CONTEST ENTRY FOR LYRICS TO LIFE CONTEST
TITLE: Affirmation
PAIRING: Bella and Edward
RATING: M
WORD COUNT: 5487 words
DISCLAIMER: The author does not own any publicly recognizable entities or song lyrics herein. No copyright infringement is intended.
SUMMARY: Edward Cullen is hosting a party on the eve of the release of his third novel. However, the woman he has loved for years does not know she was the inspiration for it. Will the disastrous night keep them from finally being together in his room?
"It's perfect…the book is fucking perfect. You are going to be the next James Patterson easily, especially after this party tonight. The press will have a fucking field day with you. I can already see the accolades you will get, and I'll be right there to field all the questions," Anthony said. "But I have one right now for you…why are you so hell bent on having her at the party?"
"You know why I need to have Bella there," I began. "She is the reason I wrote Affirmation. You can thank her later when you have a shit ton of money in the bank because the book is a best seller."
"Edward, I know this is none of my business, but if she's important enough to inspire a book, when are you going to come out and tell her how you feel? Life is too damn short for you to hold back. I've seen the pictures you have of her. God, if you don't do something soon, I'll put a claim on Bella," he said with a small chuckle.
I looked over at my publicist and one of my best friends for the past few years.
"That's not even funny…you know how I feel about her."
"Yeah I do because you have a freaking obsession with her."
"It's far more than that. I fucking love her...do you need to read the damn dedication again?"
I shoved the chair under the table and began pacing around the room. Bella would know how I felt about her the moment she saw the first few pages of the new book that was coming out tomorrow. There was a copy of it set aside that I was going to give her tonight. That was the lone reason I agreed to have this ridiculous party at my house. She would be there, for the first time, and I would have my long awaited chance to tell her how deep my affections ran for her. Anthony was looking at me now, waiting to talk.
"Hey, I'm sorry if you were offended, but it's about time you let her know. Women like her are not common."
"Tell me about it," I responded. "I need to get out of here for a while. My mind is clouded with too many thoughts. I'll see you later tonight."
Once I left the office of Masen Publishing, I let out a long held sigh before getting into the driver's side of my Dodge Charger. It was one of the few indulgences I could afford, but Anthony assured me there would be more in the future. According to him, I was the next big thing in the world of fiction. I already wrote two other novels, but this one was different than the others. My heart was poured into the book. The main character was a criminal profiler who was determined to stop the sociopath who wanted to murder the woman he secretly loved.
As I drove back to my house, the sounds of Incubus were blaring through the speakers. The words…god, the words hit me harder than ever. The song was "Here in My Room," and I had flashbacks running through my head of college.
4 years earlier
Bella Swan was sitting under a tree in the main yard. Books were scattered around her lovely frame, and she was so deeply into one that she did not notice I was watching her. I knew her because she was Emmett's little sister, and he was my best friend. I had never met her in person, but from the way he spoke about her, I had a slight interest in meeting her. He described her as a social butterfly until she was caught up in a book. That drew me in further since I wanted to become a writer.
Emmett finally showed me a picture of her a few weeks before she moved onto campus. Even with my knowledge of the English language, there were not enough words to describe how fucking beautiful she was. Her doe brown eyes called out to me; I wanted to stare into them for hours. He smacked me on the back after I stood in the middle of our apartment while I was getting lost in thought over his sister.
"Shit, man, I never thought you would react that way to Bella's picture. Tanya never got to you like this, that's for sure," he said after taking a swallow of coffee. "Does this mean I should formally introduce you to her?"
"First of all, Tanya can't hold a candle to Bella, and secondly, when is she arriving on campus?"
"Dad told me it would be about two weeks. She'll need some help moving in if you want to be of assistance."
As if I needed to think about that offer for more than a few seconds.
The first day she was at the university, I was there, helping her with the many things she had brought from home. There were several times over the next few hours when we stared into each other's eyes. The attraction between us was undeniable. From that day forward, my heart and my mind were occupied by her.
Now I was only a few feet away from the girl that I loved. At some point, she looked up at with a bright smile on her face. I walked over to her, not even with a moment's hesitation.
"Pardon the interruption, but I've been told by a reliable source that you enjoy reading," I told her. "Is there a chance that you would be interested in reading my manuscript?"
"I didn't know you had one, Edward. Does this mean that I might know a published author one day in the near future?"
"If everything goes accordingly, this might be my first novel. Masen Publishing has a copy of it as we speak, but I'm far more interested in your opinion, Bella."
"Mine? Why do you care about what I think about your manuscript?" she said with a genuinely surprised look on her face.
Because I want to know everything about you, including your feelings about the way I write.
"Emmett said you were an English major, and having a set of fresh eyes to read over it would do me a world of good. He doesn't want to read it because you know he loathes books."
"Trust me, Edward. I am all too familiar with how much he dislikes books," she began. "While I almost lived it the library, he was busy playing baseball most of the time. At least he was able to get a scholarship here to Stanford due to how well he played in high school. Besides, if he had never come here, the chances are that we would have never met."
"You are so very right about that. Would you like to come over to our apartment with me? I can get the manuscript for you and we could get a bite to eat, too."
She looked over at me with a smile that took my breath away.
"I'd love that, but would you mind helping me pick up my books?"
As we reached for the same one, our fingers brushed against each other. I immediately craved more of her touch, so I took her hand in mine to help her off the ground once her bag was filled. She let out a barely audible gasp because I kept her fingers connected with mine during our walk.
"Please excuse the look of our apartment," I told her when I opened the door. "I've been busy writing, and Emmett, well I think he's more than happy living as an incorrigible bum."
The sound of her laughter filled the room. It was the sweetest noise I heard in ages.
"He's worse than he ever was at home, but my mind is elsewhere. Where would you like for me to sit to read?"
"It's rather long, so if you want to take it home with you, I don't mind."
We had walked into my room, the place I imagined her in night after night. She had no reservations about making herself comfortable on my bed while I searched my desk for the copy I saved. When I turned to hand it to her, Bella was sitting with her legs tucked under her body. The sound of my phone ringing filled the room.
"'Yeah, love is a verb here in my room, here in my room, here in my room.'"
Damn, any other moment would have been perfect for that song to play, but not this one. I excused myself because it was a call from Masen Publishing. She was content to sit and flip pages when I left the room.
"Hello Edward. This is Anthony, and I have some seriously great news for you."
His gravelly voice came out in a loud burst as he told me about the six figure deal the company was willing to negotiate with me. In a matter of minutes, my world was considerably different than it had been earlier. His words began to fade away as I realized my dream was coming true. After we were done talking, I walked back into the bedroom, and she knew that I had news to share.
"Don't keep me in suspense…what is going on?"
I let out a breath of air, and I was genuinely happy that I was able to tell her this news first.
"You are looking at a soon to be published writer, Bella, and—"
Before I could finish my sentence, she jumped off the bed and crushed my body next to her, and honestly, this felt better than knowing I had the deal. I could not resist holding her as tightly as she sighed.
"I'm thrilled for you, Edward," she said as I reluctantly let my arms drop away. One of her hands moved up to my face; I never wanted to feel another girl's lips on mine as much as I wanted hers.
"Put your arms back where they belong," she told me as she moved them back around her body. "Now kiss me because we can't keep fighting this attraction."
Bella's mouth was warm, softer than anything I had ever felt before, and I was not about to hold back for a second. She shivered when my tongue slid into her mouth; my hands moved down her spine towards the top of her ass. I pulled back only for a second to catch my breath, but we needed more of each other. Between the gentle nips and the way her tongue massaged over mine, I was in heaven. Our foreheads were resting together when the desperate need for oxygen took over us.
"I'm all caught up in you, Bella…more than words could say," I told her as I held one hand to her face.
She took off her id bracelet, opened my hand, and set it inside.
"Please do this for me…no matter what may happen, keep this with you. I know damn well your life will change in the next few months. I'm just starting college, but your career will take off soon."
"Wait…what are you talking about?" I asked her as I searched her eyes. "No matter what happens, we will be together. I…I have feelings for you that are growing more by the day."
"And I won't deny that I have them, too, but we need to be realistic. Your manuscript, from what I read, is brilliant. I'm honored that you allowed me to read it."
"Keep it, Bella. It's yours now," I told her. "Listen to me please…I know I will have responsibilities to maintain, but that does not negate anything that goes on between us. Don't think for one moment that I want anyone but you."
I took her face in my hands and kissed the hell out of her swollen lips. If my words were not enough to convince her, then this would have to suffice. Her soft sighs and whimpers made me want to never stop. Even after pulling back, I kept pressing my mouth to hers. When I took her back to the dorm that night, we shared one more kiss, then she looked directly at me.
"That song by Incubus is my favorite one by them. It will always remind me of you," she told me before sliding her hand out of mine.
Present Day
Her bracelet was almost always with me, in one form or another. The following morning, I was called into the office to see Anthony and the rest of the publishing team. Deals were made, names were signed on dozens of sheets of paper, and champagne flowed. It was really too good to be true for me, but I wanted to share this only with Bella. Now I had two books that were best sellers, but I was not nearly as happy as that day when I alone with her in my room.
The reason we were apart was all due to the fact that I moved to Los Angeles a few weeks after the first book came out. Anthony was moving to open a branch office for his father. Book tours, talk shows, and writing kept me busy for the past four years. Bella and I only talked frequently, but she sounded depressed over the phone more often than not. She swore it was all due to the stress of college and deciding what to do with her life. When I spoke with Emmett, I had to know if she was dating anyone, but he said she was throwing herself into her schoolwork. Part of me was relieved that she was doing this, yet the other side wanted to surprise her one weekend to take her away.
Even though I had a great need for her to be with me, she needed to finish school. Ironically, she was going to graduate the weekend after this party. Wild horses would not stop me from attending it, and I explicitly told Anthony not to schedule anything for that time period. Tonight, though, I had plans to let her know that I wanted her by my side. It didn't matter what lengths I had to go to in order to make this a reality. I was tired of being away from the girl I loved.
Now that I was home, the place was a madhouse. Caterers were in the kitchen making food that I probably would not care to eat. The bar was fully stocked with more liquor than I had ever seen in it. Several deliverymen kept coming in and out, setting up furniture that I completely disliked. The rarely used pool in the back yard had flowers floating in it. God, this was turning out to be some stale, overdone event. The only room that was free of the madness was, of course, my room. In fact, it was the only part of the house that was truly mine.
I kept Bella's picture on the bedside table; it was the one Emmett showed me years ago. When I was writing Affirmation, I looked at it constantly. As I sat down on the bed, I flipped open the book I set aside for her to read the dedication one more time.
For the woman who captivated me with one look, one touch, and one kiss. I love you Bella.
It was all there in black and white for the whole fucking world to read. Even if she never returned my affections at least I would have let her know the way I felt for all eternity.
Soon enough, it was time to hit the shower, get dressed, and force myself into the right mindset to greet the crowd of well-wishers. Emmett would be here in a few minutes, but Bella would arrive with one of her friends who was a junior editor for the publishing company. After he walked into the house, he knew I was antsy.
"For an accomplished writer, you certainly look like you are on pins and fucking needles. Get something to drink already," he said while walking over to the bar.
"I don't want anything. My mind needs to be clear because I want to remember all the details about tonight," I told him while he poured a shot of rum.
"Bella sent me a text message, and she will be here in thirty minutes or less. Calm your ass down, Ed."
"That's easier said than done," I told him while unknown people started milling in through the door. Anthony came over, shook my hand, and began introducing me to empty faces. Too many women were flirting with me, but I kept looking over my shoulder at the front door. I pushed past them when I finally saw Bella walking in with another girl that I assumed was her friend. Too much time had passed between us, but she only looked more beautiful. There were not enough words that I could say to her that expressed how much I wanted her by my side all night.
"You look like an angel," I whispered in her ear as I held her tight. "I've missed you, Bella, so fucking much."
"I never want to be away from you again," she told me in the softest voice. "This is where I belong."
We looked deeply into each other's eyes, and I knew tonight she would finally hear all the words I longed to tell her. I let my lips brush over her forehead softly, and she let out a little sigh that made my heart ache for more.
We were in our own world, happily holding each other until I felt a tap in my shoulder. It was her friend, and Bella introduced me to Lauren, who was a little too happy for my taste. Unfortunately, she dragged my girl away from me in search of free booze and to talk to anyone who would listen to her loud ass. No, she had not won me over, nor was she winning over anyone else with her obnoxious behavior. I tried my best to stay near Bella, but, damn, there was this constant need for my attention.
One of the journalists at the party, Victoria, kept asking me personal questions that I was entirely uncomfortable answering. Why did she have the need to know if I was involved with someone? That had nothing to do with the book, and I was not about to give into her manipulative tactics. Instead, I changed the subject mighty fast and sent her onto the bar hoping the lure of alcohol would get her off my case.
For a few moments, I was able to locate Bella, but there was another guy standing too close to her for my comfort. I recognized Michael Newton from the office; of course he would be interested in Bella. He was the resident asshole who was on his third marriage. It made no difference to him, though, because he only saw women as something to use and manipulate for his own pleasure.
"Newton, I see that you have met Miss Swan, and I think it's time for you to meet my friend, Victoria," I told him as I turned his body in the direction away from Bella.
"Oh..hey, man..congrats on the book…where is this chick?"
"She's over by the bar getting to know Jim Beam really well," I said as I shoved him towards the blonde piranha. I looked over near the wall to see Bella giggling. She came over to my side, and I stroked her very soft cheek. Just for a minute, we were alone even in the middle of this hellacious party. Our faces came closer to touching when the sound of a scream from outside distracted everyone.
What the fuck is going on?
Before I walked away to see what the commotion was, I gave her one more soft kiss. I made my way to the French doors to see that someone had fallen into the pool; Emmett had his hands full while pulling the guest out. I, on the other hand, was at my breaking point.
"Anthony, we need to talk," I told him after I located him in the kitchen.
"Are you okay? It looks like you could use a drink to lighten up your mood."
"Seriously? No, I don't need anything to drink. I want this damn fiasco to come to an end now. The only reason you wanted it was so you could promote yourself. No one gives a damn about the book, and the only question the journalists have for me is if I am dating someone. The only person I want to spend time with is Bella. You of all people should know that."
"What do you expect me to do? Throw people out of your home?"
"You are exactly right, and, if you don't do it, I sure as hell will," I told him before walking out of the room.
Lauren came stumbling past me towards Bella, and something told me to stay close by for the next few minutes. She was definitely drunk; you could tell by the way she was flailing her arms and screaming obscenities.
"This place is…Edward is…fucking loooooaaaaddddeeeedddd, sweets…marry his ass tomorrow or I…I'll find my…way under him…I can pleasure him waaayyyyy more…than you ever could."
"Lauren, I think you need some fresh air. Why don't you go on out the front door?" I asked as I tried to get her out, but then she threw up all over Bella.
I was about to say something, but my girl beat me to it.
"Excuse me, Lauren, but I'm afraid you will be leaving," Bella said as she jerked her friend by her arm, rushing her out of the room toward the front door.
"Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey…wha'd I do wrong?"
"For starters, you puked all over me, which should be very embarrassing for you. Secondly, you have behaved like an uncouth, asinine, and disrespectful troll ever since we walked into Edward's house. I will no longer call you my friend. If you come by my house again, I will not hesitate to call the police to have your ass arrested for trespassing," she said as she threw her out the door.
I fell even harder for her as she slammed the door behind Lauren, but I needed to get her away from leering eyes.
"Can you lead me to the bathroom, Edward?" she asked.
I took her upstairs to the master bathroom that adjoined my room to give her ample privacy while I dealt with the shit storm downstairs. As much as I didn't want to leave her, I knew this party, if you could call it that, needed to come to an end. In a matter of minutes, the rooms were clear of guests who were as interested in Affirmation as much as I was in their pitiful lives. I bid Anthony and Emmett good night as I felt the bracelet in my pocket. The silence of the house was welcome relief, and I could care less about the horrible aftermath I would deal with in the morning. For now, I had my golden opportunity to give Bella all of my attention.
As soon as I walked into the bedroom, I noticed that the bathroom door was cracked open.
"Are you alright? Please tell me if there is anything I can do."
"Edward, I need you to come in here," she instructed.
After opening the door, I found her lying in my bathtub, covered in bubbles. Seeing her like this made up for the time we spent apart, but we had much to make up for tonight. I wanted to fall to my feet to worship her, to let her know that she was all I ever wanted. After taking a few steps closer to her, I knew she needed to hear the things of my heart.
"Before we move forward in our physical relationship, there is something I want to read to you. Trust me when I say that I don't want to spend another second away from you. But I need to get this one thing."
I stepped out of the bedroom just for a moment, and inspiration struck me. After telling her I would be right back, I went down to the living room to grab one of the flower arrangements. There was a stash of candles in the hall closet. For the next few minutes, I set up the bedroom for a romantic night for the two of us. I grabbed the book before going back into the bathroom. Damn, she looked perfect waiting there for me. After closing the door, I let out a deep sigh.
"When I wrote this book, you were the inspiration, and I dedicated it to you, Bella," I told her as she moved closer to the edge of the tub. She brought her hand to her mouth after I read the dedication.
"I've dreamed of the moment when you would say those very words to me, and I'm so deeply in love with you, Edward…forever."
I took her face in my hands like I did the very first time we kissed. This time, it was more passionate and filled with need than the first time. Our tongues slowly tangled together; her wet fingers were running through my hair. We looked at each other and knew the time was right for us to make love. I stood up to strip out of my clothes before lifting her out of the tub to carry her to bed.
"This is the start of our life together," I told her as I carefully lowered her to the petal covered mattress. "I can't live without you a day longer, sweet girl."
"We never have to be apart again. I've received an offer to teach in an elementary school in San Francisco. If you don't want me to take it, then I can easily relocate," she said while running her fingers over my face. I could not resist kissing them when she touched my lips.
"No, I want you to follow your dream. I've had enough of LA. The people here are self-absorbed, and I can write anywhere so long as I have my laptop. But I know what I need more than anything else...you and the love we share for each other."
I captured her mouth with mine in a deep, sensual kiss. Her arms were tight around my back as I lowered my body onto hers. The feeling of her bare body underneath me was exquisite. Our hands began exploring, loving, and caressing every inch we could touch. I moved my mouth over her face towards her ear.
"You've always been the only one I have ever wanted, Bella. I've kept your bracelet with me every day since you gave it to me," I confessed when I pulled back to look in her eyes. There was warmth present in them, the kind that reached every part of my soul.
"Your manuscript was always next to my bed. Knowing it was there made me feel like I had a part of you with me all the time," she told me before she leaned up to peck my lips.
"You always had my heart with you…every moment of every day."
I let my fingers brush over her nipples, and they hardened under them. Soft mewls escaped her mouth as I began to lick over them. Every succulent inch of her body was more enticing than I had imagined. She watched me as I sucked her nipples, paying each one equal attention. When her legs spread further open, my cock slid near her wet folds, and I nearly came from the sensations that caused.
"I…I need to tell you that I'm…I'm on birth control, Edward," she said.
I could not stop the smile that came over my face.
"Sweet girl, I take it that means we don't need to use any other form of protection?"
"No, please no. I need to feel you inside me, all night."
"Don't worry…you will be fully pleasured till neither one of us can keep our eyes open," I assured her as I began kissing further down her body.
Her body trembled when I kissed over her hips, and the sight of her bare pussy made my aching cock leak. I teased her clit with my fingers while I kissed the inside of her thighs. The sound of her sweet moans motivated me to drag my finger between her folds. Her back was lifted off the bed; fuck, I wanted to feel how tight she was. Her fingers were tangled up in my hair when I began running my tongue over her clit. As I slid my fingers into her pussy, I became intoxicated by her very essence…there was no way I could ever get enough of her in this lifetime. Bella moaned out my name when I sucked her clit into my mouth; her orgasm was washing over her body. After I licked up all of her cum off my fingers and her pussy, I looked into her bright eyes.
"I need to be inside you," I said as I moved over her while I felt my erection brush over her folds.
"You know I'm more than ready for you to fill me," she responded as I began to push inside. "l love you with all of my heart, Edward. "
"I…oh god, do I ever love you, sweet girl, and you feel…so fucking good," I whispered as I held her close to me. Automatically, her legs went around me in a tight fashion. We shared deep kisses while moving in a sensual rhythm. All of the fantasies and illicit images I carried in my psyche for the past few years were nothing compared to this. I could never express in words how beautiful, erotic, and tender our lovemaking was. We gave our bodies to each as our wants and needs were simultaneously met. I felt her orgasm as she milked my cock, but it was only took a few deep thrusts before I came hard.
She clung to me as my body shook from the intense pleasure I experienced. There was no doubt in my mind that Bella was the only woman I wanted for the rest of my life. Once I opened my eyes to look at her gorgeous face, I knew there was something I had to ask her tonight.
"I've had too many years without you, and after tonight, I know that I want to build my life around you. Marry me, please sweet girl."
She blinked several times before giving me an answer.
"How can I say anything other than yes, Edward? I want to be your wife more than anything," she said before I captured her lips with mine in a searing kiss.
"But I have one request," I told her when we were wrapped up in each other's arms. "I want a small wedding because, after the disaster that occurred here tonight, the press would be all over us."
"Then let's get married on our honeymoon," she said while running her fingers over my face. "I used to imagine the feeling of the ocean breeze when we would say our vows."
Something about that sounded perfect to me.
"I'm assuming you would like a beach wedding?" I asked her as I let my lips brush over face.
"Yes, preferably sooner rather than later," she responded.
Later on that night, after she fell asleep with her head on my chest, I began to think about the possibilities of our future.
Three Months Later
"I, Isabella Marie, take you, Edward Masen, as my husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till death do us part."
She looked breathtaking as the sun shone on her face.
"I, Edward Masen, take you, Isabella Marie, as my wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, till death do us part."
Rings were slipped over fingers, a minister pronounced us husband and wife.
We shared a soft, open mouth kiss for endless moments.
Our future was starting right here where the ocean met the sand.
Song: Incubus, "In Your Room"
You Tube Link: www dot youtube com / watch?v=0IlPlKBXRHE