Author:lilyme
Summary: Early season 13. Arizona realizes that upon moving to New York Sofia had left something... someone important behind.
Characters: Arizona
Rating:PG
Disclaimer:I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Grey's Anatomy". They were created by Shonda Rhimes and belong to her and the ABC network. No copyright infringement intended! All mistakes are mine.
It didn't happen right away.
Not on the first night she was back home in Seattle.
Not even on the second or third.
It happened about a week and a half later.
She found herself alone in the house. Deluca being at the hospital as so often.
She walked by the slightly ajar door to Sofia's room, casting a casual glimpse inside. The neatly made bed. The pastel walls and light pink curtains adorned with butterflies. The shelves that still held some of her daughter's favorite books and toys.
And suddenly there it was.
The realization that her daughter was gone. That she was actually living on the other side of the country. That she couldn't just pick her up from school on the days she was scheduled to spend with her. That Sofia wouldn't just come running down the hall and give her a casual hug, her mind already set on going outside to play with their next door neighbors' daughter. That they wouldn't sit together on the couch together in the evenings, cuddled up under a blanket and played one of Sofia's beloved card games or braid each other's hair, as both "girls" loved to do.
She knew this wasn't forever.
Sofia would be spending this year's Christmas this year with her in Seattle. And they had made vows to each other to at least talk on the phone every two days and have long facetime sessions on the weekends. And if needed she could get on the plane and go to New York to be with her.
But the sudden realization that she couldn't just go see her and meet her after a twenty minute car ride to Callie's house... It hit her like a ton of bricks.
Gulping back a sob she nudged the door to her girl's room open and stepped inside.
It just felt surreal. Even though Arizona remembered vividly how this had all happened. The past years that had actually led up to this situation.
Mistakes made on both sides. Love that was not enough to fix them anymore. Hurtful avoidance. Once lovers, now not knowing how to even exist in the same room any longer. New developments. A new love. A decision to start something new.
And a hideous fight for the one thing neither wanted to give up.
They had lost so much already. And neither was willing to make their daughter their biggest loss of all.
In the end the need for happiness had won. And had led them to the only possible compromise.
She knew that Sofia was happy in New York. With Callie and even Penny. She knew that her baby girl was well and loved. And if Sofia needed her, she would always be there.
And Arizona herself... she would eventually get used to this subliminal feeling of loneliness. Already knowing that next year Sofia would be back in Seattle for a long while. Also realizing that, sadly, then Callie would be the one having to deal with this temporary loss.
She knew that Callie would feel no different. Would need time to readjust as well. And she knew that they both would live through this situation and eventually be able to smile again.
But for the moment Arizona just needed to feel it.
She ventured further into the room and sat down on Sofia's bed. Just looking around this very special place in her house that held so many memories of her precious baby girl for her. Of them decorating this room together, of her reading bed time stories to Sofia and sometimes even vice versa once Sofia had started school.
Unexpectedly she caught a glimpse of a flappy long arm peeking out from a shelf near Sofia's closet.
She frowned.
Could it really be...?
She went over to check and soon her suspicions were confirmed.
Surrounded by a few more toys and knickknacks sat Hugo.
Old trusty Hugo.
A plush monkey. Terribly worn because he really was... well,old.
The monkey had been Callie's from early on. She had once told Arizona that her parents had given it to her on her third birthday. And it had been her loyal companion throughout the years. Her friend and cuddle buddy.
Then when they had become a couple, the monkey had been theirs. Always having a spot on their bed. His duties never changing; always the proverbial cuddle monkey.
And when Sofia had been born, he had at some point found his way into their daughter's room. Receiving just as much as love and attention than her mothers had already bestowed on him.
She picked the plushie up, stroking the head, scraggly and worn from years … decades … of caresses and cuddles, his arms and legs already surgically worked on, since the seams had loosened over time. The monkey had a faint smell of memories and childhood. Of tears and joy. Of love.
Should she send him to New York? Would Sofia miss him once she noticed she hadn't brought him with her? Would Callie be wondering where her childhood friend had gone?
Arizona fought with herself for a moment. Before she decided to be a little selfish for now.
Hugo would stay here with her for the time being.
He was her link to Sofia.
To Callie even.
To the life they once shared as a family. As lovers.
To memories forever held dear.
He was a sign for her. No matter how far away her loved ones were, there was a part of them that stayed with her.
END