Happy Marissonshipping week 2019! :D
I decided to start a new one-shot collection about Alain and Mairin, and all of these stories will take place in the same universe as my Marisson Family one-shot collection, but when they're younger. Most of these fics are going to be focusing on Alain and Mairin's friendship when they're kids/teens, alongside a few one-shots of their childhood before they met.
Stargazing (Alain-14, Mairin-11)
Alain had memorized the ceiling of his tent.
He stared up at the tent above him, eyes wide open as the night pressed on. His limbs practically ached with exhaustion, but yet there was not one ounce of desire to sleep in him. He wasn't sure how long he had been awake for, but he was sure that they were currently in the early hours of the morning.
His tent door was zipped open, allowing the cool autumn air to rush in and not leave him trapped in his stuffy tent. He flipped over in his sleeping bag, as if hoping to find some position to drift off in, but he knew that sleep wouldn't be coming for him. Most nights he managed to slip off for an hour or so, but that level of exhaustion simply hadn't seemed to hit him yet.
The daytime was no better, his exhaustion still as powerful as ever. He wasn't sure how he had managed to get through the days, but a few weeks ago he had discovered the miracle he called energy drinks. At first it had simply been one from a vending machine to keep himself moving through his travels, but he had become reliant on the liquid. It was the only thing that gave him the energy to keep walking.
He was sure the caffeine wasn't helping with his insomnia– but it was helping him to at least be alert, so he continued consuming it with each meal.
He laced his fingers together as he stared up at the ceiling of his tent, sighing. Nights were the worst, when there was nothing to distract him from his thoughts. Just him alone in the darkness of the night and his mind. His hand drifted towards his left wrist, fingering his tingling skin where his key stone had once sat.
Even after two months, it still felt like the bracelet should be there.
Alain let out a groan, the sound almost a growl as he flipped over on his side, trying to get the horrible thoughts out of his mind. Abandoning Charizard's mega and his key stone hadn't been enough. Seeing everyone around him safe and knowing that the threat was over wasn't enough. The knowledge that he had stood up and fought against... him wasn't even enough.
The guilt was still there– and it was eating him alive.
His hands curled, fingernails digging into his palm. No matter what anyone said to him, he was the one that had helped Lysandre. Even if he hadn't known what that horrible man had been planning, if it weren't for him Lysandre would have never had the mega evolution energy to use, to bend the Zygardes to his will and control them– Alain had even helped capture one of the cores! He had handed Lysandre the power that he had used to nearly destroy the world.
Even if he had turned against Lysandre, and had been part of the force to help stop him, that didn't mean no harm had been done. He had been avoiding the reports and statistics, but he knew that people and Pokemon had been injured in Flare's attack. He knew... he knew that lives had been lost as well.
He didn't know how many– but death had occurred because of what he had done.
And if Lysandre hadn't been stopped, many more would have occured. This was one of the few things that kept him going, knowing that in the end that he had taken a stand against that man. He had helped ended what could have turned into a horrific tragedy. He had managed to stop that man. He had saved Chespie.
He had seen Mairin smile again.
And Lysandre couldn't hurt anyone else.
But even these reassurances were few... for the things he had done were still there. How he had just stood by when Ash had been attacked and captured– he had known that there was no right in this, but yet he hadn't protected his friend. His friend that had been trying to help him find and protect Mairin. He had grown so used to– even reliant– on Lysandre's orders, to the point that he had been frozen when Ash had been taken. Watched him be bond and had boarded the same plane.
It had been so easy to let Lysandre's orders become his thoughts that he hadn't been able to save Ash until after he had let him be dragged off into Lysandre's grasp.
And then Mairin... the professor had told him that a Flare grunt had attempted to bring her in. What would have happened if Sycamore hadn't shown up to stop him? What would have Lysandre done with her? The thoughts of 'what if' terrified Alain the most– especially the ones about Mairin.
Because deep down Alain knew he would have done anything for Lysandre if Mairin had been under threat.
He shouldn't be free. He should be locked up just like every other person that served with Team Flare. He shouldn't just be accepted back as the professor's assistant, not after he had cut off contact with the man and had left him without a word. Things shouldn't just be going back to the way they were before when he had done so many horrible things!
But yet they were, and somehow he was supposed to keep moving on through this horrible guilt.
Quiet whimpers pulled Alain out of his thoughts.
He raises his head slightly, trying to get a better grasp of the sound as it broke the silent night. Alain blinked slowly, heart tightening as he recognized the voice right off. He hesitated for a moment, before pushing himself up into a sitting position, his guilt surging as he heard the soft cries. He wanted to say something, but he found his mouth was dry. He sat there in the darkness for a minute, listening to the soft whimpers coming from the tent next to him.
At last, he found his voice. "M-mairin?"
His voice was quiet, but not a whisper– but it seemed that Mairin didn't hear him. The whimpers kept coming, each one making him want to flinch. He sat there for a moment longer, before rolling out of his sleeping bag and pushing himself to his feet. His limbs ached as he stumbled for the open exit of the tent.
The night was cool, but not chilly. It was a clear sky as well, not a cloud in sight as Alain made his way to the tent only a few steps from his. The soft cries became more clear as he knelt down in front of Mairin's tent, softly unzipping the entrance. He hesitated for one moment, before crawling in.
The eleven year old was fast asleep, sweat coating her form as she laid in her sleeping bag. Her red hair was down, messily falling across her face, but even in the dim light he could still see her tears. She twisted as she slept, those whimpers still pouring from her, eyes flickering under the closed eyelids. Her hands were clenched, as if grasping something, unintelligible mutters coming from her.
Alain hesitated, recognizing that she was experiencing an unpleasant dream, but yet he wasn't sure if he should awake her. He had been only having sleepless nights himself and that part of him would rather let her sleep, even if it wouldn't be restful. He shoved those thoughts to the side though, reminding himself that unlike him, Mairin would be able to fall back asleep. She was also young, so a nightmare would probably seem harsher to her than it would for him.
Alain internally scowled at the last excuse– knowing that his most recent dreams had been far from something for him to just shrug off.
He reached out, gently nudging the twitching girl's shoulder. "Mairin," Alain whispered. "Wake up."
She shivered, twisting in her sleep, but her eyes remained shut. He gritted his teeth, hating seeing the tears on her cheeks, and he grabbed her shoulder, shaking her.
"Mairin– wake up," He said, no longer whispering, but his voice was still quiet. Mairin went still for a moment, and he shook her again, trying to wake her, but not suddenly jerk her out of her sleep. She curled up slightly, and he gave another shake. "Come on, Mair, you need to wake up..."
At last her eyes fluttered open, a panicked and confused look in her amber gaze. Alain looked down at her for a moment as she looked about the tent, before at last staring up at him. She was breathing heavily, a few lingering tears in her eyes, and she simply stared.
Then suddenly she launched herself at him, arms wrapping around his waist as she buried her tear-filled eyes into his shirt. "D-don't leave– p-please!"
A sob rattling her chest as soon she forced the words out of her. Alain pulled back slightly, startled at the sudden embrace. It was only moments later that he returned the hug, pulling the young girl in close in an attempt to comfort her. She cried, her whole body shaking.
Some comfort you are... A part of his mind muttered, and he shoved the thoughts away.
"I'm right here, Mairin," He whispered to her, rocking her back and forth. "I'm not leaving..."
She shuddered at this, pulling back slightly and looking up at him. "B-but–" She stammered. "Y-you said–"
Internally he cringed. "Mairin, you were dreaming," He told her, his mind having several guesses on just what was in her nightmare. "I'm right here, okay?"
She blinked slowly, as if just barely becoming aware that they were in her tent. She looked around, arms pulling away from him and wrapping around herself as she took in her surroundings. She gulped after a moment, glancing at Alain as she finally caught up with the present, and she wiped away her tears.
Then her eyes widened. "Ch-chespie and Bébé–?!"
She sprang for her orange backpack, seizing the bag before Alain could say a word, desperately searching through it. After a moment she withdrew two red spheres, pressing them close to her heart as she held them– no– clutched them. Alain watched her, feeling helpless as she broken down again, sobbing.
He scooted towards her, not quite sure on how to comfort her. "It's okay, Mair, it's okay now," He whispered, and she looked away. She swallowed hard, and he placed a hand on her shoulder. "It was just a dream, it wasn't real..."
"I'm s-sorry I woke you up," She whispered, voice quivering. "I'm sorry."
He closed his eyes. "I... I was already awake..." He muttered. "You didn't wake me up..." He hesitated with his next words. "I'm the one what woke you up– I should be the one apologizing."
Not quite a joke, but his attempt to lighten the tension was received. She gave him the smallest of smiles, before looking down at her Pokeballs again. She pulled them away from her chest, tracing their shapes as she bit down on her lip. She looked up at Alain, looking as if she were about to start crying again. His heart pounded, knowing that was the last thing he wanted to see.
"Do you want to talk about the dream?" He asked, words slightly rushed, and she blinked at him.
"I... I d-dunno..." Mairin whispered, and she turned back to her backpack, slipping the Pokeballs safely inside. "It was just a stupid dream... nothing to w-worry about..."
"It was more than 'nothing'," Alain said, frowning. "But if you don't want to talk about it I won't press you."
She wiped away a few forming tears. "I... I just don't think I'm ready to go back to sleep," Mairin whispered, inching towards her sleeping bag, eyes sweeping the tent. "I'll be fine though, I don't want to keep you up..."
His frown deepened, knowing she was just pushing everything aside. She sat cross-legged on her sleeping bag, hands in her lap as she stared down. Alain hated that he knew exactly what she was trying to do. She was too young to try to bear any burden alone, but yet that was just what she was trying to do. He could see the fear and exhaustion in her empty gaze, and like him it was clear that neither of them were going to be sleeping anytime soon.
"That's fine, you don't have to go back to sleep if you don't want to," Alain said, and he pushed himself to his feet. "And I haven't slept a wink at all tonight, and I don't think I will," He hesitated. "I don't think I can stay in a tent for a moment longer– so I'm going to be outside. And if you want someone to talk to or just to be with, then you can join me, okay?"
She gave a small nod, still staring down on her hands. He hesitated, before slipping out of her tent. He headed back towards his, grabbing the bottom of his sleeping bag before dragging it outside. He didn't want to just leave Mairin alone, but he wasn't going to force her to be in his company. Besides, he wasn't exactly that good at comforting people, and he was sure that being alone would be better than being with him.
He laid his sleeping bag out on the cool grass, looking out over their small camp before crawling in. It was still faintly warm from when he had been in it earlier, and he settled in. He knew there was no way he would be able to sleep, but his limbs still ached with tiredness, so the rest would be more than welcome. He stared up at the stars, not wanting to dwell on anything, but was too afraid to let his thoughts wander.
It was only a few minutes later that he heard the sound of Mairin shuffling about her tent, and her sleeping bag sliding against the grass as she came outside. A faint smile pressed onto Alain's lips as he heard her coming, but he didn't say anything as she set up her sleeping bag near his. He tilted his head slightly, and found that she was worming her way into her sleeping bag. She had set hers up so it was opposite of him, their heads only a foot from each other.
"...It's cold," Mairin said after a moment, breaking the silence. Her voice was much steadier than before, but he could still hear a slight waver.
"Better than a stuffy tent," Alain replied, letting out a small sigh. "It feels... too confining in there."
Though he wasn't looking at her, he could hear the sound of her head moving against the sleeping bag as she nodded. Again he faintly smiled, and silence fell between them as they looked up at the sky.
"...Can I tell you about my dream?" Mairin asked after a minute in the smallest of whispers.
"Of course."
"I mean... is it okay if I tell you?" She asked again, a slight uncertain whimper in her voice.
"You can tell me anything," Alain replied, voice firm. He heard her shifting, and she took in a deep breath.
"It was about the league," She said in a small voice, and Alain went still. "Um– with what happened after, you know–" Her words became rushed, neither of them wanting to mention the term 'Kalos crisis'. "B-but this time both Chespie and Bébé were in a c-coma– and no one was trying to help them! Professor Sycamore wasn't there, and Ly-lysandre kept trying to take them and I was running but the roots from the Zygarde were everywhere and there was nowhere for me to go, and then I saw you–"
She paused suddenly, taking several straggling breaths.
"A-and you said you were leaving," She whispered. "But Lysandre was right behind us, but you were leaving and I needed to get my Pokemon to safety and–" She hiccuped. "And then you woke me up, b-but it felt so real, and I know it's stupid but I was so scared and–"
He reached his hand back, finding her shoulder and holding it. "Mairin. There's nothing 'stupid' about it– and there's nothing wrong with being scared."
Her hand grabbed his wrist. "I d-don't want you to leave," She whispered. "Everyone always leaves."
"I'm not leaving," Alain promised, tone becoming almost forceful. "After what I've done to you in the past I know it's hard to believe, but I'm not going to abandon you again."
"Do you promise?" Mairin asked, voice a begging and quiet whisper. Alain was sure if they were any farther apart he wouldn't have heard her. He wasn't even sure that she had meant to be heard, because she took in a sharp breath as he replied.
"Yes Mairin, I promise," Alain said, and her hand tightened around his wrist. "You're like a sister to me– and I would never leave family behind."
You left Professor Sycamore behind. That voice muttered in his head, and his eyes pressed shut.
I thought I was protecting him.
You hurt him– refused to even talk to him. The voice taunted. And we both know now what your 'help' was really working towards.
"My brother left..." Mairin whispered, voice starting to crack. "When I was eight, I didn't want him to go but he did... He went to Sinnoh to do Contests..."
"We're on this journey together," Alain said, ignoring the voice in his mind– because right now it was Mairin that needed him. "Anywhere I'm going is going to be with you."
"What about when our journey ends?" She whimpered, and he could hear the panic building in her voice.
"We'll worry about that when we get there," Alain said. "And just because our journey will end someday doesn't mean our friendship will," He let out a soft sigh. "...After what we've been through, you have every right to be scared– but I promise you, Mair, that everything is okay now. You're safe. Chespie's safe. And... and I'll protect you. You don't need to be afraid."
Telling her to not be afraid, but yet you're absolutely terrified. The voice mused softly in his mind. You said you were done with abandoning her and the lies– but yet you're lying to her right now.
Alain's jaw tensed, and he snapped back at the voice. No– I'm not! I will protect her– and that is not a lie!
He waited, silence echoing in his mind– the voice had no reply.
"I will protect you," Alain repeated, mostly to himself, but Mairin's hand wrapped tighter around his wrist. She pulled his hand away from her shoulder, but still maintained a strong hold on his limb, clearly not ready to let go.
"Thank you, Ali," She whispered. "Thank you."
He smiled softly. "Didn't I say not to call me that?"
"...Maybe," She muttered. "But you call me Mair, so I can call you Ali. It's only fair."
Alain sighed, but was in no way about to say no. He had never had a sibling before, but he supposed that teasing was simply part of the package. He stared up at the sky, startled at how much of his fear had been driven away within the last few minutes. Even though he had simply been trying to comfort Mairin, he was surprised by how much it had calmed him down.
"Only fair, I supposed," Alain muttered back after a moment, letting out a small chuckle.
"...I feel a lot better," Mairin said. "But I'm still not ready to sleep."
"Then what would you like to do?" Alain asked, staring up at the night sky. A part of him wouldn't be surprised if she asked for a snack or to play a game, but even if he was awake he wasn't sure if he'd have the energy to do much more than just lay here.
She let out a sigh. "...Can you just talk?"
He blinked. "About what?"
"Anything," Mairin said without hesitation, and her fingers dug into his wrist. "I... I just don't want to feel alone."
"Alright," Alain said, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't bring back the bad memories, and with his gaze skyward he talked about the first thing that came to his mind. "Do you know any of the constellations?"
"...I know the Big Dipper..." Mairin muttered uncertainly, and he smiled.
With his free hand he pointed up towards the iconic dipper. "Well, that's not actually a constellation, but just part of one- the Ursaring Major, to be exact. But see the last two stars on the 'dipper' part? They point right towards the North Star, which is part of the Little Dipper, or the Teddiursa Minor constellation..."
He wasn't really thinking about what he was saying, simply repeating information he already knew as he spoke. He pointed to various constellations in the sky, listing off the stars in it or simply the origins of its name. Mairin didn't say anything as he spoke, and even though he couldn't see her face from where he was at he could see her raising her hand out of the corner of his eye, trying to find the constellations in the sky.
"Then there's the one of Rayquaza," Alain said as his eyes located the 'head' of the constellation, gaze picking out the other stars that made up its long serpentine shape. "One of the few you can see all year around..."
He paused, trying to think of the legend that went with the constellation, but a soft sound pulled him out of his thoughts. He could hear the small puffs of breath coming from Mairin, and he tilted his head back so he could look at her.
He wasn't quite sure when she had fallen asleep– but a peaceful look was spread across her face. He let out a long breath, smiling as he saw that the tension and fear was gone from her face. Her hand still remained locked around his wrist, and her hand only tightened when he attempted to pull it away. He watched her for a moment longer, before satisfied that she wasn't going to wake up, and he relaxed.
He stared up at the sky once more, simply listening to the sound of Mairin's breathing and the wind rustling the leaves.
Sleep didn't come for him until much later– not until the horizon was lit gray with the approaching dawn– but with sleep so hard to achieve his whole body relaxed and embraced the feeling as he at last drifted off.
Perhaps they wouldn't be up with the sun that morning, but it had been so long since a look of peace had crossed the young friends' faces that nothing seemed to dare awake them. The Kalos sun peered over the horizon, its rays merely illuminating the two that had at last found some peace in their turmoil.