The Beginning of Never [-Never- Land
"Ummm...uhhh- MOMMY!" The first sign of anything odd should have been the stuttering noble's child looking out the dining room window. 'Should have been' as in even the child's mother found herself too busy and ignored the cry. The second should have been more obvious, but hey, they are nobles. Rich fairies do not feel the need to pay much attention.
"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!" The supposed king, the brother of the dead king, Mufasook could not imagine this would be anything but a joke from the shouting jester. Who would dare attack the peaceful, wooded, isolated, Planet Pan? What would the reason be?"
"You jest," The rotund, ignorant, pompous and self-proclaimed, King of the fairies was smiling, sure of his absolute safety. Though his smile looked more like a smirk and his 'inside voice' more of a deafening boom, he was trying to keep to his trophy queen's wish of being nicer. Mufasook found this incredibly difficult when the dim-witted jester kept insisting that there were giants tearing down each tree and had almost gotten to the civilization of that acorn-shaped satellite of the larger planet known as Earth. His smirk morphing into a scowl, "you know this is no longer the least bit funny, jester."
"I'M NOT THE JESTER AND I'M NOT JOKING!" The normally calm castle guard was on the verge of an emotional meltdown. The Princess Tinkerbella had held her tongue and endured her uncle's ridiculous antics. Because her nasty step-aunt was trying to restrain that 'ungrateful little child' for the past five minutes, Tinkerbella had to wrench her arm away from the cold, bony, grip and give glare at second least favorite person . Rubbing her arm, having completed her staring contest with the Queen, she went to go see if the jester/guard was correct in his shouting. On one hand, she wanted the guard to be right because that would mean that her least favorite person, the King, was wrong. On the other hand, she hoped that the planet was not being attacked because that would mean that they would have to relocate. Relocation would require her to pack all of her things, and she just did not have enough time. The answer to all of these questions and quarrels lay in her scream. It appeared as if giants equipped with alien machines wanted to create a mega-mall out of Pan for the men living on the moon.
"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!" The princess scrambled up the unnecessary spiral staircase, in the confusion completely forgetting the two magnificent wings attached to her shoulder blades. All she could think of was saving her wardrobe. The invaders were actually human and the oddly shaped, alien machinery were actually bulldozers. Knowing that foreigners sometimes have different ways, Tinkerbella needed to protect her collections of finery. The well-established colony would need to flee.
Chaos erupts. Fairies, nobles and peasants alike, go into a panic. The evacuation ships built a millennium ago for who knows what reason were going to become very handy. The ships that had been a mystery were stored in a tower somewhere and could not even be dusted off; every winged creature was so pressed for time. Someone ordered the guard mistaken for a jester to collect all pixies residing on the planet, but the poor thing had fainted because he was so out of breath, yelling-at the king. Tinkerbella was so dazed, even with the memory of an elephant; she cannot recall how everyone managed to load into one of the two boats. She does remember, with a smile, that her step-aunt did not manage to make it on the same boat as she did. Unfortunately, before the adrenaline slows down and she faints from the excitement, Tinkerbella finds that most of the boat contains Mufasook's Mafiosi.
'Sites for emergency relocation seemed be in high demand, because this is lousy,' Tinkerbella snorts in disgust at the new place of fairy dwelling. The temporary castle was under a tent of fallen leaves under the dingiest tree in the entire city park. The boat had been directed to the city Chicago because Chicago was targeted as the home base of the Pan invaders. A secretary had been kind enough to leave Tinkerbella notes for the secret meeting that had taken place during her nap. This meeting, headed up by Mufasook and attended by his evil mafia, had concluded that they should take over this planet and claim it for their own. Apparently, Mufasook had grown even redder with vengeance, as each second of the meeting passed.
Tinkerbella had always been disgusted with her uncle. He had advocated war whenever possibly possible, whereas she had not tolerated a single fistfight in her presence for her short eight hundred-seventeen years alive. Her uncle only liked the sound of 'battle' rolling around on his tongue; he supported war efforts for power. Mufasook was too chicken to fight and too bird-brained to even suggest a strategy. The war that was to be waged on Earth would have to be stopped. A meeting of her own would have to be called.
The meeting did not go well. Only one fairy showed up and he meant to arrest her. Not that they had a dungeon of any sort anymore, but the thought it was counts, so it was still insulting. He orders her out of the so-called conference room, accusing her of trespassing and disrupting the peace. The area, as defined by the wall of litter fencing it was completely empty except for the two pixies and the twigs that Tinkerbella was constantly tripping over. The peace she was disrupting was non-existent, there has to be a being to realize that there is a peace. Trespassing would be a touchier subject because to explain that she was not trespassing would be to admit that she lived in such a dump. Indignant, upset that he would imply that she was a criminal she resorts to a classic, "Do you even know who I am?" Police fairy, finally realizing whose picture it is on his money, runs out of the vicinity with his tail between his legs. Which leaves Tinkerbella pouting that she hasn't an army to speak of, and couldn't possibly take down her uncle by herself? Then astounding the young princess, the dump she was so ashamed of before becomes a source of inspiration.
Thinking of a fairy tale by Lady Duck Tinkerbella sets out to find a legion of frogs. Lady Duck's Tall Tales had always portrayed frogs as having incredible valor. Quickly spotting one, she nearly lands on it when she flies over the hedge of debris. The fast find, Tinkerbella takes as a sign that she was doing the right thing. The frog was a life's lemon, an opportunity meant to be snatched up. She approaches the frog and commands it in her diplomat voice for it to take her to the frog leader so that they could have a chat. Maybe it was not the best way to handle the situation because the frog seemed to take offense and he made his opinion known, "Excuse me, miss, I think you have mistaken me for someone of a low, compliant rank." Tinkerbella does not almost fall over, astounded that something she thought a stupid creature, could talk and have an opinion. She really does fall over and tumble down the slight incline. The apathetic amphibian was still stoic towards her pains. He, the frog called Peter Skillet, couldn't help but shout down why he didn't give a hoot. "That's what you get for re-opening Pandora's Box!" Not understanding, Tinkerbella admits that she did open her jewelry box but her name was Tinkerbella not Pandora. The frog also confused now, "it wasn't you then? But… a fairy opened… you're a fairy… who opened it then?" Finally understanding, knowing that only her uncle would allow something so hideous to take place, her anger bubbles up and reaches the maximum. She could no longer pretend it was to save the humans and for peace to envelope the universe. Her uncle needed the humbling effects of defeat. It was war.
A certain loyal secretary leaving memorandums became very advantageous, for Tinkerbella and her newly acquired frog troops would be very interested to know what King Mufasook had in his agenda. The secretary had sat on in a particularly important plan during a smaller meeting, the plan being to order instructions. Normally that would be a normal thing for a dictator to do, but Mufasook wanted to take it a step further and brainwash his future citizens, presidents and monarchy especially. The scheme was to sit in the ear of the people too good to be swayed by the evils of Pandora's Box and tell them what they think. As soon as Mufasook was informed by his assistant, Smeedoc, that he had this genius idea, Mufasook commanded that Smeedoc script thoughts for his Mafiosi fairy comrades to whisper in the ears. Smeedoc was ecstatic receive such a responsibility, practically jumping up and down, nearly foaming at the mouth, almost wetting his pants, actually spurting compliments left and right at his king. Smeedoc does that all of the time, though, and his king's patience wears thin, "ALRIGHT. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, YOUR GOATEE DOES NOT LOOK HALF-BAD TODAY, EITHER. NOW GET ON IT!" Smeedoc stumbles out of the room, backwards, as is tradition, stuck with the old ways of never showing your backside to royalty.
Before the plan is planned, Tinkerbella was meeting the other frogs. The smaller half of the frog community looked to revere the frog Peter, look up to him as a father figure. Long-legged and less muddy, the remaining half looked down on him as a disrupting, rebellious teen that ought to be punished. When she asked that derogatory group reactions were mixed. Some put on a chivalry hat and asked if she would be providing armor. Smiling, Tinkerbella replied that there would be no need but she would be happy to mail order some, secretly craving to watch a fight to the death. She hadn't seen a good fight in a while, counting the ones choreographed for television. Most of the Peter-scorning group put on a coward hat, going against the braveness usually grouped with frogs, and whimpered. The princess assured them that there would be little to no violence and no need to worry but she accepted their refusal, not wanting to make another enemy. She liked public enemy number one to be the only one, and right then it had to be Mufasook. Even though he was the only family she had left, he hadn't treated her like family. Reactions from the Peter-followers were the most odd to Tinkerbella, They had not whimpered or requested armor or pay, but hopped excitedly, apparently at losses for words. Two of them even pulled out a bow and arrow constructed of tree bark and fishing line. Tinkerbella couldn't help but grin. They were ready.
After thirty minutes of spats and annoyed princesses, the last frog squeezes into the Pegasus-drawn-carriage. Two minutes later Tinkerbella finds her science textbook, so that she could read during the flight. Despite the fact that they were engaging in war, the entire day was very casual. The system of attack was very simple and as polite as anyone could make it. All the frog warriors would have to do was go up to the evil ear sitter and yank 'em out, and then throw them in the carriage. After lecturing them for a bit, making them watch an educational video on the history of pro's and con's of professional teeth whitening, and giving them a bop on the head with the newspaper they should be safe to set out into society. The princess was dressed in green today, the color of peace. And the princess being the princess had to stifle a yawn, because she had gotten up three hours earlier than normal to male sure that her hair and wings perfectly coordinated. She flutters her wings to signify to the rocking-horse turned Pegasus that it was time for lift off.
In mid-flight Tinkerbella finds what she was looking for in her science book. Under the heading 'Fairy and Homo-Sapiens Relations', the very facts that ought to make her aggravating uncle step down from his throne of E-VILE. HEHEHE. "When a human child laughs its first laugh, that innocent chuckle breaks up into one thousand pieces. These shards are the fairies of today. Only that same human can destroy a fairy that he or she had laughed. If he or she speaks the words, 'fairies don't exist,' or anything else containing that context, the fairy closest to him or her will die." Tinkerbella didn't plan to mention the last bit about the destroying. Mufasook would be sure to mangle the side-note into something helpful for his evil plan. The princess shuts the book and readies herself for landing. They had neared Destination One and Only: District of Columbia, United States of America.
The latest memorandum implied that all evil solider fairies were to be placed in the ears of state representatives. It wouldn't be hard to figure out which ones. Common symptoms of the possessed influential character were complaints of buzzing in the ear and an oddly shaped hearing aid. The whole pixie snatching occurred in about four point six minutes. The chariot was careful to fly behind the ignoring heads of the Congress and the frog tongues just whipped out and grabbed the fairies. Once the fifty-seventh solider had been secured, the chariot turned and the lazily exhausted frogs were flying back to home base Chicago squalid park. Filled with even more confidence, Tinkerbella leaves the hall and makes for the White House. Smeedoc and Mufasook were scheduled to be in the President's ears, subliminally messaging him during his presidential nap.
For a man of such high stature, he sure snores a bunch. Tinkerbella is almost deafened upon entering the Golden Napping Room. She doesn't try to suppress a giggle, imaging the torture her uncle was enduring. The president stirs and the princess jumps, a little nervous. Taking a deep breath, Tinkerbella saunters up to the left ear. They weren't in there. Embarrassed at her assumption, she ambles around to the right ear. Smeedoc was getting yelled at for not waking up Mufasook earlier and the President had a very puzzled expression plastered on. Tinkerbella, zealous and impatient, wanted to get the whole thing over with so she hollers at her uncle and his assistant to hurry up, so that she could get on with her life. She didn't want to spend the rest of eternity fighting a dope. The king of fairies and his brain are startled by the outbreak. The leader of the U.S. is still befuddled, and thinking he is talking to himself, "What is that incessant bothersome ringing?" Tinkerbella sarcastically comments that the guy is a real charm, very similar to Mufasook. Perplexed by the complexity of the situation, the king asks who was calling whom a dope. Tinkerbella, past frustrated, screams that her uncle is the stupidest fairy ever laughed. The president, a counterpart to the uncle in question, wants to put his two cents in, "fairy? But, fairies don't exist." That is how Mufasook died. He was the closest that a fairy could possibly be to his laugher and so he just keeled over. Smeedoc was stunned and depressed. Tinkerbella was stunned and disappointed. Her only regret is that she wasn't able to off him herself. While Smeedoc was miserably screaming out at the terrible forces that might have done this, and the U.S.A. executive branch was hitting his head trying to rid of the ringing, Tinkerbella was dashing to have a 'The Wicked Idiot is Dead' themed merriment back in Chicago.
Every surface is covered in green, the princess's favorite color. All fairies have congregated under the decorated, glorious, once-dingy tree, congratulating and thanking Tinkerbella and her frogs for saving them from doom. Every single gift is unwrapped and fawned over (presents are mandatory at royal celebrations) and the guests slowly disappear. Replacing her graceful diplomat hat firmly on her head, the princess goes to each frog that had served for her and gives them a hug. Overcome with appreciation she goes back to each creature, starting with the anti-Peter frogs and gives them a kiss on the cheek. One by one those snobbish, chivalrous for personal gain alone, frogs grow and shape into princes. They huddle and walk off, searching for some old kingdom or other. Then, six Peter-disciples line up, Peter Skillet at the end of the queue. As each of them is kissed on the forehead, they change not into arrogant princes but into pajama wearing little boys.
Tinkerbella is overjoyed to come by such odd companions because they do not act as humans have and ignore the fairy being standing in front of them. Nibs, Twins, Curly, Slightly, and Tootles told Tinkerbella stories about adventures they only half remembered as a payment for freeing them. The twins knew little so the princess told them to go off and find their bow and arrows. Tootles knows little so Tinkerbella gives him a shiny, spherical stone and let him sit with her to hear the other stories. Nibs knows several stories and promises to tell her them all, he just needed to have something sugary to eat first. Slightly sighs and inquires as to whether or not she's heard enough stories yet. The princess tells him that she's heard quite enough, omitting the fact that none of those stories had come from this group. Curly asks if Tinkerbella had any Lego© building blocks for her house, and Tinkerbella tells him that she does not have anywhere to live. Peter Skillet introduces his friends. Peter tells Tinkerbella that he'd changed his name to Peter Pan (same difference, he said) and her name to Tinkerbell. When she asked why, he'd explained that Tinkerbella was much too long of a name. Guessing correctly that she would never be asked if there was anything to be done, Tinkerbella asserts herself, "Peter Pan, please find me somewhere to live. I haven't anything but a wardrobe to my name." Tootles had wondered aloud if there was enough room in Never-Never Land for another fairy. Peter Pan, always picking a fight, said of course there was, they needed some more fairy dust to get back anyway. Without another word not wanting to add to the strangeness of the circumstances, Tinkerbella gives the seven children some pixie powder and waves as they soar away.
Finishing up one last line of business, Tinkerbella goes on a quest. Not a hard quest, just a time consuming one. She looks for years and years, but you can never really tell the time lines in unspecific fictions, so it had no consequence. When she finally finds it, she explains Never-Never Land and does the last polite thing she would ever do. She requests that it come with her to Never-Never Land, insisting that it would be very happy there. The little girl, once seen at a palace window calling for her noble mother, now an orphaned fairy, accepts. The sisterly pair goes to pass the second star to the right and then straight on till morning. The Lost Boys and Peter Pan, at one time a clan of frogs, welcome them home, forgetting that they don't remember who the fairies are.