Perry the Intern

Ch 1: The Life of a Platypus-hybrid

AU Parallel "Intern" Universe: This universe is filled with human scientists (not evil really, just creative) and half-human, half-animal hybrids. These hybrids start out as interns until they find a permanent scientist and become Assistants. Perry is not a teen, he's in his 20's.

{thoughts}

Perry was just putting the finishing touches on the last of the storage-room inventory when his current employer's gruff voice echoed down the hall.

'No, I don't want to renew his contract. Why would I want a beaver for an apprentice?'

{Stupid human. I'm a platypus-hybrid, not a beaver}

The teal-haired intern sighed, spirits instantly dampened. Life could be quite unfair. Every scientist seemed to want "cute" hybrids. Cats and dogs were a popular choice. Foxes and wolves too. Birds were prized for their wings and beautiful voices. And then there were... pandas. Granted, he really only knew one panda intern, but Peter was just... churrrr. They didn't get along at all.

Pandas were considered rare and highly prized as assistants. Too bad they were stuck up about it. And then came the hybrids at the bottom of the list... beavers and platypi. Sure, both were known for their excellent work ethics, but that wasn't what people wanted apprentices for. Scientists wanted apprentices mostly for show. They could easily hire a human (way cheaper) to do those mundane tasks.

And besides, most people couldn't even tell the difference between a beaver-hybrid and a platypus-hybrid. It's really not that hard! Teal hair and a beaver-like tail means platypus! Not that there was anything wrong with being a beaver or anything. His friend Carl was a beaver. Nicest guy in the world, after Phineas the fox, of course. But then, no one was happier than Phineas.

Perry was pretty used to rejection by now. Nearly 5 years of one-month contracts... no wonder the labs rarely made platypus-hybrids, they never made it past interns.

'Just send me a cute intern. A cat or a duck, maybe. I have an important meeting coming up and I can't bring a beaver intern. That would just be embarrassing...'

The hybrid felt a frown working itself onto his usually emotionless face. And Phineas wondered why he had self-esteem issues. Oh well, another month, another scientist. Eventually the agency would be forced to buy his contract themselves and then he'd work permanently for them. Five years was normally their deadline. Personally, Perry couldn't wait. Working for the agency would be boring and repetitive, but at least he wouldn't have to deal with moody scientists on a daily basis.

'Dr. Bloodpudding, the inventory is completed,' Perry announced, standing at attention in front of the scientist's desk.

'Yes, yes. Leave the list on my desk and go get packed. You're heading back to the Agency,' the red-haired scientist ordered without even looking up.

'Of course, sir,' Perry walked out the door and packed as quickly as he could. Anything was better than another minute working for this idiot.

The Agency van pulled up, the door shifting open to the side to reveal a few familiar faces.

'Hi Phineas. Hi Pinky,' Perry tossed his bag into the back seat and strapped himself in next to his friends.

'So, how was it?' Pinky asked, brushing his short, pink hair out of his eyes.

'Same old, same old,' the platypus-hybrid commented, leaning his head back against the seat with a sigh.

'I'm sorry, Perry. I'm sure there's a scientist out there for you,' Phineas smiled at his semi-aquatic friend.

Perry and Pinky exchanged a look once their red-haired friend's attention was elsewhere. They were likely thinking the exact same thing.

{Yeah right}

The van pulled up to a small suburban house and Carl turned around to look at them.

'Now don't forget, Phineas. You're this boy's first intern. Try not to overwhelm him,' Carl warned, offering the red fox a smile.

'I just can't help it. I have so many ideas and they get me so excited. Sometimes, I wish I'd been born a human so I could have been a proper scientist instead of just an intern,' Phineas sighed, getting his things together.

'See you after your assignment is over, Phineas,' the hybrids in the van waved as the red-head got out and stepped up to meet his new host family.

'The green-haired boy must be Ferb,' Pinky commented, watching Phineas smile brightly at the human boy.

'A little young to be starting out as a scientist...' Perry observed, the van pulling away into the street.

'Ahhhh, home sweet home,' Perry relaxed back into his chair at the bottom of the small tube-tub. There were very few perks to being an intern, but this was definitely one of them. The rooms at the agency were designed to match their animal-type. At least here, he was able to just be himself.

...tbc...