A/N: I've been gone for a while now and it's not healthy. Well, what can I say? I suck. /sobs anyways, YAY! MY 30th fic! WEEEEEEEEE, and for the first time, I'm letting the child in me get to me. I've had this idea since I was a kid when I was in love with the Harry Potter world. Of course, who wouldn't right? And just like you lovely folks, I made an OC of my own. Based on my favorite house: Ravenclaw, and my fascination with Animagis. Also, I was inspired with a dead awesome HP fic I can't seem to get enough of. It's called Broken Open. READ IT NOW. Anyways, here goes nothing!
Originally, I had planned to make a crossover of The Night Circus and Harry Potter. I had planned for my OC to be a muggle who caught a certain wizard's attention. Originally, I had planned Malfoy as the love interest, Luna as the best friend or Harry as the love interest. But then, the child in me got the best of me. REMINDER: THIS FICTION IS BASED ON MY CHILDISH HP FANTASIES. HAHAHAHAHA
Per usual, presence of Filipino OCs for the sake of...yeah. Culture exposure? Or just for the hang of it? Take your pick.
Warning: Due to the fact that I'm still heavily suffering writer's block, what I have written is extremely random. At least for me. So please, please, please, PLEASE be the better judge for me.
DISCLAIMER: I own NOTHING but the plot and the OC.
It was a Thursday, well, today, and it was past lunch and there weren't much students lingering in the library. And for the darnest of reasons, I've had the strangest feeling of being long stared at. Like those pair of eyes have been watching me since I entered the damn library. For a while, I tried to ignore it. But after some time, it became really uncomfortable.
And so, for what seemed to be the umpteenth time, I craned my head in search for the owner of those damnable eyes.
But to no avail, nothing.
Groan.
I fixed my beanie and returned to scribbling some important jargons off from a thick book.
A few minutes later, I can feel those damnable eyes on me again. I suddenly found myself
Gah! Just who the hell is this guy?! Can't he leave me be?
I innocently took a glance over at my shoulder, pretending to inspect the book of Transfiguration I had picked up. But again, it was to no avail.
To save from getting ourselves into trouble, I calmly took down as much notes as I can while mentally, I was torturing that one anonymous bloke.
The name's Jo by the way, Johanna Reyes, Ravenclaw, 6th year and part-Animagi. However, I'm sort of a special kind of Animagi. I can turn into any animal of my choice, of course, the normal ones – cats, dogs, snakes, ravens or frogs. But never anything as bizarre as a phoenix, a fifty foot anaconda or a griffin.
Fun fact: Professor McGonagall just happens to be my guardian. She's my grandmother's sister, thus, leaving me under her care. So you probably have a wild guess of where I inherited my unique genes.
My condition was kept in secret for a while, but soon, it suddenly spread like a wildfire after second year. Of course, I had expected the stares and looks from students. I got used to it. Even got to the part where I got over it. Screw them. I was happy with my condition, they were jealous. End of story.
Anyways, I've been here in the library for almost two hours now, making an advance research for my next class. I'm smart like that, diligent as well. It's not a surprise of why I was sorted in Ravenclaw. And as much as I enjoyed being in the library, being that bookie I was, thanks to that one bloke, me doing my advance study just seemed impossible to do now. He was distracting me enough, it was hard to concentrate!
Sighing, I peek up, watching the outskirts from the window, noticing that winter's drawing near. I smile at the thought before reclusively returning to my notes. My studies were my topmost priority for now before I could think of my holidays.
Even as I found myself busied with my work, I feel those pair of eyes watching at my every move, as if observing me like a specimen. Awkwardly, I have the feeling that he was not far.
Unknowingly, I had gripped my quill to hard that it was already at the near verge of snapping in two. I paused writing and took in a deep breathe. Seriously, this has been going on for a while now. Mentally counting to ten, I then returned back to my notes.
"Jo!" a pair of identical voices calls, causing me to flinch slightly.
I didn't have to look twice when, from the corner of my eye, I spotted two heads of dirty blond hair. Mentally, I praise them for their timing.
"Lorcan, Lysander, no yelling in the library remember?" I said without turning.
Of course, the twins reply with their ever doe-eyed expression of shock.
"Hmm?" they say in unison. I sigh, shaking my head.
Lorcan and Lysander Scamander ladies and gents, my dear best friends of reasons I cannot pertain as to how or why. I don't know. Like me, the twins are both Ravenclaw. But unlike me, they're just plain adorable in so many ways.
"But we've been looking all over for you!" Lorcan says to my left.
"We even thought you were gonna ditch class!" Lysander adds to my right.
Seriously, these twins…
"I left you guys a note after breakfast, remember?"
"Ah! But that was rude of you Jojo!" they both said, wrapping their arms over either side of my shoulder. Dang they were heavy.
Shoving their arms from my shoulders, I gave them a look. "Seriously, you guys are hopeless."
"Nuh-uh!" they banter childishly.
Sighing, I managed a small smile before closing the book shut. I had listed down the spells and potions that I would need for our next class. Taking the book in my hand, I turned to return it to its shelf with a swish of my wand whilst pocketing my notebook into my bag, I turned to them. Suddenly, the strange feeling was gone. Inwardly, I sigh in relief. I didn't let it show, especially in front of these two.
"We're going to have pie for dinner. Want a slice?" they say as soon as we exit the library, Lorcan to my left and Lysander to my right.
I look at them with a sceptical look, "Guys, dinner's like hours from now."
They just give me a light shrug while skipping happily on their steps. Really, these two are too adorable for their own good.
"We're just looking forward to it."
"You guys always look forward to pie." I mutter, causing them to laugh.
"It's heaven!" they say in unison before I laugh, I say no more.
Our conversation shifts to a light mood; in high regards of the weather, our classes, the sudden misfits of some of our classmates and all. All of which, have helped me ease up from the strange feeling I had from the library. Thank heavens for Scamander twins!
After a while, we part ways and I'm off walking under the hallways all alone. Sigh, finally, peace, quiet and solemnity. Having those twins around can be a bit of too much sometimes, it's a wonder how I ever kept up with them. Rather, it's a wonder they ever kept up with me! I wasn't anything special, in fact, I was pretty boring. But the twins have always proved me wrong at every turn, the blokes fancied me for who I am despite my condition. Truly, those two were my truest of friends.
Walking down the hallway, I whistled a tune under my breathe, hearing my sneakers squeak against the pavement. I take my beanie off despite the nearing winter season, freeing my messy short spiky hair. I sigh contentedly at the feel of the cool wind against my scalp.
Ah, this kind of season just makes me want to ditch class…
The idea was tempting. But then again, I promised Nana a good grade and conduct. Gah!
So instead of succumbing to the idea of ditching, I found myself hurriedly heading towards my next class. My body quickly shifted into a raven, leaving me to caw proudly and easily over the students before me towards my next class. It took me the whole summer to master my transfiguration. Nana always told me to keep my focus on, of which, I try in turn. I had a bit of a rebellious streak.
I momentarily laughed at the memory, we had started working on my condition after my first year in Hogwarts, it was then that I mastered basic transfiguration. Over the summer, I can turn into a cat like Nana. Over my second year, I could turn into a toad and a snake. During my third year, a dog and a dormouse. Over my fourth year, I had pestered my Nana to teach me how to turn into a bird, that lesson had been particularly the longest lesson ever. It practically consumed my entire fourth and fifth year until I eventually mastered it before summer had ended. And now, I'm perfectly capable of shifting to any winged creature. Well, I'm still under training, but Nana says I'll get there.
I snap out of my thoughts when I recognize the corridor to my next class, I slow down as I descend. But just as I was about to land however, some idiot 'accidentally' pulled the door open, causing me to roughly slam against the door.
I shifted back before I even landed on my feet. "Ow…" I groan, rubbing my nose. Thank god my nose didn't break, thank god I decided on a raven, thank god for beaks! But damn, that hurt!
Then, I hear series of chortle before me. I glare at the damnable green-eyed, scruffy brunette asshole.
"Potter…" I growled, and then, I slowly picked myself up from the ground.
He only gave me a cheeky smirk before he entered our class.
[Dinner time]
As predicted by the twins, pie was served. Pumpkin to be exact, their favourite.
My nose still hurt, but I was rubbing it less. Although, a light bruise was left. I had it covered with a Band-Aid as to lessen the worry of the twins. They were pretty much like my brothers, they sometimes overreact over the littlest injuries I get.
"Geez, it's as if you guys have never eaten pie in your lives…" I say boredly, watching them grovel on their plates, resting my face against my palm. This has been their…I dunno, 8th plate already? I've had only one plate, but them? They could probably go on forever. Oh well, boys will be boys.
"Shh…" Lorcan goes, licking his plate.
"We're having a serious commitment with this pastry." There goes Lysander.
I laugh, really, these two.
Then, a loud banter echoes throughout the dining hall. Even without lifting my head, I could tell it came from Griffyndor. Especially knowing that the leader of those loud catcalls was no other than the infamous - James Sirius Potter. Groan.
That guy seriously had trouble and mischief written all over him. He just loves to make a scene. I once heard from Nana that he was just like his grandfather, I second the motion to that. It was only by some miracle that he had adorable siblings like Albus and Lily who were the complete opposite to him. I should know, I'm friends with his cousin – Rose.
Giving my nose one last rub, I help myself to a plateful of pie, mirroring the smile etched on the twins' faces. And just like that, like what happened in the library, I had that darnest feeling again. Someone has been staring at me for the whole duration of dinner.
Well, I'll be honest hear, it's been going on since my second year in Hogwarts, since my condition had been found out.
It not only happens during dinner, but also in a few classes, or walking by the corridors, or even outside the school. I know it's a someone, but I just can't pinpoint who. Rather, I don't feel like knowing who's been giving me these darnest feelings since second year.
Whoever it is, I'm sorry to say that I am not, at the slightest bit, curious of who you are. But as much as you annoy me, once I know you, I won't have second thoughts biting your arse off.
So back to present.
"Jojo…" the twins call, waving their hands in front of me.
I must've been deep in thought, because the twins seem to have stared down on me for more than a minute. I gave them my ever pokerfaced expression.
"What?"
They point at me, or rather, at something in front of me – a paper crane. I just stared at it.
"How long as it been there?"
They shrug.
I continually stare at it.
"Don't you want to open it?" asks Lysander.
I just stare.
"Aren't you at least curious from the sender?" asks Lorcan.
Stare.
They glance at each other, and then at me, and then to the paper crane before me and then to me.
"Jojo?" they ask in unison.
"What?"
They say nothing, but their pointed stares say otherwise. I know them well enough to know what their trying to vocalize. Dang, these two are seriously a handful!
"Alright already!"
I grab the paper crane from the table and turn to open it; the twins lunge forward and peek at the paper. One sentence presents itself, but it was enough to cause my mind to haywire.
'I don't know why, but I can't take my eyes off you.'
…
…
"…what?"
Later on, the twins burst into fits of laughter. The volume of their laughter attracted a lot of attention towards us. Their laughter was louder than the catcalls and banters from Griffyndor.
"Err, sorry folks…these two have had too much pies I guess." Lame excuse, but who cares? They drifted away right after I explained. The twins just laughed their arses off. Sadly, I can't pick out my wand and cast a spell on them. Nana's watching, I sheepishly smile and shrug.
"Twins, stop it." I try. But to no avail, they just laughed harder. Damn friends.
A little while later, I feel something creeping up my hand. And when I look down, I find another paper crane. I peeked up from my seat, searching for who might've handed it to me.
But when I saw nothing, I just grabbed the paper animal and read the new note, careful to hide it from the twins.
'You should really smile more.'
This message I did not seem to get.
It did however, caused me to blush.
The next day, I skipped class. I dunno, I just felt like it.
Well, kidding, it's a weekend.
I always looked forward to weekends. It was the only days where the twins were handling their own lives and I with mine.
And what better way to spend it than to laze around? After all, I finished my home works the first thing after my last class. Took me all night to do it, but it was worth it. Now I have nothing to worry about!
I was the first to wake up, and the moment I did, I washed myself, changed my clothes – a striped grey long sleeved shirt, blue shorts, a red scarf and boots - and shifted into a dormouse and crawled out of the Ravenclaw dormitory as quietly as I can.
Once I was out though, I shifted then into a cat and climbed up the castle walls. I was quick on my feet; I knew that there were predators lurking around the school. And when I got to the roof, I shifted back to my human form and carelessly crossed the roof. I spent the next few hours just running along the rooftop while watching how Hogwarts awakened to a new day. This had always been a favourite habit of mine.
I found myself climbing up the roofs of the Ravenclaw dormitory just as the sun was about to rise. The best thing about us Ravenclaws? We have a spectacular view of the mountains.
I took a deep breath, watching the sun slowly rise up. It's a brand new day.
"Good morning Hogwarts."
When the sun was set up high, I adjusted the scarf around my neck and turned around, letting my body fall backwards with my arms spread.
The wind whistled against my ears, the cold air whipping violently against my body. And just as my body was to hit the ground, I had shifted myself into an owl.
I flew by the Whomping Willow, greeting it as it bowed to me in turn.
Flying past Hagrid's hut, I took sight of the fresh pumpkins on his patch. He looks up and sees me, waving happily as he does. I greet back in turn.
Flapping my wings, I found myself flying towards the lake, dropping one of my legs to feel the cool water against my talons. I could see the fishes swimming below me, unafraid to come near me knowing that I'm an Animagi.
Flying over the Quidditch field, I looped around the hoops. I laughed to myself, imagining that I was a Golden Snitch or a Bludger freely passing through.
I fly around Hogwarts a few times, doing the same routine I've been used to and I never fail to do since I was a first year.
I was proud being an Animagi. I loved being given the many opportunities to be free and soar (of course, I have my limits). I didn't care if students were scared of me or looked down on me, it was obvious that they were jealous of what I was free to do, what boundaries I could break with my condition.
For the rest of the morning, that was all I did, flying high in the sky.
I love flying.
It's by flying do I feel sound, secure and truly at peace. It's only by flying can I clear my mind of unwanted nonsense. And it's only by flying can I truly evade those darn eyes.
A few hours after breakfast, I've helped myself up to the highest branch of a tree I could find. Ah, the weekends. The perks of laziness it brings.
From my spot, I comfortably take out my sketchpad and sketch of anything I find fancy. And from this spot, I watch the younger years beneath me. I feel superior being this high.
While I'm sketching, I sway my legs against the branch. I feel a bit childlike.
My sketch of Hogwarts brings a smile to my face, perfect with absolutely no smudges at all. I had busied myself with this particular sketch for a while now. My early morning exercise gave me an insight on what I could work on. I smiled at my sketch, especially as it moved a little. Once I was contented with my work, I flipped the page. But as I did, I dropped my beanie in the process.
Clicking my tongue, I curse myself for the recklessness and plucked out my wand, casting a Wingardium Leviosa spell. I hummed a tune under my breathe patiently as I had expected for my beanie to come up, but to my surprise, lo and behold the last person I'd expect to see – James Sirius Potter.
Hazel eyes of mine widen slightly at the sight of him. In turn, his grudgingly green eyes pierce straight into mine.
"Potter…" I acknowledge, narrowing my eyes at him.
"R-Reyes…" he says in turn, a bit awkwardly.
We stayed like that, in a state of shock, me holding out my wand, keeping Potter levitating awkwardly before me with my beanie in hand.
…
Beanie?
…
Oh yeah.
With my free hand, I extend out an open palm. He stares at it incredulously.
"Give it here Potter."
Still staring at my open palm, he gives me a look. Oh don't you dare give me that look you!
Did I mention that he and I don't talk? That is the second time we've talked? Wanna know when the first time was? How bout we go down memory lane shall we?
Second year.
"James Sirius Potter, how am I not surprised?" I say with my arms crossed, staring at the culprit before me. He's responsible for spreading around about my condition of being an Animagi - correction, a unique Animagi.
Funny thing is, this is the first time he's ever said a word to me.
"Curious." He starts, running a hand over his unruly black hair. "You are a very curious girl."
I hate to admit it but, he's kinda good-looking. However, that's not that point of the matters at hand.
"Curious? Of me? That's weird." I say before turning on my heel, my waist length hair swishing in the process, not wanting to discuss any further.
Potter is quick on his feet; he grabs me by the arm. "Why is it weird?"
Narrowing my brows, I shook his arm off and took a step back. "Because, as far as I know, you're just like your grandfather – always the troublemaker, and as far as I'm concerned, you've been trying to get under my skin for the last 2 years. And for what reasons? Pray tell! That good enough for ya?" I was sure to emphasize my sarcasm per sentence.
Luckily, it seems to have an effect on him. Because now, he's a bit speechless. A total shocker actually, James Sirius Potter is speechless?
"What do you really want from me Potter?" I ask with my arms crossed.
And for once, I get a glimpse of a boy fidgeting in front of me. It must be a sight, James Sirius Potter fidgeting in front of a girl.
Planting my hands to my hips, I watch him curiously. "Well? Out with it! I don't have all day."
Potter mumbles something under his breathe that I don't catch. I raise my brow.
He looks up, and when he meets my stare, turns away. I think I caught the faintest of pink on his face.
"Potter?"
He scratches the back of his neck, tugging at his necktie awkwardly. "Err…Uh…"
I sigh.
Without another word or glance, I turned on my heel and sped to my next class.
"R-Reyes, wait!"
But before he was to catch me, I had already shifted into a feline and was quick on my fours.
"Reyes!"
Sheesh, doesn't he ever give up?
As I made a sharp turn, I could've sworn I saw him take out his wand. The fuck-
"Stupefy!"
Oh damn.
OH. DAMN.
OH.
HOT.
DAMN.
ARE YOU SERIOUS!?
And so I ran, ran for my dear feline formed life. With every heartbeat, I ran faster and faster. I even pushed myself to the limits just to get away from him! Why can't he leave me alone!?
He kept chasing me up until we left the castle grounds and was now heading for Hagrid's shack. I didn't know what possessed me to get out of the castle, but I assumed he would have stopped chasing me by now. But sadly, he didn't.
"Reyes, just…wait!"
Oh damn! LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE!
Just as I was to climb a tree, I felt a pair of calloused hands grabbing me from the ground. I gave out a maddening shriek.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here Potter?" says the one guy holding me, a senior from Hufflepuff.
Potter stops in front of us, three of his friends – all were a year or two older than us - appeared out of nowhere and surround him. I writhe from his grip, trying to set myself free.
"Let her go Hartley…" he says breathlessly, eyeing me.
Hartley looks surprised, and then turns to my feline form. Later, he cackles.
"So this is the infamous Animagi next to McGonagall?" he saunters, his friends soon laugh with him.
"That freak of a headmaster? That McGonagall?" one of his friends say, causing them to break into fits of laughter.
"She's a freak of nature she is."
I felt my blood boil. How dare they make a mockery of Nana like that? How dare they!
I stop writhing against Hartley and scratch him, making sure that I was to leave a mark. He screams in pain, but doesn't let me go. He only does after I've bitten him.
Falling to the ground, I slowly shift back to my human form, panting lightly with a deathly glare on my eyes.
"Y-You bitch!"
"I should say the same to you!" and then I slammed my fist against his cheek, he falls to the ground. Just as I was to launch myself at him, one of his friends grabs me from behind.
Shifting into a rat, I scurried into their pants and bit off every skin I could get my teeth on. All while he was trying to get me off him.
"Get her off! Get her off! Get her off!" he says.
One of his friends managed to grab me from my tail, making me dangle awkwardly. I managed to bite his arm before falling to the ground, the impact was painful. Just as I was about to move, I was kicked hurdling my body against a tree. My body slowly shifted back to my human form, my whole body aching in pain.
"Reyes!" I hear Potter call, his footsteps running towards me. But two goons hold him off. "Hey, let me go! Let me go damn it!"
Hartley walks up to me, grabbing me by the hair that I scream.
"Not so tough now are you?"
Tears form from the corners of my eyes, I can't help but feel helpless. I can't shift into any animal, my body feels tired and used. I'm still learning under Nana!
"Let her go Hartley, damn it! Let her go!"
"Don't worry Potter, we got her." One of Hartley's friends say before punching him in the stomach. I whimper.
"Yeah, what's the big deal?" another of his friends say, watching me with lecherous eyes.
"I gotta admit, she's got a pretty face." Adds another before locking Potter into a headlock, I watch as they helplessly beat him.
"N-No…l-leave him alone…" I whimper.
Hartley clicks his tongue, picking me from the ground and his face close to mine. "Poor, poor little Animagi…"
I don't flinch at this, but clearly, I'm shocked.
"Let her go…damn it…" Potter says weakly. It's too much that it makes me cry. He picks his wand and casts a spell towards us, fortunately, Hartley deflects it to my direction, slicing a great portion of my hair.
Patches of my hair fall to the grass, I feel Potter's anger raging at this.
"YOU BASTARD! YOU SLIMEY BASTARD!"
Hartley throws me to a friend of his like a sack of potatoes, I watch as he walks towards Potter.
"Finders keepers Potter my boy," he says, pinching his swollen cheek "losers weepers."
"L-Let her go…"
"And why should I Potter?"
I shook from my spot, fear consuming over my system. It was a wonder how I managed to look up to Potter, for some reason, I felt guilty we were in this mess.
Looking up at him, I was taken back at how gentle his eyes were. It was as if he was apologizing without vocalizing it.
"Why should I release a bloody beast like her? Don't you know the terrors she could bring to the school?"
Tears just streamed down my cheeks, his words hurt. I had never felt so much fear and hatred in a single sentence my whole life. His words were like a dagger, stabbing me continuously.
"Wrong."
My systems fell shut from that one word that escaped his mouth, one word that made me look up.
"You're wrong about her. She's not a beast, she never was. She's anything but that." I stopped breathing as he spoke. "You're just letting the fear get to your head, causing you to be blinded of what she really is. She's a beautiful creature, she's her."
Never have I ever been told those words in my whole life. And coming from Potter's mouth? Wow.
After that whole speech, we were all shocked to find a spell casted to push Hartley's goons away from Potter.
I swear to Rowena, I was glad that that Weasely girl was quick on her feet to report the whole thing and bring with her a few professors.
I practically cried the whole time, that little incident left me traumatized. And on that onwards, I had started to avoid James Sirius Potter. Rose, I managed well, we were sort of friends. But never with Potter, at least not with James.
The next day, Nana came to visit me at the Hospital Wing. I have never seen her this worried before. The seniors who bullied us were given a tedious punishment for three straight weeks.
"Goodness gracious child, what happened to your hair!?" Nana practically screeches, running her hands over me to check for any other serious injuries. We were at the hallway, empty for some damn reason.
"Oh, uh…I…" Beside me, Potter, who is about to be discharged, stops and listens. He looks at me, an unspoken conviction being passed on. "…err…" But then, he saved me. He risked his bone for me, I owe him.
"I accidentally used a spell on me!" he looks shocked at my little white lie "Yeah, that's what happened to me Nana!"
She doesn't looked convinced, I hid my crossed fingers. "Are you sure?"
Nodding, I absentmindedly ran a hand over my now short hair.
"Positive Nana." And for a millisecond, I turned back to Potter and wink at him. He's quick to scurry away.
Thankfully, Nana doesn't notice. Instead, she sighs and kneels down before me, running a hand over my short hair as well. "Such a shame deary, I liked your long hair."
So did I.
"Nah, it's kind of breezy as it is Nana. I like it!"
And since then, I decided to keep my hair that way.
END OF FLASHBACK.
So anyways, back to present.
Instead of handing me my beanie, he reaches out to my hand and just like that, he's sitting beside me. I drop my wand and turn to him.
Awkward silence settles between us.
Turning to him, I watch him warily.
"Here…" he says, handing out my beanie to me.
I take it off his hands and put it on my head, and then I turn to look at him.
"What brings you here Potter?"
He looks as if he's hesitating to look my way. I searched for his eyes, but to no avail.
"U-Uh…"
"Come on, out with it!"
He swallows, scratching his cheek nervously.
"H-How are you?"
…
I stare, lips formed into a tight line.
…
"Who paid you to talk to me?"
"Rose- wait, no!"
But I was already packing my things right after he said a name. Damn Potter.
He grabs hold of my wrist, bringing me to him. And because of his suddenness, he spun me with such force that our faces were nearly inches from each other. We stare with shocked eyes.
I was the first to break away, a reasonable distance between us.
"S-Sorry…" I hear him say, shifting on his side.
"Why are you really here?" I ask, avoiding his eyes.
He doesn't answer immediately. Instead, he takes my sketchpad and goes over my drawings, some are moving, some are not. I see the fascination in his eyes as he flips each page.
"You're a good artist." He remarks, running a hand over my sketch of Hogwarts.
"Don't change the topic." I say, grabbing my sketchpad from his hands. "B-But thanks anyways…"
"You're welcome." I nod, giving him time to continue. He takes a deep breathe, green eyes slowly meeting mine. "Though I'm 3 years late, I just wanted to say…I'm sorry."
"For what?" I ask stupidly, though I already know what he's apologizing about, I just wanted to play dumb and hear it straight from his mouth.
Taking another deep breathe, he turns away and plays with his feet. "F-For what happened when we were second year, for spreading over your condition, for failing to protect you and for your…erhm, hair."
I laughed a little at the last part. He turns up to me. I see the sincerity in his eyes, he really looks so sincere and guilty of what happened. He looks so much different from the pestering Potter I knew, the one who opened the door on me when I was still in raven form.
Sighing, I lean over to run my lithe fingers over his dark hair, screwing it a little. I gave him the warmest smile I could manage.
"Idiot, I've long forgiven you."
Since then, I and Potter have become less than friends. He picks on me much to my irritation, doubling my stress over the twins. Shockingly, the twins don't mind. Instead, they even join Potter! GAH!
My only ally I can turn to is Rose, thank god for her fiery attitude. Like Nana once said, I'm glad she inherited most of her genes from her mother. Some days, I'm with Lily, she's been like the little sister I never had. And then there's Roxanne, she's amazing really, almost like Rose but in a more mature way. I think Lysander likes her.
I've made a fair amount of friends from Griffyndor thanks to Potter and Rose, all of which have accepted my Animagi condition. Sometimes, I'd join them during meal times. But mostly, I'm with either Rose, Lily or Roxanne.
So here we are - I and Rose, studying for our Ancient Runes and Alchemy class (our favourite subjects) when that feeling turns on to me again. I could practically feel it boring against my skull.
"Err, Rose?" I whisper, keeping my head low.
The redhead pipes up instantaneously form her book. "Hmm?"
"Don't you get the strangest feeling of being watched?"
"Watched? By whom?"
I shrug, shifting against my seat "I dunno, someone?"
Tilting her head to the side, Rose takes in the words I've said with a quizzical look. After a while, she smiles, an all-too knowing smile.
I conclude that I don't like that smile, it's not smug, but it's every bit of mischievous. She knows something I don't.
"It's all in your head Johanna, don't worry."
"Erm, okay…" I stand, causing my seat to creek. I mumble an apology to the librarian. "I'll just head to the lavatory Rose. I'll be right back."
"Okay." And then she returns to her book.
As I leave, I can still feel those eyes staring down on me. But when I reached the lavatory, I quickly sighed in relief. Gah, it must be a guy.
"Ah, get a hold of yourself Jo!" I scolded myself, turning to see my reflection in the mirror.
It can't possibly be a guy, can it? I mean, what's there to like in me?
Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I figured that I looked plain. My hair was at its usual shade of jet black – all spiky and messy that framed my face well, a pair or round hazel eyes, flat nose, full lips and a mole located under my right eye. I was dressed in my uniform save for my Ravenclaw robe. So I went over my appearance again, I just look like my plain old self.
I stopped, wait, since when was I this conscious with my appearance?
"Damn it Johanna Reyes!" I reprimanded myself, slapping my cheeks with both hands. I shook my head.
"No, no, this must be stress getting over me. Yeah that's it, stress. Stress with a capital S-T-R-E-S-S." I assured myself.
Smiling at my reflection one last time, I repeated the mantra in my head.
Stress, nothing but stress getting to you Jo. Nothing more, nothing less.
I smiled in my head, repeating the mantra even as I entered the library. When I turned to our table, I had expected Rose, but when I sat on my seat, sitting right across me was Potter. He looks occupied with a book about herbs, he fails miserably in Herbology and Potions. But as far as I know him, he isn't one to result to the library to repair a grade, he has his ways. That or because he has Rose to turn to.
"Potter?" I say in disbelief.
He looks up, seemingly surprised. Note, seemingly.
"Oh, Jo? I didn't know you were here!"
My brows furrow together. "I'm always here Potter. Remember, I'm one of the top students?" I say smugly.
He rolls his eyes at me playfully, muttering a "show-off" under his breathe. Of which, I return with a grin.
"By the way, have you seen Rose?"
Potter shifts uncomfortably to the sound of his cousin's name. He avoids my look and merely shakes his head.
"Was she here the moment you came in?"
Again, he shook his head at me.
Throwing a raspberry, I peek at our table for any paper Rose might've left. She's usually not one to leave without a note. But to my avail, nothing.
Dropping the subject, I turned to my book and start memorizing formulas in my head. As I'm occupied with studying, I don't notice Potter's stare. I'm too focused to ace Alchemy class.
Imagine to my surprise when out of nowhere, Potter's fingers are brushing against the tips of my hair. I nearly yelped in surprised.
"You kept your hair short." He said in a warm tone.
And for the first time in my life, I felt my cheeks burn.
"A-Ah, well…I like it short, keeps my hair out of the way."
He hums, tangling his fingers against my hair. "I missed it long."
Slowly, Alchemy slips out of my head replacing it with Potter before me. "So did I."
"But, I like it this way. Frames your face perfectly…" his hand drops near my hand. The brush of our skin causes me to suck in air. I stare at our hands, watching it curiously.
And then, his pinky finger gently brushes against mine. His finger gliding against mine like a worm until he grabs hold of my pinky, dragging it slowly towards the center of the table. Surprisingly, I don't flinch. Instead, I watch. And before I know it, my pinky encloses with his.
Very carefully, our fingers draw near. And in an achingly slow pace, our fingers intertwine. It came as a shock to me how Potter's hands can be so rough yet at the same time so soft, so warm.
A gentle smile I was never aware of crosses his face as he looks at our intertwined fingers. The expression was almost at a certain point, of innocence.
Though I was momentarily puzzled, I found myself staring into the depths of his green eyes, losing myself into them. I've always wondered how it is possible for someone like him to have such gorgeous pairs of eyes.
And at one point, which I looked into them, I got that same feeling again. The feeling of being watched, stared at even.
I didn't have to crane my neck to check, because I knew the moment that I spotted him, he was the one.
The one who's been staring at me from everywhere I go.
The one who sent me that note during dinner that caused the twins to laugh like crazy.
I should've known from the very moment he talked to me.
I should have known all along that it was him – James Sirius Potter.
With this realization, I found myself letting him go. He looked up at me in shock, as if he knew what I knew.
I hurriedly picked up my things and practically ran out the library, Potter was hot on my heels.
"Jo, wait!" he called through the hallways, I only walked faster.
"Jo, hold on!"
Walk faster, walk faster, walk faster!
"Johanna Reyes!"
I could hear his footsteps sound behind me.
But just as he was about to touch me, I had shifted myself into a raven and flew away from him.
One minute, I was down the hallway with Potter. The next, I found myself at Black Lake, landing clumsily to the shore. Shakily picking myself up, I find that my things have scattered to the ground. I turn to pick them, putting them in my bag as I crawled on my fours.
My sketchpad had been the farthest of all my things, I was about to pick it up from the ground when I remembered something. Plucking it from the ground, I carefully flipped it to a certain page.
I found it hard to ignore of the sketch I have of Potter, a sketch I had made not so long ago. It was dated back when we first talked. To when he said those words.
"Damn…"
I surrendered myself, falling against my hands.
Who am I kidding?
The feeling was mutual after all.
I had been in love with James Sirius Potter since.
But since then?
I've been a coward of this foreign feeling.
I've been scared to face it, to experience it like anyone else.
I chose to blame it on my Animagi condition that no one, not even him, would accept me. But then, that day happened. That day changed everything.
"I'm sorry…" I whispered to no one. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"
Three weeks later…
"Jojo!" greets the twins as we made our way towards the dining hall.
The smell of dinner that wafted along my nose became less appetizing than I had seemed. As we entered the double doors, I tried my hardest to avoid glancing towards the Griffyndor table.
It's been three weeks since.
I haven't spoken a word to Potter.
I found out from Rose and the twins that it had been his plan, to leave me and him in the library. I had forgiven her for that, and in a cowardly act, I had asked her to apologize to Potter for me. I couldn't bring myself to talk to him, not after everything.
At first, it had been hard to avoid him; after all, we shared Alchemy, Ancient Runes and Herbology together.
Every time he tried to approach me, I was quick to turn away or shift as a means of escape. I even took different routes just so I wouldn't pass by him down the halls.
Call me a coward, but I just couldn't see him.
The guilt was eating me, but my fear was holding me back.
"Johanna," Sasha, a friend of mine and Lorcan's date to the Yule ball calls. "are you alright?"
"Huh?"
Lysander taps my shoulder and I jump from his suddenness.
"L-Lysander, don't scare me like that!"
He looks crossed, huffing childishly.
"I've been beside you the whole time Jo!"
I faked a laugh. "Sorry Lysander…"
He looked sceptical, but nonetheless, accepted my apology.
As dinner went on, I poked on my foot boredly, pretending to be ignorant to Potter's stare. Even when he was tables away, I could still feel his stare. Mentally, I groan.
Please stop making me suffer than I already am.
The twins are joyously talking about Yule Ball – Lysander's going with Roxanne by the way – and I can't help but feel happy for them. Happy, yet at the same time jealous.
Urgh, enough of these teenage hormones!
Burying my head into my hands, I was unaware of the sound of flapping paper until it descended gracefully below me. As if it was intentionally kept to be hidden.
I looked at it, feeling a twinge of guilt.
Should I or should I not?
Sighing, I carefully plucked the paper and read the note under the table, away from watchful eyes.
I sighed for what seemed to be the umpteenth time, scraping my shoes against the stone floor. I rubbed my elbows, emanating friction from my clothes.
Seriously, of all places, why the Astronomy tower?
I rubbed my elbows, reprimanding myself for forgetting my robe. I seem to wear it only during fall or winter, never on warm days. I like the warmth seeping through my clothes. Plus, those robes are scorching hot to wear on a summer!
I gaze up to the night sky, watching the millions of stars twinkling high above me. Suddenly, I begin to remember my parents. It saddens me to remember them, but just by seeing the stars, I somehow feel assured. After all, when someone dies, they become the stars at night who watches over us right?
All thoughts drown when I felt something brush against my shoulders. When I turned, I find Potter draping his robe over me. He looks so gentle, the look he's giving me seems so meaningful.
My cheeks burn and immediately I turn away.
"T-Thank you…" I mumble.
He says nothing, nodding instead.
With my head hung low, I wonder to myself how in the world did I arrive to this situation. Since when was I this awkward? Especially around Potter? Most especially around Potter?
I gulp, tightening his robe around me. I could faintly smell his scent – vanilla, it was relaxing to my nerves. I managed a smile.
Silence brewed in, unsettling between us.
I could still feel his stare, it was killing me. I bit my lip, staring at the cold ground, suddenly finding them interesting.
It took a while before any of us said a word.
"Johanna…" Potter started. The way he said my name, why did it sound so longing? Why did it sound so right?
I closed my eyes, savouring the scent of his robe and the warmth that is his.
"Since when?" I asked.
Potter took a shaky breathe, I could tell. Slowly, I could make out his footsteps slowly walking towards me.
"Since always."
Snapping my eyes open, I was surprised to find him only inches away from me. Only this time, I did not turn away. We just stared, though it was evident that our cheeks were flushing.
"W-What does that mean?"
My back gently pressed against the wall without my knowledge, his strong arms slowly wrapping themselves around me. His hold on me, it was as almost…possessive.
"You know what it means." He said, almost huskily.
Our proximity, dear lord, it was enough to weaken my knees. Unknowingly, I found myself holding unto his arms. Gently, our noses brushed against each other.
"Since always?" I whispered.
"Hmm…" he hummed.
Just as I was about to ask what he had meant specifically, his lips collided with mine. It was a gentle kiss, a kiss that was enough to turn me to mush.
As we kissed, my arms had wounded itself around his neck, drawing him closer.
We parted away, breathless and dazed.
Then, Potter embraced me, burying his head into my neck while his arms tightened themselves around me.
I felt like I could cry at this very moment, at this moment that seemed all too perfect.
"You don't have to say anything." he mumbled, pressing his lips against my throat. "You don't have to-"
"I'm in love with you." I confess. I break away from his hold to look at him at the eye, seeing the seriousness in his eyes. "I'm in love with you." I repeat, leaning up to give him a gentle kiss.
A gentle kiss that soon ended up into a passionate one, he smiled against my lips. I could tell, he was just as happy as I was.
When we parted, he rested his forehead against mine, looking at me with loving eyes.
"Will you my date to the Yule Ball?"
Obviously, you guys know my answer to that.
I smiled, holding him tight with a whispered, "Yes."
Again, I'm sorry for something incredibly random. Please bear with me, I'm suffering immensely from writer's block that it's killing me T_T And like I said, please be the better judge of me.
ANYWAYS, Don't forget to read Broken Open! It's not mine, but it's hella awesome. Penny for your thoughts? I accept criticisms, I need it, srsly. toodles~