DISCLAIMER: I do not own JTHM or the characters from JTHM! Those belong to Jhonen Vasquez! THANKS!

The Perfect Human

Chapter: 1

Intro

Stoicism: The endurance of pain or hardship without display of feelings and without complaint.

From Johnny C. to the readers:

I regret to inform you that perfection is not free-form. It is a strict set of needs and the philosophy of stoicism.

Perfection is as the -at first glance unachievable- image displayed for us. Commonly people try to achieve this image the wrong way; Starving themselves to the very bone, paying far too much attention too the people around them and attacking them any way they can with words; a harsh weapon in itself.

True perfection is not so easily reached and though it takes much time and effort to reach perfection, it can so easily be destroyed. It can slip through your fingers at the moment you let your guard down.

While perfection is nearly unachievable, it is possible. We are all born with the potential for perfection.

It is through experiences and the teachings of others that we lock away that potential.

Is is possible to raise a perfect human being?

"Hey.."

Silence.

The voice spoke up "Hey!.."

"What?"

"I'm hungry."

"I don't care.." The road passed quickly, each line on the road seemed a blur from the speed of the car as it passed fields of green and the california hills, their grass rolling softly in the breeze. The sun was at high noon in the middle of the sky, a few billowy clouds making their way through the blue. The beauty was interrupted by a growl from Johnny's stomach.

"See? Hungry!" The voice raised further, gaining the shape of a person in the passenger seat, very similar-looking to Johnny himself.

Johnny narrowed his eyes at the road; almost to a close, and sighed. "That's MY stomach, Idiot.."

"We have the same stomach! We're the same person! I'm you! You're talking to yourself! BOOM! MIND BLOWN!"The counterpart in the passenger seat of the car made a head-exploding gesture.

Johnny pulled the car to the side of the road, anger obstructing his concentration. "Gawd, shut up!"

The passenger pointed at Johnny with a cheshire cat-like smile. "HA! I made you all exclamatory!"

"I hate you.."

"You hate yourself?" The twin tilted it's head

"Smart-ass.."

"You think my ass is smart?" The 'other self' beamed with happiness.

"UUURGH.." Johnny sighed heavily, banging his head on the steering wheel of his beat-up-on-the-outside-tattered-on-the-inside car.

There was a long pause of silence before the unwanted passenger spoke up. "...Hey."

"WHAT?" Johnny snapped his head in the direction of the very oddly-dressed look-alike of himself with a furious look on his face.

"I'm hungry."

"FFFFFFUUUUUUUUU-" The shout was cut off as Johnny slammed his head back down on the wheel, causing the horn to erupt.

Johnny grumbled, sitting down at a booth in a road-side diner. The only way to make this stupid voice of his shut up is if he ate. He wasn't even sure if it was a voice.. It didn't behave like a normal voice. Sure, they did take form, but they didn't just appear out of thin air, they didn't have the strength for that.

The smell of pancakes and other good things flowed about the eatery, making Johnny's stomach growl. He sat down at a free table, hunching over the table-top. It was obvious he never ate, he looked starved half to death, though not much else had changed besides his hair, which had grown back, now in need of a hair cut.

"MMM food, I'm starvinggg!" The rather anoying voice spoke up, now back inside Nny's head, "God, it smells delicious!" His stomach continued to growl.

"Hey.. The hell kind of voice are you anyway?" Nny spoke up

"Hm? Are you stupid? I'm not a voice, I'm an Emotion.."

Johnny twitches slightly. "A WHAT? Which one? You're not supposed to be here. Go away!" He angrily Pointed in the direction of the doorway.

The emotion spoke up. "Woah Woah! Calm down, people are staring.. My name is Desire. Second of all, you're doing a terrible job of getting rid of us.."

"US?" Johnny hissed.

"SHHHH.. Okay look, we're all really sick of this, it's stupid and impossible and you're just being an asshole. This whole thing is absurd. I want to eat again, and tired is.. well, TIRED.. Anger scares me and sadness's crying is really starting to get anoying.."

Nny's voice had gone to an angry whisper. "SHUTUPYOU'RECONFUSINGME! Ok what the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about your emotions.."

Johnny was silent for a moment before speaking up. "I'm done talking now."

"We're not just an idea you know, We're a part of your brain, idiot! To get rid of us you would have to seriously mess up your brain! Like with a drill.."

"What an idea..." Johnny looked out the window, rubbing his chin.

"DON'T YOU DARE." The voice seemed angry now, nothing like the previous.

"I'm not that stupid.."

"Yes you are! You're the reason everything is going to hell, you little shit!" The emotion of anger exclaimed.

"Woah what happened to you?" Nny's expression became slightly surprised.

"Mood swings. I'm Anger.."

"So you're the reason for everything that's gone wrong.." Johnny sighed

"As if. The only sorce of all your problems is yourself. So stupid, blaming everything on everyone else, Coward."

"WATCH IT.." Nny hissed.

"BITE ME.." Anger growled back.

"Just shut up and eat your food..."

"I can't eat without you, Idiot.."

Johnny growled, beginning to eat his food. "You're lucky im in a GOOD MOOD.."

The voice giggled slightly. "You call that a good mood?"

I promise more!