Okay, so I basically just started writing this out of nowhere. I have an idea of where it's going but it's pretty vague. This chapter is sort of short cause I want to see how everyone responds to it and what they think of it before I head into a certain direction. All reviews are welcome. Seriously—if you hate it, tell me. I'm not the type that will be offended. Of course, it would be great if you loved it too )
Disclaimer: I do not own any of The Outsiders characters. Unfortunately, they belong to the brilliant S.E Hinton. I just borrowed them for a little ;)
Title: Serene Serena
Today I realized something. No matter how well you think you know a person, they never cease to amaze you. And even when you know a person's flaws and you try to pretend like they're not there, you realize that it's not worth living the lie or even knowing the person. It always seems to be the good and generally sincere people that tend to be scumbagged—yes, scumbagged by others.
I get into philosophical moods, if you'd even call it that, every once in a while. It's those days that I spend coming home crying uncontrollably that I sit and really wonder about people. Is it me? Can it be possible that I have to put up with everyone's bullshit? That drama has to find a way to crawl into my life, just when I've thought that every thing was calm, serene. Like my name, Serena. But no matter how right I think I am, someone is always there to remind me that I'm wrong. "It's a part of life. Everyone had to go through it eventually." That's what my mom tells me about being 11 and dealing with baby, bullshit fights. Let me guess—you never would've thought I was 12 Yea, well, I guess you can say I'm mature for my age or grew up too fast. Either way, school is the last place that I want to be. I rather be sitting in a jail cell with Dallas Winston than in my 7h grade class of 10 kids—more specifically girls.
It just so happens that today is one of those days where the girls decide to pick on me, for reasons I will never understand. Usually I walk to the park where I cry and cry and cry till there's nothing left, staying there till late at night, sometimes 8/9 o'clock. But today is different. About 3 months ago I was in my same spot at the park, the swing on the far right, across from the slide, when a boy decided to sit next to me, in attempts to find out what was wrong and cheer me up. And that's just what Sodapop Curtis did. He sat with me and didn't call me a baby for crying like my parents would. As much as I know these baby things shouldn't faze me, I can't help but let them get to me. I have no confidence—I've never had any reason to be. I can't stop these tears from falling. So day after day I found myself talking to Soda about what was bothering me, and he was there to listen to me and tell me not to let the girls get the better of me. Strange, right? 16 year old Sodapop Curtis talking to a 12 year old? Yea, I don't get it myself. But then again, it just goes to show how quirky Soda really is and that nothing's unexpected from him.
Unlike my usual routine of running to the swing and ball my eyes out, I stopped by the DX, a long enough walk to finish crying by then. I really shouldn't, cause soda has to work and I'm just creating a distraction, but I can't help it. He's the only person that can actually somewhat relate to me. And if I'm completely misinterpreting this, at least what he has to say makes sense. Ugh, one day I swear I'm gunna be independent enough to take people's bullshit without shedding a tear or looking to someone for guidance.
But today, I'll take that day at the DX and push being independent to the back burner.