Disclaimers: Can you own Dir en grey? Well, if you can, I do not. This
is a humor fic that I wrote. Just for references ahead of time, I am not a
Shinya hater. If you have any beef about my fic, please by all means, feel
free to email me at Totchiluv@yahoo.com. Also there is OOC (Out Of
Character) for the simple fact that I do not know Dir en grey, their
actions and speech is based on what I think they would do.please enjoy my
dry sense of humor. Also things in /./ are thoughts.
Of Cigarettes and Flowers
Dir en grey had just finished practicing and Kaoru had declared a break. Die, Toshiya, Kyo and Kaoru automatically grabbed their cigarettes and headed for the back door to go outside and smoke. The only member, who did not smoke, Shinya, did not follow them. He stayed inside and wandered off somewhere where they could not find him.
/The only problem is Kaoru did not say for how long the break was.I'll have to be quick and not get carried away./ Shinya thought to himself as he came upon a darkened portion of the farthest reaches of the backstage. There at the end of the hallway was a single door. Before entering he looked over his shoulder to make sure no one was following. With that accomplished he quickly opened the door, quickly slid in, and quickly shut it.
Twenty minutes after Kaoru called for a break.
"And I says to him." Kaoru looked over to where Die was telling Toshiya a joke and raised his eyebrow. Toshiya was so gullible; he never did seem to get enough of the same old stupid jokes. Any minute now he'll be laughing like a damn hyena! Sure enough Toshiya started laughing and coughing at the same time because he sucked in a lot of smoke from his cigarette. Die smiled triumphantly.
"Where do you think Shinya is?" Kaoru asked.
"At his beloved drum set." Die shot out there real quickly.
"Well he used to come out here with us sometimes and he hasn't for a couple of weeks." Kaoru reasoned.
"Did we pick on him of do something wrong that he hates us now?!" Toshiya asked. Kyo shot him a look and then said,
"I don't think Shinya hates us." He said firmly.
"Okay, break's over." Kaoru said as he finished off his cigarette. Everybody else started puffing on theirs. Kaoru stepped back in and went to the stage to see if Shinya was there. If he was he was going to ask him to speak with him later. When he walked up the stage he immediately noticed that Shinya was on there. The other guys came up behind him.
"What's wrong?" Kyo asked trying to peek around Kaoru, unsuccessfully. Kaoru turned around and said,
"Shinya's not here." Everyone gasped dramatically and Kaoru bopped them on the head of being dorks. (See picture.)
"Die you take the pre-show rooms (dressing room, costume room, and make-up room), Kyo you take the east corridor, Toshiya you take the west, and I'll take the back." Kaoru said in his leader-sama voice.
"If there is no sign, meet back onstage." The guys all nodded and head in their respective directions. Die searched in the pre-show rooms with no sign of the skinny drummer. Kyo looked down the brightly light empty west wing and knew Shinya wasn't there. Toshiya had to look behind big cases of their equipment to see if Shinya was resting on or behind one, but still didn't find him. Kaoru looked in their personal room where the piano, ping-pong table, T.V. and radio, and food was. The couch was vacant and he wasn't in the bathroom. They all meet up on the stage again.
"Maybe he went home." Die suggested. Kaoru shook his head.
"No, Shinya wouldn't do that."
"Do you think he got sick and had to go the hospital?" Toshiya asked frantically while everyone else looked at him skeptically. A random guy walked up to them and said,
"This place is haunted.There was weird noises coming from the back, down this hall. Part of it is light and the other dark, I didn't even want to go down there, and maybe the ghost got Shinya-san." And he walked away. All the guys started to run that way. Once they got there they tried looking for the half and half hall by wiping their heads about in a "Where?" fashion. Toshiya spotted it first and pointed that way.
"It's so creepy! Why haven't we ever seen this before?" Toshiya asked. They stood at the line and listened.
"Smack! You taste so sweet, like honey!" Kyo covered his mouth with his hand and made an 'erk' noise and looked like he was going to throw- up. Kaoru took a brave step forward.
"Kaoru, don't, it's already gotten Shinya and is."
"Oh yes! That's how I like them! Sweet and pure!" This time they heard clearer that it was Shinya's deep voice, deeper from ecstasy. Kyo quirked his non-existing eyebrows up.
"What the hell? Is Shinya doing the deed?" Toshiya asked.
"How the hell is he getting any and I'm not?!" Kyo asked to no one, but Die was like, 'Too much information.' Kaoru regained his composure and said in leader voice again,
"Shinya can't be messing around when we are supposed to be working! Plus you heard him say: "sweet and PURE", meaning mostly likely a minor, and Dir en grey's drummer can't be in the public eye as a pedophile!" Everyone agreed and Kaoru jerked the door open with the others crowded behind him.
What they say shocked the hell out of them. Shinya was sitting in a hollowed out closet with different flowers scattered about him. With the introduction to the light Shinya became alarmed that someone had figured him out. /Damnit, how long was I in here for? / But his thoughts were interrupted as Kaoru spoke up.
"Shinya! What the HELL are you doing?!" Shinya wiped his head around to stare at his band mates in horror. In his hand there was a long stem red rose with most of the petals plucked from it. Around Shinya's pouty lips were pinkish smears and in between his teeth was a petal from the mutilated rose.
"I.I'm not doing anything!"
"Yes you are!" Die yelled. Toshiya and Kyo just watched on, they had a different image of what Shinya was doing in the closet.
"You.You have your cigarettes, so why can't I have my flowers?!" Shinya screamed as he stood up.
"Shinya.give me the rose." Shinya processed the request and clutched at the stem tighter.
"No, it's mine!"
"SHINYA!" Shinya held it to his chest.
"Give me the damned flower!" Kaoru said as he lunged toward Shinya. After some tugging and tickling, Kaoru finally had the flower, but Shinya picked up another one and started munching furiously on it.
"Disgusting." The three spectators said with repulsion. Kaoru grabbed Shinya and pulled him to their van with everyone following.
"Where are we going?" Toshiya asked as Kaoru flung Shinya in the backseat and got in the driver's seat.
"To the hospital, I'm going to check him into the psych. ward." When they all got there all they had to do was show Shinya munching on some patients 'get well' flowers and the nurse started the process of checking him in.
A few months' later, yes, months.
"So how have you been?" Kaoru asked Shinya who was sitting in his bed.
"I've been okay; they said they might let me out soon. I missed playing the drums." He said and Kaoru nodded his head. Since Shinya was emitted he hasn't been able to have contact with no one from outside the hospital.
"We think we know how you started this." Shinya perked up some.
"How?"
"Well, remember when we were doing the Garden PV and the director wanted you to pluck a petal off the flower with your teeth and let it slip off your lips?" It was like a light bulb going off in Shinya's head.
"I didn't want to because it was dirty.But I did anyways.some of the juice from the crushed petal got in my mouth." Kaoru nodded his head.
"We already told your doctor." Shinya had a far away look in his eyes. Kaoru was getting creeped out so he patted the young drummer on the head and threw a 'sayonara' over his shoulder as he exited the room.
Two weeks later:
"Oi, Shin-chan!" Toshiya gushed as he ran down the hall to envelop the drummer in a hug. All of Dir en grey went up to the hospital for Shinya's release. Shinya blushed a little at the attention. The rest walked up to were Toshiya was latched on to the young one.
"Mou! Shinya-kun, have you gained a little weight?" Toshiya said as he patted his friend on the stomach. Shinya was becoming good-humoring agitated with Toshiya and shoved his hands away. He in fact did look fuller framed than he did, nice and healthy looking.
"Yo! O-genki desu ka?" Die asked with a cheeky grin.
"Maaa, I am never happy around you." Die just ruffled his long honey brown hair. After everyone had asked about Shinya they headed off to celebrate his recovery, no one ever said anything about Shinya and eating flowers ever again. Also, it was added in Shinya's, as well as everyone else's contract, that flowers were not to be used directly in their PV's and everyone lived happily ever after, except when Toshiya's cooking went bad and Kaoru got anemic, but that is a whole different story.
AN (Author's notes): Thank you everyone for reading my fanfic. This is the first one that I wrote, completed, of Dir en grey. Notice sexual preferences did not come up at all in this story (even though there was the mention of sex) that is the way I want it. This was a humor fic and for all the Shinya lovers (and haters), I do love Shinya. The idea for this story popped into my head while I was watching the Gauze DVD with my friend, the PV Garden was showing and I saw Shinya pulling a rose petal from the rose with his teeth and I thought "wouldn't that be strange if there is a disorder of people who ate flowers?". I really did not do research, so if anyone knows off such of a thing, please email me at Totchiluv@yahoo.com.
Of Cigarettes and Flowers
Dir en grey had just finished practicing and Kaoru had declared a break. Die, Toshiya, Kyo and Kaoru automatically grabbed their cigarettes and headed for the back door to go outside and smoke. The only member, who did not smoke, Shinya, did not follow them. He stayed inside and wandered off somewhere where they could not find him.
/The only problem is Kaoru did not say for how long the break was.I'll have to be quick and not get carried away./ Shinya thought to himself as he came upon a darkened portion of the farthest reaches of the backstage. There at the end of the hallway was a single door. Before entering he looked over his shoulder to make sure no one was following. With that accomplished he quickly opened the door, quickly slid in, and quickly shut it.
Twenty minutes after Kaoru called for a break.
"And I says to him." Kaoru looked over to where Die was telling Toshiya a joke and raised his eyebrow. Toshiya was so gullible; he never did seem to get enough of the same old stupid jokes. Any minute now he'll be laughing like a damn hyena! Sure enough Toshiya started laughing and coughing at the same time because he sucked in a lot of smoke from his cigarette. Die smiled triumphantly.
"Where do you think Shinya is?" Kaoru asked.
"At his beloved drum set." Die shot out there real quickly.
"Well he used to come out here with us sometimes and he hasn't for a couple of weeks." Kaoru reasoned.
"Did we pick on him of do something wrong that he hates us now?!" Toshiya asked. Kyo shot him a look and then said,
"I don't think Shinya hates us." He said firmly.
"Okay, break's over." Kaoru said as he finished off his cigarette. Everybody else started puffing on theirs. Kaoru stepped back in and went to the stage to see if Shinya was there. If he was he was going to ask him to speak with him later. When he walked up the stage he immediately noticed that Shinya was on there. The other guys came up behind him.
"What's wrong?" Kyo asked trying to peek around Kaoru, unsuccessfully. Kaoru turned around and said,
"Shinya's not here." Everyone gasped dramatically and Kaoru bopped them on the head of being dorks. (See picture.)
"Die you take the pre-show rooms (dressing room, costume room, and make-up room), Kyo you take the east corridor, Toshiya you take the west, and I'll take the back." Kaoru said in his leader-sama voice.
"If there is no sign, meet back onstage." The guys all nodded and head in their respective directions. Die searched in the pre-show rooms with no sign of the skinny drummer. Kyo looked down the brightly light empty west wing and knew Shinya wasn't there. Toshiya had to look behind big cases of their equipment to see if Shinya was resting on or behind one, but still didn't find him. Kaoru looked in their personal room where the piano, ping-pong table, T.V. and radio, and food was. The couch was vacant and he wasn't in the bathroom. They all meet up on the stage again.
"Maybe he went home." Die suggested. Kaoru shook his head.
"No, Shinya wouldn't do that."
"Do you think he got sick and had to go the hospital?" Toshiya asked frantically while everyone else looked at him skeptically. A random guy walked up to them and said,
"This place is haunted.There was weird noises coming from the back, down this hall. Part of it is light and the other dark, I didn't even want to go down there, and maybe the ghost got Shinya-san." And he walked away. All the guys started to run that way. Once they got there they tried looking for the half and half hall by wiping their heads about in a "Where?" fashion. Toshiya spotted it first and pointed that way.
"It's so creepy! Why haven't we ever seen this before?" Toshiya asked. They stood at the line and listened.
"Smack! You taste so sweet, like honey!" Kyo covered his mouth with his hand and made an 'erk' noise and looked like he was going to throw- up. Kaoru took a brave step forward.
"Kaoru, don't, it's already gotten Shinya and is."
"Oh yes! That's how I like them! Sweet and pure!" This time they heard clearer that it was Shinya's deep voice, deeper from ecstasy. Kyo quirked his non-existing eyebrows up.
"What the hell? Is Shinya doing the deed?" Toshiya asked.
"How the hell is he getting any and I'm not?!" Kyo asked to no one, but Die was like, 'Too much information.' Kaoru regained his composure and said in leader voice again,
"Shinya can't be messing around when we are supposed to be working! Plus you heard him say: "sweet and PURE", meaning mostly likely a minor, and Dir en grey's drummer can't be in the public eye as a pedophile!" Everyone agreed and Kaoru jerked the door open with the others crowded behind him.
What they say shocked the hell out of them. Shinya was sitting in a hollowed out closet with different flowers scattered about him. With the introduction to the light Shinya became alarmed that someone had figured him out. /Damnit, how long was I in here for? / But his thoughts were interrupted as Kaoru spoke up.
"Shinya! What the HELL are you doing?!" Shinya wiped his head around to stare at his band mates in horror. In his hand there was a long stem red rose with most of the petals plucked from it. Around Shinya's pouty lips were pinkish smears and in between his teeth was a petal from the mutilated rose.
"I.I'm not doing anything!"
"Yes you are!" Die yelled. Toshiya and Kyo just watched on, they had a different image of what Shinya was doing in the closet.
"You.You have your cigarettes, so why can't I have my flowers?!" Shinya screamed as he stood up.
"Shinya.give me the rose." Shinya processed the request and clutched at the stem tighter.
"No, it's mine!"
"SHINYA!" Shinya held it to his chest.
"Give me the damned flower!" Kaoru said as he lunged toward Shinya. After some tugging and tickling, Kaoru finally had the flower, but Shinya picked up another one and started munching furiously on it.
"Disgusting." The three spectators said with repulsion. Kaoru grabbed Shinya and pulled him to their van with everyone following.
"Where are we going?" Toshiya asked as Kaoru flung Shinya in the backseat and got in the driver's seat.
"To the hospital, I'm going to check him into the psych. ward." When they all got there all they had to do was show Shinya munching on some patients 'get well' flowers and the nurse started the process of checking him in.
A few months' later, yes, months.
"So how have you been?" Kaoru asked Shinya who was sitting in his bed.
"I've been okay; they said they might let me out soon. I missed playing the drums." He said and Kaoru nodded his head. Since Shinya was emitted he hasn't been able to have contact with no one from outside the hospital.
"We think we know how you started this." Shinya perked up some.
"How?"
"Well, remember when we were doing the Garden PV and the director wanted you to pluck a petal off the flower with your teeth and let it slip off your lips?" It was like a light bulb going off in Shinya's head.
"I didn't want to because it was dirty.But I did anyways.some of the juice from the crushed petal got in my mouth." Kaoru nodded his head.
"We already told your doctor." Shinya had a far away look in his eyes. Kaoru was getting creeped out so he patted the young drummer on the head and threw a 'sayonara' over his shoulder as he exited the room.
Two weeks later:
"Oi, Shin-chan!" Toshiya gushed as he ran down the hall to envelop the drummer in a hug. All of Dir en grey went up to the hospital for Shinya's release. Shinya blushed a little at the attention. The rest walked up to were Toshiya was latched on to the young one.
"Mou! Shinya-kun, have you gained a little weight?" Toshiya said as he patted his friend on the stomach. Shinya was becoming good-humoring agitated with Toshiya and shoved his hands away. He in fact did look fuller framed than he did, nice and healthy looking.
"Yo! O-genki desu ka?" Die asked with a cheeky grin.
"Maaa, I am never happy around you." Die just ruffled his long honey brown hair. After everyone had asked about Shinya they headed off to celebrate his recovery, no one ever said anything about Shinya and eating flowers ever again. Also, it was added in Shinya's, as well as everyone else's contract, that flowers were not to be used directly in their PV's and everyone lived happily ever after, except when Toshiya's cooking went bad and Kaoru got anemic, but that is a whole different story.
AN (Author's notes): Thank you everyone for reading my fanfic. This is the first one that I wrote, completed, of Dir en grey. Notice sexual preferences did not come up at all in this story (even though there was the mention of sex) that is the way I want it. This was a humor fic and for all the Shinya lovers (and haters), I do love Shinya. The idea for this story popped into my head while I was watching the Gauze DVD with my friend, the PV Garden was showing and I saw Shinya pulling a rose petal from the rose with his teeth and I thought "wouldn't that be strange if there is a disorder of people who ate flowers?". I really did not do research, so if anyone knows off such of a thing, please email me at Totchiluv@yahoo.com.