Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note nor any of its sickly beautiful characters.
A/N: Hey, it's me again! Bet you wouldn't guess i'd be doing a Death Note fic huh? Lol. I've been working on this for about a month, just was too lazy to upload it and everything. Basically, this fanfic has some major spoilers if you Death Note fanatics haven't watched the last episode. My story takes place when Light is seconds from death and he begins to reflect on all his past actions and the way he carried out his life. Pretty sad. A little angsty too. Hope all of you enjoy it. Happy reading!
Light couldn't breathe, couldn't talk.
Ruby eyes fixated ahead of him, he couldn't bring up the strength nor the will to look upwards. That's what all dying people did. Looked towards the heavens.
There is no heaven. No hell. No God. The world lost their God.
For a few silent seconds, nothing but heavy nothing-ness enveloped around him, leaving him be. No emotions could be felt. His breaths came out as tiny, invisible wisps into the air. His last breaths.
I brought hope to this pitiful world. They were becoming used to this new world. My world.
Then, waking Light from his state of calm, an abrupt film of memories began to assault his mind, forcing him to see his past life, everything he thought he had forgotten and things he couldn't even remember seeing.
Light saw it all. All things that made his life what it was today. From his birth, he saw flashbacks of his first birthday to the first time he learned how to ride a bike. Happier times, if he could call them that. Back when his parents were both happy and young, raising their perfect little boy. Nothing could ever go wrong with their perfect little boy.
Then his sister was born. His parents became older, more irritable by the day. His father's job at the police force was becoming more stressing, more time he spent away from his family to the point where Light forgot what his father looked like sometimes. There was even a point in Light's life, when he was fairly young, about seven years old, catching sight of his father striking his mother for a wrong even he couldn't decipher to this day.
Light remembered that day with a painful beat to his heart. He had cried and vowed to never leave his mother's side. To never let wrong like that ever happen to her ever again.
That was the first time in his life did Light vow to bring justice to all, for it to prevail against all the wrong doers and people just like his father.
His will became stronger with every year of his life as he witnessed countless crime and evil of the people around him, not a victim, but a silent observer. Light's determination to rid the world of malice had become stronger than ever, with every sighting of an after-school fight to every corner mugging. It grew to the point where he couldn't stand breathing the same air as the despicable wrong doers.
By the time Light reached high school, his goal had been decided.
I needed to create a new world...I had to create a new world.
But making a new world from scratch wasn't an option, so the only other choice was to cleanse it. Yet...how?
The day he found the Death Note was the day he actually did believe there was a god somewhere in this filthy world. It was his calling, his long awaited sign of hope that his dream would finally be fulfilled. No more going around wishing the world was better because with a simple black notebook, Light had the power to make a better world all on his own.
Light could feel his heart slowing, could hear it, see it. All his senses were in simultaneous harmony as his hearing began to fade away. The sounds of the metropolis city in the distance was slowly leaking away as his flashbacks became faster and faster. It was a blur, yet he could see every single detail, remember every single situation of his life.
Amidst that blur were his memories of loneliness, the sadness that had enveloped him; the pain. His mind and body were dedicated to one thing and one thing only- the death note. He had strived so hard to make a better world, Light had begun to realize that it was also taking a toll on his personal life.
So many years had gone by since he had taken ownership of the death note, years spent wasted on his dedication to the death note, not even having the common knowledge of the positive aspects of life. He rarely went out anymore, couldn't remember the last time he had a girlfriend, but most importantly, he rarely saw his parents. In fact, the day his father died, Light could remember feeling something close to triumph. The man who had abused his power against his mother, the very reason he had chosen a path of justice, had finally ceased to walk the gravel of his brand new world.
He didn't deserve to live...to live in my perfect world.
As time went on, deaths ceased to amaze him anymore. In fact, they had even become boring. He had killed so many, Light could even admit becoming immune to any feeling whatsoever when it concerned death. When Ryuzaki died, that only created more boredom, more time to focus on his goal of creating a perfect world. Light, over time, grew to accept his life of solitude and became even more obsessed with the death note. Not even Misa could break him from his mind-set goal, his dream.
Life revolved around one thing and one thing only, the death note. There wasn't any room for love, for fun, for anything. Light was coming closer to prevailing in his dream of a perfect world. Crimes had greatly decreased, wars had ceased to exist, even countries from around the world had succumbed to his tyrantal rule, some even worshiped him. As the god of the new world, not only did Light feel prestigious, but also invincible.
My new world...was nearly complete.
Then came Near and Mellow- L's prodigies. Two of the most smartest kids in Watari's orphanage, two of Light's greatest enemies yet. Mellow had proved himself useless in surpassing L's genius and detective skills, but Near who was the complete opposite proved Light wrong and strived to find Kira and save the world. More like destroy Light's lifelong dream of a perfect world.
Light had been evenly matched the minute him and Near met. It was fair game and Light wasn't about to lose something he had worked so hard for. All the sacrifices he had made, all the alliances he had gained, all the people he had manipulated into doing his work. Only to have it all taken away from him by the despicable, bastard of a so-called good doer known as Near.
His life at that point had ended, the moment Near exposed his upper hand. Light had been beaten at his own game, by a kid no less.
A pitiful expression was upon his handsome face, pout at his lips, eyes full of regret. The dying savior of the evil world was starting to see hallucinations. Specifically of his greatest nemesis of all time, Ryuzaki. Standing before him was the master mind that nearly exposed the truth of the person behind Kira, the truth behind Light Yagami. But Light's manipulating and lax behavior had payed off, turning a one-eighty and surpassing Ryuzaki's smarts and intellectual genius. Little did he know was that L had prodigies to finish his work and Light's cards weren't as lucky as they were with Ryuzaki.
Light unfortunately could not see L's expression, but if he could, the only guess Light could come up with would have to be that Ryuzaki would be sporting a stoic expression of suppressed disappointment. Disappointment in not Kira, but Light. So many things that awaited life for the young detective. Light could have been competed with Ryuzaki with healthy competition as a top detective, not a competition of life and death as a secret serial killer.
Love and marrige had awaited the brown haired police detective, children, opportunities that the death note could never bring him. Not even happiness. That was exactly what Light was realizing that very moment.
What was it all for?
What had he been doing all these years of serial killing with a notebook belonging to a shinigami? Was it worth it? Worth the years of withdrawal from the world and obsession with his own? His vision of a perfect world?
A world free of criminals and wrong doers. A good world.
Even if I had succeeded in creating my new world...wouldn't that make me...the person who killed all the bad people to make the world good...the only criminal left? Is this allowed in a world where no crime should be tolerated? Was I going against my morals all this time?
Light could feel the last rays of sunlight upon his face through the windows of the cold, dirty warehouse he had found safety in.
So, it was going to end like this. He never knew it would end like this. Alone, defeated, dying, in a warehouse no less. He knew he was going to die...but not like this.
He was beginning to regret everything. The death note, manipulating all that were close to him. Causing his father's death. Causing Ryuzaki's death. Causing the deaths of so many criminals. But not once did Light consider that the criminals were all people. People just like him. Living beings that never deserved death no matter how severe their crimes were.
With his final, tragic breath, his eyes began to close over ruby eyes, the last existing proof of his years of relentless malice.
The mighty god of the new world had died.
The world had died.
A/N: Hey, so did you like it? Please leave a review, they're so appreciated! Arigatou and ja ne!