PLEASE READ: I'm rewriting this story. I'm sorry if you liked it the way it was, but I didn't. I lost motivation for it because I didn't like how I was writing it. I don't feel like third person is right for this story and I didn't really like the way Clara was being written.

The main plot I have planned will remain the same. (AKA the friends with benefit relationship, etc.) The main character is still Clara. However, I'm writing her differently. Could you at least try it out for a few chapters before you decide to unfollow the story? c:

Everything is quite hard when you had no idea what to do with your life.

Tomorrow afternoon I would skive off a History of Magic lesson to have a meeting with Professor McGonagall about what kind of career I wanted. What kind of classes I should take next year.

I'm fifteen. How am I supposed to know what I want to do? I spend most of my year cooped up in a castle. All that taught me was that I never wanted to be a professor. I spend the rest of my year cooped up in my house off in the middle of nowhere. All that taught me was that I never wanted to live anywhere near a farm ever again. Anywhere in a muggle area at all, actually.

I could be a Healer, maybe. But then I'd spend all day trying not to vomit.

I'd also have to spend all day trying not to bang my head against a wall while I tried to figure what the bloody hell was wrong with someone.

Okay, so. No. Don't have the patience to be a healer.

There;s the Auror career field, of course. With dark magic becoming more and more popular, that field would have to be growing. But Aurors are the elite. Physically and mentally. I certainly could never fit either of those categories.

Also. I don't particularly feel like dying.

So that's out too.

I'd heard some Ravenclaws talking about how they wanted to work in the Department of Mysteries this morning as I'd walked to Transfiguration. I'm perfectly good at keeping secrets. But I have no idea what's in the Department of Mysteries. (Which, of course, is the point, but why would I consider a career when I have absolutely no idea what I'd be doing?)

Mary McDonald wanted to be a reporter for the Daily Prophet. I could do that, maybe. But then I'd have to interview people all the time, sort out what they're lying about and what they're not.

Ugh. Too much social interaction.

They'd given us pamphlets, of course, full of different career paths. I looked through all of them. Nothing stood out to me, except the Aurors. It's not even just that they're the best there is. It's also the fact that you need to pass potions.

Passing potions doesn't even happen in my dizziest daydreams.

"Come on, Evans, just one date."

I glance up with a grimace. James Potter, a bespectacled boy with hair that needs a good brushing, has just walked in on the heels of Lily Evans, fiery redhead and prefect extraordinaire.

"It's been weeks since she's really blown up at him," a familiar voice whispers into my ear quietly. "Moony and I have got a bet on it. Think it'll be today?"

I try not to laugh. Poor James.

And poor Lily. She's basically had a stalker since first year.

Then again, in first year, James wasn't such a prat. He was eleven. He was a first year. He was more concerned with hopping about the castle and not getting lost.

"Why wasn't I included in this bet?"

It feels almost mean. I've been friendly with James since we were first years and we got stuck as partners for a day in Charms and I've been friendly with Lily since second year when we both bonded over the stress of exams. (This was before Lily went absolutely nutters when it came to grades. Back then we were both only mildly crazy.)

But betting on the epic blowouts between Lily Evans and James Potter is almost . . . tradition. It would just be wrong to not do it.

Sirius Black is suddenly inches in front of my face. "Because it was a bet we made at four in the morning. Had you been sleeping in our dormitory, maybe you could have been in on it . . ."

It's not hard to imagine why so many people fancy Sirius, not really. He's certainly fit - but he's quidditch player, what do you expect? - and his face is something to look at. He's got wavy hair that frames that long and regal face of his.

It's not fair, really. He got all the good looks and I got stuck with a big nose and crooked teeth.

Okay. They weren't that crooked. Not anything like Eloise Burgenden, at least.

"Damn. I'll try to make it a point to sleep in your dormitory at least once a week," I deadpan.

His lips - that I'm certainly not looking at - curve up into a smirk. "You know my bed could always use a certain little blonde in it . . ."

"Oh, you're waiting on Hastoire, then?" I respond, referring to a sixth year Ravenclaw that Sirius almost dated not too long ago. Fortunately, he saw how creepy she was before he asked her out, but it was close. She's not obsessed with him, per se. She doesn't follow him around everywhere he goes or know his entire schedule. But she certainly doesn't like anyone else being around him. "Funny, I thought you were a bit frightened of her. But if you've changed your mind, I'm sure I could get her up into your room, she wouldn't mind at-"

He cuts me off with a glare and says, "Very funny. The only way she's slipping into my bed is if I've been slipped a love potion."

I grin in what I think (hope) is a sly way. "That can be arranged."

His gaze is flat and hard. "Don't even think about it."

I shrug and look back at James and Lily. Talking to Sirius is never easy anymore - I've actually got to think about what I say now. Not because it's hard to think of what to say to him. There's too much to say to him. Most of which would be far too embarrassing to ever speak aloud.

Some things are just meant to stay in your head. Especially things about Sirius Black's abs.

I turn back to Lily and James, who have been talking quietly. Lily's face isn't nearly red enough - if she was going to start yelling, her face would be the color of her hair.

Suddenly Lily whips around and storms up the stairs to our dormitory. James continues to watch the stairs even after she disappears.

"Looks like you lost your bet, then."

Sirius shrugs, and of course it looks elegant. Sirius Black can make a bloody shrug look elegant and attractive and . . . not awkward. "You going to go deal with Lily then?"

I hesitate. It's not that I'm trying to choose between James and Lily - James is a fifteen year old boy with an ego the size of Poland. He'll bounce back. But Lily is almost always in an awful mood after she encounters James. She'll either spend an hour ranting until she's blue in the face or she'll bite anyone's head off that she can.

"I think I'll let her cool off," I say slowly, remembering the last time James asked her out. I'd ended up with pink eyebrows, Mary McDonald had ended up unable to speak, and Lily had broken more than one thing. "I have to go finish this stupid Potions essay anyway. I need books. With information I don't know." Gathering my things, I glanced back at him. His dark eyes gaze at the portrait hole behind me. "Don't you need to go hug James and let him cry on your shoulder?" I try to say it teasingly, but it falls flat.

A lot of things seem to be falling flat with Sirius lately.

Last year I didn't really have any idea that he was attractive. Last year I had too many other things on my mind. And in third year - well, I didn't talk to Sirius much. We only ever interacted when I was talking to James.

But then fifth year started and it was like he'd gone through puberty over the summer. (That wasn't true, of course. He looked almost exactly the same as he had in fourth year, maybe a little taller with a little longer hair, but otherwise nothing had changed.) For the first two months of fifth year, I'd spent most of my time around him keeping my mouth shut for fear of what I'd blurt out. It was the end of November now and I still had to censor myself around him sometimes.

"I think right now James might just need a little fun."

The grin on Sirius' face tells me he's about to get up to no good.

I roll my eyes as I pick my bag up off the floor. "Just don't get caught, yeah? We don't need to lose any more points."

His next grin tells me I really shouldn't hope.

Please let me know what you think of the new version!