A/N: Just a quick little ficklet I thought up after watching the TOS episode "The Nakes Time". Probably OOC, and for that, I'm sorry. It's my first try with Spock so... I'll improve eventually! I hope.
450 words exactly. Not even on purpose! Now that, I find awesome.
I am in control.
Spock stumbled slightly as he walked through the halls on the Enterprise. The Narada was defeated; it was over. They had saved earth.
I control my emotions. They do not control me.
That didn't change the fact that his mother was gone. Didn't change the fact that it hurt.
You are weak! Hisses a small part in the back of his mind.
He doesn't manage to make it to his own room, instead settling on the Rec Room. There's no one there, and for that, he is thankful.
His back presses against the wall just beside the door, and he belatedly hoped no one will walk in on him, as tears are already welling in his eyes.
Emotions suppressed for days are overflowing, and Spock can't help but feel disgusted with himself. He is a Vulcan darrnit! He should be able to take these feelings and bottle them up, push them back to some far corner of his mind, never to be seen again, not succumb to them! What would Sarek say if he were to come in? His son, crying and giving in to his human half, Vulcan teachings being discarded in an instant of pure, raw feeling. He'd probably be disgusted with him too.
His knees are pulled up to his chest now, head in hand as he snivels like a young human child on the floor. All he can think about is what might happen if someone were to walk in and see him like this. He dearly hopes that won't happen.
Of course his hopes are crushed.
The soft whirr of the door as it opens makes him snap his head up, and his cheeks flush a dark green as he sees who it is.
James Kirk,
His Captain.
Kirk doesn't even seem to notice him, merely keeps walking. He finally stops at one of the tables, near the center of the room and sits down in the chair. A soft clicking of ceramic on metal rings though the air, and Spock tried to remain perfectly silent and still. Maybe he can leave before his Captain notices him…
He quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his science blues, quickly standing and is about to open the door when…
"Oh, Spock. Sorry. Didn't see you come in." Spock very nearly sighed in relief. Nearly.
"I was just leaving, Captain."
And he walks out without a hitch. Kirk makes no move to protest.
Within minutes he's in his own room, staring at the grey ceiling with the light dimmed to twenty percent, and no one will ever see the tear streaks leading down his temples at memories of his mother.