title: How Charged My Scroll
part: 1/1 complete
date: 2007
author: Thanatos_Aire (Airi M.)
contact: .13
genre: Shin Kidou Senki Gundamu W (Gundam Wing)
rating: PG-13
warnings: some violence and profanity, death elements, slight angst, vague refs to the manga (EZ and BoP especially) and EW
cast: Treize and Wufei friendship
notes: Why does everyone assume Wufei went back to Treize continuously for duels/sex before that last battle? That's the biggest thing that irks me about 13x5 fics, after the Treize-bastardisation anyway. (Yes, I do realise he says he'll come back, but I don't think he ever managed to)
trailer: Not a typical Treize fic.
Disclaimer: I don't own, claim to own, or make profit off of any canon or otherwise copyrighted elements borrowed herein without permission.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
--William Ernest Henley, "Invictus"
I glance back down at my work to note the paragraph I was on before returning my eyes to the interloper.
"Chang, was it?" The words roll off my tongue lazily, and he flinches slightly.
I cannot see him fully, his form lost in the darkness, and I had not heard him enter, but there was no one else it could have been. Despite our sole meeting being months past, I can recall his presence with very little effort. He is standing in the doorway, silhouetted by the light from the hall, a familiar-looking sword in hand. I think about my own's whereabouts, wondering if I will need it.
"It is." He steps further into my study, feet silent on the lush carpeting. His easy gait allows me to relax and I lean back from my desk to steeple my fingers before my lips, elbows perched on my chair's armrests. I do not know what to say; greet him in, offer a drink and pleasant talk, or attack him, defeating or perhaps being defeated in another glorious swordfight? Neither is appropriate yet, not without knowing his intentions. So I stay silent and merely watch him.
He has grown a bit, I notice; taller by an inch or so, but his musculature has filled out plenty. My guest no longer seems so young and weak. He comes closer, now midway into the room. I note he has left the door open, but it matters not; the few house staff I have still were dismissed hours ago. We are alone in my house.
"Why?"
I frown, not understanding the question. "I'm afraid I haven't an idea of what you are referring to. Elaborate please?" The young man shifts, uncomfortable, and his hard face is barely visible in the soft light from my desk lamp.
"Why are you not… fighting. Out there, commanding troops," Chang frowns, trying to find the words. "You have left your post as leader of OZ. I want to know why."
"I am not there because I am here." He scoffs, clearly upset at the lack of explanation. So I continue, "I have not stepped down, my friend, I was kicked out. For the time being, I am under house-arrest for going against Romefeller, and OZ is being led by some priss of a uniform whose only understanding of war is the foolish belief that it will bring power."
There is a long silence before his shoulders slump. "I never understood the point of politics," he mutters, and I chuckle. "All these damned factions, it makes everything so complicated!"
"Would you rather everything be purely black and white?"
"No. Moderation is key."
He stands there with head bowed for some long minutes. Finally I purse my lips and stand, the movement attracting his attention. The sword however does not waver from its place at his side. "What is it you are here for, my friend? Surely you have not braved your way here only to ask a simple question, one of which any news report could answer."
"You gave Zero-One a suit," he says, after some hesitation. I nod but do not know where this is going. "You told Une that we were not to be harmed as captives. As you said, you take OZ in directions Romefeller does not wish it to. I do not understand why you do these things; I do not know why you are an enemy of my faction when you clearly are not the villain."
I laugh. Loud and long and with so much emotion, my ribcage begins to pain me a little. It startles him, I think, that I should laugh at such a serious comment from such a solemn warrior. "Villain! Is that how you see me? Would that make you, my friend, the superhero? Saving the day, rescuing the world from the evil, twisted man with wicked intentions?"
He purses his lips and his body goes rigid. The sword wavers. "Do not insult me, Khushrenada."
"I could never. But such comments are amusing, especially in light of recent events."
"You led OZ. However much you diverge from Romefeller's grand scheme, you are still a part of it. You are still a part of the Federation, which has terrorised the civilised galaxy for the better part of three decades. How could you not be part of the problem?"
I look him over, taking in as much of his form as I can. Still so young, it's a shame really, I think he would have made quite the scholar. But Chang's naïve outlook cannot bridge that, and I am sorry it is I who must burst that bubble. "What makes you think I am not using the organisation as a platform for my own scheme, to further my own ideals?"
He growls, "Now who's the one too engrossed in idiotic fairytales? You cannot take over the world single-handedly, Khushrenada. There is a series of cheques and balances for just a design." I chuckle again, and he stiffens, taking it as scorn perhaps. "I do not understand you. You are infuriatingly arrogant and vain in your complexities, and yet you wish the world to view you as some sort of commonplace only-did-what-needed-to-be-done hero."
"I assure you--"
"No. Be quiet. I will not tolerate anymore of your nonsensical interruptions." He sets his jaw and glowers. I have to hide the smirk, knowing it would enrage him further but unable to stop myself from finding his character amusing. Such an intriguing opponent… "I wish to know the reason behind the destruction of my colony. If you are so against the Federation's continuing take-overs, why allow such an epitomic massacre?"
I blink. "I'm afraid you'll have to enlighten me. I am unsure of what incident you speak."
"L5-A0206. Two years ago. Your soldiers attacked, killing thousands of my clansmen, my wife. What reason have you for it?"
I frown. "I do remember that. Tragedy… I assure you, young Chang, that you have my deepest sympathies for it. But what reason have you to think I was behind it?"
He bristles, "Your sympathies mean less than nothing; my Mei Ran was worth more than your pitiful assurances. Was it or was it not your signature approving the attack?"
"It may or may not have been. But I can give surety to you, it was not my hand that made it so. Whatever your source, I did no such thing; I do not believe in such underhanded abuse of power."
There was a long pause. "You deny responsibility then?"
"I do. I knew nothing of it until the news of the battle's aftermath."
He takes a long moment to come to terms with that, staring unfocused at my carpeting beneath his feet. Finally, my young visitor purses his lips and nods. "Then I apologise. My duel should not have been with you but with the cad who forged your signature."
I nod, "However much I need to thank them for allowing me the pleasure of meeting you, I will be sure to look into it. I may not have so much power at the moment, but I am still able to assure you whoever it was will be dealt with."
"He will be, but it will be by my hand. You have nothing to do with this, it is not your fight." He wavers a moment, frowning, "Do not deny me my right to avenge it."
Yes, yes indeed – the pilot of the fifth Gundam is definitely most amusing. If only because I find myself refreshed in his presence… "I wish you luck then. Soldier to soldier,"
He scoffs and turns to leave. Halfway out the door, he pauses, then steps back to look at me over his shoulder. "Once," he begins softly, looking as though he would rather not admit whatever it is, "Once, it was standard procedure for the leaders of both armies to meet in the centre of the battlefield. They would shake hands, wish each other luck, and then go back to their front lines. After the battle was announced to have begun, they fought alongside their men, and it was an honourable fight…"
He sighs, looking down again. "Things have changed, haven't they?"
I smile, nodding. "Indeed. 'Tis a shame it has to such a degree."
He looks at me, long and hard, and then comments, "You seem better qualified for those times. Almost as if you had come straight out of them… Is it difficult living in such a different society?"
Speechless, I admit I must have gaped at him for some time before shrugging it off. "You think I am not the same as any other military leader here and now? I'm afraid I must correct you, dear Chang. I am exactly like them, all of them,"
"You are not. I would not say you are honourable, for who leaves a defeated enemy alive to be tortured with the guilt?, but you are not the same as the other Romefeller soldiers." I could not think of a word to reply. It was the most twisted, rude, and blunt compliment I had ever received, and to have it given by such a person…
I bow low to him. "While I beg to differ… I am flattered that you think of me so highly, young Chang."
He sniffs.
Ah, such a worthy adversary! And yet, are we really enemies? We both had been betrayed by Romefeller, and are alone in our old-fashioned views of battle. It pains me to know that the first time we met I had taken his honour in battle, and yet… I am relieved. The next time we meet it will be in battle again, and he will take my life. I am grateful such a person would be the one to, had worried I would not be rewarded an honourable death at the hands of a commendable warrior.
"You would do well to not forget that I also think of you as an exasperatingly haughty lark who believes himself above reproach. Will you not get your own hands dirty in this war, or will you only send out your blindly-loyal troops to bloody their conscience for you?"
"You think I am nothing more than a lowly puppet-master? How… positively demeaning." I give a sharp snort and shake my head. "I assure you, my friend, when the time comes where it will mean something, I will undoubtedly be beside my men in battle. For now it is more efficient the way it was, for what good could I do if I were dead?"
He curls a lip, most likely thinking me a coward and an unskilled one at that. It's fine, whatever helps his will to continue the fight. Chang mutters something about convenience as he turns back to the doorway. I smile, knowing he too realises what our next meeting will be like, and wait as he nods curtly.
"We shall meet again,"
"I wouldn't have it any other way," I assure. He swallows then twists that mouth into a sneer and stalks off.
Calling out, I bid him good-bye and watch quietly as he disappears down my hallway.
fini--