I Can Be a Hero Too

(HanatarouxRukia fanfic)

I have not gotten very far into the series, so pleace excuse something I could have added that I missed. This is also my first fanfic, so tell me if it is any good, as I am rather lacking confidence due to having little-to-none skills in english class. Im basing this during the arc of the Soul Society, around when Ichigo and friends have gotten in, and are getting the place rowdy.

It was rather quiet inside her barred cell, where Rukia listened intently to whoever was loud enough to be heard. She was quite bored, nothing much else to do, but to eavesdrop, and learn whatever it was, that was happening outside the tower.

Rukia sighed in boredom. Just as She was about to find something to amuse herself with,Rukia heard a recently-familiar voice coming close to her cage, who seemed to be talking to someone else at the moment (after dropping something that is).

As much as she did prefer her time alone to think over, whatever was even on her mind, Rukia seemed to be relieved increasingly whenever the visitor came by. As much as she did prefer to keep her thoughts to herself, she also seemed to find her current condition much more comforting when that person appeared, and opened her thoughts to him, letting herself be somewhat vulnerable.

The door to the cells chamber opened, as Hanatarou entered, and closed the door behind him. He seemed rather excited to see Rukia still sitting in her usual place, not because he wanted harm to her of course, but if she had been removed, it could only mean the worst to him. Hanatarou had his cell-cleaning equiptment on hand and a plate of food, and tried his best to hide his joy of seeing her again, blushing.

"Hi, Rukia-san. I brought your meal again...feeling any better today? er,I mean, are you finding yourself-" Hanatarou was cut off by Rukia.

"You don't have to look for the easiest way to ask, it's better if you just say it straight the way it is. And, please, just use Rukia, not Rukia-san...I am no higher in any rank than you by being in a cage with preparations for...nevermind, it is better not to talk about that I guess...right?" she mumbled.

Rukia seemed unsure of herself, as Hanatarou noticed himself, and feeling somewhat foolish.

"Here, eat. It is, um, good for you...you could, at least, try to do the best you can here, even if it seems pointless to you, I mean, yourself, but I'm sure others care about you" I'd hate to see her suffer any more than she already does, he thought, his reassuring smile turning into a worried frown.

"Are you frowning?" Rukia looked at him funny, and checked both sides of his face, like a curious cat would before pursueing something new. "Iassume you are worried about me, please, don't go out your way for me, there is not really all that much one person can do anyways in this." and someone as kind as you should not go disobeying orders and getting hurt for my sake, I'm stained as it is.

"...yeah, I guess. Um, so, is there anything in particular you yourself is worried about, Rukia-sa, I mean, Rukia?" asked Hanatarou, trying to start a less akward conversation. He also had just remembered what he was sent in for, and handed over Rukia her plate, than started to sweep the floors from one side to the other, all the while taking his time.

Rukia's expression seemed to calm down a bit before she allowed herself to start "I...well, as much as it is my sworn duty to obey orders, and accept punishments...I'm feeling like, I don't really want to die." Rukia looked up at Hanatarou's eye level before continuing, with a sort of confused, relief-struck smile on her face. "I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. First of all, I do not know what is really unfolding outside this wall of mine, but I'm beginning to think, it does not really have as much to do iwith myself as I thought it had. Is it not weird that my death-to-be seems so...important?. Tell me, Hanatarou...do you know anything...about it? at all?"

Hanatarou felt a bit shocked at her theory, but it did not seem strange to him. Although he often gave all ears to her, she had not mentioned this before, naturally, as she had stated it was new."Well-" Hanatarou scratched his chin for a minute to remember anything he had forgotten "There has been more commotion, and it seems like some are kind of, well, uptight. I also heard that there are intruders-" Hanatarou was cut off again.

"Intruders?" Rukia looked surprised, yet as if she expected as much, but so soon.

"Y-Yes...intruders. There is said to be a loud-mouthed one with orange hair, or something like that, pretending to be one of us, and some others". Hantarou stated, not really expecting Rukia to react like she knew something more.

"I suppose...someone, or someones, decided to foolishly come here to save me...even though my own life is not worth risking their own. Hanatarou", he was at full attention from hearing his name said sternly ",-do not help them. I want you to at least stay on good standings, your a good friend...the last thing I need before an execution is to pain a friend that tried to make me feel better 'till the end...not a burden either of us should have to deal with."

Hanatarou's face was a mixture of surprise and a red flush of embarrasement. He tried his best to hide it by face turning and quickly sweeping the floor like a hyper squirrel. friend?...at least, I can make a difference, right? even if its not huge, like some big strong guy.

"R-Rukia-san...I will still continue to listen to you, you too are a good friend...it is the least I can do for you, I think". He couldn't believe he had blurted that out. It wasn't anything bad, but he thought she might somehow see it weird coming from his own mouth. She looks pretty he thought, as Rukia turned and tilted her head to look out the small window beside her. Hanatarou glanced at Rukia every once in awhile as she sat there, awkard silence that seemed to feel less stressfull when he was busy sweeping and cleaning. At least his mind was busy, and she could go on speaking when she felt she had something else to say.

"Say...Hanatarou...do you ever feel like you cannot do any good? are you ever a caged bird, too?" Rukia spoke, turning to face him with a helpless forced smile. It was not that she was entirely weak like a stereotypical female, but who would not feel down by all that was being planned? and not being able to find a way to get out of it without discrace...she indeed was feeling a mixture of sort.

"...That's..well, I'm not really, you know, fit for anything made for the stronger boys...all I can do is heal and run to emergencies...does that sould pathetic? I cannot do what most can around here, and get shunned for it." Hanatarou gave out a sweatdrop with a slight laugh more out of finding relief.

"pathetic" is what more or so ran through his own mind without doubt...he was, a loser...or at least to others, and himself...well, most others.

Rukia tilted her head at him a bit, smiling kindly like she often did around him "No, you are not pathetic...At least, you have the heart to care about other's well beings, while many with physical strength seem to forget their purpose."

" I hope you are not implying that last part to yourself...I do not believe you have no purpose...you are, what some people call lost? you know, when you are unsure of yourself...you are merely lost...and sad...arent you?" Hanatarou forced himself to be a bit braver in order to be on equal terms with her.

Before the two could speak much further, Hanatarou realized how fast his shift had gone by, and did not want to seem suspicious in a sort of way, and ruin what he had with Rukia around.

"I'm sorry, Rukia, I have to go now...I'd not want to draw too much attention to you or I by being late...take...care...of yourself"

Rukia nodded and smiled goodbye as he quickly gathered what he had brought and paced out the door to where he had to go, door ringing closed. Hanatarou made a quick look behind him, and ran down the stairs.

Rukia waited till all was quiet again, and began her daily session of thoughts, this time going over what had been said to her just now. She hadn't, to be honest, thought about it before. Lost? you mean to say, I really am...losing myself. But it cannot be helped...what else to do, but rot in here, waiting for what I just wish would be over with, yet I fear it equally as much...I'm lost...Hanatarou".

Hanatarou was in his quarters by late evening. He finished his supper, and began to space out. That was, untill he found himself stuck on remembering Rukia. He felt it was a lie to himself if he did not admit he liked her...in a sort of more than friends way.

"But I am useless...perhaps not completely, but as for doing any real good for her...I cannot do a thing...except...will my company at least help her spirit move on?". He shook his head in great detest, cursing himself for thinking like that. But wasnt talking all he could do?...Hanatarou began to think strange things as he remembered Rukia mumbling something about...someone coming to help her..even though it was life-risking itself to merely enter into the Soul Society.

Than I will too...I will, I can do it...I'll save Rukia...myself. My rank isn't worth a thing, I clean, and do something anybody could do...but I'm going to do what even I would be afraid to do...break the rules. Rukia...I'm going to save you...I promise.

This was meant to be a one-shot (been reading to understand term meanings around here but I decided to make it at least 2 chapters long.

Rate, review, comment, whichever you wish...I hope for at least one of the three feedbacks.