Taylor is driving fast, really fast. I look at him through the rearview mirror and I can see he's anxious, worried.
The dread I'm feeling takes over me. A mix of horrible feelings floods my thoughts, as last days' events come to mind.
This is too much... I've never felt this desperate, this out of control.
It's just chaos… everything in my mind right now is chaos. I feel lost, scared, guilty and angry...very angry.
Ana...my love…
Why does she always have to be like this? Why didn't she tell me? Why the hell did she do this?!
And why on earth can't she stop putting herself in danger every other goddamn second?! Doesn't she realize it? Doesn't she understand that she's my everything? That my life would be meaningless without her now? That I couldn't live with myself knowing that something happened to her because of me?
A strange, new kind of pain is taking place now...
It's not just her anymore... She's... she is carrying my child now... our baby...Junior...
The discomfort of that thought is overshadowed by an even worse one ... Hyde.
That son of a bitch! The greatest fear and the deepest fury occupy my head. What are you doing to her? ... to them?
Horrible images of the fucking bastard hurting my wife, my family, come to mind ... It's too much.
The fury I feel now occupies everything ... I want to kill him ... kick his head until it bursts...
And then I hear it...A gunshot...loud and deafening.
Thoughts completely leave my mind as I feel the blood and air disappear from my body. For the second time in my life, I am in complete shock. I can't think, I cannot move, I can't breathe...
Ana ...Junior...
I feel my body jerk backwards as Taylor speeds up. A few seconds later, I hear the chirping of the wheels, while Taylor stops abruptly, pushing us both forward.
And then I see her. Alive ... She's alive! The air finds its way back into my lungs and my brain starts working again. Ana! I jump out of the car and run towards her.
As I get closer, the apex of tranquility I had just felt, only a moment ago, is completely gone.
She is livid, lost, with a gun in her hand and trembling like a leaf. I take a better look at her face and see the blood running from her head to her cheek ... Oh, God! No!
- Ana! Baby! Ana! I'm screaming as loud as I can, but my voice is barely audible somehow.
She takes her hands to her womb and looks up at me, with her beautiful blue eyes so full of fear that it makes my heart stop.
And then, they close...
- Ana? Ana! No! Ana! Baby, wake up!... Please baby! I need you... Don't leave me!
Junior...
Out of the corner of my eye I can see that Taylor is on top of Hyde, saying something to Sawyer, who is getting a hold of a woman. Is that Elizabeth Morgan?
Ana is not responding... her body is languid. It is cold ... very cold ... And a distant memory, that I do not want to remember, turns the pain into a freight train, that runs me over and crushes me like a lightning.
I want to shake her, slap her, so she wakes up ... but I can't move, I can't breathe.
Junior...
Suddenly, the pain is mixed with the worst and most intense anger I've felt in my 28 years of life.
I want to kill him ... I'm going to kill him ...
I turn and see him. His trying to grab his leg, trying to stop the bleeding.
He's handcuffed, and Taylor is talking on his Blackberry. I cannot think, or see anything ... the only thing that occupies my mind right now is hatred, violent anger towards that son of a bitch, that piece of shit that broke my life, that went after my only treasure.
It only takes a few seconds... There is only pain in my mind and images of myself smashing his skull, breaking his jaw ... and, before I realize it, I'm kicking his head, putting all my strength into each hit of my foot. He is screaming and choking, but that doesn't stop me, I do not care. I can feel his rib breaking against my foot, but it's not enough...
- Fucking coward!...I think I'm gonna kill him... Fucking asshole!
Sawyer helps Taylor and, together, they manage to hold me back and get me away from the bastard.
- Mr Grey!... Christian!..Taylor says with a shaky voice, trying to calm me down.
I can hear sirens in the distance, and then it all comes back...the pain, the agony...Ana... our baby...my baby...
I stop fighting Taylor – feeling weak and hopeless – and look him in the eyes. He must be able to see the terror in mine, because – without me even having to say it aloud – he answers the question written all over me.
- She's alive Christian, she's alive.
A sense of relief takes over my body, making my legs go weak, and I start crying... desperately...like a child...
I run towards the ambulance they're getting Ana in. I sit beside her and take her hand – getting it wet with my tears – as the vehicle starts to move.
- Ana, sweetheart, come back to me... please baby. Come back, I'm so sorry, I love you Ana...I love you both...
She is still not responding. She's unconscious, cold ... But she's alive.