy to forget in a blink of an eye. Nothing can disappear in a blink of an eye, it's a true fact, nothing is so fast as to run or fade away in that amount of time given. Nothing, I repeat, nothing…
The smiles in my dreams, they were all hers, but still… every single one of them was a fake, not once have I seen what's really hidden behind that smile and the eyes of hers. I'd give anything to rip off that expression and see what it is that she is trying so hard to cover up, anything at all.
Maka POV:
The way I felt with you beside me, I felt so warm and safe. Now, I feel cold and broken, like I was thrown around by some careless owner that now doesn't realize the pain that they have caused. They will never care.
My smile was used as a back up, when everything fell down I would brighten it up again, fake or not. But I never wanted my smile to be used for that reason, I didn't want to be use.
Whoever will mock me, will pay for ruining such a smile, but when I look down at the slaughtered bodies that will be lying at my feet, I will laugh because it will be their turn to suffer, and I will not give a damn. They will all pay, they will all be punished, I will not rest till I see every ounce of blood of the people who ruined what once used to be the perfect smile. They will all fucking pay.
Death the Kid POV:
I will admit that I loved her and it hurt so bad to see people around her laugh in her direction. I wanted to stop them, kill them all, but I couldn't move, I couldn't force myself to move, no matter how hard I tried to move a bone in my body, I couldn't…
She will be happy one day, and I will make sure every smile that beams from her mouth is the brightest smile anyone has ever seen, brighter than any star, wider than any ocean, I will not let anyone forget that.
She will never be the same, no matter what happens.
Maka POV:
You left me there, I watched you disappear, you broke my heart. I screamed and cried that day, I threw words and threw things like there was nothing holding me back, like there was no such thing as gravity. I'll say now that it felt amazing, I had never felt more alive in my life. I will never be the same as I was then.
I changed that day, the day where my best friend left, the day where it was ended because of the fights, the day the so called happy family fought and caused the brother to leave. I felt so alone, like I had nothing to live for. My smile had given up on me, as did everything else.
And I will never be the same.
Death the Kid POV:
I wish I could turn back time, and change every word and every move that was every made, from the last sound, to the last step, to where everything went wrong. But that day is now part of history, and it can't be changed. We cannot change our history, and once again it pains me.
I can't let you go, you meant everything to me, you always have and you always will even if you turn to dust and become nothing, I promise you will still mean the world to me. I promise you.
Maka POV:
What is music without a sound? What is dance without movement? What is life without pain and death? Happiness or sadness, heaven or hell. In a way there all the same thing, it burns it will not change.
There is nothing left that I can say, will anyone ever truly care.
Death the Kid POV:
She will never be the same…
This story is the truth of how I feel,
I want to open out and feel free.
Please do not judge.
The story is the truth.
The truth will be revealed.