heyas. just for the record, HPverse still isn't mine. duh. neither is the song, which i do believe belongs to 3 doors down. Hpverse belongs to j.k. of course.
oh yeah, and just so you don't get confused: not counting the song lyrics, every paragraph switches back and forth from draco's and harry's point of view. the first one is draco's. and then the bit after the last of the lyrics is something of an epilogue, and is third person.
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I took a walk around the world to
Ease my troubled mind
I left my body laying somewhere
In the sands of time
I watched the world turn to the dark
Side of the moon
I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah
You never forgave me for leaving. When I couldn't handle it anymore and left you. I came back a month later, ready to continue to support you, and you refused to acknowledge me. It took me months to get close enough to explain to you, forgave me, but I could tell that you didn't trust me anymore, and that hurt more than anything else did. You were everything to me. You still are. It was torture to be away from you, but I knew that if I stayed, I'd break, and you needed solid support. So I left, toured the world, and came back to you ready to deal with the stress once more. Needlessly, it seems, because you don't let me in to help you anymore.
I watched the world turn to the
Dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be something
To do with you
I really don't mind what happens now and then
As long as you'll be my friend at the end
It was never about the fact that you left. I wish I could make you understand this, but to explain it to you would open the raw wounds that I have acquired over the course of this war. It was never about you leaving. It was that you left without warning, you left me hanging in the air when I most desperately needed you to catch me, hold me; tell me everything would be alright. You were my anchor; you kept me steady. After you left, I couldn't control myself, I was snappish and prone to depression. But you never saw that. I felt it when you came back, and though I never said anything, your very presence calmed me. You kept trying to get back to me, even when I pushed you away, and that meant more to me than you'll ever know. But how much of your devotion is to your own twisted version of the Golden Boy Hero? You've never worshiped me for my fate the way some do, but it was always was the thing about me that drew you the most. I understand that you couldn't handle this war, nobody really can, but the fact that you didn't think about how I would handle it without you –it's yelling at me that you have succumb to the general mindset, that I am a hero and a savior, when all I am is a 19 year-old buy terrified of failing. If I failed, would you still love me? I thought I knew the answer, but I'm not sure anymore. That's the biggest thing keeping us apart; that question.
If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be
There holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with
My superhuman might
Kryptonite
There's nothing here for me but you, you were the one who got me accepted, and without your support, people are more overtly distrustful of me. It hasn't come to blows yet, but I fear it's only a matter of time. And yet, I can't bear to leave you. You are my hero, not for any stupid reason like a prophecy, or common opinion, but because you're so strong, and always seem in control of the situation. Nobody could ever tell when you were floundering except me. You presented the face of the leader that the masses so desperately needed, and I was the only one to see how much it cost you. When you came home shaking, and practically fell into my arms, I knew that something had happened. But I never asked, because I knew that you needed somewhere to forget for a little while. But I got the details later, after you had fallen asleep. So many times you woke up in the middle of the night to find me gone, because I was off finding out what your newest burden was. And you thought I had just left you, even though I was always there in the morning. You never realized all I did to try to help you.
You called me strong, you called me weak
But still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times I
Never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head, if
Not for me then you would be dead
I picked you up and put you back
On solid ground
I saw you at dinner tonight. You looked up and smiled, like I hadn't been pushing you away all this time. I couldn't help but smile back, and you looked so happy . . .. It made my whole day better, seeing you that happy. You always make me feel better. I miss you so much, all I want is to go back to my rooms and find you waiting for me. Why have you not come for me? I know I've pushed you away, but you were always so impulsive, I expected to find you there a long time ago. I thought you'd know that I want you to come back; you always seemed to know. Maybe you don't really want me anymore. Maybe I've driven you off. Maybe I'm just going insane here without you. I don't know anymore.
When you smiled, the worries fell from your face, and for a moment, you were simply a 19 year-old boy again. Maybe all is not lost if I can still make you smile like that. The wistfulness in your eyes shocked me. I had been assuming that you didn't want me around, but what if you just wanted me to prove that I still wanted to be around? I hope it's not to late.
If I go crazy then will you still
Call me Superman
If I'm alive and well will you be
There holding my hand
I'll keep you by my side with my
Superhuman might
Kryptonite
I wearily push the door open, and am greeted with a delightful smell. I am momentarily transported back in time, to when you used to wait for me 'to get home' as you always put it. I think it made you more comfortable, calling it home. But unlike my other flashbacks, it didn't go away. Then you came and pulled me into the kitchen, practically shoving me down at the table in front of a delicious looking meal. I always used to complain when you did that, and you just replied, "Rough love, Hun." But the truth is that I rather liked it that you cared enough to make sure I eat like that. We both knew that if you didn't force me to eat, I likely wouldn't. But then you backed away. "Where are you going?" I reached out and grabbed your hand. "There's only one chair now," you point out, all reasonableness, but I could tell that the lack of a chair for you hurt you. "Oh yeah, the other one broke." Your face lightened at this reasonable excuse, and I pulled you over down into my lap. You squeaked with surprise, and I smirked. I liked surprising you. You curled into my lap, making sure that I could still eat, and I took the hint, lifting my fork to my lips, Sniffing appreciatively before placing it into my mouth. I had missed your cooking so, I wonder where you learned to cook, and why. Surely you never expected to have to cook for yourself. I could feel your slightly uneven breathing against my neck, and suddenly, I wasn't hungry for food anymore, but you wouldn't let me leave the table. "But I don't want food. I want you," I whisper into your hair. Your arms tighten around me, "And I want you, but you need to eat." I pout, but continue eating, trying to eat as quickly as possible. I feel you grinning against my neck.
I had always liked to curl up in your lap. It makes me feel safe, loved, protected. I burrow my head against your shoulder, and can feel your reaction to my breath across your neck. You try to get up, but I know you haven't been eating well. You're so thin; I can feel your bones pressing against me, not enough to be seen yet, but not healthy. You never did take the time to take care of yourself. That's why I took it upon myself to take care of you. The others were all worried about upsetting you; they never realized that you liked people to push you around sometimes. You need people to make you take care of yourself, but I was always the only one who didn't walk on glass around you. It's funny; your friends were with you day and night for seven years, yet I know you better than they do. You need to feel loved, taken care of, and if that means shoving you into a chair and forcing you to eat, so be it. You won't drive me away again. I'll always be here for you. And when we win, I will kidnap you and take you off and hide you away from the world until you are ready to face them again.
Oh whoa whoa
"Harry, you need to eat . . . .!" Hermione's voice drifted into the kitchen, and Draco winced. 'Yeah, because whining is really gonna get him to eat. You're supposed to be smart, Granger.' He put the finishing touched on the plate he had fixed for Harry, sat it on the table at Harry's usual place –a.k.a. the place easiest to shove him into- and went to fetch Harry, since he wanted him to eat before next Tuesday.
"I'm too busy. I'll eat later." Harry didn't look up from his papers, never saw Draco walk in.
"Honestly Granger, you're hopeless." He grabbed the back of Harry's shirt and levered him up out of the chair he was sitting in.
"Draco! I'm busy!" Harry protested. Draco ignored him, marching him into the kitchen, with Granger uncertainly trailing them. "I don't have the time right now!"
"You don't have the time to not take care of yourself. You'll get a lot less done if you're sitting in the Hospital Wing for three weeks because you collapsed." He shoved Harry into the chair. "Now eat." Harry glared at him, but picked up the fork.
"Come sit with me?" He asked, still not touching his food.
"Only if you eat." Harry reluctantly put a bite of food in his mouth, and Draco slid onto the bench they had put in the kitchen not long after he returned, snuggling into Harry's side to avoid falling off. It really was to narrow for two people. Harry smiled and wrapped an arm around his waist, but kept eating, knowing that Draco would leave if he didn't. "See Granger? You just have to know how to handle him." She made a face.
"I can't be seen publicly man-handling him to make him eat!" she exclaimed. Draco gave her a look.
"Whereas I do not care what people think of me, so long as Harry stays healthy." He retorted sharply. She blushed. Harry took the opportunity to turn and kiss Draco, latching on to him before he could redirect him back to his food.
"You always take care of me. I love you, Draco." Hermione stared.
"I love you too. Otherwise, I wouldn't bother." Harry grinned at him.
"And that's the only reason you get away with it."