A Little Bit of Nothing

by Kat Maximoff

Summary: James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Most people thought that their friendship - however odd it was - would last forever. Most people were wrong. tearjerker

Disclaimer: censored

They had always been friends. There was no doubting that. It was always Sirius, James, and Remus, with little Peter tagging along behind. It had started so long ago, as the train departed from King's Cross Station and the four boys found themselves sharing a compartment.

It was rare for first years to know anyone when they started at Hogwarts - unless they were purebloods and had grown up with witches and wizards of their own age, they hadn't met any other young student at their school. There were the lucky few with older siblings kind enough to take them under their wing - these kids usually ended up the popular ones, with plenty of older friends. Yet the majority of them were in the same boat - alone, scared, and rather excited for their first day of wizarding school.

It was like this that the four had come together. They had met on the train, like most friends did, and they had been inseperable ever since. It was more of a need, at first, to have friends and not be alone in the antechamber, waiting to be sorted. It was a strange coincidence, that these four ended up together. Some might say that they were perfect for each other, yet they were so different from the time they first met.

Sirius Black - the outcast. A rebel by nature, the boy hadn't lasted more than ten years in his family before the entire group detested him, save for his younger cousin Andromeda. She hadn't started at Hogwarts yet, and Sirius had no one. Of course, Bellatrix was there - but who wanted to be with Bellatrix? The queen of the Slytherins, Sirius's sixth year cousin was evil, cruel, and despised her little relative with a passion. Sirius was one of the little eleven year olds who was all alone on the train, but his huge personality and evident good looks made up for his confusion and lack of friends when he arrived at the platform.

James Potter had nothing in common with Sirius - save for a personality that matched the other boy's nearly perfectly. He was born in a large mansion outside of London, and had doting parents that bought him whatever he pleased. He was a pureblood, and had been playing Quidditch his entire life - he planned to play for Gryffindor in his second year. James was cool, confident, and above all he knew everything. Both of his parents had attended Hogwarts in their time, and James knew his way around. He was smart, and knew what to do with anything that was thrown at him. Anyone who had seen James and Sirius together in those early hours would have predicted one of two things - the boys were destined to be best friends or bitter enemies. It ended up the former, and the two were the closest of the lot.

The third Marauder, as they would come to be called, was Remus Lupin. A half-blood bearing a terrible secret, Remus never thought that any magical school would accept him for who he was. The mousy haired boy wasn't very much like James or Sirius; he was quiet and withdrawn, and preferred studying to making noise and partying. Still, he had a passion for pranking that was rivaled only by his friends,' and he was a clear voice of reason when they decided to do something too stupid.

The fourth of the boys was more of a pity charge. He was nothing - not good looking, or particuarily smart. Peter Pettigrew was a nervous wreck, and no one understood why he got sorted into Gryffindor. He was a pureblood, like Remus, and thought the world of the other boys. He was the outcast of their group, but he was sweet, and the four boys took him under their wing. Still, they couldn't help but leave him out on occasion, and Peter was often left behind to "stand watch" while the others did brave, hard things and had a good time.

On the train that day, those boys met and became the best of friends. No one knew how it happened. Four totally different boys were stuck in a box together for a few hours, and came out happier than they ever had been. That was what they shared - they were all unhappy, and together they mended each other's spirits and became the best of buddies.
Over the years the four spent together, they did everything. Under the nose of the greatest wizard of all time, they became unregistered Animagi - a near-impossible and daring task. The four of them explored, laughed, and above all pranked their hearts out. Hogwarts was their home - they knew no other. Every summer, they would return to their houses, but they wouldn't really feel it. James departed and went off to his Wiltshire mansion. Sirius sulked back to his London home, despondent. Peter went to a small house in the country with his mother and three younger sisters, and Remus returned to a house in Wales, where his overprotective mother wouldn't even let him write to his best friends.

They shared the best of times at Hogwarts - and they had the worst of times at home. Still, they didn't sulk about and mourn their times apart when they were together - there was too much for them to accomplish. They couldn't even spare time to think of their sadness when they were maraudering - it was a thing of the past.

It hit Sirius hardest, they say, when James died. The two of them had always been closest - Sirius had been best man at James' wedding. He didn't really know what to do with himself, except for get revenge on Peter Pettigrew, the boy who had betrayed them all. No one knows why Peter joined Voldemort - most say that when his life got too bad, and his friends continued to make him "stand watch" while they explored, he had occupied his hurt with something else. It's hard to tell why it happened - only that it did, and it wrenched Sirius's heart out. Peter didn't really mean for it to happen - he didn't really want James to die, deep down. Yet on the surface, Peter did what he was told out of fear - fear for his master, for the repercussions of his actions, and fear that he would have to spend one last day being alone and without his best friends. Sirius had gone after him to kill him - he had no more mercy for the boy. He had tolerated Peter for so many years, as he worshiped in the Marauder's footsteps and had giggled shrilly along with them. But James's murder rendered Sirius half-insane for a moment, and that was why he went after Peter. The worst part, however, was not that he didn't get to kill Peter, or even that James died. It was that he was dragged off to Azkaban, to sit in silence and relive the worst days of his life - the times that being with James had stopped.

Then there was Remus, the werewolf. James was dead, and so was Peter he thought. Without the help of Dementors, Remus's life too fell slowly to the ground. He couldn't get work, and survived solely on magical fires for heat and animals for food - his lycanthropy left him with hunting instincts long after the full moon. His parents had both passed away when he was a seventh year, and he had no where to turn. He ended up roaming the woods, scaring little children who went to pick berries and bemoaning his lost friendship. He was, like the others, forced to relive the worst parts of his life. His friends - his protectors - were gone, and he was alone.

Years later, Sirius escaped. Revenge was still on his mind. He had spent twelve years, alone, reliving his banishment from his family, James' death, and his hatred of his mother. All he wanted was to kill Peter - and to find Remus Lupin, the only person in the world he still trusted. He found himself at Hogwarts, living in a cave in Hogsmeade and venturing out as a dog at night. He was still hurting - the times spent in Azkaban had scarred him forever. Finally, after so many long nights alone reliving his worst nightmares, tossing and turning on the hard stone floor of his makeshift home, Sirius found them. He gained the trust of Remus, and nearly was free. Yet he wasn't - Peter escaped, and he couldn't live with James's son - Sirius almost thought of him as James himself.

In the next years, Voldemort returned to power, and Sirius grew weaker. Sure, Harry would visit him when he could, and Remus came occasionally - but he was being pursued by every Auror that there was. Finally, Sirius was summoned by Dumbledore and returned, not to freedom, but to the life he had always hated. The home was horrible for him - he hated it there. He and Remus spent a lot of their time together, reliving past good times and having a small bit of fun - but it wasn't the same. Everything had changed. Remus and Sirius both were scarred. Their protection from life was gone. Their lives had been horrible until they met their friends, and then they had been left to face their memories on their own. The scars went deep, deeper than the lightning on Harry's forehead or the lines down Remus's face from his transformations. They were deep, twisted into their very cores, and it was all Sirius could do not to break down into tears everytime he thought of it.

Then it came - a chance for escape. Sirius knew exactly what the veil was, and what it would do to him. He had planned to bring Remus with him, to fall forever into death and see James again, but it didn't work that way. Sirius died the way he wanted to - in battle, with his friends and mentors, fighting for something he desperatly believed in. It was the face that haunted him as he fell. He had meant to grab Remus, to drag him with him into the world beyond, but Remus had stepped back in fear. The only face that Sirius saw as he fell was his cousin's - that haunting, heavy lidded face that had stayed in his dreams for so many years. The face of something that he detested and despised with his entire heart, and that had stayed with him for many of his years alone - the face of his past.

Remus couldn't believe it as Sirius fell - he never thought that it would end that way. Sirius was a small medication to Remus, something that could help him aleviate his pain for a little bit at a time. Remus was better whenever Sirius was around - it did what his friends had done for him in the past - it helped ease the pain, to mend the scars. Remus Lupin was finally alone in the world. It was certain this time - he wasn't going to be able to do anything with Sirius ever again. He was dead - gone forever. And Peter - Peter was too far gone to ever come back. He was dead, or as good as, to Remus now.

Remus Lupin died alone in his bed at Grimmuald Place on September 2, 1996. Some say he died of heartbreak - forsaken in the world. Others say that his life was just too much for him. No one knows for sure. His body wasn't found until a few days later, when Molly Weasley came to check on him. Only four people attended his funeral - Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Dumbledore. No one else could make it there - or no one else cared.

Some say in death, all of life's questions are answered. It wasn't like that for Remus Lupin. All he knew was that the pain was gone and that his three favorite three people were back in his life - Moony, Padfoot, Prongs, and Lily Evans were together again. The scars only heal when death comes. Then, and only then, can past mistakes be mended, and lives completed.