Opening Note(s): This is something to load off some seriousness from RoA. The category is Humor/Horror but the horror thingy was just for the lulz. You can't really find anything here worth a fright. I could have even included angst but ffnet only allows two categories. Bummer... XD

I'd like to add that this fanfiction is just for fun. Don't take this seriously.

Disclaimer: Want to sue me? Hah! Go ahead. But let me warn you, Dad's a judge, Mom's a part of the jury, Brother just passed the law exam, Uncle is a police, Aunt cooks Uncle's lunch, Grandma's bestfriend's sister's former roommate attended Obama's inauguration, Hidden Relative's an ex-convict and Doggie-kun is a part of the K9 bomb-sniffing squadron. X3

Fine. Higuchi Tachibana created Gakuen Alice. Please don't sue me!!! We actually leave under some bridge!!!

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Not So Horrible
Written by: Snow Sparkle's Alter Ego
Chapter I

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"Ohayou, Natsume-kun!!!1" Mikan greeted Natsume with a smile.

Natsume grunted. Y am I stuck wit this whore? Natsume thought disgustingly.

It was true that Mikan was a whore... well... sorta... It has been a month since Mikan first came to the town of Alice. She was brought here bcoz of a mission last month to rescue the prostitutes of a nightclub. (AN: Don't worry people! She's still a virgin!) That's the place where Mikan first saw Natsume and being her knight in shinning, sparkling armor, she took an instant crush on him. So she insisted to come home with him.

"Y look so angry?" Mikan asked, pouting.

"Tsk. I'm always lyk this when I see ur face." Natsume said. Even though I really can't see it because of ur mega-thick make-up.

Mikan smiled, not hurt at all. "Is dat so?" she bit her lip. Some of the lipstick got onto her teeth. "Any plans for 2day?"

"Tsk." Natsume said coldly, walking past her.

Mikan grimaced and ran after him. "So, wat?"

Natsume got irritated. "Get lost."

"I won't till u answer muh question."

Girls r annoying! Natsume thought and used his supreme speed to disappear from her sight.

Mikan sighted. "Hyd and sick again?" Her lips that were very red bcoz of lipstick curved into a smile.

This was their daily routine. Natsume would leave his house and Mikan would greet him. They wud talk a little then Natsume would disappear then Mikan wud look for him and wud always find him.

"Gotcha!" Mikan said as she hopped onto the back of Natsume.

Natsume groaned. Not bcoz of wut she was doing to him but bcoz of the fact that she was always finding him! How come he couldn't feel her presence? Was it a fluke? But a fluke everyday? (AN: U'll fynd out s00n enuff people!)

"Y?" Natsume said.

"Hunh?" Mikan said, still at the back of Natsume.

"Y do u always fynd me?" he said.

"Bcoz I wanna be wit yah!" she said simply.

That wasn't the answer Natsume wanted. Annoyed, he removed da hands clasped on his neck.

"Wut do u want to do 2day?" she said.

"..." he said.

"Aww c'mon! Speak!" she took his hand and swayed it lyk dey were a couple.

Weird thing about Mikan was that she looked matured (blame the make-up) but she acted childish! (AN: See? She's not OOC!)

"..." he said.

"Hmmm... how about another hyd and sick game?" she said.

"Shuddap. Y don't u juz leave me alone?" he said.

She just ignored Natsume's comment. "I'm bored."

"Natsume!" Ruka called from afar, running to where they are.

Natsume sighted in relief. His best friend was here.

"Ur 2gether again?" Ruka stated the obvious.

"Yeah. We're having a d8." Mikan smiled smugly.

"In ur dreams!" Natsume said coldly, setting his foot to leave.

"Where r u going?" Mikan asked.

"2 wer u aren't!" Natsume said.

Mikan let out a startled expression and finally bent her attention to Ruka. "Ohayou! Ruka-pyon!!!" She let out her teeth.

"Ohayou, Mikan-chan." Ruka smiled amiably then noticed the lipstick on her teeth. "Mikan-chan," he blushed, "U have something red on ur teeth."

"Hunh?" she wiped her teeth with her finger and laughed. "Myt b d lipstick."

"Mikan-chan, y do u olweiz use those things?"

"Make-up?"

"Yeah..."

"2 make me beautiful."

She's beautiful lyk dat? Ruka said to himself. Though her eyes were of a lovely warm generous shade of hazel and with her hair soft and curly, she was nothing compared to other Alician girls. How ugly cud she b without her make-up? (AN: Don't worry, she's not ugly! Juz b patient!)

"Ruka-pyon!" Mikan snapped a finger.

"Wut?"

Mikan sighed. "Wanna get something 2 it?"

Ruka nodded with uncertainty and he felt hungry. Well... her face might be a little... different... but she sure is beautiful inside.

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"Mikan... chan..." Ruka said as he drank his tea.

"Hmm?" She smiled nicely.

He blushed. "N-Nothing..." he said.

"Go ahead, say it!" she said.

"I'm just wondering y u were on dat dirty nightclub..."

It took Mikan several seconds b4 she responded. "Ruka-pyon, lyf in this world isn't easy. Sumtyms in order to keep living u juz have 2 give up everything and do things u don't wanna do..."

Ruka looked startled and amazed. Wow. How deep... how very deep. Am I still talking with Mikan-chan? The so-called uneducated and foolish girl? "Well... ummm... y then?"

Mikan smiled. "Money."

"Don't u have a family 2 provide ur needs?"

Mikan's eyes became watery. "I don't have family or friends. I'm all alone so I gotta work in order to survive!"

Another one lyk Natsume... Ruka thought sadly and he too was close to tears. "So... where r u from?"

Mikan didn't seem to hear Ruka. "Ruka-pyon, gotta go!" She quickly grabbed his purse and laid some money to pay the bill.

"Wat's the hurry?"

"N-Nothing! Gotta go! Sayorara!"

"Sayonara! Arigatou!" Ruka yelled. "Hunh?" Ruka picked up Mikan's purse.

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"Mikan-chan!" Ruka knocked.

"..."

"Mikan-chan!!!1" he called again but still there was no response. I'm juz going to bring her purse so... he turned the knob and to his surprise, it creaked open. Doesn't she lock her door?

The apartment of Mikan was dark and small. He saw a table and placed the purse down. He was about to leave when he saw sumthing moving so he got closer and his eyes rounded at wut he saw. A girl staring back at him.

"Wut r u doing here?" The girl seemed scared.

Ruka panicked. Have he entered the wrong apartment? "Gomen... I'm Ruka..." He hesitated. "W-Who r u?"

"I'm... I'm Nakim..."

"R u new here?"

"...Quite... I'm visiting my umm... cousin..."

"Cousin?"

"Mikan."

Ruka let out a sigh of relief. It was the right apartment. But... "Mikan?! Mikan is ur cousin?!" Ruka couldn't believe his ears.

"Yes." Nakim smiled. "The girl with a thick make-up."

"But Mikan said she doesn't have a family anymore..."

"Ah... What she means is that she doesn't have a mother and a father anymore."

"I-I really can't believe u!"

Nakim laughed. "We're cousins. My eyes and hair color are proofs."

Ruka looked at her closely and blushed upon some realization. She's pretty! He couldn't believe it! Her cheeks and lips were rosy even without make-up!

"Y r u here?"

"Umm... juz returning Mikan's purse."

"Arigatou! But next tym knock at the door."

"I knocked!" Ruka said.

"U shud learn to w8. U cannot do that entrance at anytym u want." Her voice was calm, not angry.

"Gomen..." he said.

"It's okay." she said.

"Where's Mikan, BTW."

"I don't know... out there..." she said vaguely.

Ruka smiled. Maybe I could ask sumthing about Mikan... I'm very concerned of her... "Do u know things about her?"

Shud I lie or tell the truth? She decided to play safe. "Yeah. I've known her for lyk 4ever."

"Really? How'd u react when she found out she was... uh... a..." he trailed off, unable to say the term.

"Ruka-pyon, it's not wut u think Mikan is. She's not dat bad."

"I know she isn't." Ruka mumbled.

"Let's 4get about that. All that matters is u and Natsume-kun rescued her."

Ruka chuckled. "Our pleasure." He smiled. "When did u arrive?"

"Couple of hours ago..." She used a little bit of truth.

"Really?" So that's why Mikan seemed in a rush a while ago.

"Ruka-pyon... I hate to send u off but it's getting l8. Y don't u go home?" Nakim smiled sweetly.

"Oh... yeah... Gomenasai if I disturbed you..."

"It's fine..." She let him out. "Take care."

"Sayonara..." Ruka waved shyly. "Oyasumi."

"Sayonara..." She waved back and closed the door.

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"U won't b able 2 believe this!" Ruka said soon as he joined Natsume and Sumire.

"What is it Ruka-kun?" Sumire said sweetly.

"Sumthing about Mikan!"

Sumire's cheery mood became dark. She didn't like anyone suckering up with Natsume. Hmp! Wut about that bitch that I wouldn't believe? She was a whore, virgin or not. But then again it myt b sumthing I cud use against her. "So wut is it that u've discovered."

Ruka looked skeptical. Sumire wants to hear about it? "Umm... well... ummm... yesterday, she left her purse so I went to her apartment to give it back. Guess what I saw?"

Uh... her? Making sum wild sex with a guy? Sumire said to herself. "U saw her in her panties?" Sumire tried to euphemize.

"No! I saw a pretty girl!"

Much prettier than moi? Sumire thought with envy. "Hu is she?"

Ruka blushed. "Mikan's cousin, Nakim!"

"Wut?!" she exclaimed. Sumire always have thought that if a member of a family as lovely, the other members were too. But wut if— "Wut if she's only adopted?" Sumire felt a tad of sympathy for her. Maybe dat's y she acts dat way... I shud have known...

Ruka froze. Y didn't that idea entered his mind. But... "Yeah. I also thought that. But Nakim said dey were related by blood!"

"Yeah?" Sumire said, still in doubt. "I want to see her." Maybe Ruka-kun's only exaggerating. Pretty hunh?

"Natsume. Come with us."

"Tch. Fine."

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It was already late afternoon.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"H-Hn?" said a sleepy voice. Damn it... I know it's still early but I don't want someone disturbing muh nap! Let me sleep!!!

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Zzz...

Bang! Bang! Bang!

"Waaaahhhhh!!!11 Okay! Juz w8!" I'm gonna kill whoever dat is!

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"Jeez... Wut's taking her so long?" Sumire said impatiently.

The door opened.

"R-Ruka-pyon?" Mikan took notice of Ruka first then when she saw Natsume, she jumped. "A-And... Natsume-kun?" She blushed and wen she turned her head to another person, she shrieked in surprise. "WTF?! Even Sumire-san?!" She shook her head. "Y... y r u all here?"

"Wut took u so long?!"

"I need to put on muh make-up." Mikan paused. "Wut do u want?"

"Umm... we want to see Nakim..." Ruka said.

"Nakim?" Mikan seemed puzzled.

"Ur cousin."

"Ah. Yes." She recognized. "She's not here... she's back to wer she shud belong... hidden..."

"Wut?!" Sumire exclaimed.

"After all the trouble we've gone 2 see her."

"Y do u want to see her?"

"Well... umm... they wanna see her wut she looks lyk."

Mikan pouted. "Ah bcoz they can't believe that an ugly girl lyk me has a cousin so pretty."

Ruka wanted to nod but he was able to stop it. He knew it wud her feelings.

"Silence says it all..." Mikan said softly. "Come in. I'll tell u sumthing about her so dat ur visit won't b wasted."

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Ending Note(s): Dun-dun-dun! I wonder what's the mystery? The real identity of Nakim?! Okay, no more playing. I think it was so obvious. XD

Review? Please? :D

The good part about making a not-so-serious fic is that even the flames are welcomed. Yes, you are encouraged to rant how bad you think this is then both of us will be having a time of our life. XD

I know it's still not that lulzy yet but give me time. I'm still new with this trend. :P

For the goody reviewers, you too, are welcomed.

Anyways, whether this would get a lot of reviews or even none, I'll update this regularly... but this sure is harder than I thought. No, really.