So, this is a fic that stayed in my folder for a long time and I decided that it was time that I finished it. So here it is. It is a translation of my original version that is in French.
So, as you must have understand, English is not my first language, it's my third. I tried to do my best with the traduction and I hope that I didn't do too much errors. If you found one, do not hesitate to say it to me so I can correct it :-)
This fic takes place at the end of Winter Soldier and there is no allusion to te films that come after (so no spoiler for after 2014. This fic is way older than what I thought... Don't worry, I rewrote it multiple time because my writing was not great at this period)
Warning, there is death here. Important death. The story revolves around it.
And finally, I do not own the characters, everything is property of Marvel.
Steve leaned back against the machinery of the helicarrier. Hill confirmed to him that the triangulation worked. She said that all he needed to do was to get out of there.
His answer came quickly. He asked her to launch the destruction of the ships.
He put an hand on his chest, feeling blood running under his fingers just where the bullet had gone out. He had really little chance of survival, that was to close to his heart. Maybe with time and the serum he could heal. But, he wasn't sure he wanted to. Not anymore.
He straightened with difficulty while the first shots began. In little time the helicarrier would be in pieces, and him too probably.
When he was up, he saw Bucky on the deck below, trying to move the imposing beam that was crushing him. This time again, Steve didn't think long. He let himself more or less glide down to the deck.
With his last forces, he managed to lift the beam enough to let the winter soldier crawl out. When he was free, he attacked again.
One blow was enough to put the Captain on the ground. He didn't move again, staying simply there, eyes fixed on the enemy.
"I don't want to fight Bucky... Not against you..." He dropped his shield that plummeted into the Potomac by one of the numerous hole in the floor.
The killer came closer, profiting that his mission was disarmed to prepare for a fatal blow. His fist punched one time, two time, three before stopping. He received no resistance, just a smile. "Bucky I... I don't have a lot of time left..." He breathed.
A hand came closer, trembling, to the face of the killer. It came to rest on his cheek, a fleeting gesture, a caress.
Grey eyes opened wide when memories came flooding, submerging his mind. Slowly, so slowly another hand came to rest on the one of the soldier, tightening to tether him to something real, to prove that everything was real.
"Steve? Steve? I... what did I..." Horror and disgust disfigured his face while he realized what he has done and what he has tried to do just moments ago. However, he couldn't let himself sink further in despair, a whisper brought him back to reality "Bucky I... I'm so sorry..."
The killer was agitated, not understanding "Why?! Why?! I... I tried to kill you! I tried to kill you!"
"Buck..." was whispered last.
They couldn't talk longer. The fragile floor yielded under their foots. They fell, still clinging to each other.
The fall seemed painfully long, a strange silence following them in their descent while they watched the helicarrier disappearing in one last grandiose explosion. Silence, time seemed to slow.
And then everything accelerated at once when they hit the water. The cold and the violent shock took them out of their torpor. But all that Steve was capable of was to let himself sink while is body betrayed him.
A hand pulled him at the surface, a body against his kept him afloat till he felt his back touch the shore. He felt himself be dragged till he was on dry land. He wasn't really sure, he didn't perceive anything apart a presence by his side.
Bucky was there, sitting by his side, catching his breath. Steve moved his arm with difficulty till he was in contact with his old friend. This one got out of his trancelike state, letting worry take the lead from everything else.
Two hands came on the heart of the soldier, trying to stop the flow of blood.
"Steve... Steve hold on... Please hold on! I'm so sorry... Help... You need help..." Bucky prepared himself to go, desperate to find a solution. But a hand held him back gently, too blue eyes, a smile. "Stay with me... I don't want to be alone."
What little hope he had disappeared with this simple phrase. And when he heard it, he knew what he had to do. A strange calmness took hold of him. The calm of fatality. There was nothing to do but to enjoy the last moments.
Slowly he came to rest against his childhood friends, snuggling the closest he could, face against face, squeezing a hand in his flesh one, trying to transmit a little warmth. Like before... Like it was so long ago.
Steve smiled. "Thank you."
He had one last thing to do before he could let himself slip away. He tried to manipulate his communicator to turn it on, but his limbs refused to cooperate. Bucky helped.
There was a sizzle while the blond explained the frequency he needed. "Natasha?"
An answer came from the other side "Steve? Steve are you all right?"
He gathered his last strength. "Tasha... I've some things to say to you...
The russian spy spotted her superior and Sam. They landed moments ago and Hill had rejoined them by car to help the research. They were not paying attention to her while they tried to organize some trusty agents.
She got further, sat down against ruins of the Triskelion. She recognized the tone, the breath of the soldier. She knew what was going to happen and she wanted to be alone for it.
"Tasha?" Her name sounded like a plea.
"I'm here Steve." She reassured.
"I wanted to say thank you..."
She smiled, it was so him to say something like that at such a time. "You don't have to."
"I want to. Thank you for helping me these last few years... Thank for helping me integrate, understanding this strange new world..."
"But it was not enough." She pointed. Unconsciously she has known it since long ago, but she never dwelled on it. Just wanting to do her best and hoping that it would get better. It never got.
"No... I think that nothing could have been... But thank you none the less. Say thank you to Clint for me too. He helped me a lot..."
"I'll say it to him." She promised
"Thanks... I think that you were what I had the closest to family... Tony and Bruce too... Thor..." He struggled to say all the names, seeming to understand the number of people he was letting behind.
"I'll say it to them" She promised.
"Can I ask you one favor? My shield... Give it to Sam. He deserve it... If he doesn't want it... I'll let you choose who will inherit it. I'm sure that you'll make a good choice."
She felt her stomach clench and for the first time in a long time, she felt tears gathering in her eyes. Nevertheless, she didn't let them fall, containing them as best as she could, doing everything to not let her voice waver.
"I will do it" Another promise.
"Thanks..."
A silence followed. She strained her hear, finding little confort in the still present weak breathing of one of the few person she could call a great friend.
"Steve... I'm sorry that we never could make you feel like you belonged here, to this time..." She said, curling on herself, trying to contain all of her emotions.
"Not your fault. You tried... I never asked for more." She could hear his smile when he answered and it was making her ache more. She only has another "Sorry" to say to that.
"Tasha... I still think that you are not at your place... I hope that, after everything, you will be able to do something else with your life... You deserve better."
She laughed lightly, feeling the tears pooling in her eyes again. "You deserved better too Steve."
"Thank you."
A silence again. The silence of the end, the time has come, everything was said.
"Goodbye 'Tasha."
"Bye Steve."
The communication cut.
She could see the position of the Captain on her phone. She began to run. She knew that she will never make it in time, but she couldn't stop this desperate hope to force her feet always faster.
Steve let his arms fall back on his torso, having no energy left. He stayed simply there, laying on the ground, basking in the presence of Bucky at his side, who was caressing his hand in comforting gestures that he almost didn't feel, but the intention was there.
He let himself settle more comfortably. "It's strange... dying..."
Bucky came closer. "You already lived it once Steve."
Steve seemed to consider that, thought about his first encounter with death. "That was different. More brutal... I didn't pass out after the shock, but because of the cold. I felt it clinging to my body, piercing me with thousands of needles... I couldn't do anything, just suffer... It was long and painful..."
The soldier cringed. "And now?"
"I don't feel anything... I'm not hurting... I'm not cold... I feel almost peaceful... I feel death crawling slowly..."
Bucky came closer, wanting to be reassuring in this difficult time. Steve smiled, turning his head to let their foreheads touching. Their eyes bored into each other and Bucky had to contain his tears when he saw the calmness that resided in this iris, but the fear too. A mix that made him look younger, too innocent... The eyes of a child.
"I'm afraid Bucky."
"I know."
"I don't know what there is on the other side... I don't want to wake up in a strange world again."
"That won't happen."
"I don't want to be alone."
"You won't be. I won't let you be, not ever."
"Thank you." Steve didn't say anything more. Understanding clearly what his friend was implying.
Again a silence, a silence less and less interrupted by breath. Bucky didn't move, keeping his stare on Steve's. He felt that the torso didn't rise like he should, that the muscles began to become rigid under his palm.
He felt Steve's breath stop. He saw life quit his eyes while his heart beat one last time.
Steve was gone, slowly, in silence, like to not bother anyone. He was gone humbly, simply in presence of the one that counted the most to him in his life.
He was gone, letting behind him a legend to the world and memories to friends.
Bucky passed his palm fondly on his eyelids, closing them in a last tender gesture.
He stayed there, not able to move, not wanting to look away, afraid that the blond will disappear. He began to search his pockets, finding the last gun that he didn't lose during the fight.
A little gun, but that will do the job. He checked that there was still one bullet in it. He wouldn't need more.
His metal arm took the security off and cocked it. Bucky watched every movement, the metallic shine. This arm murdered too many people. It was time it did his last one.
He couldn't stop a shiver when the cold canon rested on his temple.
But before he could fire, footsteps caught his attention. He didn't had to turn away of the dead to know who was there. "Will you stop me?"
"No" Natasha wouldn't stop him. She knew that nothing tethered him here. She would let him have the dignity of dying like he chooses to.
She stayed away, seeing without problem Steve's still corpse.
"Was he alone?" She questioned.
"No. I was with him."
"Thanks. I didn't want him to face that alone again. When you'll meet him, take care of each other, you deserve some peace." She shot him a last look before going further, letting him alone for what he wanted to do. Letting him enjoy this first choice that he did by himself since a long time.
She leaned against a tree trunk, letting the scene go in her back.
A detonation.
And then nothing. You don't need more to end a life.
She waited some more, collecting her courage for the following, trying as best as she could to contain her tears. Slowly she advanced towards the two forms laying on the shore.
The sun was setting at the horizon, enveloping the scene in a warm light. It could have made the scene beautiful if the body were not so still, if their skins were not so white, if blood didn't cover them.
Despite all that, when she was close by, she couldn't stop herself to think they were beautiful so. Like two statues of marble, embraced in a last hug, the sun shone on their peaceful features.
She sat close by, letting a tear escape with a small smile. After all, she knew they were happier now. They were together so everything should be alright.
She carved into her memory their peaceful faces where death was still absent. She would long remember that they died a smile on their lips.