Author's Notes: Spoilers for 6x18 "The Usual Suspect" ahead, ahoy! I really wanted to hear Grissom's perspective on this case. And I was looking forward to more Sara-back story that what we were actually given. This story kind of solves both problems I had with the ep for me. Thanks for reading!
Vindicare
by Kristen Elizabeth
Live well. It is the greatest revenge. - The Talmud
"Sara."
She blinked out of her reverie at the sound of his voice. "Yeah?"
Grissom wore a slightly annoyed expression behind his glasses. "You're hovering at my door. Why?"
How long had she been standing there? She glanced at her watch. A good two minutes had passed since she'd packed up with the intention of going straight home and getting into bed.
When she failed to answer him, Grissom gestured to the chairs in front of his desk. Sara crossed the room and sank into one.
"I heard about the verdict," he began. "Acquittal on all charges."
"He did it."
Grissom's eyebrow lifted. "Not according to a jury of his peers."
"Those weren't his peers. For that jury to have been Marlon West's peers, that box would've had to have been full of teenager loners who all have a grudge against a popular kid." Sara lifted her fisted hand to her mouth for a moment. "Nick was right. He killed Stacy. And double jeopardy will see that he never pays for it."
"And you know this for sure now because…"
Sara looked him straight in the eye. "His sister told me. She created reasonable doubt through herself to get him acquitted."
Grissom smiled ruefully. "Genius."
She vaulted out of her seat without warning and paced to the other side of his office. "It's not even that she outsmarted me."
"Then…what is it?"
"Once again…" Sara shook her head. "…I put my faith in the wrong person."
He frowned. "Your faith?"
"I was the only one who thought she did it. Nick didn't think so. Ecklie even bid on the right guy in the end. And he never gets it right!" Her voice rose as she worked herself up. "But I pointed the finger at Hannah. Even with all the evidence that told us she couldn't possibly have pulled it off…my instincts told me it was her." She paused. "And I was wrong. Just like I was wrong about Warrick when I first met him. And then Hank. And Melissa. Let's face it. I am a horrible judge of character."
"Sara…" He pulled off his glasses. "Putting aside the evidence that suggested she might have been able to pull it off, why do you think you believed the girl was a murderer?"
She shrugged one shoulder. "She was smarter. Brains over brawn. Or so I thought." Grissom kept watching her, his cue for her to dig deeper. "I guess…maybe I identified with her more than I would like to admit."
"You're not a murderer, Sara."
"No. But as she pointed out, if I wanted to be, I could probably get away with it." Sara braced her hands on the back of one chair. "I was no prodigy. But I skipped a grade. I graduated early. I never really fit the mold." Her knuckles paled as she gripped the chair harder. "I had a Stacy at the second school I went to during my junior year."
Grissom steepled his fingers and waited for her to go on.
"I still have no idea what I did to this girl to make her even notice me, much less hate me. But she did and she did everything in her power to make my life miserable. One time…she cut out an article about a teen's suicide from a magazine and put it in my locker. She highlighted passages about how the kid did it…and she wrote a note in the margin that said 'maybe someone will care about you if you're dead'." Sara released the chair to tuck her hands under her arms protectively. "I never did anything, never told anyone. I just retreated into my homework. Eventually I got moved to another foster home and started a different school."
Sara focused on him. "I think I wanted Hannah to have fought back." He inclined his head slightly. "What kind of a person does that make me?" she asked.
"The human kind," Grissom replied.
"I helped set a killer free because I projected my issues onto Hannah West."
He stood up. "The good thing about a verdict either way is that it usually put a case to rest. There's nothing you can do now, Sara. So stop the tape that's going 'round and 'round in your head. You are not at fault. For any of this."
Sara glanced away. "I hear what you're saying. But it's going to take awhile to believe it."
Grissom came out from behind his desk and approached her. "What can I do to help?"
"When I get home and I crawl into bed and pull the sheets over my head…come join me."
He kissed her softly. "I'm right behind you."
"I know." Sara picked up her bag and started for the door. "Would you have believed she did it?"
"Probably." Grissom smiled as he slipped his hands into his pockets. "I had a Stacy, too."
Fin