Hello, everyone. (Hello, everyone. You are sooo original.) Yes, glad to see you too again, Angelica. (Of course. You can't live without me.) Nope, you're wrong. The guy that can't live without you is Chuckie; I just need your services once in a while, like now.
(Okay, I'm on it. DISCLAIMER. As you guys already know, and if you don't, well, this is fanfiction, people, so you're not going to see the real owners of the characters posting anything here…) Angie, can you cut the chase, please? (Yeah, whatever. Anyway, Ramiro doesn't own any character portrayed on this fic. Besides the characters from Rugrats/AGU, like yours truly, we'll have special appearances of characters from another series copyrighted by Nickelodeon. Also, El Chapulín Colorado, the character he based Finster's superhero identity, The ColoRed Chuck, is property of Mexican network Televisa and his creator, Roberto Gomez Bolaños, aka "Chespirito".)
Thanks, Angelica. As she just said, in this story we'll have many characters from other series playing several roles; all of them will be around their twenties, just like Chuckie and Angelica in The ColoRed Chuck's fanfics.
Also, this story is set right after my first one with Chuckie's superhero ID, "The ColoRed Chuck". In other words, Angelica will not appear on the story… (Yes, I need a break.) Ehem! As I was saying, she will not appear on the story, but, according to the continuity of The ColoRed Chuck's universe, she and Chuckie had been dating for a while at this moment. And also, following the formula of my previous stories, The ColoRed Chuck doesn't appear at the beginning, since I'll use chapter one to prepare the story's background.
(Okay, enough talking. Get ready for another story with my favorite geek in the most ridiculous superhero's outfit ever!) Good thing he is your favorite. (On with the show!)
KILL-A-LOT KID.
A Rugrats/AGU fic by Acosta Pérez José Ramiro.
Faster than a speeding turtle!
Stronger than a mouse!
More noble than a lettuce!
His shield is a heart!
He is… The ColoRed Chuck!
-KNOW YOUR VILLAIN.
Despite the modern times we are living now, there are still some little towns here and there with a lot of old-ages style and way of life, usually far away from the main cities. One of these towns is Nicksville, a western style village. It's a very nice way to live, really, unless those times when they receive the visit of Sean Butler, also known as…
"Kill-A-Lot Kid! He is coming this way!" A chubby guy in a cowboy's outfit entered the local saloon, running through the classical oscillating doors. Everyone in the place got shocked expressions.
"Hoods, are you sure you saw Mister Kill-A-Lot?" Stinky Peterson, the saloon owner, a tall and skinny guy with a large nose, wearing the classical bar-tender's outfit, asked the little guy, who now was under a table.
"Of course he is! Who can confuse him?" Hoods said, covering his face.
A moment later, everyone turned to the door, hearing the unmistakable sound of boots with spurs. The oscillating doors were bigger than usual, so you could only see the hat and the legs of the guy who was about to enter, unless he was really tall; this time, everyone saw a black cowboy hat, black jeans and black boots. A moment later, Kill-A-Lot Kid entered the saloon, with an evil smile plastered on his face, while a classical "villain entrance" piano music was heard.
"Nice music, Chocolate Boy." Sean directed to the saloon's pianist, nicknamed Chocolate Boy (even if he was almost 21 by now) because he was always drinking chocolate milk while playing. Of course, the piano's keys weren't exactly the cleanest, but where else you get a guy who accepts half of his payment in chocolate?
"Yes, yes… please don't kill me… or at least, let me drink more chocolate first!" The pianist said in fear while taking a big sip from his chocolate milk's jar to calm his nerves. Stinky, sweating walked next to Kill-A-Lot while motioning some of his customers to clear a table for him.
"G-g-good morning, Mister Kill-A-Lot… what would you like to drink?" Stinky said, trying to keep his cool. Sean smirked at the tall guy, and sat on the table he had cleared for him.
"Yahoo. A big bottle, and be generous with the ice. Ah, and make your doll to serve it to me." Kill-A-Lot said to Stinky, in a half-mocking, half-menacing tone. Stinky nodded, and walked behind the counter (the classical western one, with a large mirror and several shelves with bottles behind it) to serve the criminal's order. He then placed all in a tray, and passed it to his associate, Miss Lila Sawyer (a red-haired girl wearing a green waitress' dress and white boots) so she could attend the villain.
"Here it is, Mister Kid… uh, that sounded like an oxymoron, don't you think?" Lila said while setting the bottle and the glass in the table, trying to be nice, as she usually was with the other customers. Sean raised an eyebrow at her.
"Don't use that language with me, babe. I don't read dictionaries… actually, the only thing I read is the newspaper obituary, to know the name of the guys I eliminate." Sean said, laughing evilly at the last part. He drank his Yahoo in a few seconds. Then, he grabbed the bottle, and threw it to the air.
BANG! CRASH!
Kill-A-Lot shot at the bottle in a dashing movement, while everyone else covered in fear.
"This guy isn't just evil… he doesn't recycle!" Hoods talked to himself. Unfortunately for him, Sean overheard, and leaned to grab him by the collar.
"So, you don't like how I take charge of the junk, uh? Maybe you'll like settling this in a duel." Sean glared at him. Hoods got a blank look.
"N-n-no, Mister! I'm not a good shooter, really!" Hoots said, scared. The Kid smiled evilly, and gave him one of his guns.
"Let me judge that, okay? Come on, show me your skills." Sean said, pointing at the counter. Hoods grabbed the gun, trembling. Of course, Sean wasn't afraid of Hoods trying to kill him; he knew that he was just too scared to even try.
Lila and Stinky dashed away from the fire range. Hoods gulped, and, knowing he had no other choice, started shooting, hitting six soda bottles who were on the counter. Everybody looked at him, amazed.
"Hoods, that was really impressive!" Chocolate Boy said, excited. Hoods sighed.
"Not really. I was aiming at the mirror." He admitted, making everyone but Sean to get disappointed and sad faces. Kill-A-Lot started laughing like crazy while taking back his gun.
"You see, that's why I don't kill you, or Stinky, or the sugar-high pianist! As long as you guys amuse me, there's no reason to do it. Well, I guess is time for me to do my work; hadn't visited your bank in a while. Oh, and Stinky, put that Yahoo on my special account." Sean directed to the bar-tender at the last part.
"The one where I pay for all your expenses, or the one I give you money to respect our lives?" Stinky asked. The Kid rubbed his chin.
"Make it half and half. Okay, see you guys later. I think this time I'll stay for a couple of days; there's nothing like a place where everyone knows you." Sean said mockingly, and walked out of the saloon, laughing, while Chocolate Boy played the villain's tune again before changing to a merrier one.
"I can't believe this! This is the sixth time he comes to town this year, and we're just in March!" Lila complained.
"I agree with you, Miss Lila. Where is our sheriff?" Stinky asked to no one in particular. A moment later, a short guy with a long nose, curly red hair, freckles, and wearing a white cowboy's outfit and a sheriff's badge, appeared from inside a barrel (hey, you can't have a western-style saloon without one or two barrels around).
"Is he gone?" The nervous guy asked. Lila and Stinky approached the barrel.
"Sheriff Horowitz! What are you doing in there?" Lila asked.
"Checking if there was some root beer left on this barrel?" The sheriff said, offering a lame excuse. Stinky slapped his forehead.
"Oh, please, Eugene! You are the sheriff! Why don't you go and arrest Kill-A-Lot Kid?" Stinky asked. Eugene snapped.
"Hey, I never asked to be the sheriff, remember? The only reason I got the job is because everyone said that, since I hadn't killed myself in one of my accidents, it's really hard The Kid can finish me anyway." Eugene said, almost crying. He lost balance, and then fell to the floor, barrel and all, breaking it.
"I'm okay." Eugene, half groggy, directed to the bar's owners.
"Well, he has a point. I don't think he'll reach an old age if he keeps suffering these accidents." Stinky said, shrugging.
Meanwhile, at the town's bank, the manager, who was also the town's mayor, Blake Gripling, wearing a blue blazer and a matching derby hat, was checking his books, when he heard someone ringing the bell of the bank's counter. Since this was a small town, Blake had to do almost all the bank's work, so he sighed and left his seat to attend his client.
"Good morning, gentleman. May I…" Blake stopped talking and got a blank expression when noticing the person the other side of the counter, pointing him with a gun.
"Hello, Mister Gripling. This is a stick up." Kill-A-Lot said calmly. Blake sighed; he had done the same thing several times.
"Yeah. I supposed that." Blake opened the security box, and started filling some bags he already had prepared for this event.
"We hadn't seen you around here in a while, Mister Kill-A-Lot." Blake commented while dropping the last dollars on the bag.
"I know. I had been in a tour through the state. But you know I like this town. Everybody gives me anything I want, and I only needed to send 20 guys to the graveyard before that." Kill-A-Lot said in a casual way.
"Actually, you killed 23, remember? The last sheriff and his two deputies had heart attacks when knowing you were coming to town." Blake said, carrying the bags and placing them on the counter. He hated this situation, but knew that, talking this way and obeying the criminal, it was his best chance to survive.
"Good point… but I was never good with Math since I couldn't finish my High School. Can you believe they expelled me just for shooting at my teacher? Please, the old guy is still alive, just walks funny." Sean said while checking the sacks.
"Good, everything is here. Oh, but I can't take all this with me. I want to deposit some money on my account." The Kid grabbed some bills, and gave them to Blake.
"Uh… okay, sir, I'll do it." Blake said, confused, and gave him a receipt. Kill-A-Lot smiled, and pointed at him again.
"This is a stick up. Give me the money." The Kid said in a calm tone. Blake made a double-take.
"But it's your own money!" Blake said, shocked. Kill-A-Lot laughed.
"Yes, but I'm still working. Come on, give me the cash." Sean demanded. Blake sighed, remembering the criminal twisted sense of humor, and handled him the money.
"Good. Now, I think I can take a rest." Sean said, placing the money on one sack, and his gun on his belt's sheath.
"You mean, you're not going to rob me again, at least for now, right?" Blake asked. Sean nodded.
"Nope. But, as a bank's client, I want to complain about this place's security. Anyone can rob it! I demand a indemnity!" Sean angrily said. Blake gasped, and found no words to defend himself. The Kid noticed this, and started laughing evilly.
"I can't have enough of this game! You should have seen your face!" Kill-A-Lot said while leaving the bank, carrying his loot. Blake groaned, annoyed.
"If this guy doesn't kill me with a bullet in a bad mood's day, his sense of humor will!" Blake complained to himself, and then walked out of the bank, extremely pissed.
Meanwhile, at the saloon, Lila was giving Eugene a glass of Yahoo. The sheriff was really ashamed of his behavior, but he had no way to fight this criminal. His attempts to improve his aim only produced some serious property damage, and a few accidental shots against his feet. Besides, even if Kill-A-Lot wasn't the brightest guy around, he knew his business, and every time Eugene or any other previous sheriff had called for back up, the criminal could escape, and returned some time later, when the cavalry was gone, and had a major revenge on the town's people.
A few minutes later, a derby hat and a pair of legs, wearing elegant pants and shoes, were seen behind the oscillating doors. Blake entered the saloon, while Chocolate Boy started playing "Show me the money". The mayor/banker sat in a free table, and called for Lila to attend him.
"Good morning, Mister Gripling. What would you like today?" Lila asked, holding her tray in the classic waiters' posture.
"An extra large glass of lemonade… and Kill-A-Lot Kid in jail!" Blake said, in a slightly annoyed tone; he was a lot angrier than he showed, but everybody liked Lila, so he restrained his anger in front of her. Lila nodded, and walked next to Eugene.
"You have a call." Lila whispered to the sheriff while rolling her eyes in Blake's direction; then, she walked behind the counter. Eugene sighed, finished his soda, and walked to Blake's table.
"Okay, Eugene, can you please tell me why Kill-A-Lot Kid isn't in jail?" Blake asked, more than a little upset.
"Uh… because he's not smart enough to go to Yale. Maybe UCLA would be better for him, but I guess Princeton and Harvard are out of question too." Eugene said, nervous.
Chocolate Boy made a rim shot-like sound with the piano. Blake rolled his eyes.
"I'm trying to be serious here, Eugene. I mean, what's the point of having a sheriff if he's afraid of fighting a criminal?" Blake asked, annoyed.
"I know, but he's not any criminal. He is The Kill-A-Lot Kid! He didn't get that nickname for picking up wild flowers and singing to the birds!" Eugene said, fear evident on his eyes. Stinky walked next to them, and joined the conversation.
"Eugene has a point, Mister Blake. I mean, nobody in this town is insane enough to fight that guy. And sadly, we can't fight him like a group because we are, well…" Stinky rubbed his neck, trying to find the right word.
Chocolate Boy started playing "The Chicken Dance". Blake, Eugene, and Stinky sighed.
"Thanks, CB. I guess that defines everyone in this town." Hoods, whose was sitting in a nearby table, said to the pianist, looking down.
"Maybe we can look for a hero to help us." Eugene proposed then, a little excited.
Chocolate Boy started playing "William Tell" (aka The Lone Ranger's theme). Blake shook his head.
"That wouldn't work. I mean, all the great heroes are usually established in a big city, or have those international missions, like Kim Possible, Jet Fusion, or Scooby Doo. No hero would waste his or her time coming to this town to fight a criminal who normally would be handled by an average police force." Blake commented, making everyone to look down. Lila supported her arms on the counter, and placed her head on her hands, with a sad look as well, and sighed.
"Oh, and now, who will protect us?" Lila said.
"I!" Everyone turned to see at the saloon's entrance, noticing, from behind the door, a pair of antennae, legs covered by red tights, and red and yellow sneakers. Chocolate Boy played a heroic-like tune.
"THE COLORED CHUCK!" Everyone in the saloon chorused in surprise.
"Didn't count with my cleverness!" Chuck pushed the oscillating doors, opening them, and started moving inside.
"Good guys, follow meeee….!" Unfortunately, the doors returned to their regular position, hitting him on the chest, and sending the hero backwards.
SPLURT!
Everyone at the saloon got silent, and Chuck's voice was clearly heard from the outside.
"I hope this thing I landed on is mud."