CHAPTER 1: It's a great day

Well, it was just another morning in the CUTSTUFF HIGHSCHOOl town. At least, it was that way for me, Tengu McWangu. I live in a pretty nice house with my parents and I even have my own room, which is neat and all. However, it isn't too super because I have to go to the CUTSTUFF HIGHSCHOOl, land of jackasses and weirdos. Man, of all the places to go, I just had to go to CUTSTUFF HIGHSCHOOl. If only I'd stayed in Wisconsin... too bad Canada annexed them. Our old house got occupied by some freaks in Bombman, Iceman, and Burstman suits, so I set fire to the house and ran off to this new place. It's been pretty shitty, but I don't care because...

"It's always a great day to be Tengu McWangu!"

I said that at the breakfast table and my dad slapped me because "i was being a loser," so I threw my avocado waffles right back in his face and drove to the CUTSTUFF HIGHSCHOOl. On the drive there, I drove right next to the busstop for all the people who went to CUTSTUFF HIGHSCHOOl, which was crammed full of losers like that Gumballtoid kid and his best buddies Thunder and Watzup. I think one of them tried to backflip, but they suckd too much dick and accidentally slamed on some other guy's face. I wasn't really paying attention to anything else but then, so when the blus slammed into my car, I was really surprised, surprised more than Bombman when I set him on fire. Everyone got in the bus, and I got on too since my car was totled. Hopefully some other loser would find my wrekced card and tow it back ot my house, all fixed.

The bus driver was an asshole so I won't talk about what happened on the bus.

My first class was with Ms. Study. She's a total bitch and nobody in the school likes her, not even the principal or even any other teachers. She teaches math and shit, but everyone always just jacked off or something, I don't really care. Thunder flashed like everyone and Ms. Study sent him to the principal;s office, and then after that we had a pop quiz. Watzup said some shit, and Smash fondled some girl, but other than that the day was pretty much normal. I finished my test, handed it to Ms. Study, and went off to lunch.

If only lunch was as simple as the rest of everything...