I do not own this. I used Volitions character and my own to make a story. This is my first fan fic every so please be nice if you don't like it im sorry i tried but i will write more to eventually im sure. if you do like it however tell me and i will post more faster.

A Fallen Saint

The Day of the Funeral

Lilly woke up way to damn early and couldn't go back to sleep. After the incident on plane sleep was the one thing she didn't do much of anymore. She laid there looking at the ceiling and go over the whole thing in her mind. What she did and could/should have done differently. Between the flash back and memories tears started to pour down her cheeks and before to long she felt like she couldn't breathe anymore. She got out of the bed and grabbed her coat and went to the balcony to get air and have a smoke. It was still dark but the city lights lite up everything. Even up as high as she was she could hear the cars and sirens still. The streets were packed even at 4 in the morning. She closed her eyes as the wind blew across her face. It was cool on streaks where tears had fallen. She lite up her cigarette and thought back to the many times they had spent together. The memories poured in and right before she broke down she heard a voice from behind her. "You okay boss?" She jumped when pierce stepped out and noticed her. "Yeah I'm fine just taking a moment." She lied and he could tell not only because her bright red nose and red cheeks but the cracking in her voice as well.

"It's gonna be a long rough day, huh?" Pierce replied. "You have no idea."She said softly. They stood there in silence for a bit and just looked out in the city's abyss. Pierce put his arm around her and simply said, " we're all here for you boss and I know none us with ever replace him but we will come back from this and who knows he could be out there somewhere. It's Johnny were talking about, he's indestructible." she grind and just nodded then headed back to her room and started to get ready.

She turned some music out to drowned out the silence. She went to the bathroom and turn the shower on and got undressed. Standing in front of the mirror she gazed on how she changed from the strong feeling-less harden girl she was in the beginning to the broken lost girl she was now without him here. She looked like a train wreak and felt like one as well. When she got in the shower she sat down and pulled her knees in and just sobbed over the loss of her not only best friend and second man in command but her first love. She once again traveled down memory lane and the moment they almost kissed. They were both uber drunk and at the time Aisha and him were having a minor separation. It was back home at the church. Most everyone had passed out except for them. They were still drinking and laughing together about old times and shit they both been through. When they locked eyes with each other their smiles had changed into deep passionate stairs. They started to lean in and almost locked lips when a new recruit came running in drunk and high and yelling a bunch of drunken gibberish and fell over. Johnny stood up nervously and decided to go to bed. They never spoke of the moment but in the back of her mind she remembered and wondered if he did too.

She got out and wrapped her hair in towel and went to her closet and pulled out her one dress she had for funerals. The same one she wore to Aisha's. She looked at it for a second and walked to her room and laid it on her bed. She grabbed her black pumped and a pair of stocking. She walked in the bathroom and put inch thick of make-up on to help hide the tear marks and then fixed her hair. She left it down so no one would be able to tell when she was crying or if she was just looking down. She put on her underwear dress and the rest of her attire. She grabbed her sun glasses even though it was a cloudy day. When she walked out her bedroom door everyone was standing there waiting. She walked down the steps and it very low tone said, "Let's get this over with." She got in the car and the whole ride there was silent. Nobody spoke a word, they may have had their own reason and possibly because she wasn't speaking either but, for her it was because the giant lump in her throat and fighting tears. The day went buy in a blur till Killbane and his crew showed up and tired to blow them up. She had a new reason for wanting him dead now...

II. On the Ship.

Lilly thought about that day over and over and always had a feeling that he was still out there somewhere. She stared out the windows in the bridge and thought about how broken she had been since the day she lost him. She never let go of hope and promised if she ever did see him again she would tell him what she had bottle up for so long. When she found out the possibility of him being on Zinyak's ship come hell or high water nothing would have stopped her from tearing the whole ship apart to find him.

Once she found him standing there in all his glory, all eight inches just hanging there. Her eyes widen and almost teared up from the happiness she felt inside. She ran over to him and couldn't believe it was actually him and he was alive. She smiled and from the friendly hand grab hug she pulled him in and didn't want to let go but the thousands of zin coming was a little incentive. She let go and just looked at him for a second longer and then they took off for the ship. When back on the ship she showed him where they showers were so he could clean up before being over whelmed by all people. While waiting they gathered by the pool table and played a little. He walked in and the room went silent for a second. Then he proceeded to tell the story of what had happened to him. Afterwards Lilly walked to the bridge and looked out at the stars. She was over joyed and needed a moment to herself. She wanted to tell him still but wasn't sure exactly how. "Been a long time." She turn towards him with a big smile. "Yeah, to damn long." He walked over to where she was standing and looked out the window to see what she was staring at. "What the fuck you looking at?" he asked with a puzzled look on his face. " I always looked at the stars when I needed some space and when I would...think...about..you.." She said while turning to look at him. "Me?" "Yeah, I always thought you were out here, somewhere. Just never figured you were actually in the stars." Lilly said nervously. Johnny just stood there with a look as if he was hanging on to her every word. " Johnny look I've always wanted to tell you but was to scared. Even now I'm not a 100% sure I can. But here goes nothing. When I lost you I lost me at the same time and everyday just dragged by and I promise I would tell you how I felt if I was given the chance. I dreamed about you almost every night and wished your were here next to me everyday. You mean more to me than anything in this world and it took me until I lost you to realize that I truly love yo..." she was cut off by him pulling her in to a deep passionate kiss and their arms roamed over each others anatomy. She hugged him tighter and tighter till she thought he would break. They pulled apart to get a breath. "I'm in love with you to." It was all he had to say and she melted away in his arms. They were still holding on to each other and just taking in the presents of each other. They heard the doors opening up and quickly parted and just stood there staring at each other. Keith walked in and went back to work as if they weren't even there.

She walked out of the room with a grin and her hand on her mouth. She was headed for her room when ever she felt some one grab her hand and pull her into a closet room. It was johnny and he pushed her up against a wall, and continued their kiss from earlier. He ran his through her hair and held her face between his rough hands. For a second she thought she was dreaming but opened her eyes to see him standing before her. " I've wanted to do this for so long but, I always assumed you wouldn't want to get involved with a crew member." "For you Johnny I would cross every ocean and travel the entire universe." With that said they continued to make out and before to to long they begin to pull at each others clothing. He pulled at her zipper and once he got it all the way down he place his hands under the shoulders and puller down. Her breast were completely reveled as she went for the zipper on his suit his hands were massing her breast. They continued to make out and explore every inch of each others mouths. They took short breaks for air. " You..sure?" Johnny asked gasping for air. " Fuck yes." They began again and once completely naked he lift her off the ground and held her by her legs against the wall and began to pleasure her. It was over before they knew. He was still holding her in the air when she being to chuckle. " Shut the fuck up its been awhile." " Ha ha it's fine we will get there, it still felt amazing for the whole two minutes it lasted." He just looked at her and smiled, " It was longer than that..."