Author's Note
It's here! It's here! It's finally here! The third season of the 'Total Shuffled' series has finally arrived, and I sure am excited about it. Please note, though, that THIS IS THE DIRECT SEQUEL TO 'TOTAL SHUFFLED ACTION', AND THEREFORE 'TOTAL SHUFFLED ISLAND'. PLEASE READ THEM FIRST IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY! As with last season, from here on out I'm going to assume that everyone reading this story is familiar with the series as a whole.
I've got a lot of interesting plot ideas going in to this season, and I sincerely hope I'll be able to implement all of them. It'll still be World Tour of course, but expect plenty of differences from canon - even the order of destinations and the pattern of rewards and eliminations have been changed (if only slightly, and mostly in the first half of the season). And if I'm being honest, there's a definite chance that I'll change even more down the line as my plans for the end-game change.
Right now, though, I'd like to remind everyone that a TVTropes page for this series exists, and is in need of love. You can find a link to it in the FanWorks subpage of the Total Drama page.
As long-time readers know by now, this is normally where I'd take the time to answer reviews...but since there aren't any yet, I'll just be posting the usual reminder of the current cast.
Girls - Bridgette, Dawn, Ella, Sammy, Scarlett, Sierra, Staci, Sugar
Boys - Alejandro, Beardo, DJ, Ezekiel, Geoff, Lightning, Scott, Shawn, Tyler
The pairings will continue naturally from what has already been established, though with two new characters there is always the possibility for more pairings to crop up.
Likewise, the update schedule will be the same as last season - you can expect a new chapter every Friday afternoon (EST).
This is the end of the main 'Total Shuffled' trilogy, so expect a lot of stuff to get wrapped up on this wild ride around the world. I truly, truly hope you all enjoy the show.
- Fangren
Episode One – Walk Like An Egyptian, Part One
"Season three of Total Drama, folks!" Chris McLean opened excitedly, briefly raising three fingers as a drumline opened a grand musical score. Judging by the building and airplane stationed far behind him, the ever-handsome host was standing in the middle of an airport and the sky above was a beautiful blue. "The world is gonna be mine, sea to shining sea!" He slid an open palm through the air in front of him, then turned to the side as a sputtering engine was heard off-screen.
"Sadly," he said as the shot zoomed out as a bus pulled up along the road behind him, "I'm forced to share my world with a three-ring traveling teen freak show." The bus door opened, and the camera cut back to Chris' close-up. "They'll be competing all around the globe for another million dollars," he announced as the familiar cymbals of the show's classic theme started to play. "So, let's meet our players!" The camera cut back to the front of the bus as the cast began to walk by.
"Lightning!" The Athletic Overachiever came out first, grinning at the camera and flexing his arms and wearing a blue backpack in addition to his usual clothes. "Alejandro!" The Arch Villain was next, waving at the camera and wearing a pack that was identical to Lightning's; the sun gleamed off his charming pure-white smile as he passed. "Scarlett!" Third was The Evil Genius, who had opted to go without her glasses, in addition to wearing her hair in a long and bushy ponytail. She still had a thick metal collar around her neck, and she was giving the camera bemused look as she walked past. Her hands were on the straps of her backpack, the same style as those before her but red in color. "Shawn!" The Zombie Conspiracy Nut's hair had grown even more since he'd last been seen, and was now about the same length as it had been in season one. He too wore a blue backpack, and was smiling nervously as he waved at the camera. "Sierra!" Fifth was The Bridge To The Fans, the tall girl wearing a sly smile as she walked past and winked at the camera. Like Scarlett, her bag was red.
The camera cut back to Alejandro and Scarlett as the charmer suddenly stopped, causing the brainiac to bump into him.
"Oh, I'm sorry," he said with a dark smile, "I had forgotten about the criminal element in this season's cast."
"If you'd like to make an enemy of me," Scarlett replied sharply, "I'd be happy to oblige."
"You gonna oblige sha-Lightning too?" the uber-jock interrupted as the camera pulled back to include him in the shot. "'Cause he's the man to beat."
The camera panned over to Shawn as he sighed. "Well that didn't take long..."
"Beardo!" Chris announced from next to the bus door, his arms out as The Human Soundboard walked out to the self-made sound of trumpet fanfare.
"Samey, DJ, aaaand, Dawn!" The host continued smiling as The Cheerleader stepped out with her red pack and waved at the camera before frowning at Chris.
"Umm, you do know it's Sammy, right?" she asked.
"Sorry, but the official list says Samey," Chris told her. "So that's officially your name."
Sammy sighed in annoyance and walked away, getting replaced in the doorway by The Brickhouse With Heart's giant frame. "Can't you just give her a break on that, man?" DJ asked the host, who shook his head and frowned. The gentle giant frowned right back, shaking his head as he walked away with the same blue backpack on his back.
"I know you're only using that name to annoy her," came the voice of The Moonchild as she stepped down the stairs and glared at Chris, her red pack looking almost comically large on her. "It's quite clear in your aura." The host just shrugged.
"And it's quite clear in my aura that you need to move!" came the snide and nasally voice of The Devious as he forced Dawn out of the way and stepped out of the bus himself.
"And, returning favorites," Chris said, "Scott! Sugar!" As the farmer walked off, The Pageant Queen stepped out with a wide grin and blew the camera a kiss with both hands. "Aaaannd...," the host continued as the camera's focus moved solely onto him.
"Hey, did you guys know that runways were invented by my great-great Aunt's second husband James?" the familiar and annoying voice of The Compulsive Liar prattled, earning a frown from Chris before the camera cut to Staci looking around after having stepped off the bus. "Before him, airplanes had to land on city streets, yah."
"Actually, I'm pretty sure they landed on grass at first, eh," The Homeschooler said as he started walking down the stairs. "At least, that's what my history books-!" With his eyes closed and a finger in the air, Ezekiel wasn't looking where he was going and promptly tripped on Staci.
"Yup!" Chris told the camera. "Ezekiel's back! Also returning this season, Geoff," The Funnest Guy Around stepped out with a grin on his face and tipped his hat at the camera, "and his girlfriend, Bridgette." Geoff turned back and took The Surfer Girl's hand; they shared a kiss, but then Bridgette tried to take a step forward and tripped, adding both blondes to the pile of bodies outside the bus.
"Like, I think you forgot to introduce me!" Staci spoke up from the bottom of the pile.
Chris sighed. "And Staci...," he finally said. "And now to mix things up and keep it all fresh," he grinned, "we're adding two new competitors! He's jock-of-all-sports with a famous sportscaster dad and a competitive enthusiasm that outclasses his athletic ability, Tyler!"
The camera cut to The Jock as he stepped into the bus doorway with an excited grin, a radical guitar riff playing in the background. "Aww man," he exclaimed, "this awesome! I'm gonna take this season to the extreme! Yeahhahah!" He was shown tripping over his own shoelaces in close-up as he tried to get off the bus, and fell onto the other five just as Bridgette and Geoff were trying to get up. "Oh, whoops, sorry..." Tyler said, his headband askew.
"'S no problemo, dude," Geoff said as he pulled himself out of the pile and stood up. "These things happen." He helped Tyler up, then Bridgette.
"Yeah," Bridgette added as she dusted herself off. "Nice to have you here."
"Except for the falling part, eh," Ezekiel said.
"Yah," Staci nodded.
The scene cut back to Chris as a lighter and more reverent piece began to play. "And she's a music-lover that acts like she came straight out of a fairytale, Ella!"
The Fairytale Princess leapt from the bus with a flourish as an elegant song began to play. "The airport at last," she sang, lingering near the five who'd gotten off just before her, "oh we sure got here fast, and I'm honestly very excited!" She smiled, and Tyler did as well before she spun along. "The old and the new," the shot pulled back to show the full cast as she motioned first to her left at the others, then at herself, "oh the journeys we'll do..." The sudden sound of a squeaky wheel and spluttering engine caused her to pause for a second and turn around, then excitedly point. "And oh look! Our ride has been sighted!"
First the grungy and patched-together triple-wheeled undercarriage landing gear. Next, the engines on the right wing, the one with a bird nest in front giving off a short burst of smoke. Then a closer shot of the top half of the plane as it passed the camera, Chef Hatchet visible through the cockpit window wearing a pilot's uniform. And lastly the Chris McLean logo on the side of the jet as the wheels screeched below.
"Sha-whaaaat?" Lightning said, tilting his head up as the jet approached.
Chris himself was shown standing proudly as the massive thing finally rolled to a halt behind him, and several bolts fell down to the pavement with noticeable plinks. The camera zoomed out to show just how large it was next to the cast.
"Excuse me," Alejandro spoke up, "but I'm having concerns about whether or not our plane is safe."
"Relax!" Chris told him. "It's perfectly safe!"
Naturally it was then that a panel on the side of the plane fell off, a rat and a raccoon clinging to the piece of metal as it clattered to the ground then running off. "Now boarding!" Chris declared.
"Umm, question," Shawn raised a finger. "Have you checked that thing for zombies? Because once we're in the air we'll basically be trapped, making it super important to clear an infestation beforehand."
Chris groaned in annoyance. "There's no zombies, Shawn. Does anyone else have any objections?"
Scarlett immediately raised her hand. "I've already noted 137 obvious mechanical flaws," she told the host with a small smirk, "but I'd be happy to fix them for you."
"Yeah, not after what happened last season," Chris told her with a scowl. He took out a small remote control from his shirt pocket and pressed the button. "So don't get any thoughts." Scarlett immediately got shocked by the metal collar around her neck, and the camera cut away to Bridgette, Geoff, and Beardo wincing.
"As I was saying," the host said, putting away the remote and smiling as the camera cut back to him. "Now boarding! On a voyage to a million big ones!" He turned and pointed directly at the camera. "We're saving you a first class seat for all the action. Right here," he spread his arms wide, "on Total!" The shot pulled back to show Scarlett on the ground next to him, smoking and twitching slightly. "Drama!" Another pull back showed Bridgette, Geoff, Beardo, and Shawn standing nearby. "Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" He sang the last two words and a grand little jingle played as the camera zoomed out to show the full cast as well as the jumbo jet.
"Seriously?" Lightning asked in disbelief.
xxx
(Fade to Opening Theme)
[The sequence opens with a tilted shot of a stagelight swinging up and turning on in front of an airport control tower, followed by another light popping out of an overhead compartment along with a pair of oxygen masks; then a camera forcibly ejecting a raccoon from a wing engine and another camera bursting out of a suitcase, sending undergarments flying. A pair of white-skinned arms clap a film slate in front of the camera, which then flies down the aisle of first class seats. It passes a drink cart, then forces Chris McLean to jump to the side as the camera flies into the cockpit.]
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doin' fine;
[Chef Hatchet is piloting the plane in its cockpit, bobbleheads of himself and the host sitting on the control panel. For a single frame he turns his head and glares at the camera before it passes through the windshield and out onto the runway, the silhouette of the CN Tower visible in the distance as the camera flies over and through several baggage tugs.]
You guys are on my mind!
[Fading through the whiteness of a baggage cart, the camera emerges close to the CN Tower. The camera flies up along it, the sun shining bright at its peak. The scene arcs downward towards a lake, and speeds forward into it with a splash.]
Ya asked me what I wanted to be,
[The bubbles from the splash fade to show Shawn floating underwater in his bathing suit, trying to pull a gold chain out from under a rock. The chain breaks and he tumbles backwards, and the camera pans up to the surface.]
And now I think the answer is plain to see!
[On the roof of the cabin of a boat woven from reeds, Lightning flexes his arms and waggles his eyebrows at the camera. A seagull promptly lands on his head and he swats it off, but not before it goes to the bathroom on him.]
I wanna be...famous!
[The camera pans down and to the right to where DJ and Sammy are frantically paddling the boat as crocodiles leap out of the water on either side and snap their jaws. The boat leaves the screen, and on 'be' one of the reptiles winces; the camera moves back to the boat, revealing that it had crashed into an inflatable raft which Dawn was meditating on. The raft begins to sank, and while Dawn remains in lotus position DJ and Sammy each grab one of her hands and try to pull her on board their boat.]
I wanna live close to the sun!
[The camera flashes to the Statue of Liberty, immediately cutting to the top of its head as Scarlett and Alejandro climb up from the side, then have a one-handed slapfight with one another.]
Well pack your bags, 'cause I've already won!
[The feuding pair stop with shock on their faces as Tyler suddenly runs past, pushing Ezekiel in a baby carriage. The homeschooler's eyes widen in alarm as the jock blindly pushes the carriage straight into Staci, who had gotten down on all fours in their path. The carriage flips over, leaving Ezekiel on the statue's head and flinging Tyler forward. He hits a warning sign with enough force to bend it, then continues on past the statue entirely.]
Everythin' to prove,
[The camera quick-pans to Ella singing happily in a frozen setting. Tyler splashes down into a half-frozen body of water behind her, scattering the white-furred seals that had been listening to the girl sing.]
Nothin' in my way;
I'll get there one day.
[Another pan to the right shows Sugar watching with her hands on her hips, disapproval and annoyance on her face. She begins to sing as well, only for a furry paw to quickly tap her on the shoulder. The camera pans to a polar bear glaring at the pageant queen, who promptly runs away. On the bear's other side, Scott begins to laugh...]
'Cause I wanna be...famous!
[...the polar bear then turns to glare at Scott instead, even roaring at the boy and chasing him off. The camera zooms in on the glacial background, and flashes over to Geoff and Bridgette surfing a rather large wave. The girl waves at the camera while the boy tips his hat, then the two move closer for a kiss...and crash, sending both into the water.]
(Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[Beardo and Sierra were next, taking over-exaggerated steps along a certain British crosswalk as the Total Drama Jumbo Jet suddenly flew down the road, forcing both teens to duck in terror as the plane blew cars and trees past them. The scene changes again, now showing the entire cast in a human pyramid on top of the jet wearing parachute packs and kicking their legs to the beat. On bottom are Ezekiel, Scott, Geoff, Staci, Tyler, and Lightning. The second row consists of DJ, Beardo, Sierra, Bridgette, and Shawn. The third row is Scarlett, Alejandro, Sugar, and Ella; while on top are Sammy and Dawn.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[The jet flies right past Big Ben, causing one face of its clock to spring off; the jet flies over the Arc de Triomphe in Paris, startling a very French mime into dropping a croissant; the jet flies past a rock balancing on a stone pillar, causing the rock to fall off and land in front of the camera with a cloud of dust.]
I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)
[The dust clears to show Sammy and Dawn in close-up on top of the human pyramid, smiling at one another. The camera then pans down to Scarlett and Alejandro as they glare fiercely at each other, then down again to Geoff and Bridgette looking at each other longingly from different rows.]
[The lyrics end as the scene cuts to Chef Hatchet in the cockpit, looking above him with a scowl on his face. A guitar is strummed as the hulking pilot looks forward and turns the plane sharply to the left, and the last few whistling notes play as, back outside, the cast falls through the open air. Most soon deploy their parachutes and float down safely, the camera panning down as Tyler and Ella arrive to show the majority of the cast lined up and smiling at the camera. The clumsy jock flops down on the far left end; to the right are Alejandro, Beardo, Lightning, Bridgette and Geoff, Dawn and Sammy, Scarlett, Scott, and Ella. DJ is sitting on his butt in front of Sammy and Dawn, the two girls putting their hands on his shoulders to comfort him. Sugar was posing on her side in front Beardo and Lightning, and Ezekiel had landed on his butt next to her in front of Alejandro. The jet speeds in for a landing behind them as the song ends, the logo for 'Total Drama World Tour' on its side. Only then does Staci finally land flat on her face in the middle of the group, causing everybody to avert their eyes from the camera and look down at her with surprise.]
(Fade to Episode)
xxx
The scene faded back in to Chris leading the cast into what looked like an eating area. "Are we really gonna be singing?" Sammy wondered aloud. "I thought that was, like, a joke."
"Well I think it's wonderful!" Ella said cheerily.
"Duh, you actually like singing," Scott said sharply.
"Well Lightning don't!" the uber-jock interjected. "Singin' ain't a sport. Singin' ain't even sha-physical!"
"Long as I can beatbox I'm cool with it," Beardo added.
"Sha-good for you!" Lightning shot at the other boy. "Lightning still ain't gonna sing!"
"Is there any point is asking why you've decided to do this?" Scarlett asked in a deadpan tone, still looking slightly singed.
"Singing reality shows are huge," Chris explained. "And! The worse the singing, the higher the ratings! Which is why on this show," the camera began to pan across the mostly-nervous faces of the cast, "there will be no vocal coaches, or rehearsals, or warning!" The cast immediately began to complain.
"Anywho," the host continued over the annoyed murmur, "this is the dining area, where you'll enjoy in-flight meals!" He motioned to one of the tables behind him, the seats of which seemed to be a combination of crates and trash cans.
"Did you know it was my cousin four times removed Phyllis who invented in-flight meals?" Staci immediately asked, standing at the front of the group with Sammy and Lightning. "Yah, before her people had to bring their own food on long flights."
"Umm," Sammy spoke up hesitantly, noticing the glares the other girl was getting, "you do realize that this is why we voted you out first last time, right?"
Staci looked at her and blinked. "Oh, yah, but ever since then I've been researching my family's techniques so that it wouldn't happen again. I'm, like, totally not gonna lose this time thanks to what I learned."
"Did that include how to shut up?" Chris asked in extreme annoyance, and Staci looked taken aback by the comment. "Now zip it and let me finish the tour," the host yelled, "so we can get this bird in flight." Staci cringed sheepishly.
With the sound of carnival strength tester's puck rising up and hitting the bell, Beardo raised his hand. "Yo, is there a little dude's room around here?"
"Just through there," Chris said with a smile, pointing over his shoulder with his thumb.
"Awesome," Beardo said as he walked past. "I'll be back in a sec."
xxx
After a bit of static, the beatboxer was shown walking into a small and slightly dirty restroom through a camera behind the sink. He unzipped his pants, and only then noticed the camera. He dinged in alarm, then frowned and said "Aww man, there's a camera in here again? What, can't a guy," he quickly put his hands to his mouth and made a few bathroom sounds, "in peace?"
xxx
The footage cut back to Chris, his back to the camera, addressing the contestants in another open room with what looked like a clothesline hanging between two rows of overhead compartments. "Losing teams will enjoy luxurious economy class accommodations between destinations," he said as the shot pulled back to show the room had no seats, only benches along the walls on both sides; it also had a small drip of water coming down on the right.
"Whoa," Geoff said with a quick glance around, "where the beds at, G?"
"I've already set up a little demonstration for that," Chris told him, directing everyone's attention to the right. The camera panned to follow, stopping on what looked like a balloon version of Chef Hatchet strapped to the wall. It had a sleeping mask over its eyes.
"Wow," Sierra said a blank sort of giggle, "how...uncomfortable."
"No comfort for losers," the host said. "Safety harnesses and an emergency exit," he added with gestures to where each was located off-screen. "But! No comfort here, here, or here." he pointed around the room with double finger pistols.
"I can take it," Tyler said confidently, "not that I'm gonna lose of course."
"Me neither, eh!" Ezekiel declared.
"Sha-please," Lightning added with a roll of his eyes, "the only one who's gonna keep winnin' is sha-Lightning, so just show him where he's gonna be sleepin' already."
Chris gave him an annoyed look, then rolled his eyes.
/
The scene flashed to the host standing in the aisle of a much fancier room, filled with actual seats and even a meeting table; a downplayed but elegant score began to play in the background. "This," Chris said as the camera panned to the left and showed the contestants enjoying themselves, "is the first class cabin. The domain of each week's winners."
The pan stopped on Ella and Alejandro, who were standing by the last row of seats next to a mini-bar. Sugar was watching them from a seat nearby, as was Bridgette from down the aisle.
"Now this is the kind of accommodation ladies deserve," Alejandro told the new girl, flashing a smile that made her blush.
"Why, thank you!' Ella said. "Although I won't mind if I don't get to stay here all the time, because then at least I'll know some of you will be enjoying it instead!"
"Aww, that's so sweet!" Bridgette said, walking up to the two and quickly putting an arm around Ella's shoulders and turning her aside. "You watch yourself around Alejandro, okay?" the surfer whispered. "He might seem like a real Prince Charming, but he'll stab you in the back if you're not careful."
"Oh, don't worry," the princess beamed, "I'm sure I'll be fine!"
"Indeed!" Alejandro interjected as the two girls broke their huddle. "I assure you, you have nothing to worry about from me."
Bridgette crossed her arms and raised a skeptical eyebrow at him. "Were you eavesdropping on us?"
The charmer shrugged helplessly. "My apologies, but it wasn't that hard to figure out what you were talking about."
"Maybe," the surfer admitted through pursed lips, "but I still don't trust you. And I don't want you to string poor Ella along either."
The girl in question looked like she wanted to say something, but with Bridgette and Alejandro glaring on either side of her she didn't get the opportunity.
"Ella is as intelligent and mature as any of us," Alejandro countered. "She can handle herself, and doesn't need you to baby her."
Bridgette clenched her teeth, then whipped around. "Fine!" she said as she walked away in a huff.
"Oh my," Ella said softly, concern in her eyes as she watched the blonde go.
The camera zoomed over to Sugar in the seat nearby, who rolled her eyes and snorted.
xxx
The season's second confessional wasn't given in the restroom, but rather in the cockpit – Chef was even visible sitting in the pilot's seat behind Sugar.
"I don't trust the new girl," the pageant queen began before looking around the room. "Huh," she said blankly, "smells diff'rent in here. Prob'ly on account of it not bein' a toilet. I kinda like it."
"Well I don't" Chef turned around to tell her. "I'm tryin' to prep for a flight here!"
"An' I'm tryin' to make a confession," Sugar shot back with her hands on her hips, "so shut yer yap! Anyway, I don't trust Ella."
"She seems pretty nice to me!" Chef said.
"That's just a performance," Sugar snapped angrily.
"Good singer, too!" the pilot added.
"No she is not!" Sugar said.
"Sounded good to me!" Chef said without turning around this time.
"Aww, forget it," the pageant queen growled, crossing her arms in frustration.
xxx
"Whoa, where are we now, eh?" Ezekiel asked as the footage cut back to him standing in awe with his back to an entertainment system. "There's a grand piano," he added as the camera quick-panned to a grand piano, "some kinda fancy oven," the shot cut to a close-up of a roaring fire in a cast iron wood-burning pizza oven, "and a pretty kickin' hot tub too!" The shot pulled back from the oven to show a large hot tub set up next to it with lights around the edge and swirling waters.
Geoff whistled as he walked up to the pool. "Sa-weet! Dude, you gotta tell me how to win this. Me an' Bridge love rockin' the hot tubs."
Chris walked up behind him with a frown on his face. "Easy, Tiger," he told the party boy. "These are my quarters. And they're off limits," he said sternly as a harsh line of music played, "clear?"
"Crystal, bra," Geoff said when faced by the host's stern look.
"Oh yes," Ella chimed in, "I'm sure we'll have no trouble respecting your privacy." Chris just raised an eyebrow at her.
xxx
"Anyway," Sugar continued to rant in the bathroom confessional, "Sugar sees right through the new girl's nice girl act. She's tryin' to get everyone wrapped around her little finger so they'll hand her the win, just like Al tried to do. Heck, she's already got him and Bridgette, and maybe Chris too! I'm gonna be keepin' a close eye on her from now on." She leaned towards the camera and spread the lids of her left eye, then leaned back to end with a stern nod, her hands firmly on her hips.
xxx
The scene cut back to the dining area, the seventeen contestants seated at or around the two tables. Scarlett was standing the furthest apart on the left, while the first table housed Dawn, Sammy, Ezekiel, and Scott across from DJ, Staci, Alejandro, and Lightning. The second table, meanwhile, had Bridgette, Sierra, Sugar, and Ella on one side; the princess standing closest to the host, unaware of the pageant queen's glare. Geoff, Beardo, Shawn, and Tyler were on the furthest right, with Shawn in particular standing a few feet away from the table.
"And that's pretty much it," Chris told the group, and as he spoke the high-pitched sound of the jet engines built up around them. "I skipped the cargo hold and galley, plus there's a few 'surprise features' in the confessionals designed to make eavesdropping harder. I'm looking at you, Scarlett," the shot cut to the evil genius as she rolled her eyes.
The craft suddenly shook, knocking Dawn into Sammy. "Oh!" the smaller girl said with a sudden blush as she leaned away from the cheerleader. "I'm so sorry..."
"Don't worry," Sammy said with a smile, "it's no big deal."
"It seems we're finally moving...," Alejandro said idly.
"One more thing," Chris announced. "I'm sure you remember a little something called the elimination ceremony?" The shot pulled back from his close-up as a few deep and dramatic notes played and he pointed off to the right. "Takes place right in there my friends!"
/
The host and cast were now standing in another open room, Chris in particular next to an exit door that was flanked by giant wooden heads. "If you don't receive a barf bag full of airline-issue peanuts," the host began to say before he was interrupted.
"My third-cousin-once-removed Pietro came up with the idea of serving peanuts on flights," Staci said at the front of the group. "Before him, people had to bring their own snacks, yah."
"You will be forced to take the Drop of Shame," Chris continued with an utterly unamused glare towards the chatterbox.
"And before him-" Staci began to add before the host grabbed her by the collar of her shirt.
"Kinda like this!" The camera cut to the outside of the jet, now taxiing down the runway. Staci was thrown from an open door near the tail, and bounced off the pavement as Chris could just be seen looking out the door.
"Hey!" she said with a frown as she stood back up. "Like, what was that for?" The camera pulled back from her close-up as she began to chase after the plane. "Hey! Can you, like, slow down so I can get back in?"
"All eliminations are final!" Chris said with a cheery wave from the open door.
/
The scene cut to a world map, an airplane symbol 'flying' from northeastern Canada towards Africa. As it flew, the real jet's engines were roaring.
/
Once again, the scene cut back to the dining area. The cast were in the same seats they'd been in prior to the impromptu elimination demonstration, save that Shawn was actually sitting and Staci was, naturally, completely absent.
"Every second we're getting closer to adventure," DJ said sadly as the shot zoomed closer to him, "and further from Momma." He slumped down onto the table as Sammy patted his arms in a comforting manner, and the camera promptly panned over to Tyler on the other side of the room.
"Man, I can't wait to find out where we're going first!" the jock said excitedly. "But wherever it is, I bet it's gonna be awesome, right guys?" He looked at the contestants sitting at the table with him; Shawn and Beardo and Sugar gave him blank looks, though Ella and Sierra and Bridgette and especially Geoff were smiling in agreement.
It was then that a small musical note logo twirled onto the lower right corner of the screen, accompanied by two quick rings of a bell. The cast looked to the left, and the camera cut to Chris leaning coolly in the passageway out of the dining hall. He was wearing a dapper, if old-fashioned, suit, complete with bowler hat and baton. A short show tune played as he stood up straight, removed his hat, and struck a wide-legged pose with his feet turned inward.
"Whenever you hear that friendly little bell," he told the cast with a wag of his finger, "it's musical number time!" He raised his hat and baton into the air in another cheery pose, then stood straight again and put both items behind his back. "So!" he smiled devilishly. "Let's hear it!"
Ella's face immediately lit up. "Ooh, what would you like us to sing?"
"You have to make it up as you go," Chris explained. "Wouldn't be challenging otherwise, now would it?"
~/~
A single blaring note accompanied Ella's opening line, the princess standing and raising her left arm with dramatic flare. "Oh how I love to sing~"
"Sing~" Sugar immediately joined in with a sharp look at the new girl, mimicking Ella's pose as both girls sung the word.
"Sing~" Sierra added her voice and pose to the two before her, uncertainty on her face.
"Sing~!" Bridgette repeated with the other three girls, as uncertain as Sierra.
"Fly~" Geoff sung, mirroring his girlfriend's pose but with a smile on his face.
"Fly~" Beardo confidently added his voice to Geoff's.
"Fly~" Shawn joined in with a resigned expression.
"Fly~!" Tyler sung uncertainly as the boys repeated their line.
"We're singing!" Ella, Sugar, Sierra, and Bridgette sung, joined by anxious-looking Dawn and Sammy in the back row; all six girls rising up from between the tables.
"And flying!" Geoff, Beardo, Shawn, and Tyler added, with sneering Scott, wide-eyed Ezekiel, nervous DJ, and neutral Alejandro adding their voices in the guys' back row; all eight rose up in front of the girls.
"We're singing and flying!" the fourteen castmates sung over an aerial view of the jet as it passed over a winding river, the camera zooming in and rotating so the plane was now soaring against the sunny sky; the music made a hectic transition along with the shot.
"Come fly with us!" Ella sang in the first class seating, twirling to the same sort of grandiose sounds that had started the song intermixed with some of Beardo's beats, the shot pulling back to show the hairy boy standing a couple feet away.
"Come fly with us!" Beardo joined in as Ella repeated the phrase. The two were suddenly shoved aside by Sugar, who jumped out from behind a seat.
"My singin's the bomb, it leaves 'em all in the dust, hah!" Sugar sang, the grandiose music temporarily getting replaced by a country-sounding banjo rendition.
"Come fly with us, come fly with us!" Bridgette and Geoff sang together as they slow-danced in another part of the first class area. They leaned in to kiss, but a camera suddenly popped out behind them and flashed. The shot pulled back out to show the camera in the hands of a sly-smiling Sierra.
"We have fans now, getting gossip is a must!" she sang. A few askew notes played as the two blondes were shown blinking and rubbing their eyes.
"Uh-uh, no way Lightning's ever gonna sing," the uber-jock said back in the dining hall, speaking in time with the harsh drumbeats that had taken over the music.
"Come on man, who knows? Maybe it's your thing!" Tyler told him with an imploring look as the drumbeats briefly stopped.
"I refuse to debase myself for Chris!" Scarlett said forcefully to the drum beats, standing on the opposite side of the table the jocks were at with her arms firmly crossed.
"After everything that you've been through, you're giving up at this~?" Alejandro sung at her with a taunting smirk on his face, taking her hand as he stepped into the scene and twirling her around.
"Come fly with us!" DJ sang, dancing in front of the first class minibar to a more jazzy rendition of the music. On either side of him Dawn and Sammy were also dancing, but each was doing their own thing without the involvement of the others.
"Come fly with us!" the girls joined their voices with the gentle giant as a bit of turbulence shook the plane.
"You have your pilot's license, right?" Shawn asked frantically in the cockpit, clutching to the copilot's seat.
"Mostly," Chef said with a laid-back shrug, hands behind his head and legs lifted up. The music briefly cut out as the camera pulled back outside the plane; the camera rotated and zoomed back in on the rear side door as the music resumed at a slower pace.
"They might have thought they've dropped me," Staci sung, a spotlight shining on an open piece of luggage in what was presumably the cargo hold.
"But that will never stop me; Not while I have my family in my heart!"
The music promptly resumed its former pace as the scene cut from the stowaway to a smoking wing engine.
"Come fly with us! Come die with us!" Scott sang, the camera panning right after the first line to show him watching with fear out the nearest window.
"I really don't think this plane is safe, eh!" Ezekiel added in spoken word, the camera panning right even further to show him also looking out a window in alarm.
"Come fly with us!" a number of voices sang together, the show tune becoming more upbeat despite the camera focusing on Scarlett and Lightning sulking back-to-back in the dining hall.
"Come sing with us!" the voices continued, the camera pulling as the four singers revealed themselves as Sierra, DJ, Shawn, and Ella.
"NO!" the evil genius and uber-jock said forcefully just as the music cut down to a simmer and the four singers ducked back down to be replaced by Chris.
"Would anyone like a copy of the season three rules?" he asked with a grin, holding up a stack of papers. "Because in order to escape instant elimination..." Chris was cut off by Bridgette as the surfer walked up behind him and snatched away the rules.
"All contestants must sing in each show!" Bridgette sang to a lighter part of the tune, her back to the glaring host.
"Lightning, dude, get your head in the game!" Tyler told his fellow jock imploringly, the music taking on a forceful tone.
"So long, Scarlett! It sure isn't a shame~" Alejandro added, still with a taunting smirk.
"You won't get rid of me that easily," the brainiac muttered darkly before getting on her feet and shoving the charmer aside.
"Come fly with us, come fly with us," Scarlett sang by herself, watched by Sugar, Scott, and Alejandro on one side; Lightning, Tyler, Bridgette and Sierra on the other.
"Before, we hit, the dust~!" she kicked a few times, then got on her knees and spread her arms as she finished her part.
"Dude, c'mon, please?" Tyler begged once more, and Lightning pursed his lips for a moment before finally opening them, closing his eyes, and spreading his arms.
"Iiiiiiiiii better wiiiiiin~!" he sang grudgingly, the camera slowly pulling back to show the majority of the cast now standing around him: Dawn and DJ and Sammy in the back row; Shawn and Alejandro and Tyler and Scott and Beardo and Scarlett in the middle row; Ella siting down, Sierra on her knees, and Sugar on one knee to stage right of Lightning in the front row; Geoff and Ezekiel on one knee and Bridgette lying half on her side to stage left.
"Yeah!" the cast minus Lightning said as one, doing jazz hands as well.
~/~
The music ended, and the camera followed the cast's gaze over to Chris, who was reading a newspaper. A ding signaled the in-flight intercom coming on, and the host looked up as Chef began to talk. "Enough singin' fruitcakes!" he said, a loudspeaker on the wall shaking with every word. "Strap yourselves in! We are now beginnin' our descent into Egypt." He continued in what sounded like an under-his-breath tone. "Musical numbers. Worst idea ever. Chris is such an idiot." The host gasped. "Hey, why's the PA light still on?" Chef asked. "Aww, sh-" A screeching feedback of the intercom turning off signaled that Chef had finally cut himself off.
"We'll be right back," Chris told the camera, his face scrunched up in annoyance.
(Fade to Commercial and Back)
The episode resumed with the jumbo jet having already landed on a runway in the Egyptian desert, the cast assembled out front and a great stone pyramid behind them in the distance.
"You guys ready for a little fun? Huh?" Chris asked as he entered the scene dressed as a Pharaoh, sipping some cold drink and getting carried in on a leaf-shaded sedan chair by two white-skinned men in stereotypical ancient Egyptian garb. "Wow, it's a scorcher out here huh?" he added before taking a sip of his drink through a bendy straw. "I call today's challenge 'Pyramid Over-Under'!" The nearby pyramid was shown as he named the challenge.
"An eleven hour flight," Scarlett complained, "Chef's atrocious cooking, that forced musical number, and now a challenge as well?"
"Don't you love this game?" Chirs asked with a grin, the litter now on the ground as one of his 'servants' fanned him with the leaf.
/
The scene flashed forward to the sixteen present contestants lined up in two rows at a starting line: Ezekiel, Ella, Bridgette, Geoff, Shawn, Dawn, Lightning, and Tyler in the front; Alejandro, Beardo, Scarlett, DJ, Sammy, Sugar, Sierra, and Scott in back.
The camera cut to a close-up of Scarlett, who clearly seemed to be suffering the most in the sizzling heat. "This accursed collar is going to cook me alive if we don't start soon," she muttered angrily, trying in vain to cool her neck down by waving her hands.
"Shoulda thought of that before you went on a rampage last season, cheater," Beardo told her in an uncaring voice.
Scarlett stared at the hairy boy. "That statement is absolute nonsense, you simpleton," she said sharply. "How on Earth could I have predicted that my actions would indirectly bring about my current situation months later?" Beardo just shrugged, still without an ounce of sympathy.
Chris suddenly banged to large cymbals together, distracting Scarlett before she could retort. "Man!" the host said with his typical smile. "That's satisfying. Alright! 'Pyramid Over-Under' means you choose how you'll get to the finish line. Either over or under the pyramid. Got it?" Those on the right end nodded.
"Ready!" the host shouted as the contestants got into running positions. "Set!"
"Wait up!" came the voice of Staci, causing the castmates on-screen to look behind. "Like, wait up you guys!" Staci repeated, the shot pulling back to show her running up to the starting line with a huff. Chris was shown looking annoyed as the girl came running into the close-up, saying "I, like, said I wasn't gonna lose this time, remember?"
"Didn't we leave you in, like, Halifax, or Whitehorse, or, whatever?" the host asked.
"Oh yah," Staci nodded, "but I managed to grab the landing gear and climbed up into the cargo hold."
"Impressive," Chris told her. "Buuuut, you're still out."
"What?! No I'm not!" Staci countered. "The competition hasn't, like, even started yet!"
"Hey, your funeral," the host said blankly before putting his smile back on and raising the cymbals. "Set? Go!" He banged them together and the cast started running, even Staci after a moment. Many of them were shown running into the pyramid.
/
The scene flashed inside, the camera looking into a room from the doorway – various things lined either wall, and there were three doorways out the other end.
"Great!" Scott griped. "Looks like Chris forgot to mention there were different paths!"
The perspective inverted, showing some of the contestants who'd chosen 'under': Beardo in front; Scott and Ezekiel and Sierra behind him on the left; DJ and Sammy and Dawn looking out from the right.
"Obviously," Scarlett spoke up from behind the group, "we're meant to choose one of the paths."
"But which one, eh?" Ezekiel asked.
"Hmm," Sierra tapped her chin in thought, "any one of them could be right!"
"Or all of them could be," Beardo added.
"Maybe those symbols mean something?" Sammy asked, pointing above the doorways. The camera promptly cut to a close-up, showing an ankh above the left door, a scarab above the middle, and a mummy above the right.
"What do you think, Dawn?" DJ asked the mystic, who had closed her eyes, pinched her fingers together, and raised a leg behind her.
"Mmmm," she hummed for a moment before opening her eyes and pointing to the left path. "I believe that way will be the safest," she declared.
"Sounds good to me," DJ said as he and Sammy followed their friend into the passageway.
"Well I'm going this way," Scott said, heading through the middle door – the scarab door – with Ezekiel.
/
Another flash took the scene back outside the pyramid, the camera looking up at the sun blaring high above it's peak. A pan down the side put the focus on the unlikely trio of Alejandro, Ella, and Sugar standing at the base.
"Dang, maybe I shoulda gone under instead," the pageant queen said, wiping the sweat from her brow with the hand she'd been using to shield the sun.
"Do as you wish," Alejandro told her as he climbed up the first level and turned around to help Ella up. "I know I will be headed over."
"Oh no," Sugar said with furrowed brow, "I ain't about to let you two go off alone together."
"Fantastic idea, Sugar!" Ella smiled. "We'd be happy to have you with us."
"...then we should hurry," Alejandro said in a neutral tone as Sugar grudgingly walked over. "Lightning and Tyler are already far ahead." He looked back up the pyramid, and the camera quick-panned up the slope to show the two jocks quickly climbing.
"Sha-bam! Sha-zing! Sha-woosh!" Lightning exclaimed as he made rapid climbing strides up the stone blocks.
"Extreme!" Tyler shouted enthusiastically a couple levels behind.
/
"Just so you know," Shawn said as he tied a rope tightly around his waist, still outside the pyramid, "I'm only doing this so that if one of us falls through the roof into the clutches of the undead," the shot pulled back to show Geoff and Bridgette also tied to the rope, "the other two can pull them back up."
"Uhh, I thought there were only, like, mummies in pyramids," Geoff said with a concerned look.
"Mummies are basically just zombies wrapped up in bandages," Shawn said matter-of-factly as he tightened his end of the rope one last time. "I'm not sure if they're still infectious, but I do know that they're cursed so we have to be careful no matter what."
Geoff and Bridgette shared a quick look. "Oh, well thanks for letting us tag along despite the risk!"
"'Shyeah," the party boy added, "we'll, like, climb this pyramid way faster now!"
"Just don't make me regret it," Shawn said as the trio walked over to the first level of the structure.
/
"Wow," Sierra said as she and Beardo walked through a passageway with a slab on the wall engraved with hieroglyphics. "This place sure is spooky."
Beardo nodded, and made an eery whistle for good measure.
"Makes you think that just about anything could come popping out at you," Sierra continued.
"Yeah, like some kinda mummy or somethin'," the hairy boy added.
Just then, the two came upon a large pile of bandages on the floor. They shared a nervous look, then Beardo said "Please tell me that's just some extra stuff they forgot to clean up?"
Sierra gulped. "Only one way to find out..." She cautiously toed it with her shoe...and it just collapsed a little.
/
The camera flashed back outside the to peak of the pyramid, where a sign had been set up warning of the fact that it was, quite literally, all downhill from there.
"Sha-bam!" the uber-jock exclaimed as he hauled himself up from behind the highest stone block, vaulting up to the top where he landed with ease and kissed his biceps. "Looks like Lightning is the champion pyramid climber!"
"And Tyler is coming in at second place!" the other jock said, sweating heavily as he pulled himself up to the top as well, promptly flopping over onto his belly.
/
A close-up of an odd-looking floor tile back inside was shown next, and DJ's sandaled foot was about to step down on it.
"Wait!" Dawn exclaimed as the shot rapidly pulled out to show her quickly pulling the gentle giant back as Sammy watched on with confusion on her face. "There's traps everywhere," the mystic explained to her friends. "We have to be careful!"
"Right, got it," DJ told her with a smile and a nod. He finished his step onto the odd tile without thinking, and Sammy and Dawn quickly had to force him down to the ground as several spears shot out of the walls. The girls gave him annoyed looks, and he just smiled sheepishly.
/
Meanwhile, Alejandro and Ella seemed to be making fairly good time in their climb – and the charmer had even taken to carrying the princess on his shoulder. As they got up another level, the camera panned back to the grunting form of Sugar as she hauled herself up onto the next stone block.
"Hey!" she shot up at Alejandro and Ella. "You two better not be thinkin' of leavin' Sugar behind, okay?"
"Oh," the singer said in concern as the camera moved back to her, "we really should go back and help her."
Alejandro scowled briefly, but quickly hid it with a sigh. "As you wish," he told the girl as he gently lifted her off his shoulder. He quickly jumped down a couple levels to just above the pageant queen, and offered his arm to her.
She immediately grabbed it with enough force that Alejandro had to quickly regain his balance lest he fall. "Please try to keep up," he whispered to Sugar as he pulled the girl up.
She just sniffed in disdain.
/
Scott and Ezekiel were shown next, running through the pyramid past a shelf of mummified animals – a penguin, a monkey, a dog, an octopus, and a cat judging by their shapes. The homeschooler skidded to halt and turned back to get a closer look at them, prompting Scott to do so as well out of irritation.
"Pretty neat, eh," Ezekiel said. "Musta been some pretty important pets if they got mummified."
"Fascinating," Scott said, rolling his eyes. "Now let's get out of here. And don't touch anything," he quickly slapped Ezekiel's hand as it reached for the dog mummy, "I don't wanna get cursed again."
"Good call," Ezekiel said, rubbing his hand as the two boys ran off again.
/
"Didn't you say this was the safest direction?" Sammy asked as the scene flashed over to her sidling along a wall, Dawn ahead and DJ behind.
"It is, if we take things carefully," the mystic added with a pointed look at DJ that earned another sheepish grin from the boy. "Traps are much easier to deal with than the dark energies that lie down the other paths."
"Dark energies?" DJ squeaked in fear.
"Oh, I'm sure the others will be fine," Dawn said reassuringly. "They didn't seem too unlucky today."
DJ and Sammy shared a nervous look.
/
Another flash moved the focus to a close-up of a mummy icon at the top of a doorway, the camera panning down to show Scarlett walking with her hands clamped down over her ears as Staci followed along behind her.
"...and so that's how my great-great-great-Grandfather Hector discovered his seventh lost tomb!" the chatterbox said.
"I don't care!" Scarlett replied in the tone of one who was growing incredibly tired of saying the same thing over and over.
"Well I just thought it was an interesting story," Staci huffed, "you don't have to, like, bite my head off."
"Don't tempt me," Scarlett told her before noticing a small button on the wall ahead of them. She quickly looked over the hieroglyphics next to it, then smiled. As she and Staci walked closer, she pressed the button, then darted forward with a cackle.
"Hey, don't leave me-" Staci began to say, lingering behind just long enough for a pile of bandages to drop onto her from the ceiling, along with an ornate-looking ankh and crook.
/
"Hmm," Shawn tapped his chin in thought, now standing at the peak of the pyramid with Geoff and Bridgette. "This steep slope is gonna give us some trouble."
"There's gotta be some way of makin' it easy," Geoff added, scratching his forehead.
Bridgette looked over at the warning sign and smiled. "I'm a surfer!" she said in realization, grabbing the signing and trying to pry it loose. "I can surf!"
"Boo yah!" Geoff told her with a grin as he helped her get the sign. "Looks like surf's up for the three of us, dudes!" The two blondes easily snapped the sign out of the rock, and Shawn shrugged in acceptance as they maneuvered it into surfing position.
/
The next flash took the scene to a different location outside of the pyramid – the exit. Scott and Ezekiel were the first two to make it out, running and panting all the way to the finish line where Chris was waiting for them.
"Good work guys!" he told them as they stopped to catch their breath.
"Wait, are we in first?" Scott asked in a suspicious tone.
"Yo, I think we are!" Ezekiel cheered, raising his fists into the air.
"Go stand behind the number one," Chris told them, gesturing over his shoulder with his thumb.
"Aww yeah homie," Ezekiel said, high fiving Scott as the two boys started walking again, "Scott and Zeke are kickin' it at the top." The camera cut back to the host, who shook his head and rolled his eyes.
/
Back inside the pyramid, Sierra and Beardo were shown running from something – the girl screaming, the boy making sounds like a terrified racecar. They were followed by an ominous shadow on the wall that was soon revealed to be cast by what looked at first glance to be a hopping and heavily-bandaged mummy.
As soon as it got to the center of the screen it paused, wriggled a bit, and finally stuck an arm out to clear away the wrappings around its mouth.
"Guys, wait!" the voice of Staci said while uncovering more of her head. "It's just me! And I'm totally not a mummy, okay? I'm just looking for Scarlett!" The camera moved in for a close-up as she paused, the hope in her eyes fading as rapidly as the sounds of Beardo and Sierra's fleeing.
"...Guys?" Staci called again with much more uncertainty in her voice.
/
The background music became a little faster paced as the scene cut to Scarlett as she ran down a passageway, stopping at every doorway to look inside. "No...no...no!" she said at each successive one, finally stopping at the third one to growl in frustration and pound her fist on the stone wall.
"How am I supposed to free myself of this blasted collar if I don't have any tools?" she said to herself, tugging a little at the metal ring around her neck. "I know the ancient Egyptians were inventive, there has to be something I can use to disrupt the circuit!" She began to run again, still pausing now and then to check through doors. "A chisel, a knife, a pair of tongs, anything!"
The camera zoomed in on her foot as she stepped on an unusual floor tile, causing the room to shake. She immediately stopped and looked around, her eyes going wide as countless beetles began to pour into the room. "Except scarab beetles!" she exclaimed as she began to run from the swarm of insects.
/
Back outside, the music took a glorious turn as Lightning sprung down the steps of the pyramid. "Oh yeah," he said upon reaching the bottom, "who's the man? Oh wait! Lightning already knows!"
A series of grunts and thuds got hit attention, and the camera followed his gaze backwards to show Tyler tumbling down the pyramid in a rather painful and uncontrolled manner. He finally landed in the sand, groaned and weakly raised a thumbs-up. "Were you behind Lightning the whole time?" the uber-jock asked as he helped his fellow athlete up. He noted Tyler's woozy expression, then shrugged. "Whatever. Lightning woulda been ahead anyhow."
"You didn't beat us," Scott told him as Chris motioned for Lightning and Tyler to join the other boys.
"Only 'cause you two went under," the overachiever said with a scowl. "Lightning still beat everyone who went over!"
"Not by much, dudes!" Geoff's excited voice caught everyone's attention, directing the camera back to the side of the pyramid where Bridgette, Geoff, and Shawn were surfing down the slope perched somewhat precariously on top of the warning sign. They cheered as they slid onto the sand, then quickly untied the rope connecting them. They made a beeline for the four who'd already arrived, but only Geoff got past Chris.
"Not so fast!" the host told the other two, sticking an arm out to stop them. "This season, three teams!" He held up a trio of fingers, then put an arm around the shoulders of the surfer and survivalist. "Geoff rounds out Team One. Bridgette and Shawn, you're the first members of Team Two!"
"Wait, really?" Bridgette asked, giving her boyfriend a concerned look.
"Bummer," Geoff said sadly.
"If it's any consolation," Chris told the girl, "you also get...," he motioned to the side, the shot cutting to the pyramid's exit. A sharp and thrilling melody played as Sierra and Beardo ran screaming out the structure all the way to the finish line.
"I'm not sure if that's a good thing," Shawn said hesitantly," or a bad thing."
xxx
"Not that I have anything against the two," Shawn clarified in the restroom confessional, "it's just that running screaming out of a pyramid is usually a bad sign. For all I know, they've been cursed!"
xxx
Back at the pyramid's exit, the trio of DJ, Sammy, and Dawn were the next to emerge to another round of triumphant music.
"Finally we're outta there!" DJ said in relief as they ran towards the finish line.
"Yeah, I almost thought we were goners for a few seconds," Sammy added with a small smile.
"Fortunately that was not the case," Dawn said as the trio reached the finish line.
"Best team ever, am I right?" the gentle giant said, pulling the two girls into a group hug.
"Oh my..." Dawn said with a sudden blush that the others missed.
"Aaaaand hug's over," Chris announced, the background music stopping abruptly. "DJ, get behind the number two." The gentle giant frowned, but went to join the foursome who greeted him with smiles and waves. "Samey and Dawn, you'll be on Team Three."
"Guess we're being split up again," Sammy told her boyfriend.
"I'm sure things will work out for u-I mean, for you and DJ," Dawn said, giving the cheerleader a comforting pat on the shoulder. "You got through last season just fine on different teams."
Sammy smiled. "Right. Now who's left?" she looked around the assembled contestants with a puzzled look on her face.
The scene immediately cut to the top of the pyramid where Alejandro was grudgingly pulling Sugar up to the highest block where Ella was already standing with a concerned expression.
"Should I assume you'll need my assistance in going down, as well?" Alejandro said bitterly.
"No," Sugar told him sharply as she quickly brushed herself off, "I can do that by myself thank-you-very-much."
"Oh kiii~iids!" Chris called up to them through a megaphone, and a familiar set of dings played. "Recognize that sound?" the host asked as the shot moved down to him. "Time for whoever's not finished yet to give us a little musical reprise!"
"I thought you said one song per episode!" Alejandro called back down in confusion.
"Yeah," Chris told him, "and this is a reprise, not a new song! So if you don't sing, you're out! So let's hear it!"
~/~
The three at the top of the pyramid shrugged at one another, and the same grand musical score that had been used for the earlier musical number began to play again.
"Come climb with us, come climb with us!" Ella sang happily as she elegantly leaped down two levels of the pyramid.
"The sun may be hot, but the rules say we must," Alejandro joined in as the camera moved back to him looking up at the sky with a hand shielding his eyes. He started his own descent as well, and the camera moved back to Ella who was still happily leaping from one level to the next.
"Come climb with us, come climb with us!" the princess repeated.
"What I sure wouldn't give for a bus," Sugar added, the camera panning to her slowly climbing down backwards.
A quick-pan moved the camera inside to Scarlett running through a passageway.
"Please someone tell me that that isn't what I think," she said despairingly to the harsh drum beats.
"Sure! And also, these wrappings really stink!" the voice of Staci added suddenly as a chute opened up in the ceiling and she dropped out in from of the evil genius, still mostly covered in mummy bandages.
"Gah!" Scarlett said, recoiling in shock. The grand music then resumed as the camera quick-panned back up to Sugar.
"Come climb with us, come trip with us!" the pageant queen sung as she lost her balance and fell backwards, quickly colliding with both Alejandro and Ella. The music seemed to skip a little, then resumed at a faster pace as the shot panned down to Scarlett and Staci once more.
"Come run with us, don't fall on us!" the brainiac sang loudly and with great annoyance. The camera panned ahead down the corridor to show the exit a little ways away, then cut outside just as the two girls emerged...and Sugar, Alejandro, and Ella tumbled down onto them.
"'Cause laaaanding reeeeally suuuuucks!" Staci sung from the bottom of the heap.
"Yeah!" the five finished weakly, even including jazz hands.
~/~
The camera immediately panned over to Chris, who was clapping enthusiastically. "Great work!" he told them. "I loved it!"
"Gracias," Alejandro said bitterly as he and the others finally made their way to the finish line.
"Alejandro, Ella, Sugar, and Scarlett, you guys round out Team Three," Chris said, ignoring the glares from the latter two girls and gesturing over at Sammy and Dawn, who were shown watching with rather blank expressions.
xxx
"Well this is sure to be an infuriating and tedious team," Scarlett complained in the restroom confessional. "Three of them are no more than ants, but Alejandro and Dawn will almost certainly make my life difficult. Well," she conceded, "more difficult than it already is anyway." She tapped at her collar, and was promptly shocked.
xxx
"And that's about it I'd say," Chris said with a look of finality, pointedly ignoring Staci who was standing a couple feet away removing the bandages she'd gotten stuck in.
"Hey!" she said with a frown. "Aren't you forgetting me? I totally did everything like everyone else did, you gotta let me back in the game!"
Chris sighed in annoyance. "Fine, but only so you shut up about it. Go ahead and join Team One."
Staci grinned. "Oh yah, thanks so much!" she said, eagerly tearing off the rest of the wrappings.
The viewpoint shifted to show the three teams standing in an arc around the host – Geoff, Tyler, Lightning, Scott, and Ezekiel on the left with Staci walking towards them; DJ, Shawn, Bridgette, Beardo, and Sierra on the right; Scarlett, Dawn, Sammy, Alejandro, Ella, and Sugar further back on the right.
"Okay teams," Chris said, "talk amongst yourselves and determine a team name. You have three minutes," he held up the same number of fingers, "while I enjoy this ice cram cone," he held up said treat.
"Team Victory!" the six members of the former Team One cheered as one, the camera cutting to the yellowish sky above them as a circular logo spun into the screen with a ding; it depicted a yellow cup-style trophy.
"Team Universe!" the other group of six, formerly Team Three, announced, raising their hands together in the air. Another ding accompanied the appearance of their new logo, a blue spiral galaxy.
The third team seemed to be having trouble coming to a decision, the camera panning across the five as they muttered things like "Team Zombie Killers," "Team Fluffy Bunny," "The Awesomers," and "We're not getting anywhere!" Finally, the shot came to a rest on Sierra who seemed to be deep in thought.
"Got it!" she finally announced with a smile. "Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Mean."
"What?" her teammates chorused as their logo appeared: Chris McLean's face, colored red to suit his evil smirk and devil horns.
"All right!" the host told them with his usual smile. "I woulda preferred 'Hot' over 'Mean', but it's still the best name of the three. And here are your rewards," he added, gesturing to the side. "Team Universe," he pointed back at the off-screen team, "you win a camel!" He pointed back to the other side, and the camera cut to a camel and a goat standing on a wooden platform nearby.
Ella clapped happily, while Alejandro and Scarlett looked annoyed, Sammy and Sugar looked confused, and Dawn just looked calm.
"Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Really Mean," the host continued.
"I'm pretty sure there's only four 'Really's," Shawn interjected.
"You win a goat!" Chris said without acknowledging the comment. The goat immediately rushed over to the team, forcing DJ and Beardo to step aside to avoid getting headbutted.
"And Team Victory, here ya go!" Chris finished, holding up a forked stick.
"Wait, if the guys who came in last got a camel," Tyler asked in confusion, "how come we only get a stick?"
"All will be explained," the host said as the series' capstone theme started up, "if I feel like it. Next time!" he pointed at the camera. "Right here! On Total!" the shot pulled back a little to show Shawn and Bridgette giving the goat uncertain looks. "Drama!" the next zoom-out included DJ, Beardo, and the camel. "Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" he sang the final two words, the entire cast now included in the shot along with the setting sun and a smaller pyramid in the background.
(Fade to Credits)
Author's Note - Post Script
So, there we go. The introduction of Tyler and Ella along with the reintroduction of the others, particularly the four who missed out on season two, are something I'm really hoping I got right. The newbies have their own quirks and difficulties with respect to their role in this season compared to their role in canon, while the others I'm just hoping I've kept consistent.
The songs...well, I hope that at the very least they weren't cringeworthy to read. I went with a 'Shuffled' version of canon's first song here just to start the season out with a bit of familiarity, though most of the songs won't have any connection to their canon counterparts. Incidentally, the titles for this episode's songs are 'Come Fly With Us (Shuffled version)' and its reprise, 'Come Climb With Us'. Regarding the formatting, the '~/~' used to separate them was something I kinda came up with last second, and I'm still not sure how well it or the overall writing format of the musical numbers is gonna work.
The first challenge was pretty easy, since most of the groups were pretty obvious. Beardo and Sierra were basically leftovers that didn't really have any obvious partners in the cast, which is why they went together. Though the routes and obstacles were the same as in canon, the overall outcome is different - noticeably, nobody got cursed and nobody ended up quitting.
For the teams, I knew from the start that I didn't want to keep thing the same as canon. As such, only one team name was reused - but with Lightning in Team One, 'Victory' was an obvious choice. The naming of Team Two, though by Sierra as it was in canon, reflects the fact that this is her third season on the show instead of her first, so she's not as warm towards Chris as she used to be. And as for Team Universe...well, that name means something different to each of them, and overall I felt it was a better fir than 'Team Amazon'.
I will admit that, with my current plan for the season, there is at least one glaring problem with the teams as they are now that I haven't yet been able to fix to my satisfaction. It won't matter until much later on, though, so there's still time to rework things a bit even if I can't really change the teams themselves.
It hasn't come up yet, but I'll also be covering the post-elimination 'Drop of Shame' videos for each episode that has an actual elimination.
One last announcement before I wrap things up: for those who follow it, Total Drama Rebirth will almost certainly be updated some time tomorrow. For those who haven't yet, feel free to check out my other story.
Until next week, I look forward to your reviews!
- Fangren