The funeral was in the near future. Luckily, he hadn't been the one with the responsibility of purchasing and setting everything up, her family did the planning. He knew that he wouldn't have been able to keep himself together. He couldn't speak the name Amber without breaking into uncontrollable sobs.
The open casket had gone as expected. He'd cried through the entire program, unable to control himself. Occasionally someone would spare him a sympathetic glance, or a small hug; but most of them knew better then to bother him. He wanted nothing more then to be left alone. He'd stood still in front of the casket for what seemed to be hours, and did not attend the meal afterwards. He did not feel the least bit hungry, in fact he hadn't eaten since her death which had been three days prior. He was now beginning to feel ill.
It had been Ambers open casket, the last goodbye. The last look at her now featureless face and the only thought running through his head was that this was no one's fault but Gregory House's and he felt ashamed for that fact. Everything, no matter what the case, involved House. Deep down, somewhere in his now broken soul, he knew this was nothing more then an accident, but he could not accept that. If he did not have someone to blame, he'd blame himself. If he did not put at least some of the sorrow he felt onto someone else, he'd most likely go insane. And who better to put this sorrow and guilt on then the man who had been involved in it all? The man who'd caused misery to everyone around him? Gregory House deserved this… Didn't he?
His thoughts had been interrupted after a gentle hand had been set on his right shoulder. "James…" He turned his head, his eyes rested upon Lisa Cuddy, the Hospital Administrator of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. However, she was much more to him then his boss, she was his loyal friend. She'd attended the Open Casket to be supportive, knowing that her employee needed a friend and House was not a good candidate for that at the moment being he was currently in the hospital...That and Wilson blamed him for all that had happened. He kept silent, his gaze still on her. He wasn't quite sure what there was to say. "You need to eat something…" She paused hoping to get a reaction from him. He kept still. "You need to rest…" He was now staring at his hands; tears slowly running down his cheeks. "I...Can't." Everything was gone, and nothing mattered.
Not anymore.
I lose inspiration easily. Help me people, review if you like it!