Chronicle 1
Title: Zabi zabi maruu
Characters: Zabimaru, Zangetsu (Ichigo, Rukia, Renji)
Pairings: none. Okay, maybe some Zabimaru action.

"Zoo?"
"Yes a zoo Rukia."
"Never heard of it."
There they stood, at the Karakura Zoo. Renji read the sign:

Welcome all to the Karakura Zoo, open twelve ours a day! (If you are lucky) We provide excellent service! (If you are lucky) and the animals here are all friendly! (If you are lucky) Bring your friends, your kids, your aging grandparents (They need a life) and your lovers! We currently feature the exhibit of "Baboons Bombardment!" Get your tickets today and don't miss out!
- Owner

"We'd better be lucky," Renji muttered.
"Come on, the hollow is somewhere inside there," Rukia said.
The three headed off into the gates of hell and cotton candy and stopped at the "Rabbit Ru…uh Rumble?" exhibit. A massive hollow was circling above the cages like an oversized snake.
"There!" Ichigo cried. He turned into his shinigami self and proceeded in his chopping session.
"Ichigo! Ichigo! Stop, Ichigo!" Rukia screamed.
"What the heck is it Rukia!"
"You're going to hurt the bunnies, dammit!"
"Shut up! Killing the hollow comes first!"
"Shut up! They are innocent little rabbits, Ichigo! You…Renji! Baka! Stop throwing the rabbits!"
Renji was hurling the poor little cute bunnies at the hollow as it flew. Little squeals came out from the puff balls.
"Darn it Rukia! They're too sof…" Renji's face collided with the ground, compliments of Rukia's foot.
"Freeee bunnies, frreeeedddommm!" (:3) Rukia released the little rabbits everywhere.

The hollow dived down at Renji and opened its mouth. Renji blocked the attack with Zabimaru, and the hollow caught it with his teeth. Slowly, the blade started to break down into little pieces. They glowed and took the appearance of Zabimaru, baboon-snake animal (?).
"Eh?" was the only thing Renji could say. The hollow knocked down Renji.
"Renji, you bastard, look what you did!" Ichigo slammed his blade into the mouth of the hollow. It smiled as the blade started breaking apart too. Out came Zangetsu.
"Eh?" The hollow knocked him down.
"Renji, Ichigo! Idiotic, stupid, worthless!" She pulled out her zanpaktou and started to fight the hollow.
"What did you do to their zanpaktous!"
"I materialized them so they can't use them!"
"What kind of ability is that!"
"I have no idea!"

"Hey, Zangetsu."
"…Yes?"
"Where are we?"
"A zoo, I presume. Shouldn't we try to wake up Ichigo and Renji?"
"Eh, they'll wake up eventually."
The two walked past the bystanders, staring at the loose baboon with a snake tail and the main who was wearing too much black for summer. A man stepped forward.
"Loose monkey! Run for your lives!"
"Ahhhh….No….! etc. etc."
Zangetsu and Zabimaru coolly walked by, without noticing a thing.

"Baboon Bombardment"
"Hah, haha."
"What's so funny Zangetsu?"
"You are a baboon and we're at the baboon section."
"What's so funny about that?"
Zangetsu shrugged his shoulders. They jumped over the fencing and walked by a number of baboons, butt pink and shining in the sunlight. They all raised their heads and looked back down to eat whatever baboons ate.
"Ah, you should learn from them, Zangetsu."
"What's that?"
"A society with peace and where we help each other. Where baboons are free to do what they like without discrimination or segregation. You humans should learn a thing or two."
"You mean scratching asses, eating whatever moves and doing things again and again without realizing the mistakes? Oh wait, humans do it too."

Zabimaru walked by the pond and that's when he spotted a certain monkey.
"Pst, Zangetsu! Look over there."
"Yes a baboon, I think you know I've seen about thirty of them already."
"But isn't this one looking fine…yo?"
"I wouldn't know." He looked at Zabimaru. "Don't say 'yo' ever again."
"Togther we can make baboo snake babies and rule the world with our skills and social caste system maintenance!"
"Right right, I'll be going somewhere else now…"
"No, you have to help me, I'm nervous!"
"What is there to be nervous of? She probably won't care if you stuck your uh, thing in her uh thing."
"Baboon romance is precious dammit!"
"Right."

"Hey, you there. Yea, you look good uh, drinking your pond water there. Yea, with that bug in your teeth and all that."
The female baboon scratched her armpits.
"Ehh, rawh! Eeee. Ahh rawwwh." (What sounds do baboons make?)
Zangetsu shifted his eyes back and forth.
"Don't worry Zangetsu. I know her language of love…Ahem, Ehhhhh AHHHHH, oo, ahhh eee rawhhhhh. Eh."
"Eh?"
"Eh. Hah, see Zangetsu, her name is Poupa."
"Hello…poutry er something."

Zabimaru reached in to touch her pinkness underneath the hairiness.

A gust of wind blew Poupa down. The hollow crashed on the fencing and Rukia was on top of it, driving her sword into its mask.
"Darn you hollow!"
The hollow smacked Rukia aside and roared at the baboons (which are now running around in circles).
"I'm coming Rukia!" The hollow smacked Renji aside.

"This looks like a job for us baboons! Go my minions! Attack!" Zabimaru shouted.

The baboons jumped on the hollow and started biting its body. The hollow fell down and crawled towards Zabimaru.
"Evil one, beware of my power…rawr!"
While he was fighting the hollow, Zangetsu kneeled down towards Ichigo. He poked him.

The hollow began to disappear along with the images of Zabimaru and Zangetsu.
"No, Poupa! I'll come back for you someday!"
It scratched her butt.
The two zanpaktou spirits returned to their normal blades. Renji and Ichigo and picked their swords up.
"Okay…"
A bunny ran by.