"Goodbye Until Tomorrow/I Could Never Rescue You"
A/N: This is actually taken from the universe of my longer Hanschen/Ernst fic that I haven't put up yet, but this damn plot bunny kept biting me in the ass! Very drabble-y songfic, but I'll make it up eventually with Ways A Man Can Go (as the unposted fic is called). "Goodbye Until Tomorrow/I Could Never Rescue You" is from 'The Last 5 Years' by Jason Robert Brown. Part two of this should be up soon and vaguely longer than this. Enjoy!
A/N part deux: I feel like this doesn't really work without the lyrics; is it okay since I credited JRB and did a disclaimer? If not... that's really unfortunate. =/
Disclaimer: Don't own 'Spring Awakening' or 'The Last 5 Years'.
Ernst's first coherent thought is that the sun has completely set, and the moon is steadily climbing in the sky. His second thought is that Hanschen has a pleasant flush to his face; it is the first time Ernst has seen Hanschen anything less than perfectly composed. Hanschen slowly reaches his hand to Ernst's face and gently caresses his lower lip with his thumb. Ernst shudders and leans slightly into the other boy's touch.
"It's almost twilight." Hanschen says. Ernst is somewhat surprised: he doesn't know what he expected Hanschen to say, but that was not it. This must show on Ernst's face, because Hanschen speaks again. "This is what you want, isn't it?" It is just barely a question.
Ernst is reluctant to speak. His lips are swollen and the taste of Hanschen is still fresh in his mouth. He savors the taste for a moment. "Yes, yes it is." His voice is weaker than he had anticipated. He wrinkles his nose in displeasure.
Hanschen smiles at this and drops his hand to the other boy's thigh. "Good." He strokes Ernst's thigh for a moment before gazing at him again. "Meet me here tomorrow after school." He orders him, his stern words softened with a chaste kiss.
Ernst nods. "Yes, Hanschen." He replies, gathering his courage. He places a firm kiss upon Hanschen's lips, startling him momentarily before he returns it with equal passion. The two boys spend another small eternity wrapped in each others' lips before Ernst pulls away. "It's late," he gasps. "My mama will worry."
With a light sigh, Hanschen climbs to his feet. He holds out his hand, and as Ernst takes it, pulls the smaller boy to his feet. "Well then, little Ernst," he says with a smirk, "let us go home to our parents." He places a fluttery kiss on Ernst's neck before he straightens up and teasingly offers an arm to the other boy. Ernst giggles lightly and starts walking away, before Hanschen pulls him back for another kiss.
Don't kiss me goodbye again
Leave this night clean and quiet
You want the last word
You want me to laugh
But leave it for now
Ernst tries to memorize every detail of this moment- the curves of Hanschen's lips, the friction between both their lips, the warmth of Hanschen's chest pressed against his. He pulls away and shyly admires Hanschen in the glow of the twilight. His clothes are rumpled, his hair slightly mussed, but he still has that lovely flush and he is smiling at Ernst. He nods slightly, satisfied.
"Guten nacht, Ernst." Hanschen says. Ernst only smiles.
All you can say
All you can feel
Was wrapped up inside that one perfect kiss
Leave it at that:
I'll watch you turn the corner and go...
With one last lingering look, Hanschen turns and walks down the path toward his house. Ernst watches him go, still warm from their last embrace. He slowly reaches up and traces his lips, echoing Hanschen's gesture from earlier. He begins to walk toward his own house, marveling over Hanschen. He had harbored strange feelings for the blond boy for a long time, but didn't dare say anything. He tried to not even think about Hanschen. The Bible said it was wrong, so it had to be a sin. But he only found bliss and a sense of belonging with Hanschen. He smiles. If tomorrow is anything like tonight, Ernst may burst from happiness.
Goodbye until tomorrow
Goodbye till I recall how to breathe
And I have been waiting
I have been waiting for you
Ever since he was a little boy, Ernst has dreamed of his future as a pastor. Now, he realizes suddenly, he wants more than that. He doesn't know how, but he wants to spend the rest of his life with Hanschen. He knows it's soon, he blushes, but he doesn't like any of the girls in the village as anything more than friends, and Hanschen is really the only boy who has caught his fancy.
He feels different. He's not sure how, but he feels like something inside of him has changed. He feels slightly more aware of his surroundings. The wind blows his hair in his face and, for once, he doesn't immediately push it out of his face. The air is slightly cool and crisp and leaves a pleasant taste in his mouth. He relishes this new taste for a moment before realizing that the taste of Hanschen is now gone. He is mourning the loss when he remembers that he will be meeting him again tomorrow.
Finally yes!
Finally now!
Finally something takes me away
Finally free!
Finally he can cut through these strings
And open my wings!
Ernst is still lost in thought when he reaches his front gate, candlelight glowing softly in the windows. He stares at his house for a moment, a tiny smile on his face. Ernst has a good life: his Mama and Papa love him, his family is well off and every evening, he and Anna play together by the stream. Until tonight, Ernst has been perfectly happy with his life. Tonight, however, Hanschen kissed him. And the thought of going back to before is unbearable.
Somehow, though, Ernst doesn't think that will happen. He goes inside to bed, falling asleep with a smile on his face.
So goodbye until tomorrow!
Goodbye until the rest of my life
And I have been waiting
I have been waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you...
Ernst wakes up the next morning with a smile. He can't wait for school.
Reviews make me a happy girl!