A/N : This is one project that I just had to write, and that I thoroughly enjoyed. I'm not too displeased with the result and I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. If you have a moment to spare to write a quick review, I'd be ever so grateful.
Also please keep in mind I don't have a beta. If you want to volunteer, please do !
CHAPTER 1 : On the Run
Head bowed low to avoid any blaster fire Bail Organa accelerated, only narrowly avoiding a crash with several airspeeders in front of him. Ignoring the indignated shouts that came after him in a half-dozen languages he blinked away his tears, not all of them due to the wind. They killed the two younglings, right in front of him. Two children, dead, just like that, for no reason other than they were Jedi. He tried to control his helpless rage, but it almost blinded him. Even if you considered the Jedi a danger, they were just kids ! All Palpatine had to do was cast them out, or train them as his own - at worst emprison them. Not kill them ! It went against everything he believed in, everything he had fought for. How had this happened ? How had things spiralled down, when had they wandered off the path of justice without anyone noticing ?
Bail took a deep breath and slowed his airspeeder down. Cautiously, he looked over his shoulder. No fire had come after him, and they did not seem to be following him either... so his diplomatic immunity still had some value. Good. Not that it would stop Palpatine if he became too much of an obstacle, Bail had no illusions on that count. For that matter he may still be arrested today or tomorrow. No, he needed to play his cards carefully, protect what was still salvageable.
And Obi-Wan, Master Yoda... Bail bit his lower lip. He felt an icy dread in his chest when he thought of them and all of his Jedi friends and acquaintances. Were they all dead ? He could not believe it. Certainly not all of them. They were Jedi ! How could they not see this coming ?!
Still shocked and dazed, Bail realized that he had flown ahead without a thought to his destination. He had to go to the Senate, see what was going on. Palpatine would certainly make some kind of public announcement. Maybe the toppling of the government could still be avoided if the Senate stood united against him...
...or he would just have anyone who opposed him killed. They would quickly fall in line if he did - and the scary thought was, he did have that power. They had given it to him themselves.
Maybe we do have the leaders we deserve.
Bail shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind and veered off sharply to the right to head to the Senate. He could be there within half-an-hour if he was fast.
At that very moment he heard a slight sound behind him and his airspeeder rocked slightly. And then something cold was pressed to his head and he heard a threatening voice.
"You will do as I say, or I will have to hurt you."
Taken completely by susprise Bail froze, then risked a glance to his side. He could not see his agressor's face without turning his head, and he was not eager to risk it - whoever it was seemed awfully jumpy. More surprisingly, it was a very young voice, a child's almost certainly.
... a child...
Bail squinted painfully to his right to make out the shape of the object pressed against his head. It did look like a...
"Stop fidgeting !" The kid's voice was slightly panicked, maybe because he was thinking of what would happen if Bail disregarded his injonctions and he had to make a choice whether to kill him.
"You're a youngling", Bail said with certainty. "From the Temple." He blinked. "How in the blazes did you manage to sneak on my airspeeder without the troopers noticing ?"
"I came from the level below", the boy said - he was clearly used to answering adult's questions immediately and without pause. "I was able to force-jump under your speeder and hold there. The troopers were too busy shooting Zett... they did not pay attention."
"Impressive", Bail said with sincere admiration, then thought belatedly that it might not be the best sentiment to express when the kid just mentioned a fellow youngling's death.
"Look", the kid said after an awkward pause, "I don't want to hurt you. Just drop me off where I tell you and then you can go your own way."
"I want to help you", Bail said quickly. No way he was letting a Jedi youngling fend for himself in Coruscant with no money and looks as recognizable as a wookie in a crowd of sullustans.
"If you want to help then do what I said", the kid said.
"If I do that you'll get killed before tomorrow", Bail said with dark certainty. He went on hurriedly before the kid had time to protest that he could take care of himself. "Listen, I know you're a Jedi and you're pretty good at it, too, considering you managed to escape with your life." A little flattery could not hurt. "But you're alone, without money, with only a lightsaber for a weapon - and the moment you use it you will be recognized. Add to that the fact that you're a minor so you can't get a job, at least not legally. And with your clothes you'll be recognized at first glance. Please let me help you - I can hide you as long as necessary. I can protect you."
Even as he spoke Bail prayed that the future not prove him wrong. A little part of him wondered in panic what he was doing - he was not even sure to survive the next few days and now he was dragging this kid with him ?
Then again, it would always be more of a chance than the kid would have on his own.
He seemed to waver, as much as Bail could tell. Throughout the discussion he had not been able to see the kid's face, in part because of the very real threat of his lightsaber on Bail's head and in part because he was piloting his airspeeder and had to see where he was going. Now he pulled out of the traffic and found a quiet place between two buildings to stop temporarily, then he turned back to look at the youngling, reasonably certain now that he could do so safely. The kid recoiled slightly but kept his saber at a threatening angle. At least now Bail could see him ; he was human, at least in appearance, perhaps ten to twelve years of age, with longish dark hair and the telling Padawan braid behind his ear. His sharp, stern features - too stern for a child - were illuminated by very light blue eyes, above a pointed nose. Dried blood matted his hair where a blaster bolt only nearly missed him, and Bail winced slightly in sympathy - it must be painful.
"I'm Bail Organa", he said. "You must have heard my name before. You know I'm a friend of the Jedi."
The boy started at that information, then looked closely at Bail's face. His face twitched as he pondered that development. "Do you have an identification ?" He tried to sound sure of himself but his wavering voice gave him away. No wonder - despite his training he was essentially just a kid. Not ready for war yet.
Not that anyone was ever truly ready for that.
"Yes, I do. I'm going to show it to you now, all right ?"
The boy's eyes narrowed in suspicion and his eyes fell on the blaster that was tucked in the box in front of the passenger's seat. It was a snudge too far for Bail to grab it even if he lunged for it, but the boy extended his hand and the blaster floated to him. "Go ahead."
Now the boy was aiming at Bail with both his saber and the blaster, which Bail found to be a bit much but understandable under the circumstances. Steadily and carefully, he put one hand in his pocket to withdraw his wallet from which he took his diplomatic card, a thin piece of filmplast that displayed his name under his photograph and accreditations with the stamp of the Senate and the Chancellor's signature. The boy relaxed marginally when he saw it and ascertained that Bail was, most likely, who he said he was.
"You're friends with Master Kenobi and Master Yoda."
It was more a statement than a question, but Bail answered all the same. "Yes, I am."
"Have you... before the... did you..." the boy fumbled for words.
"I talked to them, they were going to the Temple to stop the broadcast of the signal recalling the Jedi to Coruscant. To warn them to stay away and hide."
"Oh... then they're in the Temple ? Now ?! We have to go and get them !"
"No", Bail said in a definite tone of voice. "For starters, I have no way to tell them where to meet me, and the Temple will be watched. Going there would put them in more danger and it wouldn't help them at all. They will contact me when they make it out of the Temple."
The boy opened his mouth to protest but thought better of it and, deflated, looked down.
"Master Kenobi and Master Yoda are very strong, you know", Bail said gently. "Don't worry about them. They've beaten worse odds."
"I guess..."
"Listen - " Bail realized belatedly that he did not even know the boy's name yet. "Do you trust me, now ?"
The boy bit his lips as he eyed Bail and then warily nodded. Bail could see the reservations in his countenance but grudging trust would do for now.
"Alright then. Will you let me help you ?"
The boy must have realized he really did not have much of a choice for he nodded after only a short hesitation. Bail relaxed ; maybe he would be able to do one thing right today, after all. "Good. There's no time to waste. Sit on the passenger's seat, will you ?"
Shedding the last of his hesitation and fear, the boy complied, although he still held on to the blaster.
"Put the blaster away", Bail said. "I don't want the police arresting us and they might if they see a minor with a weapon."
Now that he had finally decided to trust him, the boy obeyed promptly.
"Hide your lightsaber, and... Bail eyed the boy critically. He was still too recognizable. He undid the clasp of his cloak and handed it to the boy. "Put that on, it'll hide your Jedi uniform. And keep your braid tucked under your shirt." They were going to have to cut that braid as soon as they had a pair of scissors in hand. And get rid of the saber too, except that would not go over well with the boy...
The boy struggled with the cloak for a few seconds before he managed to wrap it around him in a way that did not look too ridiculous, and vaguely resembled a failed attempt to be fashionable. It also made him look much younger and helpless. Bail nodded in approval. "Good. And fasten your seatbelt", he added as in an afterthought.
The boy rolled his eyes - obviously, after what he had been through, he did not find traffic to be his main cause of worry - but he obeyed without protest. Thank heavens Jedi trainees were usually polite and well-behaved. Bail could think of a few Senator's children who would be whining and crying and yelling and throwing temper tantrums, by now. Unless the boy was merely shocked into obedience by what he had just been through.
"What's your name ?" Bail asked as he disengaged the airspeeder from its safe spot and reentered traffic. He glanced at the boy when an answer was not forthcoming. "I already know you're a Jedi", he reminded him. "So it's not like it'll make much of a difference, right ?"
The boy mulled that over. "Neeka", he said finally. "Neeka Kurian."
Bail smiled. "Nice to meet you, Neeka."
"I am pleased to make your acquaintance as well, Senator Organa."
Bail bit his lips not to laugh at the overly formal tone. Neeka sounded like he was reciting word for word what he had learnt in Protocol class - which was probably the case.
"Since we're stuck together in this, I think you can call me Bail. Or just "sir" if you prefer." Bail always had had a soft spot for children, even more so after his and Breha's failed attempts at starting a family of their own.
"Thank you, sir", Neeka mumbled awkwardly.
The sound of an explosion, followed by a blaze of orange light, made them look up sharply. From where they were flying, relatively high in the sky, they had a perfect view on the origine of the blast.
"The Temple", Neeka said. His voice broke, as he watched his home go up in flames.
Bail hesitated, then lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. He dared not presume more than that. He could see Neeka's tense jaw in the semi-darkness of the Coruscanti evening, and his livid face that took an otherworldly quality in the flickering lights of traffic and holo-adds. The boy angrily wiped his eyes, startling Bail who had not noticed the tears.
"I'm sorry", Bail said quietly.
The boy shrugged in an attempt to dismiss his own helpless anger and distress. "Not your fault." He bared his teeth and sniffled, all tears and rage. "I'll grow up to be a Jedi and then I'll kill them all." His voice was thick with unshed tears. Bail wondered if the hollow threat was really something a future Jedi should be saying but he did not have it in him to rebuke the child. His home and friends had just been destroyed in front of him, his whole life crushed. Let him mourn, let him reach acceptance on his own. There would be time later for talks of justice and revenge and the right path.
There was nothing to be gained by staring. Bail restarted his airspeeder - he was not the only one to have stopped, he noticed, many onlookers had as well, and he had to zig-zag through them to leave the area.
All this called for a change of plans. There could be no questions of going to the Senate with Neeka in tow - but he did have to go. Well, first things first. He'd go back to his quarters, make sure Breha was fine - along with the rest of his household - and drop the boy off in their care. Then he would go to the Senate and do what he could. Bail frowned slightly, pondering the matter. Would it be better to send Breha back with Neeka and an escort ? Or keep her here near him, where he would have a chance to protect her ? He did need to get Neeka off-planet if he could, before the Imperials had time to check the records and verify the body counts. The burning of the Temple, horrible though it was to witness, may be useful in this regard. They would definitely have more than a few unidentified bodies to deal with and DNA analysis would take at least a few days to add it all up. Yes, he should take advantage of that time and get Neeka to safety. No doubt they could foster him on Alderaan... well, he was getting ahead of himself.
"Where are we going ?" Neeka asked. He still sounded like he was about to cry.
"To my home", Bail said reassuringly. "You'll be safe there."
"But..." Neeka's voice faltered. "They saw you at the Temple, didn't they ? How do you know they won't be at your house ? They might want to arrest you..."
For once Bail wished Jedi trainees were not quite so quick on the uptake. "Well, they might but I very much doubt it", he said in his most reasonable voice. "I am a Senator, you know, so I have diplomatic immunity. Technically I did nothing illegal. It's not forbidden to stop at the Jedi Temple, and they don't know you're with me. I don't think they would want to cause an uproar by arresting me for no reason."
"But they could think of a reason. Or make up one."
"They could", Bail allowed. "But why would they bother ? They have more urgent things to do. Going after me just wouldn't be worth it. It would gain them a lot of ill-will and very little advantage." It would make a lot more sense for them to put pressure on him with threats of emprisonment to manipulate him into supporting Palpatine's overthrow, but Neeka did not need to know that.
"Oh. I guess you're right."
"I hope I am, or you and I are in a lot of trouble", Bail said with forced humour.
Neeka rewarded his effort with a shy, wavering smile, then frowned again and looked at Bail from the corner of his eyes. "Me being with you, it puts you in danger, doesn't it ?"
Bail shrugged offhandedly. "I'm in danger just for being friends with Masters Yoda and Kenobi, so that doesn't really change much." A good thing being a Senator had trained him to lie well and think fast, because saving Neeka did, in fact, put him in tremendous amounts of danger. And while Bail was ready to put his own life on the line he did hesitate to risk Breha's life as well.
They flew all the way to Bail's quarters without being stopped, but that was hardly surprising. The city was in chaos. On the way they saw at least two or three firefighter units. When Bail flicked on the radio it reported several fires - it seemed to have spread from the Jedi Temple - and there seemed to have been a commotion in other parts of the city when they had tried to kill several Jedi. Bail hoped dearly they had managed to escape, although the news reporter was silent on that point.
He was relieved to find the familiar shape of the luxurious building where he had his quarters. It seemed intact and everything was fairly quiet around it, but Bail's heart still beat a little too fast when he brough his airspeeder to a halt on the landing strip attached to his flat. His worries were soon put to rest however, because the instant he jumped down he saw his wife running to him from the balcony. Bail let out a sigh of relief as he opened his arms and they embraced tightly.
"I was so worried... thank heavens you're safe", she whispered in his ear, without letting go of him.
"Me too", he murmured in reply. "I was terrified they might come here." They finally separated and he grasped her arms. "Breha, they still might. Palpatine's coup is a success so far. We have to be ready for whatever is to come."
"I know. They won't find a single suspicious item in the flat. I checked."
Bail nodded. "I hadn't thought of that. Good."
"Bail, are we going back to Alderaan ? Or staying ?"
"I was thinking of that - I think you should go."
"I was thinking we might stay", she said calmly.
He stared at her, aghast, but quickly recovered. Breha was not a fool. "Why ?"
"Listen, if we go it'll give free reign to Palpatine for groundless accusations. If we stay, it'll make it harder for him. Also, Alderaan needs to be represented. That's why we're here in the first place, so that Alderaan can make its stand for democracy. And besides, do you really think that leaving would protect us ? It doesn't matter if we're on Coruscant or Alderaan. Palpatine just overthrew the government and murdered the Jedi, what's two more murders to him ?"
"If we retreat to Alderaan he might consider us less of a threat." Bail sighed. Why was he running from the facts ? Then again, it was hard to face that sort of unpleasant facts. "No, I know, you're right. It would also cut us off from our friends and anyone who might support us."
Breha sighed and snuggled against him. "I've had time to think about it while you were out there. I don't like it either, but we can't run while the Republic crumbles around us. We'd be swallowed up in the debris anyway."
"Breha, it's clearly my duty to stay, but I was hoping you'd agree to go. There's no sense in risking both our lives."
"Oh, Bail..." She brought her arm up around his shoulder. "For better or for worse, do you remember ? In health, and in sickness..."
"Breha..."
"I know the risks, Bail. And I don't enjoy it. But if we wait until it's safe to be together, I fear we'll never see each other again." She embraced him again and lay her chin on his shoulder. "I don't want to grow old alone", she whispered in his ear.
Bail closed his eyes and swallowed back his fears. Breha had the right to make this choice, and as much as he hated to see her in danger, he would feel better having her by his side. But there was another angle to the matter.
"There is another reason why I wanted you to go", he said. It was only half a lie. He lowered his voice. "I was at the Jedi Temple earlier, Breha."
"I saw it on the news." She shuddered in his arms. "How dreadful... Are they all dead ? The Jedi ?"
"Not all." Bail looked up at Neeka who had remained surprisingly quiet in the airspeeder while they talked. He seemed to be holding something under Bail's cloak - his lightsaber, presumably. "Come down", Bail called softly to him.
Lithe as a cat, Neeka slid down the side of the airspeeder until his feet hit the ground. Now that he was standing he really looked ridiculous with Bail's cloak draped over him like a toga. Kinda cute, too.
The only thing that betrayed Breha's surprise was her sharp intake of breath, but she quickly recovered. She was used to the media and to the game of appearances, and few things could really throw her off. "Hello, young man", she said softly. Like Bail, she had a soft spot for children.
Neeka bowed, eyes cast down. "Greetings, Your Highness."
"Oh, surely there's no need for such formality, is there ?" Breha knelt to be approximately at Neeka's height. "My name is Breha. Or you can call me Lady Organa if you prefer."
He was looking stubbornly at his feet. "Thank you, your Highness", he said in a low voice.
Breha looked over him at Bail and mouthed a few words. Is he a... she pointed discreetly at the boy. Bail nodded emphatically. Oh yes, he was. Breha grimaced slightly, fully cognizant of the numerous problems this would raise.
"And you, what's your name ?" Breha probed gently.
"It's Neeka", Bail volunteered. "Neeka Kurian."
"Oh, that's a lovely name !"
The boy finally stop pretending his feet were so fascinating and looked up at her, a look of vague surprise on his face at the inanity of the comment. "Er, thank you ma'am", he managed to say politely.
"We should get you inside, it's getting a little chilly out there." Breha tightened the scarf around her shoulders.
"I can't stay", Bail announced. He saw Breha bite her lips and thought she would object, but she merely nodded.
"To the Senate ?"
"Yes. No, wait. I should try and warn the Jedi off first. I'll see if anything can be done..." Bail hesitated. "I'm not sure when I'll be back." He wasn't sure he would be back at all.
Breha understood, he knew it from the way she looked at him - like it might be the last time. But her voice was firm when she spoke. "Of course you must go. I'll take care of Neeka here."
Bail looked at her. She had a few more wrinkles, a few more grey hair, but he did not see them. To him she was as beautiful as the first day they had met. He wanted to take her in his arms, to embrace her, to kiss her forever... "Thank you", he said instead. "I'll try to send you word regularly."
Before he had time to regret any of this he climbed back into his airspeeder. He had not bothered to turn it off so it only took a few seconds to take off again. The last vision of his home was Breha waving back at him, a hand protectively on Neeka's shoulder.
Only this morning, Neeka's worries had been trivial. He had failed to complete his homework in time, and to top it off had arrived late in class because he had forgotten one of his assignments and had had to go back for it. Master Ali-Alann had told him he would be on laundry duty as punishment for the rest of the week. Now he would not have to do it, and he felt a somewhat hysterical laughter bubble up in his throat. Tears stung his eyes, but he would not let them come out. Not in front of someone else. Jedi were supposed to be calm and in control at all times, weren't they ?
But then, Jedi were also supposed to know the future and to take every element into account before making any decision. Neeka had always thought the Masters were unfallible. They always knew when he lied, or even when he was being anything less than truthful. Sometimes, they knew things about him he did not even know himself. So what had happened ? How could they have been taken so utterly by surprise ? And everyone had been killed, Neeka felt it in that dark knot that twisted his stomach, in the nausea that threatened whenever he allowed himself to think of what had happened. He blinked back tears. All he wanted now was to be alone.
"Neeka", Lady Organa said gently to get his attention.
He looked up at her. She seemed nice, and the Force did not ring any warnings when he came near her. "Yes, your Highness." His voice sounded far from normal even to his own ears.
"We need to get ready in case someone comes", she said seriously, and he was glad she spoke to him like an adult.
She seemed to expect an answer so he nodded. "What should I do ?"
"First of all, clean up and change clothes", she decided, studying him. She inhaled sharply when the right side of his face came into view. "No, change of plans, we'll take care of your wounds first. That must be painful."
"A little." Maybe a little more than that. He had been too strung up and pumped up with adrenaline to really feel the burn when it hit him, but now it smarted.
"Come on in then." She took his hand and encouragingly led him to the door, but Neeka recoiled when he saw all the people inside. Two ladies, one man who wore an official-looking suit, another man who looked like an officer, and a whole security squad. Neeka squizzed his saber tighter, although he knew he had no chance of getting away if they suddenly decided he was more bother than was worth.
"Please don't be afraid", Breha said, her voice soothing. "These are my friends."
Neeka warily eyed the security squad, whom he had labelled as the most dangerous occupants of the room. Breha followed his gaze.
"Captain Durane, perhaps your men could wait in the drawing room for a moment."
"My lady - " the Captain said, on the verge of contesting a royal order.
"Now, Captain", Breha said in a definite tone of voice.
Clearly unhappy, Durane nodded at his men and they withdrew to the drawing room in orderly fashion. Neeka was still nervous at the idea of entering the room and being essentially trapped inside, but he also felt a warm feeling that Breha would bother to make him comfortable rather than dragging him inside - or leaving him to his fate. Or giving him away to the authorities, for that matter.
"Do you feel safe enough to come inside now ?" Breha asked him gently.
Not really. All she had to do was call her men back and he would be at her mercy. But Bail Organa was taking a huge risk aiding him and she was his wife, so maybe she could be trusted. He would have to trust someone at some point, anyway. And Neeka remembered seeing Senator Organa walking with Master Kenobi in the Temple, once. He swallowed, clenched his teeth and stepped inside. He waited, all of his muscles tense, but Lady Organa did not call the men back in, nor did she try to close the door behind him. Slightly reassured, Neeka took one more step inside. When nothing happened he relaxed marginally. Lady Organa was as good as her word. And she gave him a very nice smile, too.
"Thank you for trusting me, Neeka."
He was at a loss what to say. Wasn't he supposed to thank her for helping him ? "You're welcome", he said without thinking, then felt horribly embarrassed when he realized how inappropriate that was. "I mean", he said hastily, "I want to say thank you for taking me in. I know it's dangerous for you."
"Nonsense", she waved his thanks away. "I couldn't let you fend for yourself."
"Yes, you could have", he said stubbornly. "Most people would have." They had broached that sort of topic in Philosophy class last semester, the way people tended to act selfishly and why they, younglings, should strive not to. "So I'm... I mean... thank you." He felt horribly stupid with everyone staring at him.
Breha helped him out with a smile. "Well, you're already a true diplomat, aren't you ? Come now, let's get you sorted out. Captain Durane, you have some knowledge in first aid, don't you ? Why don't you get the first-aid kit in the bathroom and see to Neeka's burns ?"
"As you wish, your Highness."
Neeka could not tell from the Captain's face what his true feelings on the matter were, and the Force was particularly unhelpful in that regard as well. He looked at the retreating, stern figure with mixed feelings. Well, the Captain was Alderaanian, so he would do what Lady Organa bade him, right ?
"Neeka, I'd like to introduce you to Sateen and Sheltav", Lady Organa said, drawing his attention back to her. She pointed at the two ladies he had seen earlier. One of them was brown haired and wore a gown with an intricate design. The other had a more traditional Alderaanian garb, and was blond. Both were beautiful, and both had very, very long hair gathered up on their heads in a complicated hairstyle that involved numerous pins and certainly a lot of hairgel.
Trying to remember what had been taught in Protocol class Neeka performed the minimal bow favoured by Jedi. "Lady Sateen, Lady Sheltav, it is a pleasure to meet you."
"Oh, what good manners he has", Lady Sheltav (the brown-haired one) cooed, to his everlasting embarassment.
Lady Sateen was much less girlish in her evaluation of him and merely nodded back to him. He found he much preferred that no-nonsense attitude of hers.
"And this is Tarrik", Lady Organa concluded, gesturing at the man decked in a suit. "He's Bail's assistant. Well, one of them."
"Sir." Neeka repeated his bow and the man nodded politely back, then went back to ignoring him. Fair enough.
Captain Durane came back then with the first-aid kit and Lady Organa ushered Neeka to the couch. "Sit, sit." She smiled at him.
Neeka obeyed but removed Senator Organa's cloak first. Captain Durane set the first-aid kit on the couch and rummaged inside while eyeing Neeka's wound with the air of a professional. He took a small bottle full of a clear liquid and sprayed it generously on a patch of gauze. "I'll clean the wound first", Captain Durane said. "It might sting a little."
Neeka shrugged. It always stung. Sometimes more than stung. He remembered vividly the time he had broken his arm in Physical Training, and he had felt like he was going to die if the pain went on much longer. Master Dren had told him to center and meditate to ease the pain, but that hadn't helped much.
It did sting and more than a little when Captain Durane wiped away the grime and dried blood, and try as he may, Neeka let out a small noise of protest.
"Almost done", the Captain said without looking at him. He threw away the now filthy patch of gauze and tore out the wrapping of a bacta patch, which he applied on the burn. "It's not too bad. Might leave a scar though."
As if he cared about scars right now. Neeka's throat seemed to close when he remembered everything else he had to worry about. "Thank you", he remembered his manners in time but his voice was a little squeaky.
"Alright now", Lady Organa said, taking control of the situation, "I think you need to wash now, and while you do that I'll try and find clothes that will fit you."
Neeka nodded cautiously, and hoped whatever she picked was not too ridiculous. He was used to the simple garbs worn by the Jedi. In fact he was a little reluctant to discard his Initiate clothing even though he knew he had to. It was familiar and reassuring and it felt right wearing it.
"Here, I'll show you the bathroom."
Neeka followed Lady Organa outside the room and in a corridor and she opened the second door on the right. "There, take your time. There are towels to dry yourself with... well, just use whatever you need. I'll leave you to it."
The door closed behind Lady Organa, leaving Neeka alone. He looked at the door - yes, there was a basic locking system. He hesitated only for a second before he locked the door. Maybe it was not very polite - this was Lady Organa's flat, after all - but he felt much safer for it.
The sudden silence within the bathroom made his head pound. Everything had a slightly dreamlike quality to it. Maybe it was a dream... Neeka played with the notion. It would be nice. He would wake up in his dorm with the other younglings and Jukka would be snoring as always (he said it was a normal noise for Ithorians, but everyone knew it was complete nonsense). And then he'd go to class, and he would even be happy to do the laundry duties...
With a sigh, Neeka forced himself back to reality and slowly made his way to the lavatory. He looked at his face in the mirror ; the area around his burn was clean, but his hair was hanging in sweaty locks, and the rest of his face was dark with the grease from under Senator Organa's airspeeder. Clinging to it while the Senator was going full speed had not been fun.
Raising a hand to wipe away the grime, Neeka realized with a jolt that they were shaking. He stared at them as if they belonged to someone else. Try as he might, he could not control the trembling and worse, it gained the rest of his body. A minute later he found himself shivering and breathing heavily, his legs almost buckling under his weight. He managed to sit ungracefully before he simply collapsed and wrapped his arms around his knees. Finally a great, wracking sob escaped him and once it was out there was no hope of controlling himself.
He did not know how long he remained sobbing on the floor though it could not have been terribly long. Slowly the sobs slowed then stopped, and he just sat miserably, forehead touching his knees. His breathing gradually came back to normal, until he felt drained and empty but in control of himself.
He could not remain all night long on the floor. The idea made its way through his head and with a sigh, he stood up slowly, his muscles knotted and painful. He had never felt so awful in his life.
"It's unfair", he said out loud, then almost broke down again in a fit of hysterical laughter. Unfair was such an inadequate word for what had happened. "Unfair", he said again, just to hear the sound of the word, and let out an insane giggle. Painfully regaining control of himself he shed his clothes and climbed in the shower.
The scalding hot water felt good on his skin, vivifying and purifying. He stayed a long time in the shower, letting it drip down his body and relaxing his muscles. The water ran down his back and legs, black with dirt at first then gradually lighter. He fumbled around for the soap and shampoo and gave himself a good scrubbing, only careful to avoid the spot with his burns. There was a tender patch on his ribs with a whole array of bruises where he had fallen during his escape from the Temple, but they would fade in time.
It was a long, long time before he felt ready to face the world again and climbed out of the shower. Senator Organa's water bill was going to be costly this month, he thought, but he could not bring himself to really care. He searched for towels and rubbed his hair dry, then took the time to undo and redo his Padawan braid.
Then, feeling as if he had lost enough time, he put his old clothes back on and came out. He walked to the drawing room, the door of which hung half-open, but hesitated then stopped before coming in. Lady Organa was speaking.
"...should have called by now."
"My lady, the situation being what it is..." Lady Sheltav's voice.
"I know, I know." Lady Organa let out a frustrated sigh.
"My lady, it's your turn."
"Is it ? Well... Jedi Knight to E6."
It sounded like they were playing Strat-tac. A little ashamed for spying on her, Neeka pushed the door and entered, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. Lady Organa looked up from the Strat-tac board and adressed him a warm smile.
"My, but you look human again ! Ah, here are some clothes - I wasn't sure what you'd like so I asked Sateen to pick a few different things. You'll need a whole new wardrobe at some point, anyway."
Well, at least Sateen had been the one to pick them rather than Sheltav... the thought had barely formed in Neeka's mind that he felt ashamed again. Lady Organa was kind enough to offer him new clothes and he was there fussing about what it would look like... he cleared his throat. "I'm very grateful, Lady Organa. And to you as well, Lady Sateen." Saying such mundane things seemed completely out of place after what had happened at the Temple.
Lady Organa waved his thanks away. "It's nothing. Just pick something and change clothes, then bring back yours so we can dispose of them."
The clothes were neatly folded in a small pile and thankfully seemed to be all muted colours and sober cuts. Neeka gathered them and fled back to the bathroom to try them on. He ended up with a pair of black pants and a dark green loose tunic. His boots and belt, he decided he could keep without danger since they had nothing recognizable about them. He hung his lightsaber on his belt and folded his Jedi clothes. He did not really know why he bothered since they were going to be burnt or atomized or something, but it felt important somehow.
Back in the drawing room he presented Lady Organa with the clothes but Sateen swooped in to take them, then disappeared into another room. Lady Organa observed him critically. "Well, it looks good I think", she said finally. "We'll soon have you looking almost ordinary."
Soon ? What was there to change ? Neeka frowned and looked at himself. Well, he would have to hide his saber in public, of course, but...
"Come here, Neeka."
He looked up. Lady Organa was holding a pair of scissors. It clicked into his mind and his hand flew to his Padawan braid. "What ? No !"
She looked at him with something akin to pity. "I'm sorry but you must. It screams "Jedi" to anyone who bothers to look. You'd be spotted right away."
"But - " Neeka tried to swallow and found he couldn't. It was too much, too soon. His braid was part of him, grew with him until he was a Knight. Until he was ready to defend himself, and the Galaxy. Sometimes the Masters threatened to cut the braid of a Padawan or Initiate who misbehaved badly - something almost as bad as throwing him out of the Order - but to Neeka's knowledge they had never gone through with it.
"For heaven's sake, boy, it's just hair !" Captain Durane growled impatiently. "It grows back. Your head won't."
"Thank you Captain, I think that will be all", Lady Organa said with a dark look. The Captain shrugged and muttered, but she ignored him and turned back to Neeka. "Listen, Neeka, imagine just for a minute that Stormtroopers demand to enter five minutes from now, and then look at you and ask why you have a Jedi haircut ? And that's only if they'd bother to ask. They might just shoot all of us."
The recent memory of Zett being shot down flashed in Neeka's memory, and he remembered the smell of burnt flesh, the sound of the blaster shot, the hum of the lightsaber suddenly cut short... he felt almost physically ill.
"Neeka ?" That was Lady Organa. "Are you alright ? You look pale. Come, sit on the couch."
He gave her a sickly smile and stumbled to the couch. Sitting made him feel a little better, although it did not diminish the dread nested in the pit of his stomach.
"I'm sorry", Lady Organa said. "But it really is necessary. You do understand, don't you ?"
Neeka took a deep breath. Cutting his braid wasn't so dreadful, was it ? It would be like he graduated early to be a Knight. He could tell himself he was a powerful Knight like Anakin Skywalker. Or he could be a Jedi undercover. Well, he actually was one, kind of... that idea brought a small smile to his lips. He looked at Lady Organa, who was waiting expectantly for his answer. Maybe it was time to grow up.
"I understand", he said, his voice more firm than he expected.
Lady Organa nodded with a relieved smile. He closed his eyes tightly when she brought the scissors near his right ear, and he shivered inwardly when he heard the rustle of cut hair.
"There, it's done."
Opening his eyes, Neeka found Lady Organa holding his Padawan braid. "I don't suppose I can keep it", he said without much hope.
Lady Organa gave him an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, but it's much safer to destroy it."
Neeka nodded slowly. "Alright. Give it to me please. I'd rather do it myself."
Lady Organa looked slightly puzzled but it was a measure of her trust and respect that she handed him the braid without question. Captain Durane watched with a bored look on his face ; Sateen and Sheltav were talking sotto voce to each other, and Tarrik was reading something.
Neeka took his lightsaber in his hand and checked his surroundings, as he had always been taught before activating his saber. He did not want to cut someone by mistake. When he was satisfied there was no danger he threw the braid in the air and, with a sharp flick of the wrist, let the humming blade of his saber swallow it. Only a few ashes and a smell of burnt hair betrayed that the braid had ever existed, but at least this way it would feel like it was still with him. Kinda. He deactivated his saber and put it back at his belt.
"Ah", Captain Durane said suddenly. "About that..."
Lady Organa shot him a warning look, which went unheeded.
"...we should dismantle that lightsaber as well."
Do what ? Neeka looked cautiously at Durane then Lady Organa, sure he must have misheard. Lady Organa looked half annoyed, half sorry, a rather bad omen in and of itself. Neeka's knuckles grew painful, so hard he was holding onto his saber. "No", he said.
"Neeka..." Lady Organa began, then trailed off. "Well, we can discuss that tomorrow."
"No !" Neeka and Captain Durane said at the exact same time. Neeka glared at him.
"We can't afford to wait, your Highness", Captain Durane said. "We've dawdled too long as it is. Every minute increases the chance of a stormtrooper squad coming here. If they find something as damning as a lightsaber, we're all dead."
"I'm not giving up my lightsaber", Neeka said hotly. Master Ali-Alann would be cross with him, he thought distractedly, for feeling so strongly instead of calming himself with a Jedi meditation technique. Right now he did not care. "I don't mean to put you in danger", he told Lady Organa. "I'm grateful for everything you've done for me. But I'm not giving up my lightsaber. If my being here is too dangerous I'll leave."
"Of course you're not leaving !" She sounded appalled, embarrassed and angry all at the same time. They looked at each other, Lady Organa, Captain Durane and Neeka, none of them satisfied and none knowing how to satisfactorily end the stand-off. "How long would it take to destroy the saber ?" Lady Organa finally asked.
Captain Durane shrugged. "Depends how we do it. If we're thorough and we atomize it completely, maybe one hour. Or we can just throw it outside the window if it's an emergency, though it's riskier since someone might find it. But so long as there's no proof linking it to us..." he shrugged again.
"Good, here is my suggestion. Neeka keeps his saber -" The Captain tried to protest and Lady Organa raised a hand to silence him. " - for tonight." It was Neeka's turn to try and protest, and his turn to be silenced. "If at any point a squad of stormtroopers shows up, Neeka will throw it outside the window. Otherwise we'll reconsider the matter tomorrow. Is that agreed ?"
Captain Durane hesitated, then nodded, although he glared at Neeka. "We should have enough time to do that", he said reluctantly. "But it would be safer to dispose of it now."
"Enough", Lady Organa said. "Neeka ?"
He was still less than happy, but at least they would leave the matter rest for tonight, and that suited him just fine. "Okay."
She gave him a warning look. "You will get rid of it, without hesitation, if stormtroopers show up." It was half a question, half a statement.
Neeka considered protesting, but what use would it be ? Besides, he knew she was right. He just did not know if he could do it. Although he had no doubt Captain Durane would do it for him if it came to that... finally he nodded reluctantly. "I'll do it."
Lady Organa relaxed marginally. "Good. And now, young man, I think it's time for you to go to bed."
Neeka stared at her, aghast. She could not be serious. The Republic was collapsing, everyone was dead, Senator Organa had been gone for hours, and she wanted him to go to bed ? Unthinkable.
"If I may, your Highness, I'd rather wait until Senator Organa is back with news." He had to make a serious effort to remain polite. He knew she deserved no less from him, but he hated to be dismissed like that. Besides, he was sure he could never sleep.
"Bail might not come back until tomorrow", she said reasonably. "And you look exhausted."
"If I feel too tired I'll go", Neeka edged.
She looked at him and for a moment he thought she was going to send him to bed anyway, but she just sighed after a moment. "Alright. Alright, you may stay. I suppose you must be as eager for news as I am."
"Thank you !" He smiled at her for the first time, albeit weakly. She looked surprised, then smiled back.
"Well", Sateen yawned, "I'll make some tea then."
Tarrik looked up from whatever he was reading. "Bring some of these Coruscanti biscuits as well, will you ? I'm feeling a little peckish."
It turned out everyone was hungry, and they ended up somehow having an impromptu picknick in the drawing room. Neeka had to force himself to eat but found he felt better for it, and it helped settle his stomach. Lady Organa resumed her game of strat-tac with Sateen, and Neeka took to whispering advice to her when he thought no one was looking.
He ended up on the couch somehow, dozing off without even realizing it. He had not thought he could sleep, but when it came exhaustion crashed down on him without a warning. He barely felt someone pulling off his boots and tucking a pillow under his head before he was soundly asleep.